Breaking Dawn: EPOV
by Scooterstale
Summary: Breaking Dawn from Edward's point of view...all characters and some dialogue and plot are Ms. Meyer's, of course. Sticks to the original text and dialogue, with additional scenes thrown in. Lemons added where appropriate!
1. Chapter 1: Engaged

"Don't worry, Renee, it's still all under control," I could hear Esme saying from the kitchen as I stepped in the back door. "You have no idea how organized and determined Alice can be when she sets her mind to it. They didn't give her much time, but Alice doesn't need much…I know there are only a few days left before the wedding, but I'm certain that's all we'll need."

_Only a few days left_, I repeated in my mind, walking in the direction of the kitchen. I was already exhilarated from my afternoon hunt, and that thought lifted my spirits even higher. Only a few days to go until Bella and I would be married. _Finally_. Given that I'd only met her a year and half earlier, it shouldn't feel like I'd waited an eternity for this day, but in a sense I had. Ninety years or so, anyway.

Esme was perched on a stool near the telephone, a pen in her hand as she scribbled notes in the notebook she had been using for wedding preparations. She and Bella's mother, Renee, had been spending hours on the phone lately exchanging ideas and making plans, although it was quite clear to me, at least, that Alice was the one really in charge. She was good enough to indulge the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom, however, and either tried to incorporate their ideas or gave a very good reason for rejecting them.

I knew Bella was amazed by how her mother had become so engaged in the planning, since she had expected Renee, of all people, to be utterly horrified by our decision to marry so soon after high school. I had had some trepidation in that regard myself, fearing that when Bella told her mother, her mother's negative reaction might shake Bella's agreement to my proposal.

To both our surprise, however, Renee had taken the news well. Perhaps better than well. From what Bella had told me of their conversation, Renee seemed to have been expecting it ever since our visit to Florida earlier in the year, and had assured Bella that she trusted Bella's judgment to do what was right for her. To my delight, the relief at her mother's acceptance had allowed Bella to relax at least slightly and even begin to enjoy being a small part of the wedding planning discussions.

Not quite enough to take over the wedding planning herself, of course. But I was grateful for whatever I could get in terms of enthusiasm.

Charlie, on the other hand, had been a little more grudging in his acceptance of the idea that his only daughter was getting married at the age of eighteen…to _me_. He was slowly getting over it, but he was still harboring a fair amount of resentment toward me as a result of a number of incidents over the past eighteen months or so. Bella's sudden departure from Forks and the subsequent "accident" in Phoenix that had kept her hospitalized for a week. The pain I had put Bella through when I left Forks last fall. The impromptu three-day disappearing act she had pulled when she and Alice abruptly went to Volterra to stop me from…engaging the Volturi.

Not that I was thrilled by any of those things, either. That meant that I could hardly blame Charlie for his feelings toward me, even when I heard them broadcast loud and clear from his thoughts. All I could do was resolve to try and change his mind in the future.

_If_ we ever saw Charlie again after the wedding. That would depend on how Bella did with her transformation, and how long we had to keep her separated from those she loved so that she wouldn't injure them in a moment of lapsed self-control.

Despite my compromise with Bella, I still hated to think too much about her transformation, even though it was now probably only a few weeks away, at most. Although the most selfish part of me looked forward to it and to making her truly a part of my forever, the rest of me – the larger part – could hardly bear to consider the last few beats of her warm, human heart.

Something Charlie had said when we had told him about the wedding had made that prospect seem even worse, when I had thought the idea couldn't get any more abhorrent to me.

Bella and I had sat on the couch in Chief Swan's living room that day, waiting for him to get home. Bella was practically leaping out of her skin by the time we heard his car pull up, and then waited for him to clomp up the sidewalk from his car to the front door. Her heart had been pounding with anxiety, and I had tried not to be insulted by her apparent fear that her father would think her marrying me was so incredibly awful. Even though I got to hear his thoughts about me on a regular basis, I really believed that she was overreacting.

"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here," I had muttered to her, tightening my grip on her hand.

"Easy for you to say," she had grumbled in response. Her palms had started to sweat.

Her heart rate increased further when she heard the sound of Charlie's key in the lock.

"Calm down, Bella."

She jumped when the doorknob turned and Charlie took a step inside, flinging the door open so that it banged against the wall.

Suppressing a sigh, I called out her father's name. She hissed at me under her breath. "No!"

"What?"

"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"

I chuckled at the idea that I should be afraid of a bullet. Although with Bella's luck, it would probably ricochet off me and hit her.

"Hey, kids. What's up?" Charlie said as he walked into the room. His voice was casual and his thoughts had been random, wondering what was for dinner tonight, until he caught sight of us sitting together on the loveseat, Bella's eyes wide and her face flushed with anxiety.

"We'd like to talk to you," I told him. "We have some good news."

Charlie's eyes had narrowed at us. "Good news?" he repeated.

"Have a seat, Dad," Bella had managed to choke out.

Charlie stared at Bella for a long moment, then reluctantly went to his recliner and perched on the very edge.

"Don't get worked up, Dad," she had continued. "Everything's okay." I frowned slightly and shot a look at her. Things were much better than _okay_.

"Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating," she protested weakly. She was such a poor liar. She leaned in my direction as if she'd like to crawl under me to avoid Charlie's scowl.

_I'll kill him,_ Charlie had thought instantly, taking me off guard with the clearness and the intensity of it. _I knew it. I'll kill him._ I realized what conclusion had pushed him to that thought just as he blurted it out himself. "You're pregnant! You're pregnant, aren't you?"

I might have laughed at the absurdity of that idea – farther off base than he could possibly imagine – if it weren't for Bella half-starting out of her seat in horror. "No! Of course I'm not!" she exclaimed. She flushed crimson in embarrassment.

Charlie seemed to relax slightly. To his credit, he seemed to know when his daughter was not lying. "Oh. Sorry."

"Apology accepted," she replied, and her heart rate slowed from panicked to merely frantic.

For a long moment, none of us said anything further. Bella's mouth hung open as she seemed to be trying to find the words, and Charlie was simply glaring at me, pointing thought-daggers in my direction. _She seems to be telling the truth…but what else could it be…she looks like she's about to faint…knew this was trouble…damn kids today…so stupid…not careful at all…_

Realizing that Bella had become unable to speak and that Charlie really was considering going back to the hallway for his gun belt, I had figured it would be up to me then to explain our engagement. With everything else that had been happening and the rather unusual way my proposal and Bella's acceptance had come about, I had realized that I had been terribly ungentlemanly not to have asked for Charlie's permission ahead of time, and was actually grateful for the opportunity to ask for his blessing then. As such, I had given her a reassuring smile and then turned to Charlie.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"

I wasn't unaware that this kind of approach to a woman's father was no longer common in this day and age, but it was the way I had been raised. It seemed perfectly appropriate, and I had hoped that the message was received with as much sincerity as I had delivered it.

Nevertheless, I wasn't surprised that Charlie slowly turned purple as he seemed to notice Bella's ring for the first time. _What the…eighteen years old! What are they thinking? Utterly insane…not __my__ little girl…she's just a child…kids today! Idiots!_ His thoughts were an angry – no, an _enraged_ – jumble as he stared at the ring and processed what I had just said. A succession of thought-daggers were pointed once again in my direction, many of them involving language not appropriate to recount here.

Gradually, however, the tenor of his thoughts started to settle down. _Who am I kidding? I knew full well it was coming to this…never seen kids so intense about each other…_

Bella had started to get up to go over to where her father sat, but I squeezed her hand so she would stay put. "Give him a minute," I murmured, knowing that he was trying to gather his wits about him. His blood pressure had shot through the roof, but I could hear his heartbeat slowly leveling off. His face started to regain its natural colour as he thought about his daughter, and me, and everything he had seen between us in the last year and a half. He very clearly thought we were much, much too young, but seemed to be arriving at the conclusion that Bella was more mature than her years, and that she could be trusted to do the right thing for herself.

To my surprise, he also seemed to be arriving at the conclusion that I wasn't so bad after all. _Always so polite, no matter what I say…respectful…hard-working…good family…smart, sure to be successful…no doubt he loves her…_

I hadn't realized that I had been rather tense myself as Charlie absorbed the news, and felt myself relax slightly. It was also very interesting to see myself from his perspective, not having the least clue what I really was. Instead of panicking over the idea that his only daughter wanted to marry a vampire – which he would have been fully right to do – he was simply considering me as a young man who loved her. He was considering my prospects, and the life I could offer her.

I regretted that he was proceeding on false assumptions, but there was nothing I could do about that. The situation was what it was.

"Guess I'm not that surprised," Charlie had finally said, his tone accepting but grudging. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."

As Bella exhaled, he gave her a sharp look. "You sure about this?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward," she replied, without a moment's hesitation. I suppressed a very satisfied smile.

"Getting married, though? What's the rush?" Charlie's eyes narrowed at her again, carefully scanning her expression for the trace of a lie. _Says she's not pregnant…but why else…_

Bella was at a loss for a reply. For me, it wasn't a question of there being a "rush" – there was just no reason to wait. Or wait any _longer_. After decades of solitude, I'd found the one I was meant to be with.

But for Bella, the rush was the deal we had made. She didn't want to get any older, she wanted me to be the one to change her, and she knew I wouldn't do it unless we were married. Obviously, these were not things she could tell her father.

"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie," I finally volunteered, to save her trying to come up with a viable answer. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised."

_Well, how in the hell am I supposed to argue with __that__?_ Charlie thought clearly. _They've got me there._

"Knew this was coming," he grumbled under his breath. He still wasn't thrilled, but he seemed to have concluded that there wasn't much more he could say.

But his next thought had him rocking with sudden laughter: _Renee! I don't have to say another thing! Now she has to contend with Renee!_

He doubled over laughing as he thought about what he was sure his ex-wife would have to say about this news.

"Dad?" Bella asked, glancing up at me to see if I knew what was so funny. I had to hold back a laugh of my own as I heard Charlie's gleeful thoughts about Bella dealing with Renee. I wasn't sure that part of it would be so funny, but Charlie's reaction now certainly was.

"Okay, fine," Charlie finally managed to say between bursts of laughter. "Get married. But…"

"But what?" Bella demanded.

"But _you_ have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"

Even though Charlie's source of solace had been the idea that Bella's mother would give Bella enough grief about her decision for both of them, none of us had foreseen how wrong he would turn out to be on that point.

But it was Charlie's initial error that stayed with me for days afterwards: his assumption that Bella had gotten pregnant.

It hadn't happened, of course. Nor would it. Ever. The chance at motherhood was yet another thing I'd be taking away from Bella with her humanity. If it weren't that I'd made a deal and a promise – and that I knew she'd just go to Carlisle or Alice anyway – that realization might have been the last straw, the thing that caused me to refuse to change her once and for all.

Esme smiled at me when she saw me, and tried to wrap up her conversation with Renee. _Hi, son…I'm almost done here…Renee's enthusiasm is outshone only by Alice's…_

I nodded and sat down next to her to wait and find out what the latest plans were. I couldn't pick them clearly out of her mind, as the possibilities and ideas were all jumbled together, along with her thoughts of a mother-of-the-groom outfit, consideration of ways for all the vampire guests to fake eating the reception meal and the wedding cake, ensuring things were ready for us on the island, wondering when Carlisle would be home from the hospital…and so on.

The island. I smiled slightly to myself as Esme thought of it, its warmth, its beauty…the peace and quiet. It seemed too good to be true that Bella and I would be there shortly for our honeymoon, and I'd have her all to myself…for a couple of _weeks_.

Esme leaned over to kiss my forehead in her motherly way as she finally hung up the phone. "I have to tell you, Edward…I'm thoroughly enjoying being part of these plans, but between Bella's mother and Alice…if I could become exhausted, I think I almost would be before this wedding even starts."

"I know Bella appreciates you three taking on the burden. It's not her thing at all."

"Oh, we know that. That's part of why we're doing it. Besides, it's fun to plan a first wedding again…it's been decades since we've done that."

Probably about six or seven decades, since the first time Rosalie and Emmett had gotten married. Neither Esme and Carlisle nor Alice and Jasper had ever bothered to have a wedding after their first ones. It was kind of ironic that Alice had never been interested in having numerous weddings given how much she enjoyed throwing a party and getting dressed up, but I knew she thought it was kind of silly and self-indulgent that Rosalie liked to have one every ten years or so just so that she could once again be the center of attention. Alice wasn't anywhere near that vain.

"Once Carlisle is home, you need to go with him and your brothers to pick up your new tuxedos in Port Angeles."

"I know. I got that from Alice earlier. Where is she, anyway?"

"I think she's at Bella's house, actually, doing fittings for her and Charlie. She knows Bella is out running errands this afternoon and was hoping to catch her when she got home."

"_Catch her"_ indeed. I had no doubt that standing around while Alice hemmed and pinned would be the last way Bella would like to spend a day.

"Actually, Alice just pulled into the garage. She's done with Bella and Charlie." I had just caught Alice's thoughts as she had neared the house. Like Esme's, they were a jumbled list of things to do and people to call. Where I could help it, I had actually been doing my best to stay out of Alice's thoughts lately, as I knew that she might let slip a vision of Bella in her wedding gown that I was not supposed to see yet. It was supposed to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the wedding, and we certainly didn't need any more bad luck in our lives.

Before I could make the effort to shut Alice out, however, I caught one last image of something she _had_ seen today in downtown Forks: scores of handmade posters of Jacob Black, with the words, "Have you seen this boy?" in large black letters across the top. Chief Swan had been blanketing the town with them, despite the efforts Billy Black had made to convince Charlie that Jacob would come back in his own time.

Quite frankly, I didn't miss Jacob Black one bit. He had been unapologetic and downright shameless in his efforts to steal Bella away from me for himself, employing tactics of which I had never thought someone his age capable. In my opinion, he had exploited Bella's very best qualities to use against her – well, against _us_: her empathy, her compassion, her desperate need to avoid causing anyone she loved the least bit of pain.

Moreover, she loved him. I had come to accept and believe that she loved me more, but the truth was, the fact that she loved him at all made me bitterly envious. I didn't want to have to share even one small part of her. It was especially galling to me because I knew that it was my own fault that she felt about him the way that she did. My leaving her last fall had literally driven her into his arms. If I hadn't made such an asinine mistake, they would probably still be no more than childhood acquaintances who ran into one another when their fathers visited each other. Because of that, I couldn't really be angry with either of them…although I still wished periodically that I had had an excuse to break Jacob's jaw as I had promised him I would if he ever kissed Bella again.

Despite all that, I regretted Jacob's absence, if only because it hurt Bella so much. She had made her choice and she didn't appear inclined to change her mind, but it was clear that she desperately wanted him to be okay. She tried to hide it from me, but I knew that she felt horribly guilty for being the cause of his decision to run away. For that reason alone, I wished he would come back. I had no personal desire to have him at my wedding, but I had sent him an invitation myself anyway, because I knew it would make her happier than any gift anyone else could give her. There was no way to know if he would actually come, however, since Alice was unable to see any of the werewolves as she could see virtually everyone else.

Alice looked quite preoccupied when she stepped into the kitchen and dumped an armload of plastic bags on the countertop. They appeared to be full of white fabric and wide, white ribbon.

"Oh, you found it!" Esme exclaimed happily, opening the first bag. "I was afraid one of us would have to go all the way to Seattle for this."

"I _did_ go to Seattle," Alice sighed. "Of course, neither Forks nor Port Angeles had anything like what I was looking for."

"I'm sorry you had to drive all that way by yourself. I would have gone with you," Esme said.

"It's all right," Alice smiled. "It gave me a chance to see what that Porsche could do on the highway."

I chuckled slightly to myself. One thing we all had in common was a love of driving a fast car. Bella didn't share that love now, but I had a feeling that once she'd been changed she'd feel differently…hence the Ferrari that was her "after" car, waiting for her under a sheet in the garage. I could hardly wait to try it out myself.

"And at least I was able to see Charlie and catch up with Bella," Alice had continued, speaking aloud for Esme's benefit, since she knew that I would already know that. "I wasn't sure I would at first." She sighed again. "I hate to admit it, but lately I'm having some trouble keeping track of everyone like I usually do."

"You have too much on your mind, dear," Esme said, reaching out to caress Alice's cheek. "You're working so hard on all of this."

"Really, Alice, it's not necessary to stress yourself out like this," I told her. "You know Bella and I don't care if…"

She held up her tiny hand to stop me from saying anything else. "I know you don't. But _I do_. And you guys gave me carte blanche, so I plan to use it. This is going to be a wedding no one will forget." She turned suddenly toward the doorway that led to the front room. "Oh! Speak of the devil…Bella is here."

As she said the words, I heard the Mercedes Bella was driving as her loaner "before" car creeping carefully up our driveway, and laughed quietly to myself. She had been so used to that ancient truck of hers and its annoying inability to go faster than fifty miles an hour that she was having significant trouble driving something of a superior quality. I knew she suspected me of purposely disabling her truck so that she would have to accept this new vehicle as we had agreed, but truly, the sad beast had died a natural death on its own. Not that I hadn't been tempted…

I suppressed the urge to dash to the front door and sweep her into my arms to bring her inside, and instead waited while she let herself in. She had only recently accepted Esme's and Carlisle's insistence that she come and go as she pleased without knocking, since this would very shortly be her home, too. I wanted her to get some practice at it and become comfortable with it.

"Hello?" I heard her call as she stepped inside.

"In here, Bella!" Alice replied, before I could say anything.

Clad in jeans and a blue t-shirt, my Bella's natural beauty struck me momentarily silent, as always, when she came into the kitchen. I could hear her heart rate accelerate slightly when she saw me and walked immediately to my side. It quickened further when I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, breathing deeply of her scent.

"Finished hunting already?" she murmured softly. I could feel her body relax against me.

"Yes. Finished your errands?"

"Yes. And I was hoping you'd be back, actually. That car…" she pulled away so she could frown at me. "What's the big idea, getting me an armoured _tank_? Do you have any idea how _embarrassing_…"

As Alice and Esme both chuckled, I stopped her with a kiss to her forehead, where her brow had creased. "A deal's a deal," I stated simply. "There were no holds barred as to what kind of vehicle I could choose for you."

"Well, did you have to pick something quite so conspicuous? A couple of guys at the gas station insisted on having their pictures taken with it for gosh sakes!"

Now that _was_ funny. She would have hated every second of that kind of attention. "They were just envious, love."

"They thought I was a drug lord! Or a terrorist!"

"Better that than the accident-prone fiancée of a hundred-year-old vampire, no?" I teased.

"Very funny."

"I'm glad you came over, Bella," Alice said, gesturing to the bags of fabric and ribbon. "I forgot to show you what I've got for the bower and the rows of chairs for the guests at the ceremony."

Bella hesitated. She didn't want to offend Alice, but the look on her face was less than enthusiastic. I decided to rescue her from the ordeal of pretending to look interested. "Sorry, Alice, but I haven't seen my fiancée all day. She's mine for now." I stood up and took Bella's hand to lead her from the room, thinking we could go upstairs to listen to some music or something.

Bella glanced at me gratefully, then turned to Alice with the most apologetic expression she could muster. "I'm sure whatever you have planned will be fine, Alice. Better than fine. I trust your judgment."

I knew that she trusted Alice's judgment with some reservation, convinced that while whatever Alice did would be wonderful, it would also be way over the top for her simple tastes. However, it was the right thing to say, and Alice looked content to let her off the hook and share her purchases with Esme instead.

"You know, Bella," I said to her quietly as we headed for the stairs, hoping that Alice wouldn't be listening to us. "Any time you want to put a stop to this and pursue the expedited option, we can get in the car and be in Vegas in a matter of hours."

"I know, you keep saying that. And it's tempting, believe me." She was whispering, apparently also hoping that Alice wouldn't hear her. "But everything's almost ready now. I don't want to disappoint anyone."

I frowned. "You really need to stop worrying so much about everyone else, and just focus on yourself once in a while. It's okay to do what _you_ want, you know."

"This _is_ what I want," she insisted, turning to wrap her arms around my neck as soon as we got to my room. "I want to be with you, and I want the people I love to get what they want, too. In the scheme of things, it's not such a big deal to put up with a bit of fuss."

I knew her smile was intended to be reassuring, and tried to take it that way. "I just don't want this to cause you to get scared off the whole idea of marrying me…I keep thinking that you're only one dress fitting or one piece of ribbon away from running for the hills."

She stood on her toes and craned her neck up to kiss me. "Let's not have that conversation again, okay? I told you: I made a deal, I'm sticking to it."

I kissed her back, but it was probably obvious that my mind was elsewhere, uncertain and worried.

"Just go to your happy place, Edward. That's what I've been doing," she murmured in between kisses.

"Happy place?"

"You know…a mental image of something happy that you can focus on to keep yourself positive. Like our meadow. That's one of my personal favourites. Or a tropical beach or something."

I considered that for a moment. Yes, the meadow was certainly a happy place…but it was the idea of a tropical beach that made me grin. She had no idea as yet where we were going for our honeymoon, but I certainly had expectations that the tropical beaches of the island would soon be happy places indeed.

With that thought in mind, I was quite able to focus properly on kissing my eager fiancée.


	2. Chapter 2: Long Night

"I miss you already," Bella murmured in between kisses.

"I don't need to leave. I can stay…" I replied, more than content to stay exactly where I was for the rest of the night: snuggled with Bella in her bed, under the covers. Although she was wrapped in a blanket to keep the chill of my skin off hers, my shirt had at some point been discarded and tossed to the floor of her room.

"Mmm," she breathed, the pounding of her heart as loud as the sound she made.

Although we'd spent hours and hours like this over the past month or so, the excitement of her touch hadn't waned even remotely for me. It was pretty much all I wanted to do, all of the time: hold her, kiss her all over, and feel her skin against mine. Given the sound of her heart rate, she appeared to feel the same.

Our lips moved against each other for long moments, until I pulled away only far enough to move to kiss under her ear and down her throat. When I shifted back to gaze at her face, her eyes opened and met mine, warm milk chocolate. Moments like this never failed to stun me: she looked at me with such love and devotion in her eyes that I could almost believe it matched my own. In many ways, it made no sense to me that she could. She was a perfect human, and I, a vampire. It still astounded me that I had found her and that by some miracle, she wanted me, too.

She reached up with her hands to pull my face back to hers.

"Definitely staying…" I muttered, clutching her torso to mine.

"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go." Despite her words, she tangled a hand in my hair and pressed the other against my back, trying to draw me even closer.

I stroked her cheeks gently. "Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True," she said with a smile, running a hand down the length of my chest to my waist. I shuddered slightly at her touch, which seemed to ignite every one of my nerve endings. I pressed my mouth to hers again, but had to pull back with a sigh when her tongue traced over my lower lip. Once again, it was up to me to decide we had gone far enough. She had no idea how much I hated to do it, but it was necessary.

"Wait," she said, suddenly throwing her leg over me as she pulled herself back against me. "Practice makes perfect."

I chucked ruefully. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?" I'd been here every night during that time as I had been for months, but lately she had been even less interested in sleeping than usual, and I found I didn't want to argue with her when what she wanted to do instead was kiss me.

"But this is the dress rehearsal, and we've only practiced certain scenes," she replied softly. "It's no time for playing safe."

That made me hesitate, and I could feel my muscles go rigid. "Bella…"

"Don't start this again. A deal's a deal," she stated firmly, echoing what I had said to her a few days earlier about her Mercedes.

"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I – I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt." For the hundredth time, I thought I must have been out of my mind when I had made her that deal. Before she was changed, she wanted only one thing: to experience sex while her body was still human. In a fog of overwhelming physical desire of my own, I had somehow agreed.

I knew full well _why_ I had agreed. Selfishly, it was something I desperately wanted, too, and essentially had since about the time of our first kiss. She had awakened something my body had never felt before, not in nearly a hundred years. I felt every touch, every kiss, with a burning intensity that didn't fail to shake me to my core every single time. Time and time again, it took every ounce of my being to resist giving in to that desire – almost as much force of will as it had initially taken me to resist the pull of the scent of Bella's blood. I kept waiting for it to become easier, as resisting her blood had eventually become, but it hadn't. Not one bit.

As a result, the prospect of giving in absolutely terrified me. It would be so very easy for the slightest lapse in concentration to lead me to injure Bella – or to kill her. The thought of it was what allowed me to pull away from her each time I could feel things getting to the point that I was starting to lose my focus.

I knew she sometimes thought that it meant I didn't want her as she said she wanted me, but in truth, it was exactly the opposite. I wanted her _too_ much. There had been instances over the last month – and even prior to that – when I had felt my body taking over, where I had been the briefest moment away from doing exactly what she wanted me to do. The feel of her, soft and warm in my arms, her scent, her taste – they overtook me. I just didn't know if my self-control would win the battle with what my body wanted to do.

At least I had made her agree to wait until we were actually married. I had convinced her that I considered it the morally correct thing to do, which was certainly true, in part. But more than that, it gave me some time to work on my self-control…and maybe even to talk her out of it. She was determined to become a vampire, and I knew it would be so much easier if we just waited until then. She'd be even stronger than I was, and I wouldn't have to worry about breaking her bones – or worse.

However, it was also true that I hoped to convince her to wait for a while to undergo the transformation, and to enjoy more of her human life first. It seemed possible; I had seen her determination to change flag before.

But if I succeeded in that, I knew there would be no way she would also agree to hold off consummating our marriage. So I was in a bit of a catch-22 situation.

"I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Bella…"

"Shh!" She kissed me again, but my thoughts made it difficult to return to our previous intensity. I tried to change the subject instead.

"How are your feet?"

"Toasty warm," she answered lightly, and I was pleased to see that she meant it. There was a small part of me that still worried her initial resistance to getting married would resurface and she'd back out before the ceremony.

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?"

I laughed. _As if._ "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

I took that in quietly. She was so cavalier about tossing away her humanity in favour of eternity as one of the damned. "Can you? I don't mean the wedding – which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward…what about Renee, what about Charlie?"

She sighed and admitted, "I'll miss them."

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends, too." She grinned sarcastically. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

I growled at the idea of Newton, who _still_ had not gotten over his fascination with my fiancee. Every time we saw him it was the same: his mind filled up with fantasies about doing the very things with Bella that I would not let us do. He was so casual about it I wanted to send him flying across the room every time I caught him at it.

She laughed for just a moment. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

They were the words I wanted to hear, but they were still difficult to accept. How could she _know_ what this meant? _Really_ know? Nothing I or any of my family could tell her could ever capture the enormity of it. "Frozen forever at eighteen," I whispered, half to myself.

"Every woman's dream come true."

That cavalier attitude again. "Never changing…never moving forward."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

Charlie's words from the day we'd told him about our engagement were still very much on my mind. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you?" she laughed again. "Admit it – for one second, he honestly considered it."

He had, but that was hardly the point.

"What, Edward?" she insisted.

"I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right."

Her eyes widened in shock, and she made an odd gasping noise of surprise.

"More that there was some way he _could_ have been. That we had that kind of potential. I _hate_ taking that away from you, too." That, her family, her friends, her ability to walk about in the sunlight, her warmth, her heartbeat…

She seemed to consider that, but only for a minute. "I know what I'm doing."

"How could you know that, Bella?" I wondered if she'd even thought about this angle. "Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine." Esme made do with treating the five of us as her children, but it was hardly the same. And I knew that half of Rosalie's bitterness with the world resided in the fact that she could never have a baby of her own.

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did – we'll adopt."

Because it was so easy for a family of vampires to just saunter into an adoption agency and walk out with a baby. I was frustrated that she just didn't seem to get it. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human--"

She clamped a hand over my mouth. "_You_ are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you _need_ a bachelor party."

Once again, I knew that this was simply a battle I would never win. I could try and make her understand, over and over and over again, but her mind was made up. Her parents were right about her: once she made a decision, she was unshakeable. Besides, tomorrow was our wedding day, and I didn't want one sour note between us tonight.

"I'm sorry," I said with a sigh. "I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves." But it certainly wasn't nerves about getting married itself.

"Are _your_ feet cold?"

"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait—" I started, but suddenly picked up a distinct, _Come on out and play, little brother, or we're coming in to get you…no matter what we might find in there…_from just outside Bella's window. "Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"

"What's wrong?"

"You don't have to call my brothers," I told her from between clenched teeth. "Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not giong to let me bow out tonight." I was annoyed that they had taken it upon themselves to come over to Bella's house. I had told them I'd meet them in the woods near the stream by our house at…I glanced at my watch and realized I was already 20 minutes late. No wonder they'd decided to just come and get me.

Bella gave me one last squeeze. "Have fun."

At that moment there was a screeching noise against the glass of her bedroom window – Emmett scraping his nails against it to get our attention. _I'm not looking, little brother…I'll give you a minute to get decent…but __only__ a minute…_

"If you don't send Edward out," he hissed in his best evil-vampire impression, "we're coming in after him!"

Bella laughed. "Go! _Before_ they break my house."

I rolled my eyes but slid out of the bed and reached for my shirt. As I buttoned it, I leaned down to kiss her forehead and savoured the thought that the next time I saw her, she'd be walking down the aisle.

"Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow," I told her.

Her nostrils flared for in a moment of panic. "Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."

"I'll meet you at the altar."

"I'll be the one in the white," she smiled, faking nonchalance.

"Very convincing," I chuckled, but sprang out the window. I knew exactly where Emmett was standing on the grass below, and made sure to launch myself at that precise spot. As planned, I hit him with a thud and he muttered a curse as he fell to the ground.

Bella's voice floated down to us softly. "You'd better not make him late."

As Emmett picked himself up and dusted himself off, glowering at me and thinking, _You just wait…you'll have your head turned for a second…_Jasper suddenly scrabbled up the wall to Bella's window. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time." Even from below, I could feel a wave of calm emanate from him. _In case anyone is nervous_…he was thinking.

"Jasper?" she was asking. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled, turning to look up at Jasper. While his attention was distracted, I was able to launch myself at the backs of his knees and knock him once again to the ground. By saying that, he was making our plans sound like they might be a whole lot more lascivious than they were.

"Relax," I heard Jasper say. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks, Jasper."

He leapt back to the ground and headed for the trees. _Let's do this thing!_ he thought, and I tore off after him, with Emmett picking up the rear, still thinking threats in my direction. It never ceased to irritate him that I could win a fight despite his superior strength, just because I knew what he was going to do as soon as he did.

The hours passed as planned. In reality, it was exactly as Jasper had said: pretty much an ordinary night out. The only real difference was that we made a point of seeking out some of the more dangerous animals in the forest, when we might otherwise have contented ourselves with whatever was closest. We also made sure to drink heartily, especially Jasper. There would be an awful lot of humans crammed into our house tomorrow, and the more sated our thirst, the easier it would be.

After a few hours, when we had located and finished with a small pride of mountain lions, we were laying back on a large boulder, Emmett, Jasper and I all in a row, looking up at the sky. The stars were out for once.

"So, bro'…" Emmett asked casually. "Nervous?"

Obviously, I knew from his thoughts that he was talking solely about the wedding and being married in and of itself. I hadn't said anything to either him or Jasper about my compromise with Bella. I hadn't said anything to anyone other than Carlisle, for that matter, although I suspected that Alice had had a vision of some kind which she had been, thankfully, too polite to mention to me, or to think about in my presence. "Not really." I answered truthfully. "I've wanted to marry Bella for so long now it seems like I've always felt that way. I'm looking forward to it." Truly, I could hardly wait for the first time I could call her my wife.

"Do you know yet when…you're going to change her?" Jasper asked, at the same time emanating another wave of calm. He knew that that topic still made me extremely edgy. "Will it be while you're away?"

"On our honeymoon? No." I shook my head. "For one thing, I don't want to be far from Carlisle when it happens, in case I need his help. Or yours for that matter," I added, thinking that Jasper's ability to calm everyone might come in very handy. "For another, I'm still hoping to talk her into more time. More human time."

"Good luck with that," Emmett snorted. "I've never seen someone so determined. It's like there's not a single thing about being human that she thinks she'll miss."

Jasper frowned, leaning up on an elbow to look at my face. He had felt my anxiety level shoot upward when I thought about the only thing Bella had said she thought she might miss. His expression was questioning, but he didn't know what question to ask, or whether to ask it.

I considered making a joke and then tearing back off into the forest in order to change the subject, but it occurred to me that Emmett and perhaps Jasper might have had the "human experience" in question and be able to tell me some more about it. And it might be slightly less embarrassing to discuss it with them than it had been with my adoptive father.

"Well…." I began hesitantly. "Apparently there's one thing."

"What's that?" Emmett joked. "The taste of chocolate?"

"Not quite." I briefly considered the joke and the run into the forest, but pressed ahead. "She has insisted that before she's changed, she wants to experience…uh…shall we say, _physical_ love."

A small fraction of Emmett's brain was amused at my old-fashioned phrasing, but the greater part was simply surprised. His surprise wavered from, _I can't believe you haven't already done it, after all this time – I would have lost my mind by now_, to understanding what the issue was and thinking, _Holy smokes. That's a tough one._

He let out a low, sympathetic whistle. I was grateful that he hadn't seized on this as an opportunity to tease and harass me. At least not yet. "And…?" he asked carefully.

I knew what he wanted to know. "And…I can't refuse her. It's the only thing she wants. Literally, the only thing."

They both considered that for a moment. It was Jasper who finally asked, "So…I take it that's the plan for the honeymoon, then?" I could tell Alice had said nothing to him, and silently thanked her.

"We'll try," I replied simply. "I promised at least that much."

There was silence as neither of them knew what to say. They were certainly thinking over the implications, however, and understood easily how difficult it would be.

"I'm sorry to ask a stupid question, but…she knows, right? About the difference between human bodies and our bodies in terms of…durability? Strength?" Emmett asked.

"Of course," I told him with a sigh. "She doesn't care. Or doesn't think it will be a problem."

_She's braver than I thought…or maybe much stupider._ The thought crossed Emmett's mind before he had a chance to stop it, and I scowled. "Not helpful, Emmett."

"Sorry, bro'. I just don't know what to say about it. You're the one who's been with her all this time, you know better than either of us what it's going to take in terms of care and control."

"Well…maybe you could try telling me…what to expect."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I threw my forearm across my eyes. He was going to make me spell it out? Suddenly, darting back into the trees seemed more appealing than ever.

"I mean…" I forced myself to say slowly, "I don't know…what to expect."

Jasper caught on to what I was saying before Emmett did, and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? You've never…"

"Never?" Emmett caught on, sitting up suddenly to stare at me. "After all these years?"

"No…"

"Not as a human, I can understand. You were relatively young. But not since then?" He was incredulous. "Not even with Tanya practically throwing herself at you?"

I growled at the thought. "She does not appeal to me in that way."

Emmett took that in for a moment. He was devoted to Rosalie, but he could at least appreciate Tanya's beauty. She appealed to _him_ well enough. Eventually he couldn't resist a low chuckle. "Wow. It really has been a long ninety years for you, hasn't it?"

"Very funny." I was still hiding my eyes under my arm to avoid having to look at them, but it didn't protect me from their thoughts. It was a mixture of incredulity and sympathy, neither of which I particularly appreciated.

Another wave of calm emanated from Jasper. "It's a very great pleasure, Edward," he said simply. "Second only to drinking human blood, in my opinion."

Emmett considered that briefly, then nodded. "I would agree with that."

I thought about that in silence for a long moment, appreciating the comparison. It was certainly something I could relate to, particularly since I had tasted Bella's blood. Surely there could be nothing more potent to me than that. It actually gave me a useful frame of reference. But it also emphasized in a new way exactly how difficult it was going to be to maintain control. I shuddered when I thought back to that day in the ballet studio, when I'd had to drink Bella's blood to clear James's venom from her veins…how difficult it had been to focus…to _stop_.

But I _had_ stopped. If this were second to _that_, I should be able to manage it.

_Should_ be able to.

Thankfully, I felt yet another wave of calm emanate from Jasper. I wondered briefly if there were some way I could bottle that and bring it with me to Isle Esme…

With another sigh, I sat up. "Okay. That's useful information." I paused for a moment. "How about for the, uh, human?"

"It's very difficult to remember back that far," Jasper said. "I have only vague memories. Pleasant ones…but vague."

"Me too." Emmett added. "But I think you know that as with all things, our kind feel it all much more intensely."

Again, I nodded, absorbing that. That was also useful to keep in mind.

In a flash, I was on my feet. I'd had about enough of this conversation. It was starting to unnerve me.

Jasper sensed my mood and also stood. "Enough seriousness for tonight," he declared. "I say we grab a nightcap." He had smelled a small herd of big horn sheep a few miles away. Something relatively gentle to top off the evening.

I was grateful when even Emmett let it go, standing and heading immediately for the tree line. As if even a head start would allow him to outrun me…


	3. Chapter 3: Big Day

It was late morning by the time Jasper, Emmett and I got back home. We'd travelled farther afield than we had realized, apparently, and it had taken us longer to get back than we had anticipated. However, I knew there was still plenty of time left…and that Bella was already here, somewhere. I caught her scent once we were within a half mile of the house.

If I had a heart beat, it would have started racing. Instead, my anticipation manifested itself as a wide grin on my face.

"Don't even think about going upstairs. Alice will rip your head off. And I'll help her," Rosalie said as soon as we stepped into the kitchen through the back door.

"Good morning and nice to see you, too, Rose," I retorted, although Emmett headed straight toward her to pull her into a bear hug and a kiss.

"Hey, I'm just saying," she shrugged.

"I'll bet you I'm allowed…" Jasper smiled, and started toward the stairs.

"No men up there!" Esme said firmly, coming into the kitchen from the living room with an armload of white fabric. "Besides, I have things for you to do." She carefully draped the fabric she was carrying over the countertop. "We have to finish setting up outside. I'll show you how this goes, and you boys can take over."

Emmett groaned. "Didn't we hire people to do this kind of thing?"

"Certain things. But not the decorating. Alice wasn't about to trust that to any humans," Esme smiled and shook her head slightly, as though even she knew Alice was being just a little too fussy about some matters.

"Besides, it will keep the three of you out of trouble," Rosalie added smugly.

"Oh? And how about you? What are you going to do? Cheer yourself up by going out to steal candy from some school children?" I asked.

_Very funny._ Her thought was itself a snarl, but the look on her face was a little hurt. "Actually…" she began slowly, and my eyebrows shot up, already knowing what she was about to say and already shocked by it. She finished the sentence for the benefit of Emmett, Jasper and Esme. "I was thinking I'd go up and help Alice. With Bella."

Emmett's eyes also widened. He'd obviously heard enough complaining about Bella from Rosalie that the idea stunned him, too. "Help? With Bella?" he repeated.

Rose shrugged once again. "Getting her ready. I mean, Edward hasn't listened to me about any of this since day one and now the situation is what it is. She's joining the family. If we're all going to spend the rest of eternity together, I guess I'd better at least try to make an effort."

Esme beamed. "Thank you, Rose." I knew she had been trying to talk Rosalie into treating Bella better since…well, pretty much since the beginning. Emmett gave Rosalie an appreciative kiss on the cheek.

I, however, knew that her purported acceptance of Bella was grudging, to say the least. But at least there appeared to be some hope. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, as they used to say. And at least this appeared to be voluntary on Rose's part. I hadn't yet been able to figure out what Alice had had to promise her – or threaten her – to get her to agree to play the music for us during the ceremony.

So I still had my doubts, and, in any event, was not inclined to thank her for what she should have offered automatically: civility to my chosen mate.

But since I knew Alice wouldn't let her do anything to sabotage Bella, I let it go. Let Alice deal with her.

"All right, Mom…" I turned to Esme instead. "What do you need us to do?"

"Follow me," she said, took up the bundle of cloth once again, and led the way to the back yard.

* * *

"There you go…" I was in Esme's hands once again a few hours later, but this time she was tying and fussing over my tie, ensuring it laid the proper way under my collar and waistcoat. I was more than capable of tying a tie myself, but it made her feel good to fuss over me like a mother, so I let her continue. She took my jacket from where it was lying over the back of a chair and held it for me to slip my arms into.

When I had it on, she reached for the boutonniere of white freesia blossoms and pinned it carefully to my lapel. "Perfect," she smiled, stepping back to admire her handiwork. "You look so handsome."

"Positively dreamy," Emmett said sarcastically from where he lounged on the leather sofa, his own tuxedo jacket tossed over a plump cushion. "I can hardly control myself."

"Oh, you. Behave," Esme said, and turned back to me, still beaming. "Are you ready?"

"Absolutely," I replied, without hesitation. I knew they were all expecting me to exhibit some sign of nervousness, but to even my own surprise, I felt one hundred percent calm. Even when I had started to hear guests arriving about fifteen minutes ago and Rosalie had started playing the piano, signaling that the wedding ceremony would start shortly, that hadn't changed.

I simply felt, innately, that this marriage was absolutely the right thing to do, the best thing that had ever and would ever happen to me. I couldn't wait for the ceremony to begin.

If anything at all, I was almost beside myself with eagerness and anticipation. I knew Bella was upstairs with Alice and Renee right now, putting the final touches on her appearance, and I could hardly keep myself from just a peek into their minds to see what they now saw. I couldn't wait to see her: my bride.

We were in the small den off the living room, where we would wait until it was time for us to make our appearance before the guests. There was a short rap at the door, and I knew it was Carlisle with Reverend Weber, Angela's father. He had just arrived, and would be performing the ceremony for us today.

"Hello, Edward," the Reverend smiled at me as they stepped into the room, reaching to shake my hand. _Cold…must be nervous…_he thought when he did so. At least I had a built-in excuse for cold hands for once. "How are you doing, my boy?"

"Very well, thank you," I replied. "Thank you so much once again for doing this for us."

"Wouldn't have missed this opportunity for the world," he replied sincerely. He turned his smile to Esme, Jasper and Emmett. "Doesn't this family look wonderful? Mrs. Cullen, your dress is stunning." _Like they all just stepped off the pages of a bridal magazine..._

"Thank you very much, Reverend Weber," Esme said, still beaming like the proud mother. "This is a very special day for our family. Thank you for being part of it."

"My pleasure. When will we know when to go out to start?"

"Emmett will go check with Alice and Rosalie in a moment," Carlisle told him.

In actuality, I was waiting for Alice to let me know when they were ready upstairs, at which point Emmett and Jasper would go out to walk Esme and Renee up the aisle. Rosalie would know when to switch the music when she saw them exit the den.

As if she had heard us – and I supposed she might have, despite the din of the guests chattering in the living room as they took their seats – I suddenly got an excited, _We're ready, Edward! Oh, wait until you see her!_ from Alice. I couldn't help breaking into a grin. Emmett saw it and knew that was his cue even before I gave him an almost imperceptible nod.

"Let's go now," he was on his feet in an instant, shrugging into his jacket. He let Esme straighten his tie and his lapels, then came over to pat me on the back affectionately while Esme turned her attention to Jasper. "This is it bro'. Last chance to make a run for it."

"I think I'll stay," I replied, still grinning.

"Thought so. See you out there, man."

Jasper came over, put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me seriously for a moment, apparently trying to determine whether his special kind of assistance was necessary. He must have been satisfied with what he saw – or felt – because he simply nodded at me with a small smile on his face. "Come on, Mom," he said, extending his elbow for Esme to take it.

Before doing so, Esme pulled me into a tight hug and beamed up at me. Joy and satisfaction were practically seeping out of her pores, she was so delighted for me. _I knew this day would come eventually…_she thought. _I'm only sorry it took so long for you. I know that you often regret what you are, but if you weren't…you would never have found her._

I nodded, knowing that was true. It was certainly ironic that I had had to become a vampire to be able to find my human soul mate ninety years later, but absolutely true. "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for everything."

She gave me another satisfied smile and a quick kiss on the cheek, then took Jasper's elbow. "Reverend?" Reverend Weber would be first up the aisle, followed by Jasper and Esme and then Emmett and Renee. I would join them afterwards with Carlisle, who was serving as my best man.

It wasn't long before it was our turn to proceed. _Ready?_ Carlisle asked silently, already knowing the answer. _Remember to walk – not sprint – up the aisle, okay?_

I chuckled and followed him out to the living room where the guests were waiting.

Although I had seen it earlier, now, with the guests in place, I was struck by the extent to which Alice had outdone herself. The room was almost unrecognizable, draped tastefully in flowing bolts of white silk and organza, white ribbon and flowers everywhere. The regular furniture had all disappeared, replaced with quaint white folding chairs, each with a comfortable white cushion. The whiteness made the room seem light and airy, as if bright sunlight were pouring in the windows, even though it was overcast as usual outside. The scent of the flowers and candles was heavenly.

Dozens of smiling faces turned towards us as our waiting friends and family looked to see us proceed up the aisle to the white bower at the front, under which we would stand for the ceremony. Reverend Weber was already up there waiting, and Esme, Renee, Jasper and Emmett were seated in the front row of chairs.

I was bombarded by the random thoughts of those watching us, for the most part friendly, happy and congratulatory. _Looks so, so happy…this is so wonderful… _Angela Weber. _So this is the groom…what a nice-looking young man… _an aunt of Bella's I hadn't yet met. _Gorgeous… should be mine..._ Tanya, down from Denali with the rest of her family. _Hmph…big deal…still creepy, if you ask me… _Mike Newton. My eyes narrowed in his direction momentarily, and he looked away as if he knew he'd been caught in a less than charitable moment.

There were a few seemingly long moments after Carlisle and I took our places at the front under the bower, and turned to face the congregation as we waited for the bride's side of the wedding party. Rosalie continued to play the appointed music as planned, but the moment seemed to drag out. Time was indeed all relative.

_We're here!_ I suddenly got from Alice, just as she appeared at the end of the aisle in her long, silvery dress, practically dancing up towards us. She was filled with satisfaction that all of her plans were so far unfolding without the slightest hint of a glitch. She beamed at me and I couldn't help smiling back.

When Alice was settled in her spot under the bower, the music changed to Wagner's familiar march. The guests stood, and my breath caught in my throat. I had to remind myself to keep up the appearance of breathing in and out so that Reverend Weber, the human standing closest to me, wouldn't notice.

To my frustration, my view of the bottom of the staircase where Bella and her father would first appear was obscured when everyone stood, so it seemed to take much longer than it should for them to arrive. For a brief second as I waited, I had a moment of panicked uncertainty, wondering if Bella had finally snapped and made a run for it, unable to go through with it after all. I knew Jasper had sensed it as quickly as I felt it, because a sudden wave of calm hit me. I glanced in his direction gratefully and he just winked.

Then…she was there. My bride.

Emotion welled up in my throat and I gave up the pretense of breathing, momentarily shocked into complete immobility at the sight of her. She was stunning.

Her long, dark hair had been artfully pinned up, with the odd curl left to hang down against her neck. Jeweled combs I had never seen before held the sides of her hair in place. Her white silk gown had a high collar in the back, but swept down in front to a sweetheart neckline cut low enough to be sexy, but high enough to remain modest. It had long, form-fitting sleeves that tapered to the wrist, and fit snugly over her torso, spilling out below the waist into a wide, flowing skirt with a lacy train down the back which followed along behind her on the floor.

The dress reminded me of the fashions of the time of my human life, and I was touched to the extreme by the effort Alice must have put into finding it. It was perfect.

_Incredible, huh?_ Alice couldn't stop herself from thinking, but I found myself unable to move enough to acknowledge the thought.

Both Bella and Charlie looked rather nervous, both probably concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. She was scanning the room with her eyes, taking in the decorations and the people she was seeing for the first time, trying to absorb it all and make sense of who and what was where. Her eyes darted back and forth uncertainly at first, searching, but after a few steps up the aisle, her gaze caught mine and our eyes locked on one another. When she broke into a beautiful, wide smile, I felt my whole body relax. An almost audible click sounded in my head as everything in the world seemed to slide into place at the same time.

My whole life had been leading to this perfect moment.

I was amused to see that Bella lurched forward slightly, trying to hurry up the aisle. Charlie's arm tensed under her hand and he lifted his other arm to place a hand over hers, restraining her to the proper pace. She let herself slow down and be led by him, but her eyes didn't move from mine, and her smile didn't waiver. The happiness poured out of her in waves, exceeded perhaps only by my own.

In another moment, she was beside me, and Charlie took her right hand from his arm to place it in mine. He had no way to know that I could actually "hear" him, but, perhaps reflexively, he nonetheless directed a very clear thought to me as he did so: _My baby, my most precious possession…you better take care of her._ I couldn't keep myself from nodding ever so slightly, but was glad that he didn't seem to notice as he gave his daughter one last kiss on the cheek, then turned to take his seat next to Renee.

Bella clutched my hand tightly, eagerly, lacing her warm fingers through my cold ones. She gave them a squeeze as if to reassure me that everything was right in the world, and I squeezed back. I well knew it.

The ceremony itself was a traditional one, and not lengthy. We recited after Reverend Weber as directed, and exchanged rings. The gold wedding band I placed on her finger matched her engagement ring, since it was the matching band my father had given my mother. My father hadn't worn a ring, but I wanted to, and I felt a clear thrill when Bella slid a wide gold band onto my left hand. I had never worn a ring before, but this one felt comfortable, like it belonged there and always had.

I was exultant when the minister finally pronounced us husband and wife, and gave me permission to kiss my bride. Bella had happy tears in her eyes as I leaned down to press my lips to hers softly, treating her as the precious treasure she was.

She had other ideas, however, and got a laugh from the crowd when she threw caution to the wind and flung her arms around my neck, clutching me to her in a deep kiss that was not quite polite for church – thankfully, we weren't actually in one. Besides, I was delighted with her enthusiasm and returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm of my own.

It wasn't until Carlisle thought with no small measure of amusement, _Uh, son? Hate to interrupt, but…_that I figured it was up to me to break the kiss and return to the actual moment, here, in a room full of people. I placed my hands gently on Bella's cheeks and pulled away, smiling crookedly down at her.

Bella blushed a little but smiled, not quite regretting her flagrant public display of affectionate abandon. With a return smile of my own, I took her hand and we turned toward the congregation. There was one last traditional moment to cap off the ceremony…

"Friends and family," Reverend Weber announced, "it is my great pleasure to be the first to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Edward and Bella Cullen."

I loved the sound of that.

I wondered if Bella had even heard it, however, as she was still looking up at me, beaming with apparent happiness. As we were pulled into one after another of the congratulatory embraces of our guests, she continued to clutch my hand tightly. My heart soared to see her deep joy equally reflect my own.

All the moments of uncertainty, the earliest days of our acquaintance when I had actually run away, certain that I had to cut her out of my life to avoid killing her, the later, horrible half year after her eighteenth birthday when I had run away again…they all seemed so silly now. There was no way to doubt that we belonged together. Forever. My bride.


	4. Chapter 4: Gesture

The reception followed directly after the ceremony. Still clutching Bella's hand, I led her out the back patio doors to the yard, which had been decorated with still more flowers, ribbon and white cloth. A bar and a dance floor had been set up on the grass, and uniformed wait staff were ready with glasses of champagne for our guests. There was time now to greet everyone individually and chat. To my delight, Bella had relaxed completely, and no longer seemed to mind being the center of attention – at least for the moment.

Among the first to approach and speak to us were Seth Clearwater and Billy Black, Seth's mother, Sue, at his side. I had really come to like Seth. Similar to Angela Weber, his thoughts were prevailingly kind and optimistic, a welcome relief from the usual pettiness and banality that occupied most human minds.

Sue was nervous amongst so many vampires, which was obvious from the rigid way she held herself, as though ready to run if need be. Her thoughts also betrayed her state of mind. She was not particularly glad to be here, but had not been about to let her son walk into the vampires' lair without her. She also had a strong desire to support both Charlie and Billy. Her affection for both men was considerable; it would be interesting to see how that turned out.

Billy Black had an unusual air of contentment about him, but he seemed to be carefully shielding his thoughts from me. Of course, the pack had warned him of my ability. I might have been uncomfortable by this shielding, wondering if it portended something negative, but his contentment belied that. It were as if something very good had happened to him recently, but he did not want me to know what it was.

"Congrats, guys," Seth said with a smile, then surprised me by leaning forward to hug me. Other than Bella, of course, it was unusual in the extreme for a human – or in this case, a partial human – to willingly subject himself to physical contact with a vampire. I returned the hug with my free arm, grateful once again for his easygoing and accepting nature. "It's good to see things work out for you, man," Seth continued. "I'm happy for you."

I was touched by the sentiment, given what this day meant for his friend and pack mate, Jacob. "Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me."

Pulling back, I looked at Sue and Billy beside him. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," Billy replied simply, still keeping his thoughts guarded. Sue's thoughts were rather less charitable than her son's, but I wasn't about to let it bother me. Her attitude was understandable.

Bella's friends from high school were next to speak with us. Angela Weber and her boyfriend, Ben, were clearly delighted to be at the wedding, and Angela spent several minutes squealing in admiration over Bella's dress. Newton and Jessica were with them, and I had to clench my teeth against the urge to backhand Newton upside the head. While Jessica's thoughts were grudgingly admiring of the wedding décor and Bella's appearance, Newton's were a snarl of the usual tedious fantasies. Although these were nothing new, the fact that the woman he was thinking them about was now my wife was. This and the fact that he was holding Jessica's hand while doing so doubled my usual irritation with him.

_Oh, Edward…you look so…so…_ I caught, and glanced up to see Tanya looking at me wistfully, her sister Kate and their coven mates Eleazar and Carmen right behind her. Speaking of tedious fantasies…

I felt Bella's grasp on my hand tighten as Tanya hugged me. Obviously, she had understood immediately who this grouping of vampires was, and her eyes had widened as she took in their appearance. Of course she would overestimate their beauty, and underestimate her own in comparison.

"Ah, Edward. I've missed you," Tanya said aloud. Her hug was just a moment or two too long to be appropriate, and I had to maneuver away from her while still endeavouring to remain polite.

"It's been too long, Tanya. You look well," I replied casually, holding her at arm's length.

"So do you," she smiled as she looked into my eyes, seeming to forget a moment where she was.

"Let me introduce you to my wife," I said pointedly, enjoying the sound of the word rolling off my tongue. That was the first time I'd been able to say it since it had become true. My cousins all laughed slightly, not missing how much I liked saying that. Tanya still looked wistful, but at least her thoughts had moved from the fantasies and on to curiosity about Bella. "Tanya, this is my Bella."

Tanya turned her gaze from my face to Bella's. _So this is the one who finally managed to capture Edward Cullen's attention…She's quite beautiful. She'll make a stunning vampire… _I was grateful for the compliment, but winced just slightly at the last part. With Bella now mine – officially, unequivocally _mine_ – warm and soft at my side, I didn't want to think for a moment about her ceasing to be human.

"Welcome to the family, Bella." Tanya smiled at her, shaking her hand. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?" She was genuinely regretful that they had not come to Forks to help us with Victoria's squad of newborn vampires.

"Of course," Bella replied, sounding slightly out of breath. She had been holding it while waiting to see how Tanya would receive her. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" Tanya grinned at her sister. Neither of them endured any shortage of male companionship, but they both still longed for true love.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate sighed, rolling her eyes. She also reached out to shake Bella's hand. "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen and Eleazar stepped forward, and Carmen placed her hand over Kate's. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you." _Lovely girl, smells so wonderful… _She thought, in typical vampire fashion.

"M-me, too," Bella replied a little awkwardly, still overwhelmed by the Denalis' appearance. I wanted to take her aside and explain to her in no uncertain terms that she was every ounce as beautiful as they were. No doubt about it. It never ceased to frustrate me that she simply could not see it, not even today.

Tanya realized that there were others waiting to speak with us – Charlie's human co-worker and his wife. The pair were staring at my cousins with wide eyes, also taken with their appearance. The wife, whom I had not met before, was wondering if she had stepped into a convention of supermodels. She was astonished by their unusual beauty but, like all other humans, her brain would not land on an otherworldly explanation for it. She simply assumed good genes ran in the family. _I can't imagine how gorgeous their children are going to be_, the woman thought, glancing back at me and Bella.

I suppressed a sigh at the idea.

"We'll get to know each other later. We'll have _eon_s of time for that!" Tanya said with a laugh, gracefully leading her family away to give the other guests their time with us.

Alice had built all of the usual traditions into the reception agenda. We cut a four-tiered white wedding cake heavy with fondant flowers and mashed bites into each other's faces. Bella had considerately kept the piece she fed to me as small as possible without it being conspicuous, knowing that human food literally made me gag. She threw her bouquet over her shoulder to the group of unmarried women, somehow managing to direct it to her intended target, Angela Weber. When it was my turn to remove her garter, I wasn't surprised to see that she had already maneuvered it down from her thigh in order to modestly minimize the amount of leg she would be flashing at the crowd.

_Oh, come __on__…_ Emmett thought from off to my left when he saw what she'd done. _That's no fun at all! _For his amusement – and, admittedly, to tease Bella – I pushed her dress up higher than necessary over her knee, letting my fingers trace sensuously down the length of her leg as I bent down to remove the garter with my teeth. Emmett and Jasper both laughed when Bella flushed red.

Bombarded by another random fantasy from the thoughts of Mike Newton while he watched this, I turned and shot the garter at his face, knowing that I'd launched it with enough force to sting. Perhaps a petty move, but comparatively harmless and extremely satisfying.

When it was finally time for our first dance, I was delighted to find that Bella was relaxed, settling contentedly in my arms as she let me lead her around the floor. It felt wonderful to finally be able to wrap my arms around her. I was vaguely aware of photographs being taken, but tuned out the crowd to concentrate on my bride.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered to her, deciding to give those words a try. It was no surprise to me that they were just as satisfying to say as "my wife."

She laughed. "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while," I replied happily. Like _forever_. I couldn't resist leaning down to kiss her at the thought. This extraordinary creature was mine. _Mine._

I was reluctant but knew it was traditional to relinquish her to her father for the next dance, while I went to dance with Esme. We were separated for some time after that as well, as we played dutiful hosts and made a point of speaking to and dancing with everyone we could. It felt somewhat odd to be the center of attention at what was primarily a gathering of human guests, after spending so many years trying to live unnoticed on the fringes of human society. I could tell that my family felt a bit of strain with it as well, although they were unwaveringly gracious with everyone with whom they spoke.

Esme in particular didn't seem to stop beaming, she was still so delighted with how everything had worked out.

Emmett was trying to remember what it was like to get drunk. He'd had his share of such experiences during his human life and recalled that he had rather enjoyed them, but was now finding the smell of alcohol rather nauseating.

Finally, I felt as though I had spent enough time being conscious of my social duties and could selfishly return to my bride. She was really the only one I wanted to spend time with tonight anyway. Fortunately, she was not far away, and she was dancing with someone I didn't care the least about offending: Mike Newton. He was only half-concentrating on his conversation with Bella in any event, the other half of his silly mind fully entrenched in yet another tedious and annoying fantasy about her.

I was gratified that she looked relieved when I cut in and sent him on his way with a look that made him feel guilty about his unsavoury thoughts.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" she asked, though she was clearly amused.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse," I replied archly.

"Yeah, right."

Even today, of all days, she _still_ didn't believe she drew the kind of admiration she did from the opposite sex. It was truly incredible. And typical Bella. "Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um," she hesitated for a fraction of an instant, as though wondering why that would be relevant. "No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I _am_ disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror." Disappointed but not surprised. Any other woman would have been obsessed with checking her appearance every five minutes. Bella would have said it would only make her more nervous to do so.

"You are very biased, you know."

Maybe in some ways, but not about this. This was empirical fact. I sighed and stopped dancing so that I could turn her around to face the direction of the house, where the glass of the back wall reflected the lights outside and acted as a huge mirror. I pointed toward our reflection.

"Biased, am I?"

She seemed to focus on my image first, studying that for a moment before turning her eyes to her own. She looked like a fairy tale princess in her flowing white gown, skimming gracefully over the curves of her slender body. Her dark hair set off her perfect ivory complexion, and her warm brown eyes were glowing with the excitement of the day. They widened in surprise as she realized that the beauty looking back at her was, indeed, her.

_So did I miss everything, Cullen? Or can I still get in a dance with the bride?_

I had been so focused on Bella's reaction to her reflection that the thought took me completely off guard. Although I had spent decades learning not to react visibly when someone thought my name, I turned automatically in the direction from which it had come.

Jacob Black.

I think I made some kind of sound out loud from the surprise when I realized who it was, and that he had deliberately "called" to me from somewhere nearby.

Bella was going to be thrilled. The thought of her happy reaction made me grin in delight.

She was staring at me with wide eyes. "What is it?"

"A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?"

Without answering, I whirled her across the dance floor, spinning towards the far side which edged the dark part of the lawn and the beginning of the forest. Since the outdoor lights didn't shine quite this far over, none of the guests would be able to see us, but there was enough of a glow to permit Bella's human eyes to see her surprise.

"Thank you," was all I could think of to say. I could only imagine how difficult it would be for me to make this appearance if I were the one in his shoes. "This is very…kind of you."

_I'm here for her_, he thought, and added aloud for Bella's benefit, "Kindness is my middle name. Can I cut in?"

Fortunately I had an arm around her waist, as I felt Bella sway on her feet in shock. "Jacob! Jacob!"

"Hey there, Bells."

She tripped forward in the darkness, but Jacob reached out to grab her just as I let her go. Without hesitation, she pressed herself against him and he clutched her to his chest. He leaned down to rest his cheek on the top of her head.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that I should give Bella some time to speak with Jacob alone, yet reluctant to do so. Part of it was my continuing unease with leaving her alone with werewolves. Despite the fact that the wolves had supported us in the fight against Victoria and her newborn vampires, the truce between us remained a tenuous one, and I still knew that adolescent werewolves were inherently unstable.

But part of it, admittedly, was the remaining, nagging jealousy. She had almost chosen him.

Quickly, I shoved that thought out of my mind, annoyed at myself. She had just married _me_. She was still standing there in the dress, for heaven's sake. Surely insecurity on my part was as ridiculous as her worrying about…_Tanya_.

Except that I had never been anywhere remotely close to having a relationship with Tanya beyond our "family" ties. I had never kissed Tanya. And I had never even considered holding Tanya in an embrace like that.

But for Bella, I forced myself to take a step backward. This really _was_ ridiculous. She had made her choice. "Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," I finally said.

Jacob was momentarily surprised by my offer to leave him alone with my wife, but Bella, with tears in her eyes, gave me a small, grateful smile. When I saw it, I was glad I had made the decision to give them this moment. It was the right thing to do. Hopefully she'd be able to find some peace where he was concerned. Without another word, I slipped back to the rest of our guests.

But I wouldn't be far away. I would try not to listen to their conversation, but I wasn't going to risk her safety, either. Thankfully, I could sense Sam and some of the other wolves in the forest, monitoring the situation with Jacob and Bella. To their credit, they didn't want to see Jacob do anything to upset the party, either…even though their primary concern was their pack mate's safety, given the number of vampires in attendance.

Coincidentally, the first person I saw when I returned to the crowd near the dance floor was, indeed, Rosalie. Emmett was a few feet away speaking to one of Bella's relatives, but Rosalie couldn't be bothered to try and make small talk with a human.

"I can't believe you willingly left her with that _dog_," she sneered, apparently having watched the whole scene as Jacob came out from the forest. It was too dark to see that far with human eyes, but of course her vampire sight would not have missed it.

I sighed heavily. "And what would you have had me do?"

"Start by telling him to get lost, maybe."

"He's an invited guest."

"She _invited_ him?"

"Actually, I did."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head from side to side. "I'm not even going to try to understand why. Sometimes I don't get you at all."

I gestured toward the dance floor. May as well get in our obligatory dance if we were going to have this conversation anyway.

"Whether I like it or not, he's Bella's friend," I said simply, as we fell easily into rhythm with the song playing.

"From what I heard, he's a lot more than her _friend_." She practically spat the last word as she said it. "I don't know why you tolerate it."

"What if Emmett were to try and tell you with whom you could be friends? How would that go over?"

"That's different. I can look after myself."

"Don't tell me you're suddenly worried about Bella's safety?" I raised an eyebrow at her cynically.

She hesitated for a few seconds. To my surprise, I could tell from her thoughts that there actually _was_ some concern there. She really was trying to make more of an effort to like Bella and treat her as part of the family – not so much out of good will on her part, but out of necessity given that Bella had now married into the family. And after a good deal of nagging from Emmett. I was touched to see the degree to which Emmett had gone to bat for us with his significant other. I knew from experience that it wasn't easy to get Rosalie to do anything she didn't want to do.

"I certainly prefer her to that pack of mutts," Rosalie eventually muttered. She was still unwilling to admit out loud any softening of her attitude toward my bride.

"Well, I guess I should be grateful for that much, shouldn't I?" I couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"Believe it or not, Edward Cullen, I actually care about what happens to you. Whether you're happy or not. I'm not saying I wouldn't have preferred you to make a more…_sensible_ choice, but here we are."

I was trying to decide how to reply to that small concession but was saved when the song ended. I could see Emmett and Tanya approaching us from the edge of the dance floor. Right. Tanya. I hadn't danced with her yet, either.

I took a moment to focus in and find Jacob's thoughts, to check on Bella. I couldn't hear his actual conversation with Bella from here with the volume of the music, but his sadness was easy to find in this crowd, otherwise overwhelmingly full of positive thoughts and well wishes. _Looks so beautiful…can't believe she did this…can't believe she's tied herself to the bloodsuckers…would have been so much better off with me…_

I couldn't suppress a sigh. It would be so much easier for all of us if he could move on. It would release Bella, and ease her conscience entirely if she could see him happy. If he would think clearly for five minutes, he would see she wasn't meant to be with him anyway. If she were, he would have imprinted on her long ago. Wouldn't he? I would have to ask Carlisle about that. He understood these wolves much better than I did.

"Mind if I get a moment with the groom, Rose?" Tanya asked pleasantly. "I haven't had a dance yet."

"Be my guest," Rosalie replied. Emmett had already taken her hand to lead her away.

I steeled myself for the next few minutes with Tanya, which were sure to be awkward in some fashion, even if she didn't say anything aloud. I liked her well enough as a "cousin", but her thoughts about me had always made me feel rather uncomfortable.

As we began our dance, Tanya moving as easily and gracefully as Rosalie, Esme and Alice had, she gave me a smile. "You've looked so happy today, Edward. It's so nice to see." Her tone was light, but there was wistfulness behind it. She was wishing that this was our wedding – that she was the bride.

"I know you know exactly how I feel about you, and always have," she continued. There really was no point pretending otherwise. "But I really am happy for you. I hope you know that, too."

Yes, she was sincere in that. "I do. Thank you, Tanya. I appreciate it."

"And I really am looking forward to getting to know your Bella."

She meant that, too. "I appreciate that as well."

There were a few moments of silence as we danced. She was filled with curiosity, her thoughts running through a dozen things she wished she could ask me about my relationship with this human woman. They ranged from – _why her? what is it about her?_ – to wondering about the physical aspects. She and Kate had in the past always rather enjoyed the "company" of human men, but it hadn't generally turned out that well for the men involved, so much weaker than their female vampire lovers. I almost shuddered at her thoughts about what had happened to some of those men. That was all I needed, tonight of all nights. I gritted my teeth, hoping to God she wasn't going to actually ask me any kind of question along those lines.

While I was fretting about that subject, she managed to surprise me with the question she actually decided to ask. "Is it true that you intend to turn her yourself, Edward?"

I was so caught off guard that my expression must have been rather stunned.

"I mean…that's what Alice said." Her brow creased in concern. "I'm sorry…should I not have asked about that? Alice didn't give me the impression that it was a secret…at least not amongst us."

I managed to gather my composure quickly. "No…it's not a secret…" I said slowly. "But it's not the most joyous thing for me to think about, either."

"Why not?" She hesitated after asking the question, checking my expression once again. "I mean…I'm sorry if I shouldn't ask you that, but really…It's the only logical outcome, isn't it? Obviously, if you love her enough to marry her, you can't let her get old and sick and…_die_. You'd be alone again."

"There are other possibilities."

"I suppose, but none of them are reasonable in the situation, Edward. And Bella apparently knows that. Alice says that this has been Bella's wish since the beginning."

I gritted my teeth together again, almost wishing now that Tanya had instead decided to spend our dance telling me how much she loved me. As horrid as that would have been to deal with, this wasn't much better. "That's true…" I replied from between my clenched teeth. "I wouldn't do it otherwise…if it weren't entirely her choice."

"I can understand that, but since it _is_ her choice, why do you look so…_tense_ about it? Are you concerned you won't be able to do it properly? Because I'm sure Carlisle can help. Or you could let him do it. You know that he's able to."

"It was never my desire to get involved in Bella's life so that I – or any of the rest of us – could end it for her. The thought practically sickens me."

She was baffled by the fact that I viewed it that way, since she, like Emmett, had never minded being what she was. She was about to ask me to explain that to her, but everything in my mind was suddenly blocked by the thoughts of Jacob Black, so forceful that it were as if he were standing next to me screaming in my ear: _NO! THEY CAN'T! HE CAN'T! HE'LL KILL HER! I WON'T ALLOW IT! I'LL KILL HIM MYSELF FIRST!_

For a fraction of an instant, I thought he was thinking about Bella being turned into a vampire, that being the subject I had just been discussing with Tanya…but then I caught the context of his reaction: frenzied, scattered images of Bella and me together, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing…then Bella bruised, broken bones…

She must have said something to him about our plans for our honeymoon. About the bargain that we had made. And he knew enough about my kind to realize the implications…and to anticipate the worst.

"Sorry, Tanya, excuse me…" I managed to mutter, and was across the dance floor in a flash, probably faster than any human eyes had even noticed.

When I reached the spot near the trees where I had left Bella with Jacob, I saw that he had her upper arms clenched in his large hands, his face twisted with rage. Her facial expression was surprised – but also frightened. "Ow, Jake! Let go!" she was saying, as quietly as she could to avoid attracting the attention of our guests to this darkened corner. Despite her quiet tone, her heartbeat was racing.

When I saw him shake her, it was all I could do to keep from pouncing on him and ripping his shoulder from its socket. I don't know what allowed me to refrain from doing it, other than the certain knowledge that no matter how frightened Bella might be at the moment, she would hate me if I did. More importantly, I also knew that at a sign of aggression from me, Jacob would phase and Bella would be far, far too close to him when he did.

"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!" He hadn't noticed me arrive, he was so focused on her and his anger, as he shook her again and tightened his grip on her arms.

"Jake – stop!" she gasped.

"Take your hands off her!" I growled, using every ounce of self-control I had to fight my own inner impulse to violence. I was vaguely conscious that both Emmett and Jasper were somewhere behind me. They had seen me disappear from the dance floor, and Jasper had sensed something was wrong. I heard snarls from the darkness of the forest, but couldn't have cared less about the dogs also surveying the scene.

At some point, Seth Clearwater had also come up from behind. His voice was calm, trying to reason with Jacob. "Jake, bro, back away. You're losing it." He was wondering if he should phase immediately himself to try and avert what could easily become a bloodbath.

Jacob, however, was still frozen with Bella's arms in his grasp, his eyes wild and staring at her.

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."

I was about to use up my very last shred of patience. "Now!" I snarled.

Jacob suddenly released his grip on Bella, and I swept her out of the way and behind me in the blink of an eye. Just as quickly, I crouched into a fighting stance, waiting for his next move. Two wolves had stepped out of the cover of the trees and now stood between us, clearly trying to keep us separated.

Jacob's thoughts were so tangled and furious – and, admittedly, full of concern for Bella – that it was hard to make out one thought in particular. Seth stepped over to him, wrapped his arms around Jacob and tried to tug him toward the forest. "C'mon, Jake. Let's go."

"I'll kill you," Jacob Black finally managed to choke out, glaring at me with hatred as intense as I'd ever felt from anyone. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" I saw him shudder, usually the initial sign of a wolf about to phase.

As if he scared me in the least, mangy _dog_. Who was he to interrupt _my_ wedding and accost _my_ wife? For the first time, I was ready to disregard Bella's feelings entirely and put an end to Jacob Black and his interference. I felt nearly as savage as I had felt with James in the ballet studio.

I ignored it when Sam, in his wolf form, growled. "Seth, get out of the way," I hissed, still focused on Jacob, my own head clouded with rage. It would give me pleasure to rip this dog limb from limb.

Seth gave Jacob another yank toward the forest. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon." Sam followed and shoved Jacob's chest with his massive black head.

In another instant, the three of them were gone.

But I didn't miss Jacob's parting thought, finally clear through the jumble in his head that had been a mix of human anger and a werewolf about to phase to animal form: _You hurt her, and I will hunt you down and kill you, I swear. The rest of the bloodsuckers can tear me apart if they want. But I will get you._

I don't take kindly to threats and never have. I had a very dark moment of fighting the urge to chase him into the trees and finish this once and for all. Bella's friend or not, he could not continue to think he had the right to intervene in her choices and our lives. I would not spend the rest of my existence dealing with him and his inability to control his emotions.

Two things made me wrestle myself under control.

The first was Carlisle, and the tenuous peace he had spent so many years crafting between us and the wolves so that we could co-exist in relatively close quarters.

The second was, of course, Bella, now trembling at my side. Like Bronte's Heathcliff, not only could I not bear to see her upset by the loss of him – or anyone – I could not escape the knowledge that Jacob's reaction had been born, at its essence, of deep-seated concern for her safety.

Besides, the dog was right: the "bargain" I had struck with her was ill-advised in the extreme, to say the very least. It was insanity, and I knew it. It was only my inability to say no to her and whatever passed for hormones in my body that had caused me to agree.

I heard Bella mumble something to the remaining brown wolf, and struggled to gather myself together.

"It's all right now, Bella," I murmured to her.

The wolf gave me a long look and I nodded once to indicate that I would not follow the other three. It made a snorting sound and turned to follow their path into the trees.

"All right," I muttered, more to myself than to Bella, still working on regaining my self-control. I looked over at her, staring back and forth between me and the dark forest. "Let's get back."

"But Jake –"

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid –" Her eyes were wide with distress, and glistening with the beginnings of tears.

I shook my head. "You did nothing wrong –"

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I…I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

I reached up to stroke her cheek with the backs of my fingers, trying to convey a sense of calm I hadn't yet achieved myself. "Don't worry," I told her simply, unable to think of much else to say about the incident, given my knowledge that Jacob had been completely right. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

She looked doubtful, shaking her head. She took a deep breath and clenched her fists, as if trying to get herself back under control as well. "Give me two seconds."

After about five seconds, she smoothed the front of her wedding gown with her palms. "My dress?"

I smiled wryly. Of course, she looked as magnificent as she had before. "You look fine. Not a hair out of place."

Two more deep breaths. "Okay. Let's go."

I wrapped my arms around her and carefully led her back to the dance floor, where I spun her once and resumed our dance as though it had never been interrupted. A quick scan of the minds of the guests told me that no one other than my family had noticed our absence, or anything resembling a conflagration. _Okay, bro?_ Emmett thought, frowning slightly in our direction. I gave a quick nod, and he and Jasper, still poised at the edge of the dance floor, started to relax.

I turned my attention back to Bella. Although her heart had been pounding, it was gradually settling back to its normal rhythm. "Are you –"

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, before I could finish the question. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

Of course, she would blame herself. She was the least culpable of any of us. "Nothing is wrong with _you_," I told her. It was me. Jacob, too, but mostly me. While it was really none of his business, I was the one who knew better than to have agreed to what I had with Bella. And she would be the one to suffer the consequences. It was beyond tolerance.

"It's over. Let's not think of it again tonight," she said, clearly trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince me.

But it would be difficult _not_ to think of it again tonight. Tonight was our wedding night. While it would take us a day's travel to get to Isle Esme, the moment she expected me to uphold my end of our deal was fast approaching.

"Edward?"

The images that had gone through Jacob's mind earlier flashed back through mine: Bella and me together, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing…then Bella bruised, broken bones…

I squeezed my eyes shut against the mental picture and leaned my forehead to rest against hers. "Jacob is right," I said softly. "What _am_ I thinking?"

"He is not," she replied instantly. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

No, that was a better description for Bella. She was too optimistic to understand what she had asked of me, of the _consequences_…Because I had gotten over my all-encompassing thirst for her blood and she had no understanding of exactly how hard that had been, what it had taken and what it still took, every single day…she thought I was exaggerating the difficulties. "I _should_ let him kill me for even thinking…" I muttered to myself under my breath.

"Stop it!" she stated firmly, grabbing my face between her palms. When I opened my eyes, she was staring back at me. "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

That _was_ what I was thinking of. But I didn't want to sour this day, of all days. She was right that now was not the time or the place. I sighed. "Yes."

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

I looked back at her for a moment, wishing, as always, that I could read her thoughts, if only for a moment. She didn't understand what she had asked; she _couldn't_ understand. Yet her expression was so earnest, pleading with me with her eyes. I couldn't let Jacob Black and my own second thoughts ruin this day for her. For _us_. Perhaps it was selfish of me yet again, but I had waited too long.

"I promise," I finally replied. I would uphold that promise, too.

"Thank you," she relaxed again and smiled, settling back into our dance. "Edward, I'm not afraid."

I knew from her eyes that she was telling the truth, but part of me wished that she had a little more fear…a more realistic sense of the situation. But perhaps I was filled with enough fear for us both. "I am," I whispered.

"Don't be." Her voice was firm again. "By the way, I love you."

I knew from her eyes that she was telling the truth about this, too, as incomprehensible as it still seemed so much of the time. "That's why we're here."

_Enough seriousness, for heaven's sake…_I got from Emmett as he strode up to cut in. He and Jasper must have been watching us, because I also felt one of those waves of calm settle over us. I glanced over Bella's shoulder to see Jasper a few feet away. He grinned and winked. Not for the first time, I wished I had a bottle of that calm to take with me to the island. Or a case of such bottles.

"You're monopolizing the bride," Emmett joked. "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and relinquished her hand to my brother. I saw that Alice had joined Jasper, and didn't mind the idea of a few minutes with them to see if I could reclaim my earlier good mood.

Alice smiled tentatively when I approached, reaching out to take both my hands. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to see ahead and warn you that that _dog_ was coming, Edward. It's so frustrating not to know what the wolves up to, I can't even begin to tell you."

"It's okay, Alice. It's been dealt with." I shrugged, but doubted that my attempt at nonchalance had been convincing.

"Well, thank you for not ruining my party by starting a war."

"Don't worry, I wasn't inclined to ruin the party, either."

I could feel Jasper doing his best to lift my spirits and alleviate my anxiety, but it was probably more difficult than usual. Alice sensed the effort, and looked from his face to mine with a frown. _Edward…I know what you're worried about…You know I didn't want to say anything about it, and I still don't…But for what it's worth…I don't see anything __bad__ happening on your honeymoon…Nothing but joy. You know what I mean?_

I looked at her for a moment, grateful for her tact and for her assurance. Making an effort to take her words to heart – she was almost never wrong – I nodded. Nevertheless, I was glad for the distraction when Carmen and Eleazar ambled towards us for a chat.

It was another hour or so before I was able to extricate myself from dancing and talking with more of our guests and claim my bride once again. Thankfully, I felt much better by then and had managed to focus on the well-wishes, which re-fortified my earlier sense of overwhelming happiness. That was the important part, I told myself firmly. The rest we would deal with.

I had even found a way to reassure myself that Alice was right, nothing terrible would happen. Since the only thing I had promised Bella was that we would _try_, I could call a halt at any time I felt things were getting too dangerous. I hadn't killed her when the urge had been overwhelming so many months ago; I wouldn't hurt her this way, either.

I _wouldn't_.

I clutched Bella to my chest tightly as we danced, relaxing into the feel of her soft body in my arms.

"I could get used to this," she murmured happily as her footsteps followed my lead. It was obvious that she had also managed to shake off the earlier unfortunate incident.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so bad – with you. But I was thinking more of this." She pressed herself against me even more closely, filling me with a sense of delightful warmth. "Of never having to let you go."

My heart skipped lightly, joyously. She was _mine_, and she was as happy about that as I was.

"Never," I agreed. Suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss her, I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers softly, then back again. She exhaled, her sweet scent filling my nostrils. I kissed her again, gently, slow but building in intensity as we both got lost in a long, wonderful moment.

Despite the fact that other couples were dancing around us, I had managed to tune them out and had kind of forgotten that we were still in the middle of the dance floor until I heard both Alice's thoughts and voice at the same time, somewhere near my elbow: _Oh, for…Can't that wait? _"Bella! It's time!"

Bella's hands were around my neck, and had dampened somewhat as she had sunk into this kiss. Her heart had picked up speed again, not with anxiety this time, but with what I knew was the force of her desire. I was rather enjoying the feel of it pounding against my own chest, and spurred it on by kissing her harder. Every increase in intensity was met with an increase in her heart rate.

_Edward!_ "Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice grumbled. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

At the moment, neither of us cared. We could stay right here in Forks, in this exact spot.

I pulled away from Bella a fraction of an inch. "Go away, Alice," I muttered, then resumed the kiss exactly where I had left off.

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded.

When we continued to ignore her, Alice started to play dirty. _Oh, no you don't, Edward Cullen. I worked too hard on this. _ "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will," she said in a low, irritated voice.

The one thing that would get my attention, and she knew it. She knew how much I wanted to keep it a surprise. I turned from Bella slowly to glare at Alice. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted," she retorted, and snatched Bella's hand from its place at my neck. "Come with me, Bella."

To my amusement, Bella pulled back, still clinging to me with her other hand. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me again, but wasn't strong enough to hold on when Alice gave her an impatient tug, dragging her toward the house. She looked back at me wistfully as the guests around us, having noticed the scene, chuckled with amusement.

"She has more fire in her than I gave her credit for," Emmett teased. He and Rosalie had been dancing right next to us. I hadn't noticed they were there. "I wasn't sure, since she's been fighting you off all this time. Or maybe you were fighting her off?"

"Emmett, behave," Rosalie scolded, mimicking Esme. She rolled her eyes at me. "You may want to do something about the lipstick on your face, Edward."

With a half-smile, I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket, and tried to get the lipstick off as I left the dance floor. I supposed it was a good thing Alice had used a light shade on Bella today.

Charlie was waiting for me off to the side. He had the remnants of a glass of champagne in his hand and a contemplative expression on his face. I knew immediately what he wanted to say, and braced myself to let him say it. I could tell he already felt uncomfortable about it, but needed to get it off his chest.

"Quite a party your family puts on, Edward," he said gruffly, trying to work himself up to the speech he wanted to make.

"I hope you enjoyed it, sir."

"'Sir'? You're going to have to stop with that, now that you're my…son-in-law." He had a hard time getting the word out, but then gave me a rueful smile. "Sorry. That's going to take some getting used to. I didn't think I'd be wrapping my head around that one for at least another ten years."

"That's all right." I waited for him to continue.

"Listen…" he began, after a somewhat awkward pause. He took another swallow of champagne. "I just want to say…while I certainly thought I'd have more time before I walked my daughter down the aisle and I know I've been kind of…tough on you in the past…I know when she's happy. That's all I've ever wanted for her, and I know that she is. She's ecstatic, in fact. And that's because of you. You're a decent kid…well, _man_. Bella loves you, and I can see how much you love her. So…I wanted to welcome you to the family. I'm glad to have you. Renee's probably too busy crying, or I'm sure she'd say the same."

I knew from his thoughts how very difficult it was for Charlie to express his emotions, and appreciated his effort. While he still had his doubts – or at least, some residual concern – he meant what he had said. "Thank you, s– …Charlie. That means a lot."

"I also know you'll take care of my Bells for me. She'll always be my little girl. So I'm entrusting her to your care now. Understand?"

"Of course. You don't have to worry about that." No, that was one thing Charlie would never have to worry about. She would never be safer than when she was with me. Super-human senses and physical strength would always be handy in that regard.

"And even after you guys go away to New Hampshire…you'll make sure she visits her old man, right?"

I hesitated for a fraction of an instant. That one was a little more difficult to promise. So much would depend on how Bella handled her transformation. Charlie was yet another reason why that was so difficult to contemplate.

"Absolutely. My parents will want us to come home often, too," I finally answered.

"Okay, then." He cleared his throat and straightened his spine. I could see tears glistening in his eyes, and looked away so that he could feel comfortable that I hadn't noticed. In this light, no one but a vampire would have.

After another brief moment, I discerned that he had said everything he was going to say and that it was time for me to give him a minute alone. "Um…Sorry, Charlie, but I think I had better go change. Alice has us on a tight schedule."

"Of course, of course…" he harrumphed. "You go on. I'll talk to you when you guys get back from wherever it is you're going."

I smiled and headed for the den, to ditch the tuxedo for something more appropriate for hours on an airplane.

I had barely finished when I got Alice's signal that it was time to go retrieve Bella for our departure._ We're coming back down, Edward_. My appointed place was at the bottom of the staircase, where someone had already had our guests come in to gather and see us off.

When she appeared, Bella once again took my breath away.

Alice had chosen perfectly, of course: a silk jersey wrap dress in the deep blue that best set off Bella's colouring. Her hair had been let loose from its pins, and now hung in gentle waves over her shoulders. Her rapturous smile made her eyes sparkle. Renee had an arm around her and Alice held one of her hands, but Bella scarcely seemed to notice that she was once again descending the treacherous stairs in front of a crowd.

She reached for my hand as soon as she got to the bottom tread, but her eyes were scanning the crowd, searching. "Dad?"

I cast my mind out through the people and quickly found him at the back of the throng. "Over here." I led her in his direction, where he stood near the rear wall, behind everyone else. His eyes were still glistening, and now looked a little red around the rims. I waited as they said their goodbyes, and had to catch myself to keep from nodding an assurance when he shot a final thought in my direction: _He better keep her happy, and keep her safe._

The crowd parted to let us through to the front door. I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist. "Are you ready?"

"I am," she replied simply, confidently.

We paused for effect on the threshold while I kissed her once again for the benefit of the crowd. Applause and a shower of rice followed us to the car, Emmett doing his best to make sure as much of it as possible bounced off my head. He was satisfying himself with that rather than mentally teasing me about the wedding night. Thankfully, he knew that I had enough to fret about in that regard.

Once Bella was in her seat, I got in the other side, shaking my head a little at what Alice and her henchmen had done to decorate my Aston Martin. The rear window was sprayed with something white to spell out, "Just Married", and the rest of the car was covered in flowers, ribbon and Prada shoes.

She leaned out the window to wave goodbye, and I took her hand as we sped away. "I love you."

She turned to smile at me, and leaned her cheek against my arm. "That's why we're here."

I kissed the top of her hair and then hit the gas, ready to celebrate with a burst of speed. The roar of the engine picked up, but it wasn't enough to drown out one last sound emanating from the forest: a long, plaintive howl.


	5. Chapter 5: Isle Esme

_A/N: This is the wedding night chapter…I thought that the original was sorely lacking in details, so I took some liberties here and expanded considerably. It's very clean, but don't read if you're the least bit prudish!_

Bella's curiosity was getting the best of her. Exactly the effect I'd been hoping for. There was no way she'd figure out where we were going – she couldn't, since she didn't even know the island existed.

"Houston?" she asked when we reached the gate in Seattle.

"Just a stop along the way," I smiled, leading her along. Despite the length of the day and all that had happened, her excitement still had her wide awake.

That didn't last long, however. She had barely settled into her comfortable seat on the airplane before she fell asleep, resting her cheek on my shoulder. She was still so deeply asleep when we landed a couple of hours later in Houston that I thought I'd have to carry her to the international terminal to catch the next flight.

I wouldn't have minded that, but thought it might look a little odd to anyone else trekking through the airport, regardless of the fact that it was now the middle of the night.

She managed to stumble along with me on her own feet, her eyes half-closed until we got to the next gate. "Rio de Janeiro?"

"Another stop," I told her, and she was too tired to ask any more questions.

She was a little more lively when we landed in Rio, having caught several more hours of sleep on the lengthy flight south. She looked around curiously as we waited for our bags and then piled into a taxi, absorbing the sights and sounds of such a huge city which she had never seen before. I had been here several times in the past myself and no longer found it all that interesting. But it was nicer than some others I had seen in my travels.

She was wide awake by the time we reached the docks on the other side of the city, despite the fact that it was again night time. I led her down the length of a line of yachts to the spot where Carlisle's island hopper was moored. It was large enough to do some sailing and sleep over night, but not as huge as many of the others that were also tied up here. Carlisle used this boat only for small excursions, not ocean seafaring.

After helping Bella aboard, I got organized for the trip out to the island, searching my memory for the list of tasks I had to undertake before setting off. I didn't do this all that often, so I was grateful for the extra vampire mental power which allowed me to remember what to do.

Besides, I was looking forward to getting the yacht to open water and releasing the throttle. It was a totally different kind of speed than I got to experience in a car, and exhilarating in a different way. It was much freer, without traffic to worry about.

Bella had been silent as she watched me, still curious but absorbed by all the new sights, sounds and smells around her. Her brow furrowed when we left the harbour and hit open ocean. I could imagine that she was trying to figure out exactly what was off the coast of Brazil…or whether we were heading straight for western Africa.

Finally, she spoke, tentatively. "Are we going much farther?"

I had been enjoying the feel of the yacht under me, racing along as I steered, and had kind of forgotten that she'd probably had just about enough travel for one day. Oh well, it wouldn't be much longer.

"About another half hour." To my amusement, her fingers were clenched around the seat cushion she sat on, as she often clutched the car seat under her when she felt I was driving too fast. I could already see the outline of the island through the blackness, however. Because of my eagerness to get there, I wasn't inclined to let up on the throttle just yet.

Before long I figured we were close enough that Bella's human eyes would also be able to make out the shape of the land mass ahead of us. "Bella, look there," I called to her, pointing.

She squinted as she tried to figure out what I was pointing at, but it slowly seemed to dawn on her, the closer we got. Her eyes widened. "Where are we?"

I grinned happily. Finally. We were here.

"This is Isle Esme."

"Isle _Esme_?" she repeated as I steered the boat toward the small dock at the north end of the island, gradually slowing the engine. I pulled up to the dock and quickly moored us in place, then cut the engine completely. The night was silent except for the occasional sound of a critter in the palm trees, and the gentle whoosh of the fronds swaying the warm breeze.

I loved it here. I had never come often enough. But perhaps if Bella enjoyed it, Esme would allow us to visit more frequently.

Actually, given its isolation, it might be a good place for us to hide out for a while as Bella adjusted to her…"renovations", as she called them.

But I didn't want to think about that part right now.

"A gift from Carlisle—Esme offered to let us borrow it," I answered her. She looked a little doubtful, and I figured she was wondering about the magnitude of such a present. But Carlisle and Esme had been married for decades, and had always had enough money to buy anything their hearts desired at any time. After a while, it got difficult to come up with a creative gift.

I tossed our suitcases onto the dock and reached out to sweep Bella up into my arms. She looked startled as I leapt out of the boat.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?"

"I'm nothing if not thorough."

After a few minutes' walk through the trees and undergrowth along the sandy path, we arrived at the house. As I had asked the local staff, the lights were on, welcoming us. I started to smile, looking forward to the light, airy atmosphere of the structure, but suddenly felt Bella's heart start to race. I glanced down at her, concerned, but her expression was unreadable. She was simply looking ahead at the house.

It was yet another of the many moments I cursed the fact that I could not know what she was thinking. Did she not like it? She hadn't even seen it yet. Or…

I had been so focused on getting here, on time to ourselves, no families, no werewolves, no bands of murderous newborn vampires, no Volturi…I hadn't allowed myself to think about the next part.

The wedding had been yesterday, but this was our wedding night.

She was nervous. Suddenly, so was I.

I said nothing, but waited for her to look at me when we got to the front door of the house. She finally lifted her eyes to mine, and I gave her a small smile before stepping over the threshold. I hoped I looked reassuring.

I carried her through the house, flipping on lights as we went so that she could see what the interior looked like. It was relatively similar in décor to our house in Forks, as Esme always favoured light colour schemes to make up for the fact that we could not roam around outside in bright daylight…at least not when humans were around.

Bella was glancing around, taking in her surroundings, but her heart rate had not leveled off. I supposed that if I had a beating heart, mine would have been doing the same, so I could not fault her for it.

The last room we entered was the large, white master bedroom. Its far wall was mostly glass, and had a set of French doors which led out to the beach, where Esme had arranged deck chairs and a hammock built for two. The moon was bright and low in the sky, illuminating the waves crashing gently against the shore nearby.

I watched as Bella's eyes darted from object to object, drinking in the scene. She seemed to stop at the oversized white bed in the middle of the room.

Gently, I set her on her feet, not entirely sure what to say. I wasn't normally at a loss for words, but this situation was…unique.

"I'll…go get the luggage," I said finally, glad for a moment to gather my thoughts.

I made my way back to the front door to retrieve the bags and returned to the bedroom a little slowly. I wouldn't renege on my promise. And I _would_ do what I could to make this…wonderful for her.

Besides – if it wasn't possible, it wasn't possible, I assured myself for the thousandth time. We had only agreed to _try_.

Bella was standing near the bed when I returned, gazing at the mosquito netting which surrounded it. I stepped up behind her and noticed a little bead of perspiration on her neck. Of course, she would be hot in here…until my cold skin was against hers. If it weren't hot, my skin would give her chills as usual.

"It's a little hot here," I apologized, wiping the perspiration away with a gentle stroke of my finger. "I thought…that would be best."

"Thorough," she murmured, and I chuckled a little, hating the sound of the nerves in my own voice. I was supposed to be the strong one. I was the one made out of rock; I needed to act like one.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier."

She was feeling shy, and did not turn to face me.

We needed to ease into this.

"I was wondering," I said slowly, "if...first...maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" Again, I hated the sound of the nerves in my voice, and was determined to conquer them. I drew a deep breath. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."

It seemed to take her a moment to find her voice. "Sounds nice."

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two….It was a long journey."

She simply nodded. Her heart was still pounding.

I kissed her neck gently, and chuckled to try and ease the tension. "Don't take _too_ long, Mrs. Cullen," I teased, hoping to lighten the mood for both of us. Besides, I truly enjoyed the sound of her new name as it rolled off my tongue. For the millionth time since the wedding ceremony, I thought with satisfaction, _she's mine_. There could no longer be any doubt about it.

I brushed my lips from her neck to her shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the water."

Although I heard her heart rate increase yet again, I headed for the French doors leading from the bedroom to the beach, carelessly slipping off my shirt and dumping it on the floor as I went. It occurred to me that it was almost unfair that I had the advantage of knowing that Bella was nervous just by listening to her body react, yet she couldn't tell how I was really feeling unless I told her directly. Nevertheless, I was selfishly grateful for it at this moment. I felt almost on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.

I knew I would have a while to myself while she had her "human minute", and was glad for the time to collect my thoughts some more. Perhaps it would help to blow off a little steam.

I threw the rest of my clothes over a tree branch and stepped into the water. Even my cool skin could tell how delightfully warm it was, although it was completely dark out. I dove quickly under the surface and started to swim, hard.

Within moments I was probably about five miles from the beach, enjoying the speed of my movement despite the regret I felt when all of the sea creatures in the water scattered out of my way. Even if I hadn't been moving so quickly, I knew they would have reacted the same way. Despite the fact that Bella seemed unable to appreciate it, these animals knew when a predator was in their midst.

I turned back towards the direction of the beach and swam a little more slowly, finally allowing my mind to fully focus on what was ahead. While part of me was practically tingling with the anticipation of finally, finally being able to be with Bella as a husband and wife should be, the other part was terrified. The terror was two-pronged.

First, I'd never done this before. I really didn't have much of an idea what to do or how to act, other than what I'd read or seen in films...or picked out of the minds of others. I hoped not to be too clumsy about it.

But second, I was desperately afraid that this time, I would lose control. I had no idea how my body would react in this situation, and that unknown was more frightening to me than the entire Volturi army. I would have to be so very, very careful.

I reflected back on the conversation I had had about the subject with Carlisle a few weeks before the wedding. Although I had found it rather embarrassing to have to do that at my age, I couldn't imagine who else might have experience even remotely similar to what I was facing. I had hoped that his centuries as a physician tending to human bodies might give him some insight.

He had frowned slightly when I explained the compromise I'd made with Bella. I knew what he was thinking, but he had said it out loud anyway. "I really don't know that that's wise, Edward. It won't be very long before she's changed, can't you both just…?" he trailed off, but I knew that the last word of his sentence was _wait_.

"I tried to tell her how dangerous it could be for her, Carlisle. I tried to talk her into waiting. I've explained it dozens of times already. But she's absolutely convinced that I won't hurt her." I didn't add the rest of my thought, which was, _Or at least she seems to think that even if I do hurt her to some degree, it will be worth it._ It was a thought I could barely tolerate crossing my mind.

I had sighed. "But most of all, it's the only thing she wants before…she's no longer human. The only experience she cares about having before she's changed. She's too concerned that she just won't feel quite the same with a different body."

_I can certainly understand that,_ I had heard Carlisle think, although he said nothing. He'd been 23 when he was changed, but in his time, like mine, it had been common for people to wait for sex until after they were married. He had not been married when the old vampire had bitten him that fateful evening, centuries ago. So it was a human experience he himself had missed.

The wistfulness behind his thought had thrown me off guard, as it gave me a momentary insight into how Bella must be feeling and thinking about this issue. I still didn't necessarily like it, but I had had something more of an appreciation for her point of view in that instant.

"I don't think there's much I can tell you that you don't already know," Carlisle had said out loud. "Human bodies are fragile compared to ours. You will simply have to be extremely careful, and extremely focused." He had hesitated, but looked at me with confidence in his eyes. "However, if anyone can do it, I know that you can. Look how far you've come already. It's been more than I ever thought any of our kind were capable of."

I knew he meant it and I had appreciated the thought, but it still didn't allay my concerns.

"Can you tell me what to expect…for myself?" I had asked, thinking that if I were able to blush, my entire body would be scarlet. It worsened when I had picked up flickers of feelings, both emotional and physical, from Carlisle's mind as he thought of the act, and of Esme. I had forced myself tune out of his mind to give them privacy, and save myself from the embarrassment.

"It's a very great pleasure, son. Very great. Very intense and very consuming. That's why you will have to be so careful to keep your focus and your control. It's one of the few things that seems to change us completely." He paused thoughtfully. "Although in your case, it would appear that finding Bella at all after all these years has already changed you completely."

I had nodded in agreement. He couldn't even know how true his statement was.

"I have the utmost confidence in you, Edward," he had said simply. I could tell he didn't know what else to say.

I had nodded again. "Thank you." I hadn't been sure what else I could say, either.

I could tell from the light above the surface of the water that I was back near the beach once again. When I stood, the water was about waist-deep. I wiped the droplets off my face with both hands, ran my fingers through my hair to straighten it a little, and then shook my head, a little like a dog coming in from the rain. The swim had helped, but I still needed to focus and settle down some more.

I turned my back to the house and stared out over the ocean, thinking back as well to the discussion on the subject I had with my brothers on the evening of my "bachelor party". I reminded myself of what they had said…comparable to drinking human blood. The comparison was a bit grisly now that I thought about it again, but at least it gave me an idea I could relate to…

I was startled out of my reverie when I heard the French door open behind me, and Bella's footsteps on the sand. There was no hesitation in her step.

I didn't need it, but took a deep breath anyway as I listened to her approach, softly across the sand. I was tempted to turn and watch her, but thought that it might make her self-conscious – especially when I heard her carefully shrug out of whatever she was wearing and place it on the tree branch where I'd left my clothes. I could hear the waves gently lap against her skin as she made her way through the water toward where I stood.

The panic rose in me once again, but I did my best to force it away. I wanted this to be perfect for her.

She was beside me in another moment, settling her hand over mine where I rested it on top of the water. The warmth of the water had warmed my skin, made it almost the same temperature as hers. I had hoped for that effect.

Bella gazed up at the moon quietly. "Beautiful…" she breathed.

I took another deep breath, letting her scent permeate through my body. It was so wonderful, so comforting. The image of her walking carefully down the aisle toward me, her face glowing as she clutched her father's arm, filled my mind. _She_ was the incarnation of beauty to me.

"It's all right…" I murmured, turning to face her. "But I wouldn't use the word _beautiful_. Not with you standing here in comparison."

She smiled and placed her right hand on my bare chest, over the spot where my heart used to beat. As always when she touched me, I half-expected my heart to start beating once again. For once, in the moonlight, our skin matched and she looked as pale as I did.

I shivered slightly, and felt my breath catch a little. "I promised we would _try_," I whispered. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She nodded, looking up at me for a moment. I could hear that her heart beat differently now. Not nervously, as it had before. Now it sounded more like it did all those times we'd laid together in her small bed at home, kissing until things reached the point I had to be the one to pull back and stop.

She rested her cheek against my chest.

"Don't be afraid," she said after a moment. "We belong together."

The irony of the fact that it was _she_ reassuring _me_ was not lost on me, but only in the background of my thoughts. As I looked down at her, her face serene but full of love in a way that shook me to my core, I could feel the panic gradually subside. I wrapped my arms around her. She was mine. This was our moment. I was going to make it perfect for us both.

"Forever," I agreed, and took her hand to lead her into slightly deeper water.

This would be the first time all of our skin was exposed and in contact, and I hoped the warmth of the water would continue to defray any chill for her.

She was the first to move, to press her body against mine tightly in the water, her arms around my back. Her face was buried in my chest, kissing me there in a way that sent a shiver pulsing through me. I breathed in the scent of her hair deeply, pleased that the burn in my throat was dull…background noise, really, suppressed by the sudden wave of desire that almost made me throw her over my shoulder and dash for the house.

So many months I'd suppressed that desire, I carefully let myself begin to surrender to it now.

I placed my hands on either side of her face and turned it up so that I could press my cool lips to her warm ones, cautiously taking in the taste of her as we kissed. She was pressing the tips of her fingers into my back, holding me against her as tightly as her human strength would allow.

I heard myself make a low, guttural moan when one of her hands traced down from my back and over my waist to grip me to her as she pressed her pelvis against mine. I removed a hand from her face and slid it down her neck, her arm, over her collar bone and gently down over her torso. It was her turn to make an animalistic sort of sound, and her tongue was suddenly in my mouth.

I pulled away a fraction of an inch. She was forgetting already that she needed to be careful with my sharp teeth. "Bella," I breathed, and ducked to kiss her gently under her left ear, hoping to dial back the intensity for a moment.

If I hadn't known that she was as inexperienced as I was, I might have been more shocked and wondered what she knew that I didn't when her hand slid around from my back to the front, reaching down between us. A breath caught roughly in my throat when she touched me, and I reached for her wrist, bringing her hand back up to my chest. "Slowly," I murmured in her ear, then pressed my lips in soft kisses down the side of her neck. "I know it's hard to remember, but we have be slow, very slow, so that I don't hurt you."

She exhaled in an impatient sort of way, as if she wanted to argue with me. Thankfully, she didn't, and instead closed her eyes, giving herself over to my lips gently moving over her neck and throat, back up the other side to her other ear. Taking advantage of the warmth of the water, I allowed my hands to explore her body, tracing over all of the skin that had always been hidden before. Though I tried to maintain the lightest touch possible, the sensation under my fingertips made my head swim. She was so smooth, so soft and delicate. I wanted to be able to run my lips over those same expanses of soft skin.

Bending slightly to again press my mouth to hers, I scooped her up into my arms and turned for the house, grabbing a towel from the tree branch where my clothes were as we passed it on the beach. Some small part of my brain recognized that that must have been what she had been "wearing" earlier.

Back in the bedroom but without breaking off our kiss, I set Bella back on her feet next to the large white bed, and gently used the towel to dry us both off a little. Now that we were no longer amongst the waves and the sound of the water slapping against the sand on the beach, I could hear that her heart was pounding again, as if she were running a marathon. Her hands were shaky as she slid them over my shoulders to wrap her arms around my neck. As always, I was positively thrilled to have elicited such responses from her body, and concentrated on the heavy beating of her heart as I continued to kiss her.

After a few moments, she was the one to break the kiss. She took a slight step backward and edged herself down onto the bed, taking my hand to indicate that she wanted to pull me after her. She couldn't have done it, of course, if I weren't willing…but of course I was. She settled down on her back on the sheets and I laid next to her on my side, bending over her to kiss her again. Both of her hands knotted in my hair as she held my face to hers.

Eventually, I carefully extricated myself from her grasp, and set to tracing light kisses back down her neck and throat, over a shoulder, down her arm to her wrist. I held her wrist to my nose and breathed deeply once again. The scent was as intoxicating as ever, but the burn in my throat remained part of the background. Too much was happening with the rest of my body to pay much attention to it.

Bella's hands were on my shoulders, and she seemed to be trying to pull me back up to kiss her mouth again. I ignored her, however, and continued to explore her skin with kisses. I had another shoulder to visit, another arm, another wrist…

Her back arched slightly when I moved over to press my lips to her stomach, just above her belly button. She reached for my shoulders again to pull me up, and I went this time – but slowly, using just the tip of my tongue to trace up her abdomen and over her sternum, ending up back at her mouth. She kissed me almost frantically, but at least remembered this time to keep her tongue away from my teeth.

It would have been all too easy right then to simply throw myself into it and give in completely to what my body wanted to do, especially since Bella didn't seem to be able to stop herself from trying to pull at me and hurry things up. Her breathing was more ragged than I'd ever heard it before, and her heart continued to pound.

To be fair, I knew my breathing wasn't coming much more smoothly than hers, and it was only the complete lack of a heartbeat that kept mine from pounding just as hard.

Nevertheless, I was somehow able to keep my mind at least somewhat clear and in the moment. Undoubtedly, it was my all-encompassing fear of hurting my new bride, stronger than everything else, that allowed me to do it. Even still, as the long, lovely moments passed and we kissed and explored each other's skin with our hands, there were a few times I had to pause to collect myself, re-center and re-focus. The new sensations and instincts that were flooding through me were continually threatening to take me over.

Eventually I found myself hovering over Bella as she lay on her back, arms around my neck, one of her legs hitched over mine. Her lovely face was flushed with excitement and desire, but she had a calmness about her as she looked up at me. "Try," she murmured softly, adding, "I love you."

I knew what she meant and was unable to find my voice to reply. At this moment, I wanted nothing more than this, to make love to my beautiful wife. I swallowed and settled down closer to her body.

A few unfortunate but thankfully brief moments of clumsiness followed, but then we suddenly fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle. A remote part of my brain registered that she had gasped slightly.

I have no words to describe the sensation.

I was utterly light-headed as we moved together, not kissing and certainly not speaking, but looking at each other intently. I have no idea what the expression on my face was, but hers was a mixture of surprise and…ecstasy. It was the only word I could think of to describe it. I was completely lost in it for a long moment, clutching her to me with my hands on her upper arms. Like scrabbling out of quicksand, I somehow forced myself to surface from the ocean of physical pleasure and stop.

I saw Bella's eyes widen when I hesitated. I reached up to place my palm against her cheek, knowing what she was thinking. "I'm not quitting, love…" I managed to tell her. "I just…I just have to calm down a little."

She smiled, apparently quite pleased that she was causing me to react this way. She waited patiently for me to collect myself for a few seconds, but then arched up against me, drawing me deeper and practically knocking me senseless. She had no idea how every millimeter of my body was reacting. Something like a low growl rose up from deep in my throat and I reached down to grasp her thigh and pull it up more tightly over my own. I realized that I may have done so a little more roughly than I might have liked, but her face reflected nothing but eagerness. Her mouth suddenly clamped over mine in another frantic kiss. When she broke away long moments later, it was only to flop back against the mattress, breathless but still clutching me to her as tightly as she could.

I had tasted Bella's blood before, but it was nothing at all compared to this.

I lost all sense of time and would probably have lost all sense of space if I hadn't been clinging so carefully to the vestiges of my self-control. Despite the effort, I still found that there were the briefest instances where I knew I lost focus. The sensations were simply too much. And unfortunately, if she had had any to begin with, I knew that my bride had definitely lost any focus of her own. If I slowed or showed any sign of pausing, she only clutched me tighter, urging me on with her body.

After some time, I was past the point of pausing, or being able to slow. I could feel a shudder pass through me from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head, and my mind seemed to go completely blank for a long, utterly blissful moment. Despite not needing to breathe, I was panting, and buried my face in one of the pillows to avoid making what I feared would be a truly bestial sound. I heard fabric tearing and then felt something soft floating around my head. From the corner of one eye, I could see that Bella's neck was craned backward, her throat elongated and exposed above my shoulder, and I was vaguely conscious of whiteness surrounding her. Her eyes were squeezed shut but her mouth was open, making some kind of sound of her own that I couldn't concentrate enough on to hear. The shuddering was now passing through me in waves.

It seemed to take a while for me to regain focus after that, but when I did, I was immediately conscious that I appeared to have let too much of my weight press onto Bella. Her breath was coming in shallow gasps. Assuming I was crushing the air out of her lungs, I pulled back suddenly, but felt her arms tighten around my neck. "No…" she managed to squeak out in a rough voice. She didn't want me to move.

"I'm not going anywhere," I managed to reply, in an equally rough and shaky voice. However, I shifted so as to support more of my own weight again. When Bella seemed to be breathing a little more easily, I couldn't resist pressing my mouth to hers in another long kiss. It was slower now, as we both relaxed all over.

Given how I could run for hundreds of miles without a second thought, I should not have been surprised to find that I was far from exhausted, but was instead ready for more. I hadn't had enough of her and her body, or any of these new, overwhelming but utterly blissful sensations.

Fortunately, she appeared to feel the same way. It didn't take long for her kisses to increase in urgency once again as she clutched herself against me. It was so nice not to have to step on the brakes as I had so many times in the past, but could instead surrender to the moment as she did. Nevertheless, I had to be careful not to let her eagerness destroy my concentration completely. Some corner of my mind was already concerned that I wasn't paying close enough attention, but Bella showed no sign whatsoever of any moment being anything less than perfect.

I was finally starting to understand exactly what it was that caused my family members to disappear into their rooms most evenings and not emerge again until sunrise, even though they had no need of sleep.

The time seemed both wonderfully long and frustratingly short, but we eventually reached another high, followed by another blissful lull. My body was still shuddering all over, but I kept kissing her, wondering now how my family ever forced themselves to emerge from their rooms at all. However, I could sense the exhaustion caused by the tension and the long trip starting to settle through Bella. She was beginning to relax into sleep.

Suppressing a sigh, I pulled away from her gently, and this time she let me go. I slipped over to her left side and she turned, burying her face into my chest and flopping an arm over my waist. I contented myself with pressing my lips into her hair, kissing her scalp and breathing deeply of the scent of her hair as I felt her slide into sleep in my arms.

Gradually, I was able to gather my wits about me enough to return to a coherent pattern of thought. I couldn't recall my body ever feeling so thoroughly relaxed, so..._glorious_. Not even after the most satisfying of hunts. Although she was now deeply asleep, I couldn't resist continuing to give Bella the odd squeeze, or planting more kisses in her hair.

But in addition to the wonderful way the physical sensations made my entire body feel, I was exultant. The realization -- and the relief -- that we had managed to do this without incident, without _injury_, coursed through me. My wife was still in one piece, safe in my arms, and content enough to sleep soundly beside me.

I noticed the soft whiteness surrounding us both, vaguely remembering it from before, and now realized what it was. I chuckled to myself. Oops. Apparently I had shredded a couple of the feather pillows. The white down had already spread out over most of the bed, and some had stuck into Bella's long, dark hair. I guessed I'd have to replace those for Esme before we went home...

The hours passed quickly for me as I alternated between watching Bella sleep -- deeply, without tossing and without speaking for once -- and closing my own eyes to rest and simply enjoy the moment, the feel of her safe in my arms. I resisted the frequent urge to wake her up with kisses so we could try this again. Assuming she wanted to, we would have plenty more time for that during our stay on the island.

It wasn't until the sun started to rise that there was a wrinkle in my perfect sense of contentment.

In her sleep, Bella had turned further into me, and was now laying on my chest, her right arm thrown up over my shoulder and her left arm trailing beside her. One of my hands was absently tracing up and down her spine. In the darkness, despite my superior vision, I hadn't noticed it, but now, with the light in the room increasing, I glimpsed a dark shadow on her upper right arm.

Frowning, I leaned a little closer for a better look, wondering if I were imagining things in the pale light. Careful not to wake her, I shifted up slightly to look again, and look over the rest of her body where it was not covered by the white sheet.

I wasn't imagining things. The shadow on her arm was the beginning of a deep purple bruise. And there were others, further down her arm, on her other arm, low on her back...

It was everything I could do to keep from gasping out loud and jumping out of the bed.

_Without injury_, I had thought.

I should have known. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. I should have known it was impossible. I should have kept saying no, but I had been selfish. I had wanted it, too. As much as I had held onto the notion that this had been Bella's request -- her _demand_ -- I knew that I had wanted it just as much.

My fists clenched in anger at myself, and I pressed one tightly against my forehead in concentration so that I would keep calm and not wake her up. It would be bad enough once she woke on her own and saw what I had done to her, I couldn't rob her of the sleep she seemed to need as well.

I was overtaken by self-loathing.

I was a monster.

I had known it, and I had known it well. But I had tried to pretend I wasn't, that I could have what humans had and that there would be no consequences.

No direct consequences for me, perhaps, but there were most certainly consequences for the woman I loved. I had done what I had sworn up and down I would not do: I had hurt her. I had injured her. And as yet, I didn't even know how badly. Would she even be able to walk? How much would she hate me when she realized what I'd done?

As if in ironic answer to that question, Bella sighed softly in her sleep, nestled further into my chest, and tightened her hold on my shoulder. It didn't make me feel any better.

The next few hours were very long.

The light in the room continued to increase as the sun climbed higher over the horizon, and with each increase in the brightness, the more obvious the bruises on Bella's skin became.

I was utterly wracked by the guilt and horror. And the shame. My beautiful, fragile wife...injured...by _me_. I couldn't remember a single positive thing about the night before. The memory of every sensation had been completely overshadowed by this, the end result.

Eventually, Bella began to stir, slowly waking. She inhaled deeply and stretched without opening her eyes, although she turned her face toward the sunbeams breaking through the window. Nervously now, my hand still traced lightly up and down her back. I stopped breathing as I waited for her to speak.

Instead, she laughed.

"What's funny?" I managed to ask softly. I couldn't imagine a single thing that could possibly be amusing about this situation. But then again, she hadn't opened her eyes yet.

She blushed as her stomach growled, but she laughed once more. "You just can't escape being human for very long."

How well I knew _that_. Bella's expression was peaceful and contented, but I assumed she simply had not been awake long enough yet to feel the pain of her injuries. That would come shortly, I knew. I felt my jaw set tightly, and I stared at the ceiling. Waiting.

She raised herself on an elbow suddenly. "Edward, what is it?" she gasped a little, looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" I muttered.

She was silent, so I forced myself to look down at her, bracing for the expression of horror and disgust I was sure I would find on her face.

Instead, she looked confused. Her brow was furrowed, and she was staring back at me blankly.

Again, what I wouldn't give to be able to hear her thoughts. Instead, I had to ask. "What are you thinking?" I traced a finger gently across her forehead, hating the worried lines that had appeared there on a morning when she deserved to be filled with nothing but joy.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?" her mouth hung open, unable to finish her thought.

I felt my own brow crease. Surely she wouldn't pretend that there was nothing amiss? "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."

Now her eyebrows shot up as her eyes widened. "Hurt?" she repeated, her voice a squeak.

I waited for her to think about that, to finish waking up and realize what I had done. I felt nauseous.

She stretched slowly, flexing her muscles, unclenching and clenching her hands. She tilted her neck from side to side. She still looked…confused.

What I wouldn't have given to be able to hear her thoughts.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now," she said finally.

I snapped my eyelids shut. I couldn't stand it if she did this _again_…tried to pretend like something so serious was nothing at all. "Stop that."

"Stop _what_?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward! Don't ever say that." Her voice was a whisper.

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

I didn't open my eyes, but could tell she had sat up. I heard her gasp and braced myself again for her reaction.

"Why am I covered in feathers?"

I exhaled, exasperated. She was still avoiding the issue. Why couldn't she just be honest about it? "I bit a pillow. Or two," I muttered. "That's not what I'm talking about."

"You…bit a pillow? _Why?_"

"Look, Bella!" Impatient, I reached for her hand – careful to be as gentle as if I were handling a soap bubble – and gestured at her arm. "Look at _that_."

Finally, she seemed to see the pattern of bruises which covered her arms and torso. She poked at a mark on her forearm as though she was not sure what it was.

To further emphasize the reality of the situation, I carefully placed my hand over the bruises on one of her arms, showing her that my fingers matched the patterns.

"Oh," she breathed, looking at the marks thoughtfully now.

If I could have actually thrown up, I'm sure I would have.

"I'm…so sorry, Bella," I whispered. There weren't words available to express how horrific I felt. I barely knew what to say. "I knew better than this. I should not have—" I choked a little on the thought. "I am more sorry than I can tell you."

I threw an arm over my face and laid still, waiting for her to finally agree with me. To finally recognize that I was a monster. Just like I had been telling her from the very beginning.

She was silent, too, leaving me to imagine the thoughts that must be racing through her head.

Eventually, she brushed her fingers over my arm, then tried to pry it from my face. But I wasn't about to move.

"Edward," she said flatly. "Edward?"

I couldn't respond. I still had no words.

She sighed loudly. "_I'm_ not sorry, Edward. I'm…I can't even tell you. I'm _so_ happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f—"

Of course, I should have known. She still wouldn't admit it. She always had to take the burden for those she loved.

"Do not say the word _fine_," I growled. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am_."

"Bella…Don't."

"No. _You_ don't, Edward."

She said it with irritation, surprising me. I moved my arm from my eyes so I could see her face, scrutinizing her expression for some indication of what she was really thinking.

"Don't ruin this. I. Am. Happy." Her voice was firm.

I could only manage a whisper. "I've already ruined this."

"Cut it out," she snapped, and I clenched my teeth together.

"Ugh!" she groaned then, frustrated. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!"

Now _that_ was surprising. I looked at her with some astonishment. "That's a new one." She had certainly never said such a thing before. Usually, she was delighted that she was the one person I couldn't read so easily. "You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today."

I stared at her. "Why?"

She threw her hands up, apparently exasperated, allowing her palms to smack against my chest. "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I _was_ perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now—well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

"You _should_ be angry at me."

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I sighed at the irony. "No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That_," she snapped. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz_, Edward."

Again. Again trying to make light, trying to spare me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I heard her take a deep breath, and when she spoke again, she seemed a little calmer.

"We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then—well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She gestured at her arm. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice—"

That almost sent me over the edge. She was suggesting that I allow this to happen _again_? That I just keep right on hurting her, hoping for the best, hoping that this time wouldn't be the time that killed her? Had she known all along it would turn out this way, and risked her safety anyway?

I was starting to think that some part of her was actually insane.

"Assumed?" I interrupted, knowing I sounded as livid as I felt. "Did you _expect_ this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones—that equals a victory?"

She simply looked back at me while I ranted, saying nothing. She kept calm, and waited for me to finish. I scarcely knew how else to convey how seriously I was taking this, and how unhappy I was that she was not.

We stared at each other for a long moment. By the time she spoke again, I had managed to get myself a little more under control.

"I didn't know what to expect—but I definitely did not expect how…how…just wonderful and perfect it was." Her voice was quiet, and now she looked down at her lap. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me." I couldn't see her eyes, but her tone was…sad.

I was shocked. She thought…It was incomprehensible.

I lifted her chin with my finger, and spoke through clenched teeth, trying to retain my control. "Is that what you're worried about? That I didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

She still kept her eyes away from mine, but I could see them glistening slightly.

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I was stunned into silence. She actually thought that I hadn't enjoyed the experience. She actually thought that her human senses had picked up something more – something _better_ – than mine had.

She had no idea. The intensity of the sensations…how they had been so overwhelming it had been nearly impossible not to completely lose myself in them. How I _must_ have lost myself in them for her to be sitting here, covered in bruises. I hadn't known what to expect, but I hadn't expected the sheer bliss of the entire experience. Drinking human blood wasn't even comparable. It was nothing compared to what the previous night had been. Nothing at all.

I felt ashamed again, but now for a different reason. I had made her feel insecure. I had made her doubt how I felt about what had happened between us, after we had waited so long for it.

When she finally looked up at me again, I frowned at myself, trying to choose my words. "It seems that I have more to apologize for. I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't…" I struggled for an appropriate adjective, and came up empty. "…well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

She smiled slightly, looking hopeful. "Really? The best ever?" she asked quietly.

She had no idea. It was so adorable, so heartbreaking. I placed my hands on her cheeks and tried to explain further. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you. He had faith in me, thought – faith I didn't deserve."

She started to say something, but I stopped her by putting two fingers on her lips. I needed to get the rest of this out.

"I also asked him what _I _should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me…what with my being a vampire." I tried to smile a little. "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely." It was easier to smile at that. It was so obviously true.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." I hesitated for a fraction of a second, thinking again about that comparison. "But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more potent than _that_….I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It _was_ more. It was everything." Her eyes widened as she made the statement.

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"What does _that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

_For the same reason you always take everything upon yourself, for everyone, Bella_, I thought. _It's what you do._ "To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

I was a little startled when she suddenly grabbed my chin and leaned forward to look directly in my eyes. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. _I've_ never been so happy in all my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me….Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio" – that particular memory made me flinch, but she pressed ahead – "or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest moments I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

It was quite a speech for Bella, but I wasn't quite sure I was convinced. She had too much of a history of downplaying the danger.

Nevertheless…I didn't want to spend our honeymoon arguing with her. Despite the bruises, she truly hadn't looked upset before – whereas now she did.

I pressed a fingertip gently against the crease in her brow. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't _you_ be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

Not quite. But I still didn't want to argue any more. And I would have plenty of time to curse myself later for having agreed to any of this.

I took a deep breath and prepared to shake it off. Or at least to pretend to do so, for her sake. "You're right," I nodded. "The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She gave me a searching look, so I forced a smile.

"Whatever makes me happy?" she asked slowly. I could almost hear the gears in her mind click, trying to think of a way to turn that to her advantage. Fortunately, her stomach growled again at the same time. Saved by the growl.

I slid out of the bed quickly. "You're hungry."

Unfortunately, my movement stirred up a cloud of the ridiculous feathers. Bella glanced around herself, taking in the extent to which they'd migrated all over the bed linens.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" She shook her head, and more feathers fell from her hair.

I ran a hand through my own hair, and set a few more feathers floating through the air. "I don't know if I _decided_ to do anything last night," I muttered darkly. It occurred to me how much worse all of this would have been if I'd bit _her_ instead. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I had stopped myself from drinking her blood once previously, but that had been in a very different set of circumstances, life or death, with Carlisle right there, and not in the throes of…. Who knows what would have happened in a moment of lost control?

I shivered at the thought, but forced another smile to my face. As I did, Bella slipped out from under the sheets herself and stretched.

I couldn't suppress a gasp of horror, and had to clench my fists to keep from losing it completely.

It wasn't just her arms, or even her upper body – it was her entire body. Covered in black and blue marks. Caused by _me_. I had done that. The revulsion rose up in my throat like bile.

"Do I look that hideous?" she asked lightly, almost joking.

I had turned away so she wouldn't see my face, and now sucked in a breath instead of speaking, forcing myself to refrain from starting another argument. Her attempt at a joke in this, of all situations, nearly sent me over the edge.

She walked past me and into the bathroom, stopping before the full length mirror. Still completely naked, she gazed at her reflection for a long moment, assessing the damage. I raced over to her when I heard her groan. "Bella?"

"I'll _never_ get this all out of my hair!" she exclaimed, pointing at the feathers stuck amongst her now tousled waves. She started picking them out with a sigh.

Good grief. Of all the things to worry about. "You _would_ be worried about your hair," I muttered, but stepped up behind her to help.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

_Because there's nothing whatsoever humourous about this situation_, I thought, but said nothing. She knew how I felt.

After a few minutes trying to pluck the feathers out by hand, she shook her head. "This isn't going to work. It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned around and gave me a sly smile, wrapping her arms around me. "Do you want to help me?"

_Oh, Bella. _I couldn't even respond to that. I had _thought_ she knew how I felt. I carefully pulled away. "I'd better find some food for you," I said quietly, and headed for the kitchen. I had hoped that now, after she'd seen the very real damage for herself, she'd be more reasonable about this subject than she had been before we were married. Apparently not.

Within twenty minutes, I had breakfast ready for the human, and she had emerged from the shower, hair wet and clad in a plain white sun dress. I heard her stomach growl loudly when she joined me in the kitchen and couldn't help but smile. I loved her little human foibles. I would miss them so much.

"Here," she sat down at the small table as I set a plate in front of her. I was just as happy to be done with it. While I'd been determined to learn some cooking for her, the smell almost made me gag.

I was surprised at how vigourously she dug into the plate, barely waiting for it to stop sizzling from the frying pan. "I'm not feeding you often enough."

She swallowed a large mouthful and glanced up as I sat down across from her. "I was asleep. This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network," I smiled. It wasn't all that difficult to simply follow directions. I couldn't understand why Charlie had always had such trouble cooking for himself.

"Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place." They'd actually been a little surprised by the request, given that no one who had ever stayed here before had ever asked for groceries. Nor had there ever been any sign that anyone had ever used the kitchen. I was probably the first to have dirtied a dish. "I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I shifted my gaze across the room as I said it, not wanting to get Bella thinking about last night again any more than I wanted to think of it myself. Of course, there was nothing wrong with the memory of last night itself…if anything, it was _too_ good. But I couldn't think of it that way. Not after seeing the results this morning.

Bella smiled once she had finished eating. "Thank you," she said lightly, and leaned across the table to kiss me. It was automatic to kiss her back, but it took only a moment for me to think of the bruises and pull away.

She grimaced. "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

I knew what she meant, but reached out to stroke her cheek gently. Of course I would _touch_ her. But only in the ways that were one hundred percent sure not to hurt her.

She leaned her face into my palm but gave me a reproachful look. "You know that's not what I meant."

I paused a moment, settling back in my chair. "I know. And you're right." She was going to make me say it. Fine, then. I would. Maybe then she'd take me seriously. "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."

She opened her mouth to argue, but I ended the conversation by getting up to take her plate to the sink. This was not negotiable. I could not be the cause of another moment's pain.


	6. Chapter 6: Distractions

Bella did not make my decision easy.

To be fair, it wouldn't have been easy anyway. While there was lots to do during the day while Bella was awake, when she slept I had hours to think. Hours upon hours.

No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to keep my mind from going back to the other night, our first night here. Every kiss, every touch, every sensation…with my vampire memory, every second was as vivid as if it had happened only moments ago. Remembering but trying not to remember, wanting to act on the memories but forcing myself not to, all while my wife slept right beside me, soft and beautiful in my arms…it was enough to cause me physical pain.

Before we were married I didn't know what I was missing, so it was easier to resist it.

Now that I knew exactly what it was like, so far beyond my wildest expectations, it was much, much harder. In the darkness of the long night time hours, I couldn't keep my mind from not only the memories, but also thoughts of what we _hadn't_ done, what there still was to do, to try.

I may have been personally inexperienced, but I had still been around a long time. I had read a lot, and seen every day into the minds of others. Humans were often preoccupied by sex, even when they were doing mundane things like filling their cars with gas, or standing in line to pay at the grocery store. That fact had generally made Bella's impatient human hormones understandable, if still torturous.

But now that I knew first hand _why_ they thought so often about the things they did…my self-control hung by a thread, every single moment of every single day.

To make matters worse, on this tropical island, with the heat – and, admittedly, confined to the wardrobe Alice had packed for her – Bella dressed rather differently than she did in Forks. Airy sundresses, camisoles, tank tops, shorts…small bikinis…filmy nightgowns…The visuals did not aid my resolve. In cold, rainy Forks, where layers of long clothing were only practical, it was a much simpler thing not to get lost in gazing at her soft curves, the expanses of her pale, perfect skin.

Here, where they were so plainly revealed, they reminded me even more forcefully of our one short night together as husband and wife. And made me want to see more, touch more, kiss more…

It was only the bruises – fading now, but still more than obvious, especially in such tiny clothes – that kept me from reaching out. Each one was like a stinging slap in the face. If I felt the desire rising too strongly, all I had to do was have a good, long look at one of those bruises and it were as if I'd been thrown into an ice cold shower.

Especially the bruises that were so clearly shaped – God forgive me – like my own fingers.

On top of these things, however, which were torture enough, Bella was relentless, actively trying to persuade me to change my mind with her words _and_ her actions. If I didn't keep her on the go, she looked for excuses to snuggle against me, to touch me and kiss me, making it more and more difficult to retain my control. When that didn't work, she simply tried to talk me into it.

But I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had hurt her once. It wasn't going to happen again. If it drove us both to the edge of insanity, we were going to wait. End of story.

It added to the large pile of my regrets that my tenuous ability to rigidly cling to my resistance of her seemed to make her think it was _easy_ for me to do so. Not only did that make me worry that she would doubt herself and doubt the depths of my affection for her, it made her that much more relentless in her efforts to convince me, and careless in the way she dressed, the way she touched me.

I even thought about trying to tell her exactly how difficult it really was so that she might ease up a little. But then I worried that if she knew how close to the edge I was, she'd _really_ throw herself into her campaign to change my mind.

So I was caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place – no pun intended.

Thankfully, there really was a lot to see and do on this exquisite island. We both enjoyed the fact that we could both roam freely in the sunlight, unconcerned about the appearance of my skin. We hiked and explored, we swam, we viewed the local wildlife – at least when I was stealthy enough not to scare the creatures away before we got too close.

I kept Bella as busy as I possibly could.

I also had some good fortune in that all of the fresh air and sunlight seemed to keep her too hungry and too exhausted to argue with me much. At the end of each day, I made her large, elaborate meals and she ate everything I put in front of her, with gusto. After eating, when it was time to retire for the night, she was only able to try and debate with me and make advances toward me for a few minutes before she fell soundly asleep.

Once asleep, she stayed asleep, for longer periods than she ever had at home, when there was work and school and other obligations to attend to.

The nights were long for me as I was left only with my own tortured thoughts, wrestling between my desperate desire for something resembling a normal physical relationship with my wife and the gut-wrenching fear of hurting her again, the self-loathing caused by having done so once already. But I was nevertheless grateful in some perverse way for the hours I didn't need to concentrate so hard on keeping her distracted.

Unfortunately, Bella's determination never really flagged.

One night, about a week after we had arrived at the island, I was lying in bed waiting for her to finish her evening human moment in the bathroom. We had moved into the second-largest bedroom after the first night, since the white room was still full of feathers and the cleaning crew wasn't due to arrive until the next day. This room was darker, decorated in a deep blue with dark wood panelling. I knew Esme preferred the airy white, but I tended to like this room, and found it cozier.

Bella seemed to take longer in the bathroom than usual. When she finally emerged, I glanced up – and nearly gasped out loud.

She had taken to trying out the lingerie collection Alice had packed for her. It was uncharacteristic, but, again, it was really all there was in her suitcase to choose from. Besides, I knew that it was part of her strategy to try and entice me with the silky nightgowns, each shorter and more revealing than the last. But to her chagrin, I'm sure, I was strong enough to avoid reacting to any of them. It took some doing, but I managed.

Tonight, however, she had outdone herself.

Tonight's selection was black and lacy, more revealing yet than any of its predecessors. It included a tiny pair of black thong underwear, with a filmy, see-through nightgown of sorts over top. Every line, every curve of Bella's body was readily apparent underneath. The lace kept only the minimum to the imagination – somehow making it more alluring than if she weren't wearing anything at all. Frankly, it was outstanding.

And intolerable.

Luckily, I got my expression under control within a fraction of a second.

She was undeterred. She walked slowly toward the bed, giving me time to absorb the sight, then turned around so I could see it from every angle. "What do you think?"

I found my voice quickly, though I had to clear my throat to do it. I fought to make my tone casual. "You look beautiful. You always do."

Her nose crinkled slightly in obvious irritation. "Thanks," she muttered, climbing into bed beside me. I reached out to pull her close as I had every night, so that my skin would keep her cool enough to sleep.

When she was settled, she stifled a yawn but spoke anyway. "I'll make you a deal."

I knew where this was going. She'd tried pleading and even grousing at me the last few days. This was obviously the next arrow in her quiver. "I will not make any deals with you." Look where our _last_ deal had gotten us.

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"It doesn't matter."

I heard her sigh. "Dang it. And I really wanted…Oh well."

I rolled my eyes as she let her voice trail off, clearly trying to get me to take the bait. I waited, expecting her to finish her thought. I hated it, but she had managed to pique my curiosity. She so seldom said she _wanted_ anything. I always had to make myself crazy trying to get her to accept something from me, even the tiniest of trinkets.

She closed her eyes and yawned.

Damn it. She was going to fall asleep and not tell me. She so seldom wanted anything. I was dying to know what on earth it was, even if it led to another impossible debate about how we were not having sex again until she was changed.

She continued to let me wait.

_Damn it._ Dangerous creature…

I clenched my teeth and asked the question. "All right. What is it you want?"

I could have sworn she was fighting back a smile.

"Well, I was thinking…" she began, as if she hadn't already planned out this entire conversation. No wonder she'd been so long in the bathroom tonight. "I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me. Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure , it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still…eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

If I'd had blood in my veins, my blood pressure would surely have shot through the roof. This was the most shamelessly devious thing she'd tried yet. She was turning my own words against me, offering the one thing – the _one_ thing other than our marriage itself – that she knew I wanted more than anything else in the world. More human time.

A long moment passed as I struggled to get my anger under control. I didn't want to fight with her on our honeymoon. I didn't. But this…

"You would wait," I finally said in a low voice. "You would stay human."

She said nothing, clearly waiting for me to cave in instantaneously.

"Why are you _doing_ this to me?" I growled suddenly through still-clenched teeth. "Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed the hem of the lacy nightgown she wore and had to restrain myself from tearing it to pieces. She was determined to torture me to death. It was too much. It was bordering on cruel.

With considerable effort, I reminded myself that she didn't know how difficult the past week had been for me. I had very carefully kept it hidden so she wouldn't try and use it to her advantage. She was simply…desperate. For _me_. My bride simply wanted to enjoy the benefits of being married. To _me_.

It was hard to stay angry with that realization in front of me. I allowed my hand to relax and let go of the scant fabric. Once again marshalling my self-control, I sighed. "It doesn't matter. I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college."

"No, you don't. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do_ want to go," she insisted. "Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want—I want to be human a little while longer."

Now that was ridiculous. I knew she wanted to go to college about as much as she wanted to be bathed in fire ants, but to try and say she suddenly wanted to stay human…

I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily, once again back to digging for my last shreds of patience. "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but…well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before."

"What's that?" As if I didn't know the answer.

"Guess," she said, pulling herself up on one elbow so she could lean over to kiss me. Of course.

As always, I kissed her back…gently, chastely. I didn't want to hurt her by rejecting her entirely, but she wasn't going to get her own way. Not on this.

After a brief moment, I pulled her away and held her to my bare chest. I had to give her an 'A' for effort this time.

"You are _so_ human, Bella." I chuckled. "Ruled by your hormones."

"That's the whole point, Edward," she retorted. "I _like_ this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me."

She was trying to sound convincing, but couldn't stifle her yawn. I smiled at the fact that her very humanness was going to foil her attempt to stay awake and convince me how much she was enjoying her humanness.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." I started to hum her lullaby, hoping that would soothe her a little.

Instead, she grumbled. "I wonder why I'm so tired. That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything."

I chuckled, but continued humming, admitting nothing.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better," she grumbled some more.

I hesitated, surprised. As far as I had been able to tell, she'd been sleeping more soundly than she ever had in the entire time I'd known her. She wasn't even talking as she usually did. "You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma."

She frowned slightly. "I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

That one really surprised me. "You've been having nightmares?" I looked at her with concern, reading her face to see if this was another tactic of some kind.

"Vivid ones." She appeared to be telling the truth. "They make me so tired." She yawned, as if punctuating the point. "I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night."

"What are they about?"

"Different things—but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?"

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

_Scarier?_ I thought. It was intolerable to hear that she felt the least bit scared here, in my arms, the safest place in the world for her. "What is frightening you?"

She shuddered. "Mostly…"

"Mostly?"

She hesitated slightly, apparently not wanting to say it. Finally, she whispered: "The Volturi."

Ugh. That. _Them_.

I clutched her carefully, but more tightly to my chest. At least it wasn't something we couldn't deal with. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason." I hoped my voice was reassuring, but she looked unconvinced. "What can I do to help?"

She relaxed her shoulders, which she had been holding tensely against me. "They're just dreams, Edward." Trying to be strong for me.

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So…colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening—I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright_ here."

We could fix that easily enough. "Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?" She seemed anxious at the thought of leaving.

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella."

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I sighed heavily and started to hum her lullaby again. We weren't going back to _that_ silliness tonight.

Fortunately, she fell asleep before she could ask me for a second time.

* * *

I spent the next hour or so mulling over the fact that Bella had been dreaming about the Volturi. I loathed the fact that they had caused her even the briefest moment of unease, much less that they permeated her subconscious. I loathed the fact that they had power over any of us at all.

But that was the reality of it. If I were ever going to find a shred of peace in this existence, I was going to have to learn to stop flagellating myself for things so far beyond my control. You would think I'd have learned the skill of acceptance over the past ninety years.

Things really would be so much simpler for us after Bella became a vampire. The Volturi would pose no threat to her any longer. She wouldn't have nightmares about them – she wouldn't need to sleep in the first place.

And then, of course, there was the fact that we would finally be equals in strength and ability. Our bodies would be the same, with everything that would mean for our relationship.

Yet I would miss her humanity _so much_. I buried my nose in her dark hair, breathing deeply of her sweet, human scent and enjoying every millisecond, despite the burn in my throat that inevitably followed.

Of course, her scent made me think of other things, and I glanced rather helplessly down at her, asleep in my arms. Her right leg was hitched up over mine, and her skin glowed tantalizingly in the moonlight. She had kicked off the blanket some time before, so I was left with the sight of the lines of her slender body under the flimsy black lace. At least once she was changed, we wouldn't find ourselves in _this_ situation again. Thank God.

It was terribly selfish, but in that sense, I really did look forward to the time I wouldn't have to be so paralyzed by the fear of breaking her in half. I thought of Emmett and Rosalie and their earliest years together…some of the things that I couldn't help but have heard coming from their room at times they hadn't lived separately in a house of their own. I wouldn't mind being able to smash some furniture with _my_ wife.

The thought brought a smile to my face as I considered the possibilities.

So…many…possibilities.

It was dark, the night was long, I had been good the past week…Without really deciding to do so, I permitted my mind to wander down that road for a while. Even the idea of kissing Bella without restraint, not worrying about my teeth or my venom…it left me a little light-headed. Warm, even. There were so many ways I wanted to make love to her…

I hadn't realized I was doing it, but as my mind raced along this path, vividly remembering the other night and turning it into visions of the future, I was gently tracing my hand up and down Bella's back, over the fabric of her nightgown. When she suddenly moved, gasping awake, it startled the hell out of me.

Quickly gathering my wits, I shook her a little, hoping to make her realize where she was. "Bella? Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Oh!" She gasped again and sat up. All of a sudden, she was in tears.

Another nightmare! "Bella! What's wrong?" I tried to brush the tears from her cheeks, but as I did so fresh ones took their place.

"It was only a dream," she murmured to herself, but her voice broke.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I tried rocking her back and forth in my arms but was finding it difficult to be very soothing. I had been taken completely off guard, and was still half back in my own mental world. "Did you have another nightmare?" I asked. "It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare," she replied, swiping at her eyes impatiently. "It was a _good_ dream," she added, but her voice broke into a sob once again.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up!" she wailed, and threw her arms around my neck as she sobbed against me.

I laughed a little, but not because it was funny. It was odd. She was upset by her dream somehow, yet sad that she had woken. "Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths." I wasn't quite sure what else to say.

"It was so real! I _wanted_ it to be real!"

I couldn't imagine what on earth she was talking about. "Tell me about it. Maybe that will help."

"We were on the beach…" she began, then trailed off to look at me, studying my face in the darkness.

"And?"

She blinked against the tears in her eyes, still staring at me. "Oh, Edward…"

Her voice was agonized. I had no idea what in her head had caused this reaction, but I wanted desperately to stop it. She sounded like her heart was breaking. "Tell me, Bella!" I hoped that if she explained, there would be something, anything I could do.

Instead of answering, in a flash she had thrown her arms back around my neck and pressed her mouth to mine, kissing me feverishly. Once again I was taken off guard, this time by the sheer intensity of it. I couldn't help kissing her back, but it took only a moment for me to recognize that it was _too_ intense. Over the line.

Gently, I pried her away. "No, Bella." I eyed her carefully, trying to figure out what had gotten into her.

As quickly as she had thrown her arms around me she dropped them, her hands falling into her lap. A fresh round of tears spilled down her cheeks and she gasped another sob. "I'm s-s-s-orry…" she stuttered.

Oh, God. Now I had made her _cry_ by saying no. I couldn't stand it. After the disaster following her eighteenth birthday, I had sworn up and down I would never make her cry again, no matter what I had to do. Yet here we were.

I clutched her to my chest in horror and desperation. I had made her _cry_ over this.

My voice was a moan of anguish. "I can't, Bella, I can't!" I couldn't let her cry, but I couldn't give her what she wanted, either. I could feel my dead heart shattering in my chest.

"Please. Please, Edward?" she pleaded, her face buried in my skin.

And now she was pleading with me. Pleading with me to do something to stop her tears.

Something in me snapped. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand any of it, not for a moment longer.

With a low groan, I pulled her face back up to mine and pressed my lips to hers.

Perhaps sensing the long-awaited victory, Bella once again threw her arms around my neck, grasping her fingers together in an attempt to make sure I couldn't escape. Her mouth was feverish against mine, frantic with the intensity of her passion. Given the night that I'd been having before she'd woken, it was more than enough to ignite my smoldering desire into a full-fledged fire. My hands were in her hair, locking her face to me as we kissed.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still conscious that this time I couldn't hold her too tightly, not for a moment. I had to find some way to keep my focus, to ensure I didn't make a mistake.

I reached out for the first thing that wasn't Bella's flesh – the flimsy nightgown. A handful of lace in each hand, I yanked it apart with more force than was necessary, channelling my strength into the effort. It shredded like it were made out of wet tissue paper, and I tossed it to the foot of the bed.

That was it. That was the answer. When the sensations got to be too much, I just needed to find a place other than Bella's body to channel them.

Her kisses were still feverish, burning with urgency. One of us had to dial this back, and I knew it was going to have to be me.

Not wanting her to think that I was stopping altogether, when I pulled my mouth away from hers, I placed a hand on her back and gently eased her down onto the mattress, my gaze locked on hers. I hovered over her on one elbow and ran a hand down the length of her body, from her shoulder down to her waist. She was glass…_a soap bubble,_ I thought to myself, concentrating on using only the slightest touch. I allowed my palm to trace its way back up to her neck, over her flat stomach, her belly button, her abdomen, over one perfect breast and then up to cup her chin. Softly, ever so softly, I bent to kiss her again.

She lunged at me in response, throwing her arms around my neck with all of her strength for the third time tonight.

I pulled back an inch or two and placed a finger over her lips, then tilted her face to the side so I could brush my lips over the soft skin under her left ear. I traced my way down her jaw to her chin, then tilted her face to the other side so I could trace back up to her right ear. When I finally moved back to her mouth, my kiss was soft as a whisper.

I was trying to show her how this had to go tonight if it were going to go at all, and hoped she was getting the message. The unfamiliarity of the experience our first night here had made it all too easy to slip and get carried away, but now that I knew what to expect, I was determined to keep my focus. I had to consider it a matter of life or death. _Bella's_.

Thankfully, she caught on to what I was doing fairly quickly, and appeared to be trying to do her best to cooperate. Her fear of causing me to pull away altogether was likely my best ally in that regard. Since she allowed me to take the lead, I could set the pace in a way that permitted me to concentrate.

Not that there weren't still moments where that became extremely difficult. Sometimes Bella couldn't seem to help herself from clutching at me too tightly, trying to hurry me along, practically attacking me in her enthusiasm. At one point, when I grabbed her wrists in one of my hands and held them over her head on the bed so she would calm down a little, she apparently found that twice as exciting and thrashed against me even more.

At other times, my own reactions got away from me and I found myself reaching once again for the first thing that wasn't Bella's flesh – this time, the wooden headboard. It splintered with the force of my grip when the moment came where I carefully pushed inside her, and I had to pause, gasping, shaking my head against the fog of bliss that threatened to take me over. My muscles trembled with the effort of holding back as I thought _soap bubble, soap bubble_ over and over.

But it was still the greatest pleasure I had ever known, that I could ever imagine. Some part of my brain cursed me for wasting the last seven days and not having found some way to do this sooner.

And there were more instances of splintering wood. Oddly, Bella didn't seem to notice that at all as we moved together, but was instead absorbed in my kisses, and where my hands caressed her soft body. Even as we both reached our ending and a handful of wood came away in my hand with a loud _crack_, she didn't bat an eye – although, admittedly, her eyes had rolled back in her head with such force that she probably couldn't have batted an eye at that moment if she'd wanted to.

Her breathing was ragged, panting as I tossed the hunk of wood to the floor next to the bed, and reached up to put my palms on either side of her face so I could kiss her, again and again. I was still trembling a little myself, but I felt…ecstatic. Not only could I feel the relaxed, satiated euphoria settle in that I recognized from the other night, but I was almost certain this time that nothing had gone wrong. As soon as I felt like I could move, I started to pull away so that I could check for sure.

Bella tightened her grip around my shoulders. "_No_," she insisted, still out of breath. She was looking at me with wide eyes, demanding that I not go anywhere.

I chuckled. All right. I could wait. There was no rush. But I made sure none of my weight was crushing against her by raising my upper body a little. Fortunately, this also made it easier to reach her mouth with mine.

Long moments passed as we simply kissed each other, breaking apart only far enough to rub our cheeks or noses against each other gently, or to kiss some other spot on each other's face or neck. Of course, I was more than ready within a few minutes to make love again, but decided not to push our luck until I could be one hundred percent sure there wasn't a single new bruise on Bella's body.

In any event, as her heart rate gradually evened out and the flush in her cheeks subsided, I could tell she was sliding back into sleep, whether she wanted to or not. Eventually, she could resist it no longer, and her eyelids slipped closed.

Careful not to wake her, I rolled to her side. The sky was clear so the moon and stars were bright tonight, casting even more light in the window than my vampire eyes would need to look Bella over. To my profound relief, the only marks I could see where those that were yellowing and fading from a week ago. I knew the next few hours would tell for sure, though, so I gently pulled her onto my chest to wait.

My still heart sung when she sighed in her sleep and nestled closer. "Edward…love you so much."

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "As I do you, my Bella."

For the first time in a week I felt very hopeful.

* * *

I was stretched out enjoying the feel of the sun on my skin when Bella finally woke up the next morning. Even though she didn't open her eyes right away, I could tell she was awake from the fact that her heart, previously beating in a slow and steady rhythm as she slept, started to pick up speed. I could imagine what she was nervous about and was rather amused.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and raised herself up on an elbow so she could look down into my face. "How much trouble am I in?" she asked meekly.

_Trouble_. Now that her eyes were open, I was surprised she couldn't see the fact that I was still practically glowing from the night before. Trouble was the farthest thing from my mind.

"Heaps," I said teasingly, and turned to give her a little smile.

She exhaled heavily and her heart rate started to slow. "I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean…Well, I don't know exactly what that _was_ last night."

_Who cares?_ I almost laughed, given the end result -- but the memory of her heartbroken tears kept it from being a laughing matter.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about."

"I guess I didn't—but I sort of _showed_ you what it was about," she replied with a nervous chuckle.

"Oh." I took that in for a moment, remembering the way she had lunged at me, and how she had kissed me. That must have been some dream. I suddenly regretted not being able to sleep if that sort of thing were possible. "Interesting."

"It was a very good dream," she said quietly. An understatement, it would appear. "Am I forgiven?"

"I'm thinking about it," I told her. As if I could really be angry with her for anything, much less that.

She started to sit up, but suddenly fell back against the pillows. "Whoa…head rush."

I put my arms around her to steady her. "You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"_Twelve?_" she repeated incredulously, but seemed to be more occupied with scanning her arms and torso. I knew she was looking for new bruises, and also knew that she would find none. Careful not to wake her, I had looked over every inch of her once the sun had started to come up. My sense of relief had been so profound, I had almost woken her up myself to tell her about it.

"Is the inventory complete?" I asked as she stretched her arms above her head.

She nodded, but looked embarrassed. "The pillows all appear to have survived."

True, there were no feathers this time. "Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your…er…nightgown." I nodded my head toward the foot of the bed where I had tossed the bits of lace the night before.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did, too." Yes, I certainly did. The memory of how it had looked brought a surge of warmth to my stomach.

"Were there any other casualties?"

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame," I told her, looking over my shoulder toward the spot where I had torn chunks of wood from the headboard.

"Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that," she said with a slight frown as she took the sight in.

Another surge of warmth crept over me as a vision of what had occupied her attention instead swept through my mind. "You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

She blushed. "I was a bit absorbed."

I reached out to stroke her cheek and sighed. "I'm really going to miss that." Despite all the ways that our lives would be so much easier once she was changed, the thought of it still depressed me. I wasn't sure I would ever get over how much I hated the idea of ending her human life.

We stared at each other for a moment. _What I wouldn't give to be able to read her thoughts, just for a moment_, I thought for the millionth time. It was just lucky I had gotten to know her well enough to get some idea from her facial expressions – and that she wasn't particularly good at dissembling.

"How are _you_ feeling?" she asked finally.

I laughed. The expression on her face now was unmistakeable – like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What?"

"You look so guilty—like you've committed a crime," I teased.

"I _feel_ guilty," she muttered, looking away.

"So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense."

She blushed again. "The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation."

I wouldn't have believed it _wasn't_ premeditated, except for the fact that she had woken from a sound sleep and had such a strange reaction to her dream. "Maybe that was the wrong word."

"You're not angry?" she asked hopefully.

I smiled a little. "I'm not angry." Rather far from it, really…but I didn't want to be too overtly enthusiastic. There was still a very great need to be extremely careful, and I didn't want her to think those concerns had been alleviated.

"Why not?"

"Well…" I hesitated, trying to think of how to put it. "I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I glanced over at the damaged headboard. "Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect."

She smiled broadly. "I _told_ you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes at her. Practice, maybe – but mostly an extraordinary exercise in self-control.

When Bella's stomach growled, I couldn't help laughing. "Breakfast time for the human?"

"Please." She jumped up to get out of bed, but swayed on her feet. In less than a blink of an eye, I was beside her, my arms around her to steady her again. It was odd that she was so dizzy this morning, but I tried not to look too concerned.

"Are you all right?"

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."

I'd never seen an ungraceful vampire before, but with how prone to clumsiness Bella was, I was beginning to wonder if she would be the exception.

We walked to the kitchen together, but she insisted on cooking for herself this morning. I watched as she quickly fried some eggs and tipped them onto a plate despite the fact that they were still runny on top.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?" I asked. Usually, she wanted them turned into some kind of omelette, or at least over easy – not that they weren't disgusting to me no matter which way they were presented.

"Since now," she barely grunted before stuffing a forkful of still-sizzling egg into her mouth. It reminded me a little of Emmett with a grizzly bear.

Mmm…grizzly bear. The thought caused a burn of thirst in my throat. It had been since the morning of the wedding that I had hunted, but I figured I could continue to put it off a little longer. It didn't appeal to me to leave Bella alone, not even for a few hours.

"Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week?" I pulled out the garbage bin, which was almost full to the top with empty blue cartons. Now that I looked at them altogether that way, it really was incredible how much food she'd been going through. As a relatively small woman, Bella had never been a huge eater. Apparently all the fresh air and sunshine had made her ravenous.

And I would never mention it to her, of course, but my sharp eyes had already noticed that she appeared to have put on a few pounds, even in just over a week of eating like that. She looked slightly…_fuller_, all over. I certainly didn't think that was a bad thing, though. In my opinion, women in general had let themselves get far too skinny over the past forty years.

"Weird," she mumbled, still preoccupied with the contents of her plate. "This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

"You can give up the college pretense now—you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached." It was too bad that she didn't really want to go, since I actually thought she would enjoy it. Experiencing college life was important for a young person. I had always liked learning new things each time I had gone for another degree, and the humans always seemed to be having so much fun.

She snorted in response. "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spend _my_ free time plotting like some people do." She sat up straighter in her chair and put a funny expression on her face as she tried to do her best Edward impression. "_What can we do to wear Bella out today?_"

I smiled at her lame attempt, but wasn't about to apologize for taking that strategy. Someone had to be the responsible one in this relationship.

She leaned closer to me across the table and started to run the palm of her hand down my bare chest. "I really do want a little more time being human. I have not had enough."

Her touch elicited a sudden punch of desire in me just as strong – if not stronger – than the earlier blaze of burning thirst I had felt. Every memory of last night flashed through my mind.

Quickly, I suppressed both a gasp and a shudder. No matter how much I wanted to, I absolutely could not throw all caution and control to the wind.

I caught hold of her hand just as it reached my stomach. "For _this?_" I asked with mock incredulity. "Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments."

"Yeah, probably," she laughed.

"You are _so_ human."

"I know."

I couldn't help but start to break into a grin. "We're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"I'll probably fail out in one semester."

"I'll tutor you. You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find an apartment this late?"

I hesitated. For whatever silly reason, she always hated me spending what she felt was too much money. But accommodations were a basic need…surely she couldn't argue about that.

"Well," I began carefully, scanning her face for a reaction. "We sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case."

"You bought a house?"

"Real estate is a good investment."

She raised an eyebrow, but thankfully didn't protest. "So we're ready, then."

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little longer…"

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks," she retorted. "How much longer can we stay?"

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee…."

A reflective look crossed her face, but I couldn't tell what, specifically, she was thinking about. So _frustrating_….

"A few weeks," she finally said with a nod, then gave me a sly smile. "So I was thinking—you know what I was saying about practice before?"

"Can you hold on to that thought?" I laughed. What a one-track mind she had once she fixated on something. But now…maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing. "I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here. Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south—"

Bella frowned. "I don't want to go out. I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I had to bite back a laugh at her pouty expression. "All right, whatever you'd like. Why don't you pick one out while I get the door?"

"I didn't hear a knock."

I cocked my head in the direction of the front door, and we both heard a rap on the wood. I gave Bella a grin and went to let the cleaning crew inside.

"Gustavo! Kaure! Please come in." I said enthusiastically in Portuguese when I opened the door for the two Brazilians.

_Dear Jesus, still hasn't aged a day_, was Kaure's immediate thought. A slight, dark-skinned woman in her mid-fifties, she and Gustavo had been coming to clean and maintain the house for Esme for quite a number of years. While Gustavo was less prone to suspicion and tended to think that our wealth and cushy American lifestyle were the reasons for the Cullens' continued youthful appearance, Kaure had been raised in a local Indian tribe and had her own views as to those reasons.

I knew from Kaure's thoughts and from what I had overheard her say to Gustavo in the past that she loathed coming here and feared for her life every moment, no matter how pleasantly she was treated and how safely she came and went every time. It was only the very generous salary that Esme paid and Kaure's large family that caused her to continue to agree to come back.

It was my own view that we would have been better off to switch up the cleaning staff every once in a while so that no one would notice things like the fact that we never seemed to age. However, Esme had said that it wasn't easy to find people on the mainland with ready access to transportation, and the willingness to travel across to the island. Besides that, Gustavo and Kaure were extremely good and extremely reliable.

I chose to ignore Kaure's fearful thoughts and pretend like I didn't notice the way she looked at me.

I led the way down the hall, chattering a little senselessly about how lovely the weather had been, with no sign of rain since we'd arrived. When we got to the living room, Bella was standing near the TV looking through the shelves of DVDs.

I gestured toward her and couldn't help but beam with pride as I introduced her. "This is the newest Cullen, my wife Bella," I explained in Portuguese. "We were married just over a week ago."

Gustavo smiled and gave Bella a polite nod, but Kaure's eyes widened as she quickly figured out that Bella was one hundred percent human. _My God…wife? She can't possibly realize…why would he bring her here? What is he planning to do to her?_ Her expression was terrified.

The very idea that I would 'do' anything to deliberately harm Bella was insulting to say the least. With a deep breath, I ignored the urge to snarl at Kaure and chastise her for her assumption. Her reaction was the normal one, the appropriate one, being that she was very close to the truth in her suspicions about what the Cullens were. I couldn't fault her for being afraid of monsters, and I certainly couldn't fault her for her concern over my Bella.

Instead, I led the pair toward the white bedroom and started to give them my very lame pillow fight explanation for the mess of feathers.

After I had set them about their work, I eagerly returned to Bella's side and pulled her into my arms.

"What's with her?" she whispered immediately, and I knew she had seen the look on Kaure's face.

I shrugged. "Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious—or you could call it more aware—than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough. They have their own legends here. The _Libishomen_—a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women."

"She looked terrified."

"She is—but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?"

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." I supposed in the scheme of things, despite the fact that I would never deliberately hurt Bella, Kaure's concern for Bella's safety wasn't far off the mark. The bruises had certainly not disappeared altogether. I chuckled humourlessly, and glanced at the DVDs. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That's an acceptably human thing to do."

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human." With an all-too-carefree laugh, she wrapped her arms around my neck and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me. She was so trusting, so utterly unafraid. I knew I didn't deserve how much she loved me, but I was profoundly grateful for it. And compared to what I had just heard in Kaure's thoughts, it was wonderful to be treated like I was just…me.

I lifted her easily off her feet so that I wouldn't have to bend as far to kiss her. "Movie, schmovie," I heard her mutter as I traced my lips down her throat. She twined her fingers in my hair to make sure I didn't pull away.

Rather preoccupied, I didn't even notice that Kaure had returned to the room until both Bella and I heard her gasp behind us. She very clearly thought that she had caught me about to sink my teeth into Bella's neck for a mid-morning snack.

She was frozen in place, white feathers stuck in her hair and a bag of feathers in her arms, staring at us with her eyes wide in terror. She focused on Bella, but quickly realized that Bella was perfectly fine. "Excuse me," she muttered in Portuguese, and turned to continue down the hall.

"That's fine, Kaure. No problem at all," I replied, hoping I sounded both friendly and reassuring. She could think of me as a blood-sucking demon all she wanted, but I needed her to see that Bella was safe, and would continue to be safe.

When she was gone, Bella whispered, "She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?"

I laughed. "Yes."

"Here." She quickly grabbed the first movie she could put her hands on. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

It was one of those old musicals from the thirties which I actually quite liked. "Very honeymoonish."

We settled onto the sofa as the movie started, Bella nestled up against me. I wrapped my arms around her contentedly. My favourite place to be.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" she asked.

"I don't know….I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair—maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday."

Bella turned to me with a wide grin. "So there will be more destruction?"

I laughed at the hopeful and enthusiastic look on her face. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again." I was confident I knew how to handle it now, and figured it would probably be even easier if I wasn't surprised by it in the middle of the night, after hours of being immersed in my own thoughts. Once again I suppressed a bit of a shiver.

"It would only be a matter of time," she admitted. Her tone was light, but her heart rate had already picked up speed.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?" I teased.

"Nope. Healthy as a horse." She raised an eyebrow at me. "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. _You_ may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them." Actually, it would probably result in Kaure dashing in with a sharpened wooden stake.

Bella sighed a little. "Right. Drat."

She settled in and at least pretended to watch the movie as Gustavo and Kaure quickly and quietly went about their work. I was content to have her in my arms and gently stroke her hair. It was quite easy to get lost in that, and thoughts of the night before…

The movie was almost over by the time Gustavo entered the room to tell me that they were finished. I turned to thank him, noting that Kaure had already headed for the door without saying anything to us. At least her fear kept them efficient at getting everything done in record time. Gustavo nodded pleasantly and walked to the door to let himself out.

"They're finished."

"So that would mean that we're alone now?"

The one-track mind again. "How about lunch first?" I asked. I had already heard her stomach start to gurgle.

She hesitated and I knew that while she may have hated to admit it, she was hungry. I moved to get up and lead her to the kitchen.

After two tuna sandwiches (_that_ smell was particularly revolting to me, I have to say), Bella pushed her plate away and straightened in her chair. She looked at the empty plate, considering how much she had just eaten once again. "This is getting out of hand."

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon—burn off the calories?" I suggested.

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"And what was that?" After the complaint about hiking earlier, surely she wasn't going to suggest that.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left—"

It took less than a fraction of a second for me to know where that thought was going, and I thanked my lucky stars for the one-track mind. In a flash, I had her up in my arms with my lips on hers as I carried her, half-sprinting, to the blue room.


	7. Chapter 7: Unexpected

I'd experienced the best nights of my existence since I had met Bella, and each night of the week that followed was definitely among them.

Not to mention the days.

It seemed like we seldom left the blue room, unless it was to go to the kitchen to find something to feed the human, or to move from laying in each other's arms on the bed to laying in each other's arms on the sofa in the living room, where we half-paid attention to whatever Bella stuck into the DVD player.

Now that I had found the answer to keep from harming her fragile body, we let ourselves go with making up for all of the lost time since our relationship had first begun. There was seldom more than an inch or two of space between us, if any at all, and we spent long hours enjoying everything I had not allowed before. At some points, I almost felt like a typical 17-year-old human male…never wanting to stop, always wanting more.

It was of course still necessary to exercise the utmost caution on my part, but as it had when I had first learned to resist the pull of the scent of her blood, it got easier to do each time we made love. Bella was unfortunately inclined to recklessness when she got lost in the moment, but was generally cooperative when I had to bring her back within the boundaries of what was safe.

Her newfound tendency to want to nip at my neck with her front teeth, for example. She obviously couldn't cause me any real damage (in fact, I wondered about her chipping her teeth), but each time she did it, it almost sent me over the edge of reason. The first time she had done so, I had the briefest moment where I almost lapsed entirely and gave in to the impulse to throw her against the headboard and let go with wild abandon. Instead, I had frozen in place, forced myself to pull away, and later had to carefully explain that she really must _not_ do that again. Unfortunately, I had seen the shadow of a smile around her mouth as she considered the effect she had had on me.

Despite that apparent sense of triumph, though, I think she tried to remember my warning. She wasn't always successful, but thankfully, at least one of us could generally keep his wits about him.

You might think that the all-consuming restraint I had to exercise would take away from the experience, perhaps cause it to be more trouble than it was worth.

That could not have been farther from the truth.

There was nothing—nothing at all—that I had ever experienced or could even dream of experiencing that could match those times. The overwhelming sensations, the pleasure, the new closeness that I felt to my angelic bride in those moments…all of it was more than I had ever imagined, or ever have dared hope for. Nothing could match the feel of her in my arms, pressed against my body. What I had thought was impossible had become our reality.

But in addition to that, which was so much more than I deserved, I found that I almost felt…normal. Here, away from all other eyes except Bella's, subject to overhearing no one's thoughts but my own, I almost felt the way she seemed to see me: the same as anyone else. When that was combined with the love she showered on me, I felt closer to my lost humanity than I had in all the years since I had been changed. It was yet another gift from fate that I had never expected to receive.

I smiled down at Bella now, sleeping soundly after this evening's activities. Her hair had been messed and her cheeks were still flushed slightly. She looked—and smelled—so devastatingly sexy.

I hated to slip out and be even a moment without her, but it had been over two weeks, and I had to hunt. I had put it off as long as I could, partly because I didn't want to leave her, but also because hunting was the one sure way I would be reminded once again of my true nature. I hated to have to acknowledge my other appetite, the one that had been finally overshadowed by the physical appetite I had suppressed for so long. I also hated to have to acknowledge that until Bella became what I was, we would never really be the same.

My plan was to swim to the mainland, go into the nearest wooded area and be back as soon as possible. I didn't intend to be fussy about the choice of menu items. I had even considered simply seeing what was available in the ocean nearby, but I knew that any spilled blood in the water would draw sharks, and it would be a waste of precious time to deal with fighting them off.

I walked over to the dresser to write a note in case Bella woke up while I was gone:

_I'm hoping you won't wake and notice my absence, but, if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you._

I fold the sheet of paper in half, wrote "Mrs. Cullen" on the outside (it was as pleasurable to write as it was to say), and placed it on the pillow beside her. With a soft kiss to her forehead, I slipped out the French door to the beach.

I was impatient with my hunting, overeager to get back. My focus was off, too, and I made a few clumsy errors, managing to scare off a few animals before I caught up with them. I cursed myself under my breath, and wondered if I had gotten too deeply entrenched in playing human.

I was going to have to get it together before Bella and I returned home. If this kept up, I wouldn't be able to let her out of my sight long enough for her to attend her classes. If I couldn't be away from her for a few hours, I was definitely going to start seeming creepy. Or creepier than usual.

With business finally taken care of within another hour or two, I headed for the water to swim back to the island. I was racing even faster than I had on the way out, partially because I was enjoying the exercise, but partially because the sun was starting to rise and I worried that Bella would wake up without me. I didn't want her to miss me, even for a moment.

When I stepped back into the bedroom, I could see immediately that Bella was not in bed.

Drat. She had _already_ awoken without me.

I checked the bathroom but found it empty, and walked to the living room. She was there, curled up on the sofa with the TV on but the screen blank. Whatever she had been watching had finished some time ago. Her hair was plastered against her head in damp strings, and sweat beaded on her forehead. Dammit, she was sweltering. What a stupid thing for me to have forgotten in my hurry to leave and get back.

I sat down next to her on the sofa and pulled her into my arms, wiping a hand over her forehead to try and cool her down. "I'm sorry. So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

Her eyes blinked a few times as she woke, then suddenly widened. She went pale and sat up straight, struggling to get out of my embrace. "Bella?"

She ran for the bathroom then, and I was right behind her, my heart in my throat. What on _earth_…?

She dove at the toilet, yanked open the lid and threw up violently. I barely got her hair out of the way. "Bella? What's wrong?" I had never seen her more pale.

"Damn rancid chicken," she muttered, struggling to catch her breath.

"Are you all right?" The sight of her like this shook me to the core. I felt helpless, useless.

"Fine," she gasped. "It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away."

I looked at her pale face, still beaded with sweat, still looking quite nauseous. As if I would just walk away with her in this state. "Not likely, Bella."

"Go away," she pushed me weakly as she fought her way to her feet and to the sink, running the water to rinse out her mouth and splash her face. I held her steady, one hand still in her hair to keep it out of the water.

When she had finished, I swept her into my arms and carried her to the bed. I sat her down and then sat next to her, an arm around her shoulders for support. "Food poisoning?"

"Yeah," she managed to reply. "I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first."

I put a hand across her forehead to see if she felt warmer than usual. "How do you feel now?"

She hesitated a moment as if performing an internal self-inventory. "Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually."

I chuckled a little. Of course she was hungry. Not only was she always ravenous in the mornings these days, she'd just thrown up the entirety of her stomach contents. "I'll make you something to eat in a little while, Bella. For now, I think you should just lie down for a few minutes." My panic was gradually subsiding. Thankfully, she was generally a pretty healthy person and did not get sick often. Despite the medical training, it was easy to forget that humans were prone to this kind of thing when you weren't around them that much. But I supposed I would have to get used to it, for a few years at least.

Once she'd lain comfortably in my arms for an hour or so without jumping up for the bathroom and could keep down a glass of water, I agreed to let her get up so I could fry her some eggs. When she had finished, we moved to the living room and laid on the couch, half-watching the news. She seemed to be tired but feeling all right as I stroked her forehead and hair.

But when she moved, turning in my lap, she suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth, leapt up and sprinted for the kitchen.

Once again, I was right behind her, and held her hair back as she threw up all of the eggs she'd just eaten into the sink.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor," I said with a frown as she rinsed her mouth out for the second time. I didn't like this one bit. I couldn't imagine anything worse than Bella feeling less than perfect, and being unable to do anything about it. Powerlessness was my least favourite feeling.

She shook her head and turned for the bathroom. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth."

I waited anxiously for as long as I could tolerate, but she was gone too long—or at least what seemed too long to me. It could have been less than thirty seconds, but I didn't care. I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Are you well? Did you get sick again?"

"Yes and no," I heard her say, but her voice was unnaturally choked. The distress was abundantly obvious. I could feel the panic rising in my throat again.

"Bella? Can I please come in?" I demanded, about to take the door off the hinges anyway if she said no.

"O…kay?"

When I stepped into the room, she was sitting on the floor with her bag of toiletries spread out next to her. She looked…_stunned_, staring straight ahead.

If my heart had still been beating, it most certainly would have stopped at the sight of her face.

I quickly knelt down beside her and put a hand to her forehead again. "What's wrong?"

It seemed to take her a moment to find her voice. When she spoke, she was whispering. "How many days has it been since the wedding?"

"Seventeen," I answered automatically. I could probably have given her the number of hours if she had wanted to know, but instead I frowned. "Bella, what is it?" What could the date of the wedding possibly have to do with anything?

She held up a finger to motion that I should wait and muttered under her breath, still staring at the wall. Something was running through her mind. She was trying to figure something out. _Damn_ the fact that I couldn't read her mind, of all minds! I nearly growled with the frustration.

I waited for a moment, but couldn't stand it much longer. "Bella! I'm losing my mind over here."

She looked like she was trying to answer me but couldn't. Instead, she reached into her bag and dug around for moment, then held up a small blue box.

I looked at what she had in her hand. Tampons? My eyes went to her face, searching for some kind of explanation. "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?"

"No," she gasped, finally turning to look at me. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

She was _never_ late. Never, in all the time I'd known her. I froze, trying to figure out what that could possibly mean, why that would make her sick.

"I don't think I have food poisoning," she added. "The dreams. Sleeping so much. The crying. All that food. Oh. Oh. _Oh._"

My mind went completely blank. No thoughts of any kind formed for a long, long moment. Looking back on it now, I can only conclude that my vampire brain had realized the import of her words instantaneously, then shut down just as quickly. I had gone into shock. Complete and utter shock. What she was saying—it was impossible. _Impossible._

I was vaguely aware that Bella had leaped to her feet and was murmuring the same word: _impossible_. She was moving around a little, doing something, but I didn't know what. I couldn't focus on her. My mind, blank as an unused chalkboard a moment ago, was now racing, desperately trying to process the information I'd just been given.

_Late. Five days late. _For a human couple, the implications would be obvious. Obviously, Bella _was_ human…but just as obviously, I was not. And even if I were, I remembered everything about human reproduction from medical school: there was no way her body would already be reacting to a pregnancy only a couple of weeks old. There was no way she should already be so hungry, so tired…There was no way she should be waking up with _morning sickness_, for God's sake.

It was impossible.

Wasn't it?

Long ago, I had of course read everything about my family's kind that I could get my hands on: historical accounts, novels, poems, legends ancient and modern, from every place around the world. I had scoured even the newest material, from Bram Stoker to Stephen King to Anne Rice. I'd also watched the movies, dozens of them, no matter how campy or low-budget. Much of the information was just plain wrong, but I had absorbed it all anyway to at least know what humans thought of us, and what they expected when they had the misfortune to encounter us. My mind rolodexed through the litany of facts and 'facts'.

_The legend of the incubus._ I knew it, but had never taken it seriously.

For one thing, until I had met Bella, the idea of a male vampire mating with a human female had seemed ridiculously absurd. Even when I became aware of the predilection Tanya and her sisters had for human men, I had learned that most of the men certainly didn't survive the encounter—or if they did, they didn't survive it…_intact_. There had never been any reason to believe that a human female would fare much better.

For another thing, I had never met anyone of our kind who had ever encountered or even heard of such an occurrence outside of the legends themselves. No one I knew of had ever seen or heard of an _actual_ human female being impregnated by a vampire male. The idea of anything human remaining within us—within _me_—to make such a thing biologically possible seemed even more ridiculously absurd. I didn't even have _tears_, for heaven's sake. How on earth could I have…which would function sufficiently well to…?

Then the worst part of the legend of the incubus hit me with the force of a wrecking ball.

Even in those stories where a male vampire had mated with a human female and she had not only survived the encounter, but been successfully impregnated…she most certainly did not survive the pregnancy. Neither did the fetus. The human body was never strong enough in those legends to carry the unnatural pregnancy to term, or to a point where the fetus could survive. The pregnancy itself killed both mother and child.

Even in the legends and the old wives' tales, there had been enough inherent logic to recognize that such an unnatural union could never result in anything less than a monstrous outcome for all involved.

So even if it were somehow possible for Bella to be pregnant, the result would be disastrous.

Which meant that despite the fact that at the end of the day, I might not ultimately be the monster who would be _directly_ responsible for Bella's death as I had always feared, right from the moment we met, I had instead created another monster—and _that_ monster would surely be the one to kill her.

The realization made my head swim. If I had needed air, I would have been gasping for breath. If I could have been sick, I would certainly have been the one next lunging for the sink.

I could scream, but couldn't seem to find my voice. Or any ability to move in any way.

I was vaguely aware that Bella was still in the room, still moving around and muttering, but it was as if I were at the bottom of a well under a hundred feet of water, only able to see blurry shapes and muffled sounds at the surface. I wanted to know what she was doing…I wanted to be able to say something to her…

But I couldn't. I could do nothing at all.

I had no idea how much time passed, but suddenly realized that Bella was climbing over me, patting my clothes, digging into my pockets for something.

_Ring…ring…ring…_

Something was making some kind of ringing noise. She seemed to be looking for the source of the noise. Or at least that was the logical inference.

_Ring…_

"Hi, Alice." Bella's voice. She had found my cell phone. It was the phone that had been ringing. Struggling, I started to push the fog of shock and distress from my mind so that I could follow the conversation.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Alice. It was Alice. Of course. And she sounded as frantically worried as…as she _should_ sound, in the circumstances.

"Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?" Bella's voice was rough, like she was having trouble speaking.

"He is. What's the problem?" Alice demanded.

"I'm not…one hundred percent…sure…."

"Is Edward all right?" I heard Alice's voice, fainter, away from the telephone receiver, calling for Carlisle. "Why didn't he pick up the phone?" she asked when she returned to her interrogation of Bella.

"I'm not sure," Bella replied, and I could feel her eyes on me.

"Bella, what's going on? I just saw—"

"What did you see?"

_An excellent question._ Alice hesitated. Instead of answering, she just said, "Here's Carlisle."

"Bella, it's Carlisle." Now my father's voice, calm. "What's going on?"

Another excellent question. "I—" Now it was Bella's turn to hesitate. "I'm a little worried about Edward….Can vampires go into shock?"

"Has he been harmed?" Carlisle immediately sounded worried.

"No, no…Just…taken by surprise."

"I don't understand, Bella."

I heard her suck in a deep breath. "I think…well, I think that…maybe…I might be…pregnant."

It was the first time the word had been spoken out loud: _pregnant_. My stomach plunged crazily, but I was still unable to move.

There was silence from Carlisle's end of the line for a long moment. Finally, he switched into doctor mode. "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?"

"Sixteen days before the wedding," she replied quickly. Clearly, she had already done the math.

"How do you feel?"

"Weird." Her voice broke on the word. "This is going to sound crazy—look, I know it's way too early for any of this. Maybe I _am_ crazy. But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing up and…and..I swear something _moved_ inside me just now."

_Moved?_ The monster had _moved?_ I looked up at her sharply as my frozen limbs instantly thawed. I held out my hand for the phone.

Bella looked at me with a concerned frown. Leave it to her to be worried about _me_. "Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you."

"Put him on," I heard Carlisle say tersely, and she handed me the phone.

"Is it possible?" I asked, managing no more than a whisper.

"Well…I've never seen it myself, Edward. I've never even heard of an actual case of a human being impregnated by a vampire, not even when I was with the Volturi. And you know how many centuries _they've_ been around. But I've also read the same legends and stories I know you have read, and my experience has always been that even the most impossible-sounding legends have a basis in truth."

He cleared his throat and continued on. "But in addition to that, now that I turn my mind to it, I can think of no reason that it wouldn't be physiologically possible. It may be hard to believe when you consider how much our bodies change and how much is lost during the transition from human to vampire. We may no longer produce new sperm, but I suppose the original _supply_, if you will, remains intact.

"Given that Bella is in her prime reproductive years, I really should have thought of the possibility when you told me of your…er…plans for your honeymoon. I suppose it just never occurred to me, since it's not something I've ever encountered. I was too focused on the other issues…" He let his voice trail off for a moment.

"I'm going to have to look into this some more, Edward. I simply have no idea what to expect with a child who will be half-human and half-vampire."

I was staring a hole into the bathroom wall as I absorbed everything he had said. He was trying to think of it scientifically, _medically_, but was clearly at a loss to do so. The most gifted physician I'd encountered in a hundred years, and he had no idea what to do or say.

I forced myself to ask the question that was foremost in my mind. "And Bella?" Instinctively, I reached out to pull her against me.

There was a pause. "I wish I knew what to tell you, son. I just don't know enough." He didn't say it, but I knew he was thinking about those legends—where the outcome was always an excruciating death for the woman involved. "She's young, healthy and strong, and from what she said she's experiencing very normal signs of early pregnancy. She's at least three or four months or so ahead of schedule on those things and I don't know what that means, but I'll start reading everything I can get my hands on. And you need to bring her home right away so I can examine her. If necessary…" he hesitated. "Well, if necessary…I'm sure I can terminate the pregnancy. I'll look into that as well. It should still be early enough. In the meantime, just try and keep her comfortable."

I recognized Carlisle's keep-the-patient-calm bedside manner voice. It was the voice he used when he suspected the worst but wasn't yet ready to deliver the news. I had a million more questions, but knew that he had none of the answers. My best hope was to get Bella home, and hope that his research would pay off while we were en route. "Yes. Yes, I will," I told him numbly, and hung up.

My next call was obvious, and I started dialing immediately.

"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked anxiously.

"He thinks you're pregnant." I knew my tone was flat, and I was surprised I could get the words out at all.

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

* * *

Making the arrangements for our sudden departure in a country where 'hurry' was not part of the local consciousness the way it was in America was ridiculously aggravating. I had to argue with far too many airline bureaucrats, each the supervisor of the last, each trying to tell me that what I was looking for—a flight to Seattle, not to the moon, for heaven's sake—was "impossible". _Don't try and tell __me__ what's impossible_, I felt like screaming at them. In my world, nothing seemed to be impossible any more, unless it were my continued peace of mind. That, surely, was the one thing that appeared to be truly impossible.

As I debated one fool after another over the arrangements, I hurried through the bedroom, tossing our things into our suitcases as quickly as I could. I could sense that my frantic movements were upsetting Bella, but it was too important that we be fast and get back to Carlisle as soon as possible. He needed to be able to examine her before this went on for any longer, so that we could figure out what could be done.

Besides, throwing things into suitcases was the only thing distracting me from tearing something apart in my rage and frustration.

Pregnant! Of all the things that could possibly remain quasi-human in me, _that_ had to be the one. The one that would kill my reason for existence. The irony was infuriating. It were as if the fates were mocking me at every turn, matching every positive thing that happened with a negative one. Or six. It didn't seem as though we could go a week without Bella's life being in danger, and in danger because I was a vampire and she was human.

I didn't think my sense of self-loathing had ever been as intense as it was then.

"Fine…" I said in Portuguese, through clenched teeth. "Los Angeles is fine. Give me that one." We'd have to make further arrangements to get from L.A. to Seattle, but at least we'd be back in the U.S. where it should be at least slightly easier to do. I couldn't stand arguing with these people for one more minute anyway.

When I finally snapped the phone shut, I noticed that Bella had disappeared from the room. I could hear her rustling some kind of packaging in the kitchen, and headed that direction.

"Bella?"

She turned slowly from where she stood at the window. Quiet tears glistened on her cheeks.

My anger and frustration evaporated and were instantly replaced with remorse and concern. She was crying again! I'd made her cry, _again_. Not only was she feeling physically awful, she must have been terrified, and I hadn't even acknowledged it.

I crossed the kitchen in a flash and took her face in my hands. "Bella! Are you in pain?"

"No, no—" she started to say, but I couldn't let her finish. I had to say something to reassure her that I would _not_ let this kill her. I would not let this even harm a hair on her head.

Clutching her to me, I did my best to say the things I hoped would make her feel safe. "Don't be afraid. We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine."

Her voice was somewhat muffled against my chest. "Take care of this? What do you mean?"

She sounded genuinely confused. Perhaps she couldn't even imagine that a solution was possible. I pulled away so that I could see her face. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I _won't_ let it hurt you."

She said something else but I was distracted by the sound of footsteps approaching the front door. The cleaning crew again! Of all the things we didn't need right now. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I gave her a small squeeze and hurried toward the door.

_Dear God, I hope he hasn't killed her yet…I can't believe I'm doing this…but she has no one to protect her…_

The thoughts threw me off guard. I hadn't paid enough attention to the footsteps to realize that it wasn't Gustavo on the other side of the door, it was Kaure. Even _worse_.

I flung open the door impatiently, in no mood for her suspicions and speculation. It hadn't escaped me that indirectly she'd been quite right to worry about the human woman alone on this island with the _Libishomen_, but I had enough to worry about.

"Kaure. I'm sorry, I forgot you were coming today," I said in quick Portuguese. "We've been called back to the United States for an emergency, so we're leaving right away. Can you come back tomorrow and do the cleaning then, and close up the house for Esme?"

_He doesn't want me to see! I knew it!_ "Uh…yes, sir…" she replied, looking down, away from my eyes. _So glad I thought to bring this casserole. Bravely, now…. _"But I cooked this meal for you and your…bride." She held up a covered wooden dish. "Please allow me to bring it into the kitchen for you."

Oh, for… Her heart was actually pounding in her chest, thinking she'd be about to wander in on a murder scene. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had to admire her willingness to do so for an absolute stranger. No doubt a cultural difference between her tribe and Americans unwilling to get involved in matters that didn't concern them directly. "Thank you, Kaure. I can take that in." I reached to take the dish from her, but she pulled it back.

"Please allow me, Mr. Edward. I wouldn't want you to be burdened with the task. And perhaps I can say hello to your lovely…wife."

I realized she was determined, and didn't have the energy or the time to argue with her. Fine, we'd get this over with. "It's really not necessary, Kaure," I muttered, annoyed, but stepped back to allow her inside. I turned for the kitchen, assuming she would follow me. "And really, we don't have much time to spare. Please be quick."

"Yes, Mr. Edward."

Bella was still standing in the same spot near the window, still with tears glistening on her cheeks. I went to her side and wiped them away with a finger, leaning in to whisper, "She's insisting on leaving the food she brought—she made us dinner. It's an excuse—she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet."

Kaure stepped into the kitchen cautiously, her eyes steady on Bella's face. _Thank the Lord, she's alive. But she's so pale! What has he done to her? Was she crying? _"I will leave the dish here for you," she said quietly, placing her gift on the counter without moving her eyes from Bella. She glanced between the two of us for a moment, trying to decide what was happening and what she should do about it.

I'd had enough. There were more important things for me to deal with than this woman's suspicions, or her feelings. "All right, already, Kaure!" I snapped. "You've done it, you've brought the dish in. Thank you. Now go!"

I had startled her. She spun to leave, kicking up a draft with her skirt as she did so. The heavy smell of spices, onions and fish wafted from the dish on the counter, and Bella whirled around where she stood, heaving into the sink. I barely got my hands to her face in time to hold her hair out of the way, then tossed the dish into the refrigerator to suppress the smell.

As Bella rinsed her mouth and face, I gently caressed her cheeks and forehead, hoping the coolness of my skin would help make her feel at least a little bit better. All of this because of me. The self-loathing cascaded over me once again. My poor Bella, this sick because of me.

When she seemed to have finished, I turned her around carefully and pulled her into my arms. What I wouldn't have given to have been able to take this onto myself so that she wouldn't have to be the one suffering. Every single time, she always had to be the one to pay the price.

She rested her head against my shoulder and folded her hands over her stomach.

_Incubus! _The thought was so forceful it were as if it had been shouted. An audible gasp was followed by a steady stream of mental prayers.

Bella and I both looked up to see Kaure in the doorway of the kitchen, frozen in place with her hands outstretched towards us. Her eyes and her mouth were wide open, locked on the sight of Bella's hands on her stomach.

_Bastard! You evil bastard! What have you done?! _Again, it were as if the words had been shouted out loud. The horror and the hatred were nearly palpable. She was wishing she had a stake in her hands, and was fully prepared at that moment to use it.

I made some kind of audible sound myself and turned toward Kaure, drawing Bella behind me instinctively at the sense of a threat, even though the threat was directed at me and not her.

Suddenly Kaure was screaming at me, her words and thoughts spilling out in such a barrage of outrage and horror that it was almost difficult to discern what she said out loud versus what silently went through her mind. It was a torrent of accusations and threats, and she even stepped forward to shake a fist at me. She was no more than five feet tall and ninety pounds full clothed, and she was purposely threatening a vampire. It was astonishing.

I was momentarily stunned by not only her ferocity, but also her bravery. It was difficult to feel animosity in return, since her reaction had been provoked primarily by her concern for my Bella. Moreover, she was quite right. Although my intentions had never been evil, the result certainly was.

I took a step forward, hoping to calm her down. Bella clutched at my arm, likely afraid I was going to tear this woman's head off right in front of her.

"Please, Kaure, it's not like that. Bella is my wife. We really are married, legally married, in the United States." Casting my mind back, I searched for the words in the language of her tribe, the Ticuna, hoping that the familiarity of the words would help her to trust me. I had learned the language long ago and not used it for decades, but was pleased to find that if I concentrated, I could find what I needed to say.

I pressed ahead. "I love her, more than my own life, more than anything. And she loves me, too. You can see she's not afraid of me. She's not here against her will." I started to say something about how I hadn't harmed her, but couldn't. It hadn't been deliberate, but I _had_ harmed her.

_What? _Kaure's mind reeled, astonished by the fact that I knew her native tongue. As she stared at me, it briefly occurred to her that that might mean I was even _more_ dangerous, but she had more immediate concerns. Narrowing her eyes, she replied in Ticuna. "I see she's crying. I see she's sick, throwing up. And I see her clutch at her stomach, which is clearly swollen. She is with child, isn't she; your child?"

Kaure had five children, and many grandchildren. Her mother had been a midwife. She had personally witnessed countless pregnancies and births. It was clear from her mind that she knew the signs better than any American gynecologist.

I couldn't find my voice to answer her, so I simply nodded.

With another quiet gasp, she took a step backwards and crossed herself. _Dear Lord. A demon child._

Again, she was right. All I could do in response was gesture lovingly toward Bella, and gently place my hand on her cheek. She was right, except that she had not acknowledged that I loved Bella, that I had not deliberately hurt her.

"Of course you've entranced her! I know how your kind work, how you gain the trust of helpless young women. That she cannot resist you doesn't mean you're not a demon!" She snarled, gesticulating wildly at me.

"It's not like that, Kaure," I said quietly. "Can't you see it? Can't you see how much I love her? We've been together for almost two years." My voice had become pleading, and I still had a hand resting on Bella's soft cheek. She was staring between Kaure and me, unable to understand the words but clearly understanding that the exchange was not a pleasant one.

Kaure calmed down slightly as I spoke, breathing heavily through her nose. She was looking from my face to Bella's, judging, trying to make out the situation from our faces. Something there gave her enough pause to fuel an inner debate in her mind, as she considered whether I could possibly be telling her the truth.

She stepped forward and gestured in front of her with her hands to mimic the shape of a round, pregnant stomach. "She knows that she is pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Newly pregnant?"

"Yes."

"And she knows what you are?"

"Yes." I hesitated. While Kaure was clearly shocked by what she had found here today, she was not particularly surprised about the fact of the pregnancy itself – that it was even possible. In that regard, she certainly knew more than I had. Her thoughts were on her tribe's legend of the incubus. She had heard of this before. Perhaps she had knowledge that would be of use to us, to Carlisle. Carefully, almost not sure I wanted the answer, I asked, "Have you seen this before?"

Her response was instant in her mind. She hadn't seen it herself, but she had heard stories from others who had, including her mother, the midwife, who had in turn heard them from her grandmother, also a midwife.

The stories had not had happy endings.

She shook her head slowly without speaking, but in her mind were visions of women, either killed while pregnant with children so much stronger than their own bodies that their bodies literally broke apart, or killed in childbirth, after agonizing hours of…

I could feel my world crumbling as I tuned out of her thoughts, unable to bear them for another instant. I couldn't connect those images, bloody and violent, with my soft, sweet Bella. That couldn't possibly be her future. It _couldn't_.

"Do they ever survive?" I croaked out, only vaguely aware of the desolation in my voice.

Again, the response was instant in her mind: _never_. She stepped forward slowly and reached out to place her hand carefully over Bella's, on Bella's stomach. "_Morte_," she sighed in Portuguese.

She was genuinely sorry for Bella, and somehow, even sorry for me.

Her head and shoulders bent, she turned and quietly left the room.

I had become a statue, frozen to the spot by Kaure's words and, most of all, by those last images in her mind. That was the fate that had been dealt to Bella, all because she had had the misfortune to fall in love with me.

I was paralyzed with the grief.

I knew Bella was still standing beside me, but I was unsure how much time passed before she moved, starting out of the kitchen. Startled into action again by her movement, I gently grabbed her shoulder. "Where are you going?"

Her expression was even. "To brush my teeth again."

"Don't worry about what she said," I told her, suddenly desperate to reassure her, at least to keep her calm until I could get her to Carlisle. "It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment."

"I didn't understand anything," she replied flatly.

I could read nothing from her expression, and cursed again the fact that I couldn't get even the vaguest glimpse of a thought from her mind. "I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you," I finally said, lamely, and preceded her to the bedroom.

"Are we leaving soon?" she asked.

God, yes. "As soon as you're done."

I paced around the bedroom while she brushed her teeth, waiting for the toothbrush so I could put it back in her suitcase. My mind was racing, trying to focus now on what needed to happen next, and in what order. Bags in the boat. Bella in the boat. Boat to mainland. Taxi to airport. Rio to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Seattle…

I went to item number one on the list when Bella gave me the toothbrush. "I'll get the bags into the boat," I muttered, a suitcase already in each hand.

"Edward—" she said, just as I reached the bedroom door.

"Yes?" I turned back to face her, but again could read nothing in particular from her expression.

She paused for a moment, as though unsure what to say. Finally she asked, "Could you…pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again."

Her heart beat was as even as the look on her face. She was calm. Or at least appeared to be calm, for the moment. It was remarkable. _She_ was remarkable, I thought, not for the first time.

"Of course." I forced a small smile. "Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon."

She nodded, and I turned to leave the room with the suitcases.

There was no way in hell I was going to let this kill her. No matter what we had to do, it would be done. And once it was done, we'd get on with her transformation so that she could finally, _finally_ cease to be in danger from me and my kind.


	8. Chapter 8: More Surprises

Although time usually passed quickly -- unnoticeably -- to vampires, I'd experienced long hours before. Many of them had been associated with Bella, usually when we were apart and I couldn't wait to have her in my arms again. More of them had been associated with that insane time I had left her in Forks, thinking I could walk away and leave her to live her life without me.

None of those times compared to that journey home.

Each second ticked by with exquisite slowness, each frustrating me with its stubborn refusal to speed up and bring us back to Carlisle as soon as possible.

Even worse, I knew that no matter how anxious I felt, it must have been nothing compared to what Bella was going through. She was so terrified by what was growing inside her at such an alarming rate, doing God knew what to her body, she could barely speak. If I asked her a question, she gave me a one-word answer, looking at me numbly through half-closed eyes. If I didn't ask her a question, she didn't speak at all. When I tried to reassure her, to comfort her with words promising that she would be fine, that we'd deal with this immediately before she could be harmed, she couldn't even acknowledge that she'd heard me. If I pulled her into my arms, she was rigid with her fear.

I supposed that the one way she fared better than I did was that at least she could pass the hours on the airplane sleeping, taking refuge in unconsciousness. She didn't seem to be dreaming, so I hoped that at least those moments had some peace for her.

I continued to be powerless, and knew I could do nothing for her until we got home. To avoid crushing some inanimate object in my frustration (the airplane seats, for example -- not helpful if you get thrown in jail as an air terrorist threat, Edward), I kept myself at least somewhat occupied by holding Bella and pressing kisses into her hair while she slept. If I held her, soft and fragile, I knew I would control my strength.

At last. The pilot announced our descent into the Seattle/Tacoma airport.

Gently, I gave Bella a nudge to rouse her, murmuring, "Wake up, love. We're almost home."

She blinked dazedly, widening her eyes as she looked at me and oriented herself.

"It's almost over. We're about to land in Seattle," I told her.

Reflexively, as she had been doing whenever she was awake, she placed a hand on her stomach. The sight pained me, the idea that the moment she was back to consciousness was the moment she was filled with such worry.

I didn't know how I was ever going to forgive myself for this one.

It was another slow 45 minutes before we landed, taxied to the gate, disembarked, collected our luggage and headed for the exit. I handled everything with one arm, refusing to let the other move from its place around Bella's shoulders or waist.

At first, I was surprised to see my entire family waiting for us just outside the restricted security area. It was very unusual for us to be anywhere in public all together like that, where our collective appearance would draw even more attention than our individual appearances did. There was such a jumble of thoughts among the crowds at the airport that I hadn't picked theirs out before actually laying eyes on them.

It briefly occurred to me that it made sense for Carlisle to be there, and perhaps Esme. Carlisle would want to see Bella immediately, and Esme would accompany him. But to see all of the others there, too? Even...Rosalie?

_Thank God, there she is! Finally!_

Even more surprising, the first discernable thought amongst them was Rosalie's, filled with anticipation and anxiety.

Before I could process that, Bella had shaken off my hold around her shoulders and sprung forward, rushing headlong toward Rosalie, who had her arms open to pull Bella into her grasp.

My jaw dropped.

I froze on the spot.

I could not have been more shocked if Rosalie had changed into a bat and flown up to the ceiling.

"I've got you. You're safe. You're both safe," Rosalie was murmuring into Bella's ear, while looking at me with narrowed eyes over Bella's shoulder. Her expression was one of..._warning?_

I was too stunned by the scene before me to move, or even to cast my thoughts through the minds of my family to see if they had any idea as to the meaning of what I was seeing. Somewhere in the back of my mind, however, it registered that they were all staring at Rosalie and Bella with just as much shock and surprise. Even Emmett had his mouth half-open, his eyes wide.

I don't know how many minutes passed like that before Alice managed to shake herself into motion. She could see that I was half-blocking the doorway, and other travelers were trying to edge around me with their luggage, glaring at me as they passed. She stepped forward quickly and took control of the baggage cart. "Come on, Edward," she muttered. "We can't just stand here..."

I managed to follow her a few steps forward, toward Bella. Far too fast, fast enough to have shocked a human observer if one had been paying attention, Rosalie whisked Bella behind her with one arm. Her eyes narrowed even further at me. _That's far enough, Edward. No closer._

I struggled to find my voice. "Rosalie...what the _hell_..." I choked.

_You heard me. No. Closer._

I looked over her shoulder at Bella, who was looking between me and Rosalie uncertainly, as though she could not figure out quite what to do next.

But she made no move to come from behind Rosalie's protective arm.

I darted my eyes to Emmett's face. Surely if anyone knew what Rosalie was doing, he would.

His mouth was still open in surprise almost mirroring my own.

"Cullens! We cannot just stand here like this! We're attracting attention!" Alice hissed from between clenched teeth, just loudly enough for us all to hear it.

Carlisle was the next to shake himself out of his surprised stupor. "Of course not. There's nothing we can do here, in the middle of this airport. Let's go home."

_Bella rides with me_, Rosalie lobbed the thought at me just before she said it aloud for the benefit of everyone else. "Bella rides with me."

"Are you out of your _goddamn mind_, Rosalie?" It was my turn to hiss from between clenched teeth, not even caring that I had just sworn in the presence of ladies, including my wife.

"I think I'm more rational than you are right now, Edward," she retorted, her voice low and deadly. Her body was tense from the top of her blonde head to the tips of her painted toenails, ready to leap forward and...and _attack_ me, if need be.

And suddenly it was clear. Everything in her mind was as clear as if it were written down in front of me.

Bella had called her from island. While I was outside taking the luggage to the boat, Bella had taken my cell phone and called..._Rosalie_. To beg for help. Because Bella was desperately afraid of..._me_.

The fear I had sensed was not because she feared for her own safety, for what was happening to her body.

She was afraid of _me_.

Not because of what she thought I might do to her, but because she was afraid of what I would do -- what Carlisle and I would do -- to the monster growing inside of her.

She wanted the monster.

To her, it was no monster at all.

And she had known that the only person she could count on to side with her immediately on the topic of children at all cost was..._Rosalie_.

Rosalie, who saw this as an opportunity. If she could keep the monster safe, if it could be allowed to be born, there would be a child in the family -- even if it killed Bella in the process. Perhaps even better if it killed Bella in the process, because then the monster could be..._hers_.

Emmett was between me and Rosalie just in time, just before I could reach her throat. Within another fraction of a second, the rest of the family had also placed themselves between us, and Jasper had my arms pinned to my side.

Carlisle was the voice of insistent reason. "Son...I don't know what's going on here, either, but I do know that this is not the place for this conversation. The best we can do is get home as soon as possible. We have two cars here and I know your car is also parked here, so let's just split up, get home, and talk there." He looked at me with calm but pleading eyes. _Please, son. _

He was right. No matter what, I couldn't tear Rosalie to pieces in the middle of the Sea/Tac airport.

Rosalie took Bella's hand firmly in her own. "Come on, Bella. You're with me and Emmett."

"Now wait just a goddamn minute..." I hissed. "I know what you're up to, Rosalie. I may not kill you here, but Bella is still my wife. I have no intention of..."

Finally, Bella spoke, quietly. "It's okay, Edward. I'll go with Rose and Emmett. I'll see you back at the house."

_Rose?_ Rosalie was _Rose_ to her now?

I seemed to have woken up in an alternate reality.

"_Bella_," I breathed. "I _know_ what she's up to. How do I know she won't whisk you away to God knows where, and..." I wouldn't put anything past Rosalie to this point. Even if Bella didn't think it would happen that way, I could completely see Rosalie kidnapping her to some basement dungeon to force her to incubate the monster for her, no matter the consequences.

"I'll go with them," Carlisle said. "Esme can go with Jasper, you take Alice in your car. Just...let's go." _We'll see you back in Forks, Edward. I promise._

I thought quickly. What was the one thing that would ensure Rosalie wouldn't just take off? What could I take of hers that _she _loved?

Emmett.

"Fine. Carlisle goes with Bella and Rosalie. But Emmett comes with me and Alice."

_Oh, come on, bro'...do not put me in the middle of this._ Emmett looked at me with wide eyes.

"You're already in the middle of it," I snapped. "You can't keep your wife from going insane."

"Hey, now..." he started to say aloud.

"Enough!" Esme surprised us all by stepping forward and shoving us into our three separate groups. I had very, very rarely seen her angry, but this looked to be one of those times. She was not about to watch her family dissolve into vampire civil war in the middle of the day in the middle of an airport crawling with humans. "We're going! See you all at the house! No detours!"

Rosalie was the first to turn on her heel and start walking away, still clutching Bella's hand. Bella turned her head to cast a long glance at me over her shoulder, mouthing the words, _I'm sorry_.

I felt like my useless, dead heart had been torn from my chest. By _Rosalie_.

"Come on, Edward, Emmett..." Alice muttered, still in charge of the baggage cart as she led the way to the outside long-term parking garage where my car was parked. I was still staring after Rosalie, Bella and Carlisle, but Emmett gave me an elbow to the ribs to get me moving.

"The sooner we can get home, Edward, the sooner we can get this straightened out," Alice added.

Grudgingly, I followed.

* * *

Alice insisted on driving, insisting that I was far too upset to pay attention to my speed and we'd get pulled over by the police, causing an even longer delay before we could get home and I could get back to Bella.

Once Emmett wrestled the keys away from me and tossed them to her, I didn't have much choice in the matter. I settled into the front seat sullenly, and turned on Emmett as soon as he was situated in the back.

"Rosalie is _your_ nightmare, Emmett. _What in the name of all that's holy is going on here?_"

"Wait just a second, there, Edward. I've never called _your _wife..."

"Oh, please!" Alice snapped as she deftly maneuvered us through exiting airport traffic. "Save the insults! Save the arguing! Don't we have enough to worry about?"

"Don't even get me started on _you_," I growled at her. "How in the _hell_ did you miss this? _Any_ of it? You even packed all of that...that _stuff_, those _clothes_ for Bella, knowing that..."

"I saw none of this, Edward! _None of it!_" she yelled. "Everything was perfectly fine until yesterday morning, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing unexpected. Then all of a sudden, boom! Bella's nothing but a blur. Her whole future...gone! _I_ don't know what happened! Why do you think I was so worried, why I called you immediately? I acted as soon as I knew there was anything to act on!"

"And _I_ had no idea Rosalie was going to act like this! She didn't say a word to me!" Emmett added. "I almost fell off my chair this morning when she said she was going with Carlisle and Esme to meet you at the airport. She wouldn't explain herself, so I figured I'd better go along and see what was up."

"So Jasper and I decided we'd better tag along, too," Alice said. "Especially when I couldn't get a read on what Rosalie was up to, either. I can see everything about her, about _all_ of us, except, it would seem, where Bella is concerned."

Truth. It was the truth. Both of them. I could tell from the most cursory review of their thoughts.

"But from the words between you and Rose back there, it looks like you have some kind of an idea now, don't you?" Emmett demanded.

I exhaled loudly and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to get myself under control. I had overreacted. My whole family wasn't conspiring against me, least of all these two. Only _Rosalie_ was. _That bi...._

I took in a deep breath. "Bella called her from the island, after we spoke to Alice and Carlisle on the phone. I told her we would go home so Carlisle could look at her and do something about this...this _thing_ inside her, and she got all quiet. I thought she was just scared about what was happening to her, but it turns out she was scared about what we were going to do to...the _thing_. She's seeing it as a...as a _baby_. Like a normal _baby_. She knew Rosalie was the only one crazy enough to help her. To help _it_."

Emmett opened his mouth to protest, but Alice spoke first. "Enough of that, Edward. It's not helping. Rosalie has her own perspective on this particular issue, you know that."

I snapped my teeth together to keep from launching into a rant about Rosalie's so-called 'perspective'. Alice was at least right about the fact that getting into an argument with Emmett was not going to help anything.

With a sigh of his own, Emmett also seemed to decide that he would refrain from defending his wife to me for the moment. "Do you have any idea why you didn't see any of this, Alice?"

"None." She looked none too pleased about it, either. She hated running into impediments to her talent. The werewolves irritated her all the more because of their annoying way of avoiding her visions. "I can only assume it's like it is with the wolves...something about the baby interferes."

I growled. "Can we not call that _thing_ that is going to kill my wife a 'baby', please?"

"None of us know _what_ it is, or anything about it, Edward. Is it necessary to assume the worst right off the top?" she retorted.

"She's right, Edward," Emmett said. "Ever since Carlisle got off the phone with you, all six of us have been poring over every source we could get our hands on for information about this...situation. All any of could find were unsubstantiated legends, rumours and fairy tales. Hardly conclusive." _I should have realized something was up from the fact that Rosalie was helping us with that research_, he added silently with a somewhat apologetic look in my direction. _But we were all too freaked out...it didn't occur to me to analyze that._

I waved a hand at him to show that I was past blaming him for his wife's conduct. The idea of Bella contacting Rosalie for help and Rosalie actually agreeing was too off the wall for any of us to have anticipated.

"There's a tribe in Brazil...Remember Kaure, one of the cleaning staff on the island?" I asked.

"The Ticuna woman?" Alice's small eyebrows furrowed as she tried to think back. It had been a number of years since she and Jasper had last made it to Isle Esme.

"Yes. She suggested that her people had seen it...this...before. And the women always..." I couldn't form the rest of the words. "It always turned out very badly," I finished lamely instead.

_How in the world did you get into _that_ conversation with _her_?_ Emmett thought in surprise, but I just shook my head, not wanting to relive those particular minutes right now.

"So what?" Alice sniffed. "More legends. Same thing, different people. She didn't say she'd seen it herself, did she?"

"No. But from her thoughts...her grandmother had. Or said she had."

"Her grandmother told her stories, that's all."

Emmett shrugged. "I think she's right, Edward. There's no reason to assume the worst right now."

"What has Carlisle said?" I asked.

"Well..." Alice could not keep the image of Carlisle, frenetically scouring old books of legends and new books of the latest medical information, from her mind. Carlisle on the phone, calling in favours, ordering stockpiles of supplies. Carlisle's eyes tight, his lips pressed together in concentration and concern. "He's a doctor, Edward," she said lamely. "He has to prepare for everything." She and Emmett exchanged a look.

An it's-up-to-us-not-to-let-Edward-freak-out look.

"Let's just get home and wait for him to look at Bella, bro'. There's nothing else we can do right now." Emmett reached out to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

I tried not to flinch at the contact. People wanting to touch me is what had gotten me into this godforsaken mess.

"What are we going to do when we get home, then? About Rosalie?" I asked. That was something he _should_ be planning for right now. He was the only one with even a remote chance of getting her to see something resembling reason.

"She's not going to _eat_ Bella, Edward," Alice answered. _You don't know how badly she wants a baby -- _any_ kind of baby_, I thought bitterly. _She might if she thought it would help that goal._ Alice continued, "I'm sure Rose will wait for Carlisle's assessment, too."

"I agree, and I know her better than anyone. She's not a psychopath," Emmett added.

_Yeah, right._

"I'm not going to tolerate it if she thinks she's going to keep me twenty paces away from Bella at all times, or something insane like that. Just be prepared for that, Emmett. You may not want to be in the middle, but you will be."

Alice shot me a sidelong glance. "You seem to ignore the fact that Bella is the one who called Rosalie, Edward. It's not like she's just an unwilling prisoner."

"The woman has a mind of her own," Emmett nodded. "They're like that in this century, bro'. You should get used to it."

"Hilarious," I muttered, just as I noticed a highway sign indicating Forks was only another 20 miles. Thank God.

The other two vehicles were already in the garage when we finally arrived at the house. I was out of the car before Alice had come to a complete stop, and inside in another fraction of an instant. I searched for Carlisle's mind immediately. He was already upstairs with Bella.

Blowing past Esme and Jasper in the living room, I streaked up the stairs to Carlisle's office.

Rosalie was standing sentry outside the door.

"Hold it right there, Edward," she sneered, raising a hand to stop me. "That's as far as you go."

"Get the hell out of the way before I _throw_ you out of the way, Rosalie," I snarled.

"I'd like to see you try."

I'd had just about enough of this, and reached out once again to grab her by the throat.

Once again, Emmett's large hand clamped down over mine just in time. "Hold it right there, brother," he said quietly.

I turned my snarl in his direction. I'd warned him about being in the middle...

Just as Rosalie crouched into a fighting stance of her own, Esme, Jasper and Alice also arrived outside the door. "Boys! Rosalie!" Esme yelled. "Enough!"

The door was yanked open before I could reply, or react. Carlisle was there, his stethoscope around his neck. "Bella says you can come in, Edward," he said calmly. I looked over his shoulder into the office, and could see that he'd half-converted it into a medical examination room. Bella was reclined on an examination table, her t-shirt hiked up over her stomach. Positioned that way, the slight bulge was readily apparent. She was chewing her lower lip anxiously, gazing back at me from behind Carlisle.

"Wait a second...Bella..." Rosalie half-turned to face the room, but did not completely turn her back on me. "Both of them in there? Out here I can listen for anything if it's just Carlisle...but the two together? With Edward able to read Carlisle's thoughts?"

I don't think I had ever been so offended in my entire existence. The idea, the very _idea_ that Rosalie thought she needed to protect Bella from _me_?

Bella's eyes fixed on mine. "Edward's not going to try and…do anything right now. Are you, Edward."

It was a statement, not a question.

"You know I would rather die than hurt you, Bella," I choked out. The way she was looking at me, her eyes fearful…she had never looked at me that way before, not even when she first found out what I was.

"It's not you hurting _her_ that I'm worried about!" Rosalie snapped.

"No one is going to do anything or hurt anyone right now," Carlisle said calmly. "We're just investigating. No one is going to act rashly."

Rosalie opened her mouth to protest, but Carlisle held up a hand to stop her. "No, Rosalie, no arguing. There's no one else who can act as Bella's physician, so everyone is going to have to trust me. _Everyone_," he stressed, directing his gaze at me. "Now come in here, Edward, and close the door."

Rosalie scowled at me as I rushed past her. She called out, "I'll be right out here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere," just before I slammed the door in her face behind me.

It made me feel considerably better to see that Bella had her arms out to hug me before I even reached her side. Consciously reminding myself to be gentle, I clutched her to my chest. "Bella…"

"I'm sorry about all of that, Edward. I just…I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what you had planned for when we landed." She pulled away a little and looked up at me with eyes brimming with tears. "You were just so _angry_…"

The anger had certainly left me now. Other than my anger at Rosalie, of course…but I would deal with her later.

"I would never hurt you, Bella. I would never do anything to you…without your consent. But I can't let anything else hurt you, either. I _won't_…"

"We need to gather information before we get too worried about that, Edward," Carlisle interrupted before I could get too far down that path. He walked around to Bella's other side. "It's not helpful to panic." _Think of Bella, son. Don't make this any harder on her by overreacting._

_Easy for you to say_, I thought, but agreed that I didn't want Bella to feel any more anxious than she already did. And I certainly couldn't tolerate the idea that she was afraid of me in any way.

I took a deep breath and prepared to look at the situation rationally. Or at least try to.

"What have you learned?" I leaned up against the side of the examination table and put an arm behind Bella's shoulders. She looked up at me gratefully, and took my other hand in hers.

"Not much so far. I had barely gotten Bella up here on the exam table when you got here." Carlisle turned to Bella, his hand a few inches over her exposed stomach. "May I?"

"Of course. Whatever you need to do," she replied without hesitation.

He ran both palms over her abdomen, side to side, up and down, pressing gently with his fingertips. Then he put the stethoscope in his ears and began moving it in a similar fashion, searching. He seemed to find the spot he was looking for, and smiled slightly. "Definitely pregnant. I'm getting a heartbeat. It's quiet, but it's there…quite rapid, too."

"Quiet? Rapid?" Bella repeated, looking at him with wide eyes. "What does that mean? Is that good?"

"Well, I think the only reason it seems quiet is because of the placenta. I'm sure you've noticed how…well, how _hard_ your abdomen feels to the touch. I'll bet that the placenta is something like our skin. Vampire skin, I mean. So it's muffling the sound through the stethoscope. It's probably why none of us can hear it without the stethoscope the way we can hear your heartbeat, Bella."

Vampire skin. My love had somehow grown a layer of something freakishly like my horrific marble skin _inside_ her soft body. I bit my tongue to keep from gasping at the idea.

Bella, however, broke into a wide smile. "Of course. That makes sense." She held her free hand out for the stethoscope. "Can I listen?"

"Certainly." Carlisle smiled back and positioned the instrument in her ears, then held the other end in the same place on her stomach.

She listened intently for a moment, then broke into another wide smile. "There it is! Hello, baby!" Her voice was reverent, joyful. After another moment of listening, she took the earpieces out of her ears and pressed them into my hands. "Listen, Edward."

I couldn't keep my lower jaw from falling open slightly. I could not process the notion of this…_creature_ even having a heartbeat, much less listening to it beating insidiously away inside my wife, waiting to grow large enough to kill her in the process of fighting its way into the world.

But Bella's eyes were wide with her happiness and excitement. She wanted me to share this with her, and was not the least bit afraid for her own safety. As usual.

Carlisle shot me a look as I hesitated. _Go ahead, Edward._

I swallowed my revulsion and took the stethoscope carefully. _For her_, I thought to myself. _For her, for her._

I took a deep breath and listened.

There it was. Quite faint compared to a normal human heartbeat. And fast. Too fast. There was something wrong about that. It couldn't possibly be a sign of anything good. It was unnatural, all of it. As unnatural as _I_ was. As monstrous as I was.

Before I could pull the stethoscope from my ears, Bella's warm hand closed over my cold one once again and she squeezed my fingers. "Do you hear it?" she murmured hopefully. "That's your baby, Edward. _Our_ baby."

My jaw slackened again as I looked at her, her chocolate brown eyes shimmering with blissful tears. _Our baby._ The words rang through my head. I couldn't make sense of them. There was no way any of this was possible.

She shouldn't have been able to get pregnant by me.

But she had.

And it couldn't possibly be…just a baby.

Could it?

_Could it? _

Bella looked so radiantly happy, so pleased, so excited. It was hard not to be overtaken by her unmitigated joy. From the expression on his face, even Carlisle seemed to have been affected by it.

I was almost relieved when there was a soft knock at the door, interrupting the need for me to find something to say. I knew it was Rosalie before she spoke. "Bella? It's me, Rose. Can I…?" She turned the knob and eased the door open a few inches. "Can I…?"

The expression on my sister's face was unfathomable. For once, not arrogant, not haughty…just full of a deep, quiet need. Like she knew she was asking for a great privilege, and hoped for nothing more than to have her request granted.

Bella laughed lightly, swiping at her eyes with the back of her free hand. "Of course! Come in, come in!" She knew exactly what Rosalie wanted and reached for the stethoscope. Rosalie was at Bella's side with the instrument in her ears in less than a blink of an eye.

"Oh my God!" Rosalie's wind-chime laugh rang through the room after she had listened for a few moments. "There it is! Bella!"

"I know!" Bella laughed again, and gave my hand another squeeze. "Can you believe it? Isn't that amazing?"

Suddenly Alice materialized at the foot of the exam table. "Bella, if she gets to, surely _I_…"

"Wait your turn!" Rosalie retorted, but her voice was light, as good-natured as I had ever heard it. I was astonished to realize that for about the first time since I had known her, her thoughts were full of an overriding sense of pure joy. I was semi-aware that my jaw was now hanging open rather stupidly, but I could not seem to find the ability to close it.

Esme, Jasper and Emmett had all edged just inside the door. Emmett was thrilled by his wife's happiness, and Jasper was soaking all of the good feelings up like a sponge. Esme was beaming at all of us. She was next to slowly walk towards the exam table.

"I hope you don't mind, Bella…may we come in, too? It looks like this is the place to be right now."

"Of course I don't mind!" Bella laughed again. She was the center of attention, but for once, didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. "You can listen, too, if you want…Grandma."

It was a good thing my mouth was already open as far as it would go, or I think it would have hit the floor. Grandma? _Grandma!?_

I stared from face to face as my family took turns with the stethoscope, babbling to each other excitedly about what they heard. Emmett clapped me on the back and made some joke that involved the word _Daddy_, but I barely heard it.

I was too stunned.

Part of me wanted to strike out at them, push them away from Bella and scream at them to get hold of themselves. They were…_celebrating._ Celebrating a _disaster_. It was beyond tolerance. I couldn't comprehend how they could possibly be acting this way. They had read the legends! They knew the same things I knew!

But their thoughts told me why they were acting this way, down to the last one of them. Even Carlisle.

They had hope.

The legends were legends. In a sense, they were no different than any of the other legends…that we hated garlic…that we couldn't go into churches…that we burned in sunlight…none of which were true.

My family seemed to have decided that for now, at least, no one knew what the truth was yet. So they were choosing hope.

Alice caught my eye as this realization sunk in. _Enjoy this, Edward_, she thought, looking at me evenly_. I told you before, right now, there's no reason not to think this won't turn out okay. Better than okay. The best._ _Maybe you're being given a gift beyond your wildest dreams. It happens. Why not to you?_

Why not indeed?

I'd already been given one gift beyond my wildest dreams.

I glanced down to see that gift looking back at me with chocolate brown eyes brimming with love. She smiled tentatively, then more widely, and reached once again for my hand.

Suddenly overwhelmed, I instead wrapped my arms around her and clutched her to me, burying my nose in her hair so I could pepper the top of her head with kisses.

Maybe, just maybe…she would turn out to be right.


	9. Chapter 9: Perspective

"Have you had enough, Bella?" Rosalie asked, whisking Bella's empty plate away. "Do you need anything else to eat? We can…"

"God, no. I'm stuffed." Bella smiled and pushed back from the kitchen table, patting her stomach. "Thank you. And thank you for cooking, Edward," she added, turning her smile to me.

"Of course, love. Any time. Just tell me," I replied, reaching out to stroke her hair. She hadn't stopped smiling since listening to the…_baby's_ heart beat upstairs. Even when she was chewing, she had been smiling. I loved seeing her smile, but the reason behind it was still leaving me unsettled, to say the least.

Earlier, after the family had had their turns with the stethoscope, Carlisle had eventually shooed them all out of the room so that he could finish examining Bella. Still stunned and overwhelmed by everything I had heard and seen since getting off the airplane, I had barely paid attention to what he was doing as he poked, prodded, measured, and so forth. Even when he'd drawn a blood sample, I had hardly registered the pungent, delectable scent in the air. For her part, Bella had just beamed, and held my hand tightly in hers as Carlisle went about what he needed to do.

Impossible. All of this. Impossible. I couldn't seem to get past that, despite the evidence in front of me.

When he had finally finished, Carlisle exhaled and pulled off his latex gloves. "Well, I think that's all I can really do for today. I'm going to take these samples in to the lab in the morning to have some tests run, and hopefully they'll have the ultrasound machine I ordered ready for me to bring home. I should be able to get a picture of the baby that way and have a much better idea of what we're dealing with."

"A picture? Really?" Bella looked at him hopefully. "Will he show up already?"

"Assuming that the scan works through that placenta, I believe so. That's one of the mysteries here, Bella. While chronologically you can't be more than a couple of weeks pregnant, developmentally I'd say you're at the equivalent of about 18 weeks. I have no explanation for the accelerated rate, and nothing I've read has addressed that."

_No, of course not, _I had thought bitterly._ Those legends were more concerned with the horror of the creature clawing its way out of the womb to worry about describing the progress of the pregnancy itself_. I forcibly suppressed a shudder.

Carlisle had noticed my reaction. _Edward…_

Instead of completing the thought, he had spoken aloud to both of us. "That's going to be the biggest challenge here. We really have no clear idea of what to expect. It's not like this kind of pregnancy has ever been reported in any medical journals." He frowned slightly. "In fact, I have to apologize for my lack of foresight on the subject. It simply never occurred to me that a pregnancy was a possibility. I didn't know to warn you, to suggest birth control." While he had been aware of the legends, being fundamentally a man of science, he had always disregarded them as having as much basis in fact as the notion we had no reflection in mirrors. He looked up at me, and I could read the regret in his thoughts.

"Well, he's here now," Bella had said, rubbing her stomach gently. "Aren't you, baby?"

"What are we supposed to do next, Carlisle?" I had asked softly.

"I think all we can do is wait and see. I'll keep running what tests I can, do daily examinations – things could change quite quickly given the rate of development we're seeing. And I'll keep reading whatever I can get my hands on." He glanced down at Bella. "As long as Bella continues to feel well, I don't think there's any need to rush into anything…drastic."

"I feel fine," she stated without hesitation. "Hungrier and more tired than usual, but now that I know why, it's not bothering me. We're not going to do anything drastic." She had turned her face toward me and looked at me evenly. "We're _not_, Edward."

"Let's just not even worry about that right now, okay?" Carlisle had replied before I could say anything_. Just let her be for now, Edward_, he had added for my benefit. _We'll wait for the tests, see how things unfold over the next few days. _

I didn't like it, but I couldn't think of any way around it for the moment. I had managed a nod, and leaned over to place another kiss on the top of Bella's head. "Speaking of hungry, love. You haven't eaten since we were on the last plane. Can I make you something?"

As if on cue, her stomach had growled and she chuckled. "I wouldn't mind…"

So here we sat, in the kitchen where Bella had just eaten two grilled chicken breasts, a mound of whole wheat pasta, roasted vegetables, bread and two bowls of salad. Rosalie had still been at her post outside Carlisle's door when we'd left his office, and had followed us here, hovering over Bella the entire time I cooked and she ate.

_That _was going to go from annoying to extremely annoying in a big hurry.

Alice floated in the back door, Jasper and Emmett trailing behind her, fresh from a quick hunting trip. "Yay! Bella's out of her doctor's appointment! Now we can play!" She drifted over to where Bella sat. "Tell us about the island! Did you love it? What did you do there? What was your favourite part?"

Emmett snorted. "Isn't it obvious what they did there? I'd wager that her favourite _parts_ were all attached to Edward," he smirked, delighted when he saw Bella blush.

"That's not what I mean, you pig," Alice rolled her eyes.

"Maybe not, but it's still obvious that…"

"All right, all right," I held up a hand to stop that conversation in its tracks. I was hardly in the mood for joking about such things, especially in the circumstances. "You can grill Bella tomorrow, Alice. She's tired." I knew the heavy-lidded look that was on my wife's face now that she had eaten such a big meal, and was anxious myself for some alone time where I could just sit and think.

"Edward!" Alice whined. "You're not her mother. She can…"

Again as if on cue, Bella stifled a yawn. "Actually, he's right, Alice. It's been a long day. I wouldn't mind laying down for a while."

"I'll take you upstairs, Bella," Rosalie offered, immediately swooping over to her side.

"That's quite all right, Rosalie." I couldn't help scowling at her. "I've got that covered."

Rosalie scowled back. "How do I know you won't wait for her to fall asleep and then…"

"Oh, for God's sake!" I snapped. "Stop being crazy. I'm not going to harm a hair on her head and you know it."

"A hair on _her_ head maybe, but…"

"It's okay, Rose." Bella stood up and took my hand. "Really." She looked at me meaningfully. "I think Edward has calmed down now. It will be fine."

Rosalie glared at me. _I won't be far. And I'll be listening, Edward. _

I clenched my teeth together to avoid tearing a strip into Rosalie as I'd been dying to do since we'd gotten off the plane. Bella didn't need any more drama today. "Goodnight, everyone," I managed to half-growl instead, and led my wife upstairs to get ready for bed.

I was waiting for her in the large gold bed when she finished with her human time in the bathroom. I suppressed a sigh when I saw that she had emerged wearing yet another of her Alice honeymoon purchases, this one a red satin chemise with fitted bra cups which skimmed over her hips and the pair of red satin boy shorts she wore underneath. Even though I had thought on the island that I would never have another moment where I wasn't delighted to see my beautiful Bella dressed that way, tonight…there was no way I was in the mood for _that_.

Ignoring the look that must have been on my face, Bella slid under the covers and snuggled up next to me. She wrapped an arm around my chest and buried her face in my neck. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to break in this bed?"

"I thought you were tired," I said, putting an arm around her but making no move to follow her lead.

"I was until I saw this glorious bed again. Anyway, it was also an excuse to get you back to myself for a little while." She placed a few soft kisses along the side of my neck and exhaled a soft, warm breath into my ear. On the island, it hadn't taken her long to discover that doing that was a quick and certain way to get my…attention.

Now, however, I caught her hand as she slid it down my chest toward the waistband of my pajama pants. "Bella…"

"What?" she asked innocently, and threw one of her legs over mine so she could snuggle closer and reach my lips. She kissed me lightly, then again more deeply, allowing her tongue to press against my lower lip. When she breathed into my mouth, I couldn't keep from shivering a good sort of shiver.

"Really…in your…uh…condition? I don't think it's a good idea."

She shook off my hand where it held hers in place, and continued her path down my chest, then to my hip and the outside of my thigh. "I've _been_ in this 'condition' for a couple of weeks, Edward. It didn't stop you yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day…"

"Yes, well, we didn't _know_ then, did we?" I frowned.

"So what? The point is, I wasn't harmed in the process, so you have no basis for objecting. I feel pretty much the same right now as I did two nights ago."

I caught her hand again before it could trace its way up to my crotch, and held it firmly this time. "Well, it doesn't seem right to me."

"Oh, come on. Like Carlisle said, at the rate I'm going I'm going to be as big as a whale in another week. We need to take advantage of the time we have while I can still fit into these lovely nighties." She gestured toward her outfit and gave me her best attempt at a sexy pout.

Those goddamn nighties. And the way the shade of red of _this_ one set off her pale skin and dark hair…the way the bra cups hugged and boosted her cleavage…

I gave my head a little shake. "Bella…"

"Women still have sex when they're pregnant, Edward. Even _I _know that. Renee used to subscribe to a lot of women's magazines. In fact, some women find themselves even _more_ inclined to…"

"Bella, no," I said, in what I hoped was a firm voice. The idea that she could possibly want it _more_ than she had on the island had me momentarily distracted.

She exhaled loudly through her nose in exasperation. "Edward, I am _so sick_ of hearing you say that, I swear I could start screaming."

"Oh, great idea. Rosalie will be in here in about two seconds, and at least I'll have an excuse to knock her through the window." I hoped she heard me say that.

Bella pulled away slightly so she could see my face. "Is _that_ what this is about? Are you still mad at me for…"

"No, Bella, that's not what this is about." I frowned, wishing I didn't have to say it out loud, that she just could have curled up at my side and gone to sleep. I wasn't sure how much more drama I could handle myself today. "It's about the fact that we have absolutely no idea what in the hell is happening to your body right now. It could be a disaster, and the idea of engaging in the…_conduct_ that got us – _you_ – into this situation just does not appeal to me right now."

She looked at me quietly for a moment. "Edward," she said finally, "you really, _really_ have got to work on your guilt issues. Not everything that happens to me is your fault, and you can't _fix_ everything."

"How can you possibly say that _this_ one is not my fault?" I snapped, frustrated by her nonchalance.

"For one thing, because there were two of us in the room when it happened. Neither of us knew it was possible, _no one_ did! No one is to blame, here. And anyway…" her eyebrows came together in a frown. "Is this really such a terrible thing? I mean…I'm actually pretty darn excited. I was shocked at first, sure. But…this is _our_ baby, Edward."

"That's just it, Bella! We don't know _what_ this is! Baby? It could be a monster! It could _kill_ you! And that _is_ my fault. Because it's the part that's _me_ that's the problem. The part that's you is normal, natural…But the part that's _me_…That will be what kills you!" I pushed away from her and jumped out of the bed so I could pace back and forth, trying to direct some energy into that so that I didn't start yelling in exasperation. Or tearing apart the furniture.

She sat back on her heels and just watched me for a few minutes. "Edward."

_Pace…pace…pace…_

"Edward. Please stop that and look at me."

_Pace…pace…pace…_

"Edward! Please."

With a sigh I stopped across from her but did not move back towards the bed. She was looking at me calmly. "I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself with this, but here it goes again. I want you to _listen_ this time."

I couldn't reply. It was enough of an effort not to resume pacing.

"Are you listening?" When she was satisfied I was, she pressed ahead. "I do not now nor have I ever considered you or any part of you in any way a monster. Exactly the opposite, in fact. I've always thought of you as my personal angel. I love you more than is reasonable or rational. I love you more than anyone, anything. And it's _because_ this baby is part of you that I'm so excited about it."

She paused as if to let that sink in. "This is something I thought we would never share, Edward, but I was content to accept that if it was part of getting to be with you. Instead, we're being given this crazy, unexpected chance. I just can't consider that a bad thing. I can't. I will go through whatever I need to to bring this baby, _our baby_, into the world. He's part of you. That means I love him the way that I love you. So I can't _not_ be happy about that, the way I'm deliriously happy every time I look at your face. It's all one and the same now." Again, a pause. "Can't you at least try to see that?"

My heart swelled automatically at her words. How could it not? It was beyond my ability to control it, to moderate my reaction or to find some way to discount what she had said. For the millionth time it hit me that this woman loved me more than I could ever possibly deserve. But I reveled in it. I needed it the way I needed blood to exist. Maybe more.

I swallowed over the lump in my throat. "But Bella…if it hurts you…" I choked out, unable to complete the thought.

"You heard Carlisle. Don't worry about that now!" She shook her head dismissively. "Think of it this way instead, just for a minute: what if you knew, one hundred per cent for sure, that nothing bad would happen? What if that was off the table and the only thing you had to think about was _my wife is having my baby_? How would you react then? Would it be a good thing to you?"

I thought back to my human life, what my hopes and dreams had been for after I completed my military service. I pictured Bella, dressed in a long skirt and creamy, high-necked blouse like the kind my mother had worn.

I pictured her standing on the porch of our home in the sunshine, watching me cross the yard toward her, one hand on her softly swollen abdomen.

I pictured her with a baby in her arms, quietly singing a lullaby as she rocked it to sleep.

I pictured a small child – a girl, with long, dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, clad in a frilly white dress – tottering across a patch of green grass and into my waiting arms.

A good thing? It would be…_everything_. Everything I ever wanted.

"Oh, Bella," I breathed, and felt my eyes pinch where tears would have welled up if I had them. As soon as I moved back to the bed, she launched herself toward me and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, cradling her head to my chest.

"You see?" she murmured against my skin. "That's how _I_ see it."

I felt like I couldn't get physically close enough to her, like I would melt or explode if we didn't get rid of the clothes between us immediately, if I couldn't be inside her, possessing every inch of her and melding her body with mine.

Like those which had come before it, the red satin nightie was soon reduced to scraps thrown to the foot of the bed. More conscious than ever of not injuring my beautiful bride, I kissed every patch of skin reverently, stroked the same spots gently, worshipping with my cool fingers. She let me go as slowly as I wanted, patiently watching me with a small smile when I got to her midsection and carefully explored the hard, subtle bulge with lips and hands. When I rubbed it tenderly as she had done, a tear spilled down her cheek.

And despite the continuing need for caution, we made love to each other for hours with the same passion I feared had been left behind on the island, before the events of the past two days.

When she finally fell asleep in my arms, I passed the time thinking of dark haired babies with chocolate brown eyes.

I had been wrong. I had a soul. It was right here in bed beside me.


	10. Chapter 10: Resolve

After that, I tried not to brood. Really, I did…at least at first.

I had developed an appreciation for Bella's point of view that first night back, and tried to keep those images firmly in mind whenever I looked at her. Her sense of bliss and satisfaction was almost palpable, enhancing her soft, natural beauty. Her swollen abdomen got noticeably fuller by the day, and she often rubbed it gently, murmuring or singing in a low voice. Since even her nausea had passed, she was the picture of contentment. When she gazed at me lovingly with the quiet smile that now rarely left her face, it was difficult not to see things her way.

And then I would remember what I was.

I would remember that this was _not_ a human baby, about to be born into early twentieth century Chicago.

I would remember that whatever this was, it was half vampire.

I would remember that we still didn't know what that would mean, either for it, or for Bella.

I would remember the legends.

I would remember the look on Kaure's face.

I would remember that last, single word she had spoken: _morte_.

And I was terrified.

It was all I could do to keep my terror from Bella, not to disturb her peace and happiness by insisting that we take action without delay to ensure her safety above all else. I had agreed to give it a few days and see how matters unfolded, and I would stick by that agreement no matter how thinly it stretched my sanity.

At first there had been no cause for immediate alarm.

I watched Bella like a hawk for the slightest sign that her condition was worsening, but other than the fact that her abdomen continued to swell every day and she continued to eat and sleep at least as much as she had on the island, if not more, she appeared stable.

Carlisle examined her each morning and seemed as satisfied as he could be with what he was seeing, given the extraordinary circumstances. The tests he had run at the hospital lab hadn't turned up anything that caused him any particular concern, although I knew that he wasn't sure what he should be looking for anyway. He had brought the ultrasound machine home, but as he had feared, it was unable to produce any kind of an image through the marble-like placenta. Bella had been quite disappointed about that one, but contented herself by regularly borrowing Carlisle's stethoscope.

It amazed me how much time both she and Rosalie could spend listening through that thing. She tried to get me to listen, too, but I begged off. Every time I heard the quick _thump-tha-thump-tha-thump_, it sounded to me like a clock, ticking off Bella's last minutes with alarming celerity.

Bella also reported feeling what she described as a 'nudge' from inside her every now and then, but no one else could feel anything from the outside of that placenta. I had been quietly grateful for that fact myself; I wasn't sure I could handle feeling the movement of God only knew what kind of creature from inside my wife's fragile human body.

And Rosalie was never far from her side. Since Bella had reassured her that it was okay, that she believed I wouldn't try to do anything rash, Rosalie tried to be subtle about lurking around us and listening for the slightest sign of trouble. It was slightly better than it had been at first; at Emmett's urging (after I convinced him that I was going to tie Rosalie to a tree far, far into the forest in another state if she didn't let up), she had started to give us a pretence of occasional privacy by moving out of our _direct_ line of sight now and then.

But I knew from her thoughts that she didn't quite trust me.

We had lived together too long. She knew me too well.

Her presence didn't cease to irritate me, but in a way I didn't have the heart to do much about it, at least for the time being. It was too clear from her thoughts that in addition to her assumed role as the…_baby's_ protector, she really just wanted to experience a pregnancy. Shadowing Bella was as close as she would ever get.

There were many reasons for me not to have much sympathy for Rosalie, but knowing that, watching how much Bella was enjoying being pregnant and knowing how badly Rosalie wanted that above all else for herself…I would have had to be a cold-hearted bastard indeed not to let her experience it in the only way she could.

Unfortunately, things changed. Quickly.

"Edward, I could swear Alice is avoiding me," Bella said one morning, frowning while she chewed a mouthful of yet another plate of scrambled eggs. At this rate, there was going to be a world-wide shortage of eggs before this…_baby_ was ever born. In the four days we'd been back, we'd already gone through over two dozen, and it's not like there was anyone else in the house eating them.

I glanced over to where she sat at the breakfast counter, munching away thoughtfully while I loaded the dishwasher.

"I'm sure that's not the case, love. You're imagining things."

"She's barely been in the same room with me since the day before yesterday. If I go where she is, she finds an excuse to leave."

I thought back over the last 48 hours, but really hadn't noticed anything unusual where Alice or any of the rest of my family were concerned...other than Rosalie's constant _hovering_, of course, which was rather hard to miss.

"Why don't you just go read her mind for Bella and find out for sure?" Rosalie said as she sauntered into the kitchen from her perch in the next room. Speak of the devil. As usual, she hadn't been more than about four feet away from Bella. "It's not like you don't pick our brains on a regular basis for your convenience."

I growled quietly under my breath. As if _she_ should point fingers at the moment with respect to anyone invading anyone else's privacy.

The truth was, I had been making a conscious effort to block out my family's thoughts since our first day back home. Either they were consumed with…_baby_ thoughts and baby plans, or they were troubled by fears as to the ultimate outcome of Bella's pregnancy, neither of which I could tolerate. I had enough going on in my own mind, and more than enough thoughts of my own to paralyze me with worry.

I paused a moment to search out Alice's mind, and found her with Jasper in their bedroom upstairs, stretched out and reading a romance novel while he flipped through a magazine. Ugh. I didn't know how she could stand those things. Such silly, mindless drama.

No doubt she could have heard us talking down here, but she hadn't been listening; she was engrossed in her book. There was nothing else on her mind at the moment.

"It doesn't seem to me as though…" I started to say, but was interrupted when Bella suddenly clutched her side and doubled over, a loud "OH!" escaping from between her lips.

Rosalie and I were both instantly beside her. "Bella? Bella, love, what happened?" I demanded, slipping an arm around her shoulders to support her in her chair.

"Oh my…" she gasped, but slowly straightened up. "I think…I think my little nudger just turned into a little kicker." Her eyes were wide, blinking back pain.

"Did the baby just kick you?" Rosalie asked. I couldn't help glaring at her. Her thoughts were focused on the kicking, not the least bit on any pain that might have been caused to Bella.

"Yeah…and it was a good one, too. Right here…" She lifted up the side of the t-shirt she wore, an old one of mine large enough to cover her distended belly. So far, she'd refused to touch the frilly maternity clothes Alice had somehow found time to buy.

I couldn't suppress a gasp. Already visible against her pale, stretched skin were the beginnings of a bruise, at least an inch in diameter. The bluish purple colour seemed to deepen and spread as we watched.

I'd certainly never heard of such a thing happening to the mother of a human baby.

My jaw hung open as I reached out to gently touch the angry-looking welt. "Bella…"

She let the hem of the shirt fall and sat up quickly. "Oh, Edward. It's nothing. Babies kick, that's all." She seemed a little breathless, but was clearly doing her best to shrug off the pain and surprise.

"Not like _that_."

"Oh, how would you know?" Rosalie snapped impatiently. "Of course this baby is a little stronger than most. He's half-vampire. That should be no surprise."

"Maybe not to _you_, you sick…" I started to hiss at my sister, but was interrupted when Alice and Jasper both entered the room.

"What's going on?" Alice asked, frowning. "We heard Bella yell."

"I didn't _yell_," Bella protested. Her eyes darted toward me. "It wasn't that bad."

"The baby kicked and Edward thinks it's the end of the world," Rosalie sniffed. She looked at Bella hopefully. "Is he still kicking, Bella?" She was wondering whether she could feel _that_ through the placenta, since she hadn't been able to feel any of the 'nudges'.

"No…moving around a little, maybe…or else that's my breakfast," Bella smiled a little and put a hand over her stomach. "Speaking of which…I don't suppose there are any more eggs left?"

I shook my head a little to clear it. She had just been assaulted from inside her own body and she wanted more _eggs_? She was inscrutable.

"Uh…I…that was the last of them, love. Esme's just gone out for more groceries this morning," I managed to reply.

"I'll make you something else, Bella," Rosalie offered. "How about some toast? I think there's sausage in the freezer. I could thaw that out, too."

"Mmm. That sounds good. Thanks." Bella reached out to grab my hand and give it a squeeze. "I'm fine, Edward. Really. Just hungry."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that. I had scrambled six eggs for her already.

This just wasn't…normal.

Instead, I turned to Alice. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

_Sure. _

I led the way to the back door, pausing only to give Bella a quick kiss on the top of her head. "I'll be right back, love."

Jasper followed along behind, guessing that his special brand of influence might be of some assistance with the way I was feeling: on the edge of hysteria.

When we had walked a little way into the forest, out of Rosalie's earshot, I gave Alice a long, searching look. "Alice…are you still unable to…see anything about…this? About Bella? Or…is it just that there's something you don't want to tell me?"

She answered out loud for Jasper's benefit. "I'm getting nothing, Edward. You should be able to tell that for yourself."

"Well, it's not like you don't have your ways of keeping me from knowing what you're thinking." She had all kinds of tricks. Reciting the Cyrillic alphabet. Singing the Korean national anthem over and over again in her mind. Quoting long passages of James Joyce.

I hated James Joyce.

"I'm not using any of them now," she replied. She deliberately opened her mind and I could immediately see she was telling the truth. She had nothing.

"And don't think I haven't been trying. Or that it isn't frustrating the hell out of me. I hate having no control," she added, a frown creasing her forehead.

"It gives her headaches, Edward. Bad ones," Jasper piped in. He reached out to gently stroke her hair.

That was true, too. But the headaches weren't being caused by the effort of Alice trying to force an image. They were caused by being around Bella herself.

That made the panic wash over me. _What in the name of God was happening to her? _

"It's like I told you when you first got back, Edward. Ever since Bella decided she wanted to keep the baby, her future just went blurry. Everything about her. I can see you, all of us, continuing to live in our house here in Forks, for example." She hesitated, unsure if she should finish what she was about to say.

Of course, I just picked it out of her mind anyway. _I can't see if she's with us. I can't see if there's a child._

Gone? She was gone from our future?

I felt like I had been punched in the solar plexus. I was breathless, struggling for the air I didn't even need. I was actually dizzy.

I hadn't felt this way since Rosalie had called to tell me Bella had thrown herself off a cliff.

I must have visibly swayed on my feet, because Jasper suddenly had his arm around me to guide me to a seat on a nearby log. I could feel him throwing waves of calm at me, but they were doing little good. With great effort, I choked out the obvious question. "Then…She must…they both must…be _dead_. Right?" My voice sounded strange in my ears, as if someone else were forming the unimaginable words.

"No. _No._ There's no reason to think that." Alice sat down beside me and grabbed both of my hands in hers. "You know why I say that, Edward?" She locked her gaze with mine earnestly. She was probably thinking the answer to her own question, but I couldn't focus enough to find it in her mind.

"I say that because I see _you_ there. If she were…_gone_…I don't think you would be. If you know what I mean."

She was right. I wouldn't live without her. That much was certain.

I frowned anyway as I tried to process that, reason it through. "But doesn't that just mean that I haven't made that decision yet? The decision to…die too? Because she isn't dead…yet?"

"Maybe, but I think it also means that you don't have a reason to make that decision, Edward. Because that part of the future isn't set yet."

I still couldn't process that. It didn't make any sense.

"Edward, I think what Alice is saying is that she just can't tell how it's going to turn out with Bella. So we're in no different position right now than we were an hour ago, or two days ago," Jasper volunteered.

He shot another wave of calm toward me, but now I just felt frustrated. "Well, we _would_ know how it's going turn out if we could just deal with this and get it over with already."

"She's not going to let you do that," Alice shook her head. "You know that. She wants this baby."

"She's not thinking clearly!" I snapped, jumping to my feet. "She can't sacrifice herself for the off chance that this _thing_ won't kill her! I'll _make_ her see it."

"Edward, you can't control everything," my sister said quietly. "Bella is her own person."

"She'll listen to me. I'll make her listen."

_Edward…_They both called after me soundlessly, but I was already halfway back to the house.

When I arrived, I was surprised to find that Carlisle was there, in the middle of the day when he was supposed to be on shift at the hospital. He, Esme and Emmett had joined Bella and Rosalie in the kitchen.

He had come home because he wanted to try an amniocentesis, and he had finally obtained the equipment he would need. Rosalie was arguing with him. "…I've read about this, Carlisle. It can be dangerous for the baby. I don't think it's a good idea, not when we know so little about him."

"That's the point, Rosalie," Carlisle replied quietly. "I need information. I can't do an ultrasound, the other tests aren't telling me anything that isn't obvious…I need to know what we're dealing with, here."

Bella was in the same seat at the counter, looking back and forth between the two of them with a frown creasing her forehead, a hand still draped across her stomach.

"But you could _hurt_ him in the process!" Rosalie turned to Bella. "You don't want that, right, Bella?"

"Of course not," she murmured. "No."

When I got to her side, she glanced up at me gratefully, clearly glad to see me back. I slipped an arm around her and pulled her close. "Nothing dangerous, right, Edward? Carlisle wants to…"

"I know, I heard." My lips pressed together in a tight line. Alice's vision of a future without Bella in it had been a fresh reminder of what I had known was inevitable from the beginning. I had been humouring my wife. I had let her unfailing, unreasonable optimism cause me to question my resolve.

But now…it was time to deal with this before it was too late, too advanced. Before something happened that we weren't prepared for, that we couldn't handle.

I looked down into Bella's eyes. Warm chocolate. But tired. Faint circles were starting to appear under them as if she hadn't slept in a week, even though she had slept 14 hours last night alone. How had I missed that? Was I imagining it now? Had her cheeks become slightly sallow, sunken?

My resolve hardened.

"Bella…" I began carefully. She wasn't going to like what I had to say, but I had to make her see reason. It occurred to me that we should perhaps have this conversation in private, but it wasn't as though my family wouldn't hear us talking anyway. I also wanted their support in this. I knew Rosalie would argue, but she would be the only one.

"Edward…" her frown returned. She didn't like something that was already apparent on my face. "Nothing dangerous. Right?"

"Bella…I think it's time we look at this objectively, reasonably. We've given Carlisle a chance to examine you, to assess the situation and try to do some research. They've _all_ been trying to research." I gestured at the rest of my family. Alice and Jasper had also now returned from the woods.

"No one can find anything," I continued. "What we _have_ found has all been negative, to say the least. All of the accounts that are available all end only one way. The _worst_ way." I reached up to stroke the side of her face. "I can't lose you that way, Bella. I _won't_."

Her hand automatically rubbed her swollen abdomen. "Those are just stories, Edward," she said quietly. "We all agreed on that. No one knows for sure."

"Maybe, but the risk is there. And now that the…you're being _kicked_, with enough force to cause bruising on the outside of your skin…I think that gives us enough of an idea of what we're dealing with here. It's too strong for you. We have to…we have to deal with this before it gets worse. Before there's permanent damage. Before it's too late."

"'_Deal_ with this'?" she repeated, her eyes widening. "What are you saying, Edward?" She looked over toward Alice and Jasper. "Alice? What is he saying? What were you guys talking about out there? Have you seen something?"

Alice shook her head sadly. "No. Nothing, Bella. I have no information either way."

Bella now turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle?" Her voice rose an octave. "No one knows for sure. So there's no need to worry, right?"

Carlisle glanced over toward me. He was on side with me, I realized gratefully. The risk of the unknown was just too heavy in this situation. "Bella, the risk is great. Very great. And I didn't know about this bruising…"

"It just happened this morning. It was nothing." Reflexively, she yanked up the side of her t-shirt again to show him, but the sight made almost all of us gasp out loud: the bluish bruise had now turned a purple so deep it was almost black. And it had been joined by another bruise the same horrid colour, a few inches below the first one. There had been another violent kick and she hadn't even said anything about it.

At our reaction, she yanked the shirt down just as quickly. "It was nothing," she insisted.

"Oh, Bella." Esme reached a hand out to squeeze Bella's gently. The motherly concern was etched into her face.

"Bella…" I pressed ahead, cupping her chin with my hand so she would look at me again. "Your body is too fragile for this. Surely you see that now. It's time to stop it."

"No."

"_No!_" Bella's firm 'no' was followed by Rosalie's shriek. "Bella! You _can't_! You'll regret it the rest of your life…the rest of your _existence_, if this is what you still choose. Trust me!"

"_You_ shut the hell up," I growled at my sister, low and deadly. "This isn't about you, and it's not your decision."

"It's not yours, either! It's _her_ body! You may think you can control the whole world, but it's _her_ body!" Rosalie was ready to lunge at me, but Emmett had grabbed her arm.

"She is not going to die for this, Rosalie," I snarled. "I won't have it. It's not an option. You may think she's expendable, but I certainly do not."

"Carlisle, you won't actually consider doing this, will you?" Still struggling against Emmett's grasp, Rosalie turned to Carlisle now. "You took an oath! You promised to protect life!"

"That includes Bella's life, Rosalie." Carlisle sighed, and I could tell from his thoughts that he had already spent a considerable part of the last few days thinking this through. He didn't like it either, but was coming to believe that there would be no other choice, whether today or five days from now. "The risk to Bella is too great."

"But I choose to assume that risk," Bella stated flatly. "It's my choice. I made it a week ago, or however long it's been. I haven't changed my mind. I'm not going to change my mind."

"Bella, you're not thinking reasonably," I told her.

"Don't tell me how I'm thinking, Edward. You don't know how I'm thinking."

How well I knew _that_.

"You don't want to die, Bella. Surely you don't." I looked at her searchingly and saw only her own resolve. She could be stubborn, too.

Shamelessly, I reached for the only weapon I could think of, the only thing that might make her reconsider. "You don't want to leave me, do you Bella? I couldn't stand it. I couldn't." My voice broke on the last word.

She sucked in a deep breath. I had hit home. She couldn't be the cause of my pain any more than I could be the cause of hers.

I saw her swallow heavily. It took her a moment, but she straightened her shoulders and sat upright in her chair. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to die either, at least not…permanently."

She glanced around the room from face to face. "Look, we already knew that my transformation was going to happen soon. That became non-negotiable long ago. The only thing that's changed is that I'll have this baby first. If at some point it starts to go…badly…I mean, _really_ badly, for the worst, Edward can step in and start the process before I'm…gone. All I need to do is get to the point when the baby is big enough to be born. I can do that. I _will_ do that."

Only Rosalie visibly relaxed. Everyone else was exchanging looks, not sure what to make of Bella's words at first. Then, as they considered it, their thoughts tended toward her point of view once again, just like they had that first day we had arrived back. _Sounds reasonable…so brave…could work…was planning to change anyway…really wants this baby…seems to have thought it through…venom should be able to act in time…_

"_No!_" I roared at them, stepping back to look at them. They couldn't honestly be considering this! "This is Russian roulette! There's _no way_ I'm taking this kind of chance. Not with her _life_!"

"I don't see where you have a choice, Edward," Rosalie retorted.

This time it was my turn to lunge. "I thought I _told_ you to _shut the hell…_" For the third time, Jasper and Emmett had me before I could get to her throat.

"Edward!" I heard Esme say sharply. "Stop that!"

"This is ridiculous! Why are we even discussing this?" I demanded, now the one to struggle against the firm restraints of my brothers' hands. "Carlisle, you must have anaesthetic available. We'll just…"

"Are you _serious?!_" Rosalie snarled. "You love her so much, yet you'd actually think of knocking her out against her will and just cutting her open to…"

"No!" Bella shouted, wrenching herself to her feet. "No one is doing that! Do I have to leave this house?"

"Of course not, Bella." Esme was at her side, a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"_I _will protect you, Bella, both of you, just like I told you I would," Rosalie stated. "It will be over my dismembered body that anyone does anything like that to you."

Rosalie's dismembered body. God help me, that was starting to sound good right about now.

"And I'll help her."

I stopped trying to pull away from Jasper and Emmett and gaped at Esme. Carlisle, too, was looking at her in surprise. She looked at us both evenly from her place next to my wife.

"I know how you feel, Edward, and I hate to see you this way," she continued. "But it's her choice. I can't stand by and watch anyone do such a thing to her against her will. It's not right."

I turned toward Carlisle and found that he was simply nodding, even though his eyes were on my face. _They're right, Edward. She would never forgive you – or me – for that. Ever._

_Sorry, bro'…_Emmett was the next to cast a thought toward me. _I have to side with them on this one. If I didn't, Rosalie would never forgive _me_, either._

Four – _five_ – against one. I didn't even bother to see where Alice and Jasper would throw their support. It didn't matter.

There was nothing left to say. Shrugging out Jasper's and Emmett's grasp, now loosened, I stormed into the living room and released my fury on the first thing I could get my hands on – the plasma TV. It crashed to the floor in pieces just as I launched myself out the front door, running into the night.

The last words I heard were from Emmett: "My TV? _Again?_"


	11. Chapter 11: Bargain

It was late – or early – when I finally returned to the house. Since it was overcast as usual, the night sky was pitch black, no light from the moon or stars able to permeate the ever-present cloud cover.

I could see artificial lights glowing from certain rooms, where my family members were situated going about their various night time activities. Still not in the mood to face them, I scrambled up the outside wall to slip in the window of my – _our_ – bedroom.

Bella was fast asleep in the large gold bed, curled into a ball on 'her' side of the mattress. Squeezed over to the edge that way, she looked even smaller and the bed looked even larger than usual.

I climbed on top of the bedcovers beside her and gently lifted her head into my lap, careful not to wake her. Just as gently, I reached down to brush her hair back from her face. As always when she slept quietly, not speaking in her sleep, she looked so peaceful, so serene.

Not for the first time, I wished I could slide into sleep and enjoy a few hours of unconsciousness myself, free from my tormenting thoughts.

_I hear you in there, Edward. I'm listening, so don't try anything. _Rosalie's mental voice came from the room she shared with Emmett, a few doors down the hall.

I hissed, annoyed not only with her continued interference, but also with the fact that she assumed for a moment I hadn't already known her ears had perked up when she heard me climb the wall and through the window. She, of all people, did not have a mind that was particularly difficult to read.

"Yes, Rosalie, I know that," I muttered, just loudly enough for her to hear me. "Whatever would Bella do without _you_ to protect her from _me_?"

_It's not her who needs protecting from you, Edward. It's…_

"Oh, enough, already," I snarled in a low voice. "I know exactly where your interests lie. Spare me."

I cursed under my breath when Bella stirred in my arms, even more annoyed with Rosalie now that her meddling had caused me to disturb my wife from the sleep so clearly needed.

"Edward?" she murmured, her voice still thick with her deep slumber.

"Yes, love, it's just me. It's okay. Go back to sleep," I said softly, stroking her warm cheek with my cold fingers.

She shifted in my lap so she could look up at me, forcing herself to blink awake. "Where have you been? When did you get back?"

"Just a few minutes ago. I was in the forest, running. Hunting." The one high point in my evening had been when I'd come across a particularly large male mountain lion stalking a doe with her fawn near a small stream. Unfortunately for him, he had been the recipient of my deflected wrath.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry I woke you. You should go back to sleep."

Ignoring that, she struggled to pull herself a little more upright so she could lean against my chest. She had more trouble with the movement than usual because of her fatigue and her displaced center of gravity. Automatically, it seemed, one of her hands fluttered down to rub her new center of gravity.

God help me, her belly looked even more swollen now than when I had left a few hours ago.

She appeared to have seen something in my expression and sighed. "Edward. I wish you wouldn't be this way. I understand it, but…" Her voice trailed off sadly as she continued to rub her stomach.

"But what?" I asked irritably. "You think I should be okay with you risking your life in this manner? I should be _happy_ about it perhaps?"

Now she frowned. I wasn't usually short with her like that.

"Well, no…I just wish you wouldn't see it that way. I mean, all I need to do is hang on long enough for him to be born and…"

"You make it sound so easy," I huffed, interrupting. Her apparent nonchalance with all of this was really starting to wear on me.

"You don't think I can do this?"

"I don't think _any_ human can do this."

"You don't know that," she stated flatly, her chin jutting out in the way it always did when she was being stubborn. "I mean, I'm not an idiot, Edward. I know it won't be easy, and I know there's risk. Not only have you and Carlisle made that abundantly clear, I'm the one who has ballooned into a whale in a matter of weeks. I'm the one who can't stop eating or sleeping, and who keeps getting booted in the gut."

I straightened up, alarmed. "Has something else happened?"

"No, no…" She waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing has changed from before. I'm only trying to point out that you shouldn't think I don't know what I'm into, here. It's just that I happen to think the risk is worth it. For _our baby_, Edward."

"That's just it, Bella," I sighed. "We don't even know what kind of creature this is going to be…"

Now she scowled and smacked at my shoulder. "Edward Cullen, you will not call your child a 'creature', do you hear me? It's a baby, just a baby, and he's going to be beautiful. Just like you."

_Just like me._ That was exactly what I was afraid of.

I suppressed a shudder.

"Anyway, Edward," she continued. "_I_ am confident I can do this. I only need to hang on long enough for him to be born, and then however bad it is, you can step in and change me. I mean, I can't possibly be worse off then than Esme was after jumping off a cliff, or Emmett after that bear got him, can I?"

God only knew. "You have too much faith in me as usual, Bella. You're too optimistic about what I can do."

"And you have too _little_ faith, Edward." She rested her cheek on my shoulder and twined the fingers of her right hand with my left. "You'd think after all we've been through and how far we've come, you'd have a little more."

That shut me up.

We were silent for a few moments as I chewed that over. I was starting to think she had fallen back asleep until she spoke. "Actually, Edward, we have a more immediate issue to deal with."

What now? I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

She must have felt me tense under her. "Relax, it's nothing terrible. It's just Charlie. And Renee. They're expecting us back from our honeymoon any day now. Obviously they can't see me like this. What are we going to do about them?"

Hmm. A good point. Renee could be handled with a phone call, but Charlie would want to see his daughter eventually. We couldn't just pretend to stay on the island indefinitely, or to have left for New Hampshire without saying goodbye.

Sooner or later he'd come to the house asking questions.

"I don't know, Bella. I'll have to think about that. I'll discuss it with Carlisle, and Alice. If Carlisle doesn't have any ideas, maybe Alice will have seen something. And if not, she relates well to Charlie. She may have an idea herself."

"Okay. But we have to come up with something soon." She reached a hand up to cover her mouth as she yawned.

"You need to go back to sleep, love." Even in the darkness I could see how tired she looked. She didn't argue when I moved her gently so she was laying back down, but wrapped an arm around me and put her head back in my lap.

"Stay with me?" she murmured sleepily, nestling herself into a comfortable position.

"Of course. Always," I told her, and started to hum her lullaby.

She was asleep before I got through the third bar.

***

Things went downhill quickly after that.

Carlisle continued to examine Bella every day, and every day her abdomen grew noticeably larger. By his calculations, her pregnancy was progressing approximately eight or nine times faster than a normal human pregnancy. He had no explanation as to why.

This accelerated rate of development might have been a particular point of concern if it hadn't been overshadowed by the other problems.

Not only was Bella constantly exhausted, sleeping anywhere from 12 to 18 or more hours per day, she was still constantly hungry. Half the time she was awake, she was eating, but all of the nutrition appeared to be absorbed by the crea…_fetus _she was carrying. Her hair quickly became limp, her skin paler than usual, her face drawn and shadowed as though she were on some radical starvation diet…or had just escaped from a prison camp. While her midsection distended and swelled, the rest of her seemed to get smaller and smaller as the fetus took everything and left her nothing.

And then there was the kicking.

As the fetus grew, it became more and more active, and kicked her fragile human body from the inside more and more often.

Bella being Bella, she tried to keep me from worrying by saying nothing when this occurred, trying simply to let it pass without acknowledging it. Every once in a while, though, she couldn't help but at least flinch, and when she happened to slip and allow me a glimpse of her stomach under her clothing…

The sight was appalling. Her swollen abdomen was grotesque with the pattern of bruises against her fair skin, each deeper and more purple-black than the last.

I felt like I was coming apart at the seams.

My soft, delicate, human wife was disintegrating before my eyes, the life force being sucked out of her by the thing she carried, the thing she still sang to and spoke to as lovingly as if it weren't eating her alive.

And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I tried talking to her, I tried reasoning with her…I tried _pleading_ with her, my body wracked with sobs as I begged her not to do this to herself, not to risk taking herself away from me when she'd promised me forever.

Her heart broke to see me that way, I could see it in her eyes. She did her best to comfort me and reassure me, but she remained steadfast.

She _could_ do this. She _would_ do this. It was not open to negotiation.

I continued to try and think of a way to _make_ her see reason, to _make_ her do what I wanted. I tried to think of ways to grab her and force the thing out of her body in some way that wouldn't end up with her hating me forever. God help me, I even thought about doing it even if she _did_ hate me forever – because at least that way she would still be alive.

I might have tried, but as my desperation grew and my sanity stretched thinner and thinner, Rosalie stayed closer and closer, seldom leaving Bella's side for more than a half hour at a time. She encouraged Bella, assuring her that she could do it, she was strong enough… And then when she _did _venture away, she left Emmett or Esme in her place, both of whom were apologetic for siding against me but firm in siding with the choice Bella had made.

But the worst of all of it was that I knew the entire situation, every untenable, horrifying moment of it, was my own fault.

The fates had mocked me once again, delivering my soul mate to me after more than a hundred long years only to stand by while I caused her destruction. This had happened because I hadn't been strong enough to stay away from her, I hadn't been strong enough to refuse her when she had asked me to do something I had known all along could only end in disaster.

I was slowly burning at the stake under a fire of my own creation.

My desperation reached a new low the day Jacob Black decided to visit.

Bella had been throwing up periodically for the past two days and all of that morning, depriving her body of even the scant traces of nutrition she had remaining to her after eating, after the crea…_fetus_ took what it needed. She insisted that it wasn't a sign of yet a new form of ruination, that it was simply that something hadn't agreed with her stomach…but the vomiting took even more out of her, made her look even more pale and drawn than before. It was shocking that she could still actually look _worse_ than she already had.

We all smelled him just as we heard the sound of his motorbike snaking up the driveway. I had taken to tuning my family's thoughts out to a dull background roar, unable to tolerate their worry, the visions in their minds of my tortured face and Bella's tortured body. I hadn't been paying attention, so I hadn't picked up on his thoughts before the scent and sound were already upon us.

Rosalie was the first to wrinkle her nose in disgust. "Oh, goody. Wet, rancid _dog_."

The family was all gathered in the front room, Bella reclined on the white sofa and Rosalie and I standing to either side of her. Carlisle wanted her confined to bed rest, but she refused to listen to that advice also, insisting instead on at least joining the family in the common rooms of the house during the day.

Bella glanced at Rosalie curiously. "Dog? One of the wolves?"

"What the hell do _they_ want?" Emmett grumbled.

I cast my mind out and found Jacob's thoughts easily. I almost had to chuckle at the irony; he had assumed that Bella had already been turned, and was coming to fight me, to kill me if he could.

Little did he know that I already wished I was dead. If Bella weren't still alive, however tenuous her hold on life now seemed to be, I would have begged him for it.

"It's Jacob," I told her softly.

"Just what we need," Rosalie muttered in irritation. "Bella, let me go out and be done with him once and for all, please?"

"Rose…" Bella simply shook her head, too exhausted to offer more of a complaint than that.

Carlisle sighed from his chair near the window, where he had been scouring his latest acquisition, yet another medical textbook on high-risk pregnancies.

Like the author of _that_ could ever have foreseen anything like _this_.

"I'll speak to him," Carlisle said, and got up to go to the door. He opened it before there was a knock.

"Hello, Jacob," we could hear him say calmly. "How are you?"

Jacob was surprised at Carlisle's demeanour. He had expected a confrontation right off the bat. He had _hoped_ for one, and he had hoped it would come from me. He was unable to muster the same kind of hatred for Carlisle that bubbled near the surface for me.

"I heard Bella made it back alive," Jacob replied.

"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time. Could we do this later?"

"Carlisle will get rid of him for us, Bella," Rosalie murmured softly, patting Bella's shoulder. "We won't let him in."

"Why not?" Bella asked, her voice rough from the morning spent vomiting. "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?"

She was frustrated by the lies we had had to tell Charlie and Renee, that she had picked up a rare disease during the trip to South America and had to be quarantined. We had convinced her not even to speak to them on the telephone herself, lest she let something slip that would reveal the story to be the untruth that it was. She knew it was necessary, but hated it nonetheless.

She raised her voice the best she could. "Come in, please, Jacob," she called.

Carlisle briefly considered closing the door in Jacob's face, but Jacob stepped around him and into the house. He knew Carlisle would not be the one to lift a finger against him.

Esme, Emmett, Jasper and Alice all drifted toward the couch, automatically moving to where they could best protect Bella – and me.

Jacob scanned the faces collected before him quickly, assessing the threat, but was distracted immediately by something else: not Bella – me.

He was shocked by the torment so clearly written on my face, so thoroughly rooted in every muscle, every _cell_ of my body.

I didn't turn my face to look back at him, but instead reflexively, automatically, tuned his thoughts out. It made it even worse to see myself reflected in the minds of others, and to know that no matter how I looked, it was a pale shadow of what I actually felt.

There was a moment of silence in the room that was interrupted only when Bella's heart rate jumped and a strangled gasp caught in her throat. Rosalie heard it at the same time I did, and knew to grab the white plastic basin from the floor and get it under Bella's chin just as she threw up once again.

That had to be the fifth time in the last two hours. I felt my knees give way, and I fell to the floor in front of the sofa. Rosalie lifted a hand in warning as though she thought I had been about to pounce on Bella.

"Sorry about that," Bella murmured quietly. I assumed the comment was directed at Jacob. That she would _apologize_ for the state she was in caused my own stomach to clench violently, and I could not suppress a moan. I leaned forward until my forehead was against Bella's knees, and she placed a clammy hand against my cheek to comfort me.

In a flash, Rosalie had sprung forward, suddenly launching herself between Jacob Black and the sofa. A warning hiss escaped her lips. She didn't want him coming any closer to what she protected.

"Rose, don't," Bella whispered. "It's fine."

Reluctantly, without lifting her glare from Jacob's face, Rosalie edged back to the sofa and crouched near Bella's head at the end opposite from where I was slumped. She was ready to spring at the blink of an eye.

Jacob stepped closer and leaned across the sofa to look at Bella more closely, ignoring Rosalie with ease. "Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice also a whisper. He took one of her hands in his. "Are you all right?"

Since the answer was obvious, she didn't provide a response. Instead, she simply said, "I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob."

While I knew she didn't believe this would be the end of her, the way she said it sounded as though she was nevertheless suggesting she was glad he had made it…_in time_. I couldn't help another moan, my face buried in the blanket that covered her.

Jacob ignored me, too. "What is it, Bella?" he asked, deeply concerned.

"Help me up, Rose?" Bella said after another brief moment of silence.

_I'll kill him if he makes this worse, so help me God I will rip him limb from limb and eat the pieces…_Rosalie's thoughts were so sharp, so tinged with fury and violence I couldn't block them out.

"Please, Rose."

Numb, I was unable to find the will to move, but I was dully aware that Rosalie was now leaning over, trying to hoist Bella up by the shoulders.

To his credit, Jacob seemed alarmed at the movement from one so obviously unwell. "No…Don't get up…" he murmured softly.

"I'm answering your question," Bella snapped, and struggled to her feet. With her knees no longer under me, I simply fell into the sofa cushions.

I knew Jacob was staring at Bella – he couldn't help but be staring. The change was too obvious, too grotesque. His shock amplified his thoughts, made them impossible to shut out completely, but they were a confused jumble. _What the…so sick…looks terrible…horrible… can't be…CAN'T be…it's only been a month…not possible…cradling…loves it? Killing her…clearly…monstrous…feeding on her…monster…_

_I always knew he would kill her._

My head snapped up at that.

I was seized with fury. As though this had been _deliberate_, as though I somehow _wanted_ this to happen…For as much as I hated him, hated what he had tried to do when he'd made his shameless attempt to steal Bella away from me, never for a moment had I doubted his affection for her, that he would never purposely harm her.

That _he_ didn't grant _me_ even _that_ much credit was beyond tolerance.

I was on my feet instantly. "Outside, Jacob," I snarled. The idea of releasing on him the fury I had pent up against myself had sudden appeal. I could kill myself later in another way, I didn't need him for that.

He got up just as quickly, utterly unafraid. "Let's do this."

I was aware that Emmett and Jasper had stepped up behind me, but was startled when Bella fell forward and grabbed my arm, gasping. "_No._"

Of course not. I couldn't do anything to make her feel even worse. I couldn't hurt her even more. She loved him. She…

Suddenly, an idea hit me.

It was a horrible idea, one that made my stomach heave. It filled me to the core with disgust and loathing…but I was desperate. She wouldn't let me save her in any other way.

Maybe this…

Swallowing back the revulsion at my own thought, I turned to Bella and gently stroked her cheek. "I just need to talk to him, Bella," I told her softly. "Don't strain yourself. Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes."

She looked at me for a long moment, trying to find the truth in my face. I assumed she found it to her satisfaction when she nodded and let Rosalie guide her back to the sofa. When she was situated, she gave Jacob a firm stare. "Behave," she told him. "And then come back."

He didn't answer. Unlike me, he wasn't inclined to indulge her every request.

Maybe he was the wiser of the two of us in that regard.

I led the way out the front door, down the driveway. Jacob followed, his thoughts on strategy, how easy it had been to separate me from the protection offered by my family, how quickly he'd have to move if he wanted to take me by surprise.

He didn't realize it wasn't possible to take me by surprise, not when I was paying attention as I was now.

"I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black," I muttered as I walked. "You'll have to have a little patience."

"Patience isn't my specialty," he growled in a low voice.

Of course not. Adolescent werewolves were unable to govern themselves. That was the problem with them.

I ignored him and kept walking, trying to get far enough away that none of my family would hear us. It didn't escape me that this was a dangerous thing to do, given how furious he was at what he had seen and how badly he had wanted to kill me for so long.

But he was also curious.

When I figured we had gone far enough, I stopped and whirled on my heel to face him.

For a moment, he was stunned by what he saw in my face. My reflection was as clear in his mind as if I were looking in a mirror—eyes black but glazed over, surrounded by deep purple circles, mouth tight, agonized…

He knew immediately what it meant. "It's killing her, right? She's dying." He wasn't as pained yet by the notion as I was. The full import of what he had seen was still dawning on him. He had yet to feel the full weight of his words.

And he also had the comfort of knowing that it wasn't his fault.

All of my fury blew out of me like a puff of air from a deflating balloon.

My knees gave out once again and I fell to the ground. "_My fault_," I whispered. He knew it. I knew it.

I went on to answer his original question. "Yes. Yes, it's killing her."

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything?" he growled. "He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her."

Like we hadn't thought of that already.

I sighed. "She won't let us."

_Of course not. Of course she'll volunteer to die for the monster spawn. How typically Bella._

Jacob saw that quickly, that it was so _her_ to sacrifice herself for someone she loved.

I hadn't seen it until we got to the Sea/Tac airport and she had thrown herself into Rosalie's arms. I had assumed she'd see reason, the need to end the pregnancy as soon as possible.

But Bella didn't act reasonably. I, of all people, should have known that from the fact that she hadn't run screaming from me the moment she had met me.

"You know her so well," I whispered, still on the ground, in the dirt. "How quickly you see….I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened—that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again, I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was _resolving_. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet _you_ understand after one second…" I let my voice trail off with a groan at my own stupidity.

"Just back up a second. She won't _let_ you." His voice was sarcastic as he repeated what I had said earlier. "Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

He made it sound so easy, like there would be no repercussions from doing something like that to her against her will.

It made me wonder if he really knew her that well after all.

But that was neither here nor there. "I wanted to," I told him quietly. "Carlisle would have…"

_But you're all just too noble for that, right? _he thought, still sarcastic.

"No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things."

Jacob considered that for a moment, putting it together with what he had seen of Rosalie's behaviour in the house. _Why would she bother? I know she doesn't like Bella, but does she really want her dead that badly?_

"Maybe," I replied as though he had asked the question aloud. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

"So take the blonde out first." He shrugged, again as if it were really that easy. "Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella."

"Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us…and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it…." I trailed off, leaving out the rest, that no one in the family wanted to do that to Bella against her will. There was no point in debating the morals of the situation with him right now, when he was so inclined to see it in black and white, death or life.

"You should have left Bella with me."

Again, like it would be so easy. Like it was entirely my choice.

I was starting to wonder if he knew her at all.

But there was still no point in debating any of that with him. It wouldn't help me convince him of my idea…the last idea I had to save her. So I just told him what he wanted to hear: "Yes."

His mind was filled with blame, all for me. I was willing to accept it, but for some reason, I still needed him to know I hadn't deliberately hurt her. "We didn't know," I offered quietly. "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us—"

"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?" he asked bluntly.

He knew the strength of my kind well enough. "Yes. They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one _survives_." Once more my mind was filled with the images I'd seen for myself of the human lovers taken by Tanya and her sisters before they'd become 'vegetarian' like us.

"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are," he sneered.

I looked up at him wearily. He could lambaste me with his invective as much as he wanted. It wasn't anything I hadn't already thought of myself.

"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself."

_Wrong_, he thought, but didn't say it aloud.

It was time to explain my idea.

"Killing me now doesn't save her," I said quietly.

"So what does?"

"Jacob," I began, steeling myself for the astonishing, impossible words I was going to have to say, "you have to do something for me."

"The _hell_ I do, parasite!" he snapped.

"For her?"

I heard his teeth snap together in frustration. "I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late."

"You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand." I dragged the words out of me by force, using what little remained of my strength of will. I wanted to vomit on them. They were like poison on my tongue.

But I had to be convincing.

"You are part of her, and she is part of you," I continued, each syllable wrenching my gut violently. "She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this." I swallowed hard. "She might listen to you."

"Why would she?"

I forced myself to my feet, needing to look him in the eye to be able to convince him of what he needed to do. It was asking so much, asking him to put himself before her once again and risk rejection. I had little doubt that it wouldn't end in rejection for him, but I had to try.

_I think he's actually going crazy. Can vampires lose their minds?_ he thought, and I saw from his mind's eye that I indeed looked rather manic.

"Maybe. I don't know. It feels like it." I shook my head, trying to calm down. This definitely wouldn't work if he thought it was borne of insanity.

It undoubtedly _was_ borne of insanity, but such was the situation we were in.

"I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill," I explained. "She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do?" he demanded. "Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too."

I swallowed hard once again. "You can offer her what she wants."

Jacob frowned, confused.

Now that I had started down this path, I pushed myself forward, spilling the words quickly. "I don't care about anything but keeping her alive. If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants." I paused just long enough to summon the will to shove down every part of me that recoiled against this plan. "She can have puppies, if that's what it takes."

Jacob's mouth fell open in shock as he quickly tried to process what I had just suggested.

I pressed ahead. "But not this way! Not this _thing_ that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it _hurting_ her." I gasped with the force of what I was saying, what I had seen the past two weeks. It had been like being chained to a wall in the darkest of dungeons, being forced to watch while my beloved was slowly tortured to death, inch by inch, _erased_ before my very eyes.

"You _have_ to make her see reason, Jacob," I pleaded. "She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity—encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting _it_. Bella's life means nothing to her."

Jacob made a strangled noise deep in his throat. _What is he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With _me_? What? How? Is he giving her up? Does he think she won't mind being shared?_

Yes, it was as crazy as it sounded in his mind. But I had to _try_. There was nothing else I could think of to be done.

"Whichever," I said softly. "Whatever keeps her alive."

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet," he muttered.

"She loves you." It galled me beyond reason to say the words, but they were true in their way. And I needed him to believe it.

"Not enough."

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme."

"Don't you know her at all?" he asked.

_Oh, don't underestimate _me_, Jacob Black_, I thought. I knew my wife. I knew how much she loved me, too, whether I deserved it or not. I knew it was the longest of long shots. But what other possible choice did I have?

Her death was simply not an option.

I wasn't going to admit how stacked the odds were against him, though. I needed him confident in her affection for him, or he wouldn't even try.

We had to try.

"I know, I know," I said. "It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense."

I thought I had seen the worst already in Jacob's mind, long ago. I had seen many of his fantasies involving my wife, all the worse than the fantasies of someone like Mike Newton, because at least Jacob had had a chance.

They were nothing compared to what he thought of now. The images were sharp slaps to the face, kicks to the solar plexus…Bella in _his_ arms, Bella sighing _his_ name the way she had sighed mine so many times on the island…

Worst of all, Bella pregnant but rounded in a more natural way…full, healthy, glowing…bursting with happiness and anticipation at the thought of having _his_ child.

It almost took me to my knees again, but I fought against it. Hard.

"Make Bella see sense?" he was saying, through the haze of horror and revulsion that was threatening to knock me over. "What universe do you live in?"

Once again, I swallowed to avoid gagging. "At least try."

He was conflicted, considering it but knowing somehow that it was useless. Useless but so tempting…he was having a hard time resisting the chance, being given the opportunity with my…_blessing_, such as it was. "Where is this psycho crap coming from?" he asked as he thought it over. "Are you making this up as you go?"

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do," I answered honestly, then prepared to delve into the lie. I had to make it seem like I had carefully considered this for many days, concluded that it had a decent chance of success, or I knew he wouldn't try. "But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes." Back to the truth now. "Her condition…it changes so fast. The thing is…growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

"What _is_ it?"

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already."

A vision of a bloody demon breaking through her body in a burst of flesh and bone filled his mind.

It was horrific, but no worse than what I had already imagined, long ago.

"Help me stop it," I whispered. "Help me stop this from happening."

"_How?_" he demanded. "By offering my stud services? You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try. There's nothing to lose now." That was it, in a nutshell. "How will it hurt?"

_It will hurt_ me, he thought. _Haven't I been through enough?_

_You haven't even_ begun _feeling pain over Bella, Jacob Black_, I thought darkly. _Try being in my shoes for five minutes. Five _seconds_._ "A little pain to save her?" I asked instead. "Is it such a high cost?" If I had been in his position, I knew there was no way I would hesitate to help her, no matter what it did to me.

Look at what I was already doing, having this conversation at all. Did he think this was easy for me?

"But it won't work," he protested.

"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

"And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding, Bella?"

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets," I said simply. "I won't rescind."

_Ridiculous…she'll never go for it. She'll punch me and break her hand again instead. He's messing with me, messing with my head._

_I should just kill him now. _

I sighed. He was back to that again already. "Not now," I said in a low voice. "Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me."

"You won't have to beg long."

_Thank God for that._ I couldn't help an ironic smile from creeping into one corner of my mouth. "I'm very much counting on that."

He hesitated again, for only a brief instant. The idea had far too much appeal for him. "Then we have a deal."

I nodded and extended a hand to shake his. Reluctantly, he took it and shook once.

"We have a deal," I agreed.


	12. Chapter 12: Threat

While I thought I had thoroughly convinced him of my plan, Jacob's thoughts were still conflicted as we headed back to the house. He was certain he would try and reason with Bella, but wasn't certain he could make himself go through with the other part of our deal. I contented myself with hoping that his ongoing fantasies about Bella in his arms would be enough to make him do it once he was face-to-face with her.

I clenched my teeth hard to help me focus on blocking those fantasies out.

_What the _hell_, Edward?_ When we stepped back inside, all of my family were looking at us and shooting thoughts tinged with confusion and suspicion my way. Rosalie's were of course the loudest and most obnoxious, but it was surprisingly easy to ignore her.

Bella simply stared from my face to his and back again, trying to figure out what we'd been up to. I clenched my teeth once more when I saw her pale even further with her anxiety.

It was bad enough already. I couldn't tolerate making it even worse for her. That, combined with my anticipation of her reaction to the conversation Jacob was about to have with her practically threw me to my knees once again.

The whole situation…there were simply no words.

It hadn't been that long since I'd left Bella in Forks and fled to South America. I had let myself go completely numb then, avoided feeling anything at all so that I could force one foot in front of the other and keep moving despite the overwhelming urge to dig a hole, climb into it and simply stay there for eternity.

I did my best to summon that same numbness up now.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," I told my family flatly.

More confused thoughts, now mixed with outrage. "Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed, her eyes narrowing. She had a hand resting on Bella's cheek protectively.

I continued to ignore her and turned to the only person whose opinion on the matter counted. "Bella, Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Bella's eyes widened, confused, suspicious. She looked from me to Jacob to Rosalie, but answered quickly. "Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick," Rosalie protested.

"I don't see how," Bella replied.

I resisted the urge to go for Rosalie's throat once again and drag her out of the room by force. "Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie." I couldn't believe I actually had to humour her in this, and worked to maintain the numbness. "We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No!" Bella's eyes filled with tears. "No, Edward, I'm not…"

_Numbness, concentrate on the numbness, _I told myself. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I felt a spear of resentment from Jacob. He was disgusted that she felt badly about me at all.

I felt rather disgusted about that myself, but only for my own part in it.

"Everyone," I looked at my family and gestured toward the door. "Please."

_Edward, are you sure?_ Alice's worried eyes were fixed on my face. _You know I can't see anything with the wolves…or Bella right now. I don't know what you're up to or what's going to happen. I can't help you with this._

I gave a short nod in her general direction. The others were also silently asking me if I was sure, so my nod was a response for all of them.

Thankfully, no one said anything aloud, and simply proceeded outside. Esme quickly squeezed my hand when she walked past.

Only Rosalie remained, standing in the middle of the room with her eyes on Bella.

"Rose," Bella murmured. "I want you to go." It was clear from her face that she had no idea what Jacob and I had discussed or what Jacob was about to say to her, but since I had asked everyone to leave them alone she assumed it was the right thing to do.

Glaring and firing mental expletives at me, Rosalie reluctantly walked to the door. She gestured for me to go first, then followed and closed the door behind her.

The family hadn't moved far down the driveway. They were still within earshot, and were waiting to see if I planned to listen or to move further away.

"We're not all going to stand here lurking," I muttered. "Let's go into the forest."

"Forget it," Rosalie stated flatly. "I have no idea what you two are up to. Whether she's afraid of him or not, there is no way in hell I'm going where I can't hear what's happening."

"It's definitely not wise in any event, Edward," Jasper added in a quiet voice. I could feel the waves of calm he was trying to direct my way, but things had progressed too far for them to have any effect any more. "You know how the wolves can be. He may not mean to, but if he were to get angry for any reason…"

I hadn't thought of that. Knowing how stubborn Bella could be, about this subject in particular…there was no guarantee he could maintain control. I'd seen that first hand at the wedding.

Alice stepped over and took my hands in hers. She looked up at me for a long moment. _Whatever this is about, you don't want to hear it, do you?_

She was right about that. I knew I'd find out what had been said eventually, whether from Jacob's thoughts or the thoughts of one of my family, but I couldn't sit here and listen while it happened. I didn't want to be where anyone else could see me if Bella took Jacob up on the offer I had asked him to make. It was what I wanted…but it was also what I dreaded.

I couldn't find my voice, so I simply nodded.

_Go, then. We'll go into the trees where they can't see us, but we'll listen to make sure nothing bad happens. You just…go._

I nodded again gratefully and ran into the forest as fast as I could, trying to outrun the heartbreak that was threatening to choke me into immobility.

As I ran, I let animal instinct take me over. I forced away all of the human weaknesses, the human _feelings_ that wanted to pierce through my veil of numbness and just ran.

I couldn't even hunt.

I just ran.

* * *

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I realized that I was once again near home. At some point I had turned back without really deciding to do so. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. I couldn't even tell from the sky, because I hadn't been paying attention to what time it was when I left.

I was desperately afraid of what I would find when I returned – whether she said yes to Jacob _or_ no – but my subconscious knew that I had to return eventually.

Running until I actually collapsed had its appeal, but it was impractical. At the rate I was going, I probably would have hit the Arctic Ocean before that happened anyway.

_Oh, thank God!_ I heard Alice's thought before I saw her or noticed her scent, sitting on the edge of a rock on the other side of the stream that ran through the trees not far from our house. Jasper was beside her, and they both straightened as I slowed and walked toward them.

As soon as I'd seen them, I'd immediately thrown up a mental brick wall to block the rest of their thoughts. I would have to ease into what had happened gradually.

"Oh, Edward," Alice sighed as she leapt from the rock and flitted to my side, throwing her arms around me. "I was so afraid…" she let her voice trail off vaguely.

"What? That I wouldn't come back?" I asked humourlessly, edging toward the rock to sit down.

"I just…we had _no idea_, Edward, no idea that you were so…I mean, we know how awful…" she was having a hard time finding the words, but was speaking aloud for Jasper's benefit. It was just as well; I still wasn't ready to open my mind back up to theirs.

Jasper clapped a hand on my shoulder. He tried with the wave of calm and comfort once again, but I was still too far gone for it to make a dent, even with him touching me. "We had no idea how desperate you'd become, Edward," he said bluntly. "Maybe we could have done something more."

"There's nothing any of us can do. That's exactly the problem. I don't have a lot of options at this point," I replied. I looked from his face to hers and back again. I couldn't get an idea of what had happened from their expressions alone since they were both so worried and distraught. That reaction could have been caused by any part of this.

"Well, Bella is…" Alice started to say, but I put a finger over her lips.

There was no point avoiding it any longer. There was no easing into it, either.

I opened my mind to theirs and braced for the assault of their memories of what they had heard. Their infallible vampire synapses had recorded it like high-definition DVRs.

Bella…She had assured him – as she had assured all of us – that she was certain she could do this, that she would survive it and could be changed in time, before her heart stopped beating.

He had been angry with her, with me. Very angry. He hadn't phased, but it was still almost certainly wise that my family had been nearby. They thought he had gotten very close.

He had tried to reason with her, to beg her to stay alive. He'd even tried to convince her to do it for _my_ sake.

That had gotten her attention, but she had still insisted she would survive this.

And he had made the offer.

But she hadn't taken him up on it.

She hadn't even appeared to take a second to consider it. She'd dismissed the notion out of hand.

And she had told him that it wasn't just about having a baby, any baby with anyone. It was _this_ baby. Just as she had told me.

She had also figured out that I had put him up to it. That had made her sad.

Without my permission, relief coursed through me. It wasn't just about having _any_ baby, regardless of the consequences. It wasn't motherhood itself she was so determined to die for. She wasn't going to choose him, no matter what the benefits might be. Even if it meant life itself.

It really was about _this_ baby. _Ours._ Hers and mine.

Crushing self-loathing immediately followed the relief. It poured over me in waves, knocked me breathless.

_Selfish, selfish, selfish_, I cursed myself, resisting the urge to bash my head against the rock I sat on only because Alice and Jasper were so close.

_Monster_, I was a monster. Feeling relief at what had happened, that it meant she was _mine_ even if it cost her her life…It was despicable, abominable. It was no better than if I had just given in to the urge to drain her blood the minute I had met her.

Jasper gasped aloud at the force of the emotion washing over me, and Alice pulled me into her tiny arms.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. "She said no, she didn't even consider it!"

"I know," I choked. "I know! That's the problem!" I couldn't explain the rest. I couldn't admit to the selfishness. I couldn't say it out loud, and hated myself all the more for that extra weakness.

She held me tightly as I shook with dry sobs and an overwhelming sense of revulsion at everything I was. She was on the verge of panic herself, unable to think of anything she could do or say to help and horribly afraid of what I might do.

It made me feel even worse to drag them into my abyss of misery.

_Edward? Edward, you there?_

A thought, strong, loud and deliberate could not help but grab my attention. It was coming from some distance away, but I knew this person.

Seth. It was Seth Clearwater.

_Hey, Edward. If you can hear me—circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem._

Jacob Black was with him. They were returning to the house through the forest from the other direction, both in wolf form.

We've _got a problem_, Seth corrected.

Alice flinched at the suddenness with which I sat up, straight as an arrow.

"Something's wrong," I said, pushing everything else aside. I could wallow in self-loathing later. Only a threat to Bella would make Jacob Black rush back like this to speak to me.

"Come on." I didn't give Alice and Jasper a chance to respond before I was on my feet, sprinting for the house as fast as I could go. We were little more than a flash of movement when we barrelled inside, into the living room.

"Alice, stay here. Jasper, Emmett. Come with me." I didn't even pause to see if they had heard me before shoving the front door open and rushing onto the porch to wait for Seth and Jacob to arrive. A torrent of confused and worried thoughts followed, but everyone other than Jasper and Emmett stayed inside. I could hear Alice in a hushed voice, trying to explain what had just happened in the forest.

I didn't have time to say anything further to Jasper and Emmett before Seth and Jacob broke through the tree line and trotted up to front steps, panting slightly from the exertion of their run.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

The two of them flashed back quickly through a series of events with the wolf pack. After speaking with Bella, Jacob had phased and they had learned immediately about Bella's condition from his mind…They were shocked, appalled, stunned silent. When they had met back up with him they had been in confusion, not knowing what to make of the situation or what to do about it.

But they had quickly arrived at a decision.

The pack was coming after Bella.

I sprang into action and leapt off the porch before I even finished absorbing all of their story, a furious hiss escaping through my lips. "They want to kill Bella?"

At that, Emmett and Jasper leapt too, landing next to me in fighting crouches, teeth exposed, ready to tear the two wolves in front of us into pieces.

Seth backed away, startled.

"Em, Jazz—not _them_! The others. The pack is coming," I explained quickly. Their stances relaxed, but Jasper kept his eyes locked on Jacob and Seth as Emmett turned to me for an explanation.

"What's _their_ problem?" he demanded.

"The same one as mine. But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Jacob whined, anxious that we were short two vampires.

"They aren't far," I told him quietly. I had only just realized myself that they weren't in the house, that they were in the forest waiting for me as Alice and Jasper had been, but off in a different direction.

_I'm going to go take a look_, Seth thought. _Run the western perimeter._

The import of Seth's and Jacob's presence suddenly hit me. I had been so thrown off by the part of their story about how the pack had resolved to come after Bella that I hadn't listened to the rest, what had led the two of them to seek me out.

Jacob had refused to follow Sam's orders, even though Sam was the pack alpha. He had broken away, split from his tribe. Seth had followed.

They were on their own.

They had done it for Bella.

I was barely able to form words. "Will you be in danger, Seth?"

The two wolves looked at each other. _Don't think so_, they thought together. Then Jacob added, _But maybe I should go. Just in case…_

_They'll be less likely to challenge me_, Seth pointed out. _I'm just a kid to them._

_You're just a kid to me, kid_, Jacob replied. I couldn't have agreed more, but in some respects it was difficult to think of Seth that way when he was in the form of such a huge, deadly animal.

Seth merely huffed in response. _I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens._ In a flash of fur, he was gone into the trees.

Emmett had moved off to call Carlisle from his cell phone. Jasper was staring into the woods after Seth, and I could hear Alice step onto the porch behind me. She had heard enough of the conversation to know generally what was going on. Reflexively, she flitted to Jasper's side, ready to stand with him to face whatever might be coming.

I stood staring at Jacob. The magnitude of what he was doing for Bella was almost too much for me to comprehend. "This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob," I whispered. "I would never have asked for this from you."

He snorted, an odd, sarcastic sound to come from a wolf. His mind flashed back to our earlier conversation, to the hurt he had felt when Bella had rejected his offer out of hand, without even a second thought. _Yeah, you would_, he thought bitterly.

I supposed when it came to Bella, he was right. I would ask anything, try anything. "I suppose you're right about that."

The wolf sighed. _Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you._

Obviously. But it didn't matter; all that mattered was that he had done it. "Right," I murmured, feeling as though I needed to acknowledge the statement.

He seemed hesitant for a moment. _Sorry I didn't do any good today_, he thought, and was genuinely rueful. _Told you she wouldn't listen to me._

"I know. I never really believed she would. But…"

He interrupted me. _You had to try. I get it. She any better?_

I quickly cast my mind to Alice's, then inside the house to Rosalie's. Bella's conversation with Jacob had upset her, especially the knowledge that I had put him up to the offer he had made. As always, the stress had made her feel worse, more nauseated. The crea…_fetus_ seemed to react to the stress, to kick more, harder. I cringed.

Rosalie had Bella wrapped in a blanket on the couch, and was sitting with her as she rested, Bella's head in her lap.

I swallowed heavily over the image in Rose's mind of Bella's pale, tired face. "Worse."

Suddenly Alice spoke. "Jacob, would you mind switching forms? I want to know what's going on."

Jacob shook his massive head just as I responded for him. "He needs to stay linked to Seth."

"Well, then would _you_ be so kind as to tell me what's happening?"

"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the…from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight," I explained flatly, reaching once again for the numbness.

Because the situation wasn't horrible enough already. We needed a war with the wolves to top everything off.

Alice hissed, annoyed, a little frightened, but mostly steeling herself for battle.

Seth's thoughts travelled back clearly from the forest. _Nobody out here. All's quiet on the western front._

Jacob answered: _They may go around._

_I'll make a loop._

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way," Emmett reported. "Twenty minutes, tops."

Jasper was immediately trying to plan out strategy. "We should take up a defensive position."

I nodded. "Let's get inside." We needed to make plans, to outsmart them. With Jacob and Seth separated from the pack we probably had the advantage in strength and numbers, but I wasn't about to take the chance of not being ready.

It wasn't going to be pretty.

Jacob glanced at me. _I'll run the perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl._

"I will." Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I backed toward the house, each of us trying to scan the darkness for movement, listening, smelling.

Nothing yet.

Jacob ran into the forest just as I closed the front door behind us.

Emmett and Jasper were already huddled together, quietly discussing strategy, analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of each pack member based on what they had seen when we'd banded with them against Victoria's newborns.

That seemed years ago, now. Decades.

Alice had drifted over to the couch and was gently stroking Bella's cheek with the backs of her fingers. Mercifully, Bella was asleep and had apparently slept through our entire conversation with Jacob and Seth outside.

Rosalie looked up at me with fierce eyes when I walked over to check on my wife. She had heard everything that had been said. "You're not really going to trust those _dogs_, are you? This could easily be a trap."

"It's not a trap, Rosalie," I hissed at her. "They wouldn't be able to hide it from me if it were."

She had to concede that much.

"Jacob and Seth broke away from the pack at great personal cost to themselves, Rose," Alice added.

Rosalie let out a low growl when I bent over Bella to kiss her lightly on her forehead. Her skin was cool, clammy, even in sleep. She wasn't moving or speaking, but her brow was slightly creased, as though she were dreaming of something she didn't like. "Don't you dare wake her up."

"Oh, shut up, Rose," I growled in return.

We heard the back door open, and Carlisle and Esme appeared in the room a moment later. Both immediately drifted to the couch to check on Bella. Gently, careful not to wake her, Carlisle took her wrist in his hand so he could check her pulse. I didn't have to read his mind to see that he wasn't happy with what he was seeing. I could hear for myself that her heart rate was abnormal, too fast.

"We ran into Seth in the forest," Esme said softly. "He explained what he and Jacob are doing."

"And we heard the rest from Emmett," Carlisle added, straightening back up. He looked at me for a long moment. His thoughts were mixed, partially on the trouble with the pack and how much he dreaded an end to the hard-won peace, but mostly on Bella's condition.

_She's becoming very dehydrated, Edward, now that she's having so much trouble keeping anything down. And she needs some nutrition, some fortification so she can keep her strength up. _

I nodded, knowing where he was going with this. Rosalie glared at us, irritated at being kept out of our silent conversation about Bella. "What?" she demanded. "What is it, Carlisle? Is Bella worse?"

He turned to her. "I think it's time to try an IV. She needs fluids, nutrients. It's the only way to keep it in her without her throwing it back up."

"Shall we get the equipment from the garage, then?" Alice asked. Carlisle had already prepared for this eventuality, and had arranged for a hospital bed, life sign monitors, IV drips.

He nodded, and the three of us headed outside. In the few minutes it had taken us to bring everything he needed into the living room, Esme, Jasper and Emmett had pushed the living room furniture aside to make space for what we carried. Esme was now pressing the button which would close the heavy metal shutters on the glass wall.

That part had nothing to do with the medical equipment; it was fortification against the pack.

_Numb_, I told myself. _Numb. There's work to do._

As Carlisle hooked everything up and arranged it the way he wanted it, his body a blur with the quickness of his movements, I heard a howl from the forest.

My stomach rolled, and Emmett and Jasper and I stared at each other. That was Jacob's signal that the pack was coming.

_False alarm, false alarm! Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm._

Jacob's thoughts. He was running back toward the house through the trees.

I held up a hand to signal my family to wait. Except Carlisle, who was still working feverishly, they were all staring at me expectantly.

I wandered over to the front window to wait for Jacob to come through the tree line.

_There's nothing out there—you got that?_ he was thinking as he dashed into the front yard. I nodded.

"Okay, Rosalie. Let's move her now," I heard Carlisle say, and turned to see them bent over Bella on the couch, working together to lift her gently and carry her to the hospital bed. I couldn't suppress a shudder at the sight of her no longer covered by the heavy blanket: frail, her midsection grossly distended.

I waved at Jacob briefly to show him I had the message, and turned to walk over to the bed where Carlisle and Rosalie were now arranging Bella.

_What's going on?_ I heard Jacob demand, but my attention was focused on Bella.

"It was a false alarm," I told my family as I watched Carlisle work over my wife, clipping something to her left index finger, sticking something to her chest under her sweatshirt. "Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young." I knew from Jacob's mind that Seth had been howling about the story of what I had asked Jacob to do this afternoon, but felt no need to explain it to everyone else.

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort," Emmett grumbled.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett," Carlisle reminded him. "At great personal sacrifice." He held an IV needle in his hand and glanced around the room at the rest of us, wondering if anyone would react when he pierced Bella's vein. There was no time to wonder long, so he proceeded without waiting for any assurances. Mercifully, the puncture site was so small that the smell of human blood in the air was minimal. It would hit me more forcefully than anyone else, and I barely registered it.

"Yeah, I know," Emmett answered. "I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

Emmett was itching for a fight. He was worried about Bella, too, worried about me, worried about Rosalie. He dealt with it with physical exertion. In a perverse way, a battle would be a welcome diversion for him.

I knew Jacob was still sitting in the front yard, and searched his mind once again for an update.

"Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now," I advised flatly. "Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked.

"He's not as optimistic." Jacob could hear our conversation from his perch outside. He wished he could be more optimistic, but feared the worst.

Carlisle satisfied himself with the arrangements for Bella, double checking each piece of equipment, each connection. He moved to adjust her pillow.

"Don't touch her! You'll wake her up," Rosalie whispered.

I resisted the urge to growl, to pounce on her at her presumption of interfering with Carlisle's care. Carlisle merely sighed. "Rosalie…"

"Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing." She gestured at the medical equipment as though it were an annoyance. She didn't like the look of this hospital set-up, thinking it appeared too much like an operating room, ready for Carlisle to take some kind of drastic step to remove the crea…_fetus_ from Bella's body.

What irritated me the most was the way she was speaking in plurals, as though Bella were _her_ mate, as though Bella would side with _her_ on this.

I focused on the sound of the IV's slow drip to control my rage. Like Emmett, I was starting to think that some physical exertion would be a nice diversion. Only _my_ battle would be with Rosalie.

Bella's breathing was laboured, and she gasped a little in her sleep. Both Rosalie and I moved closer to the bed, just as Bella's body jerked and she whimpered softly. Another kick.

Rosalie's hand was on Bella's forehead before mine. That she beat me to it, that she felt _entitled_ to do that in my place raised my fury all over again.

Emmett sensed the tension in my body and was between us in the blink of an eye, holding his hands up to me.

"Not tonight, Edward. We've got other things to worry about."

I turned away quickly and caught sight of eyes through the window. Jacob had crept up to look inside, to see how Bella was doing.

Something he saw inside, something in my expression made him drop back to all fours and run for the forest.

He had seen for himself. Bella was worse.


	13. Chapter 13: An Idea

Once again, the night was a long one.

Jasper and Emmett had moved to the kitchen, and sat at the table for hours discussing strategy as to how best to handle the wolves. Esme and Carlisle had retired to their room. Rosalie and I sat with Bella, one of us on either side of her bed. Alice had also disappeared upstairs, suffering from another headache.

Bella had seemed to slip into a deeper sleep at one point, and her breathing had evened out as a result. Her heart rate was still too fast, but it had slowed somewhat in her slumber. The dripping of the IV was the loudest sound in the room now. I found it kind of soothing in a sense, its repetitiveness signaling that at least something was being done for her.

Rosalie stirred and glared at me every time I reached for my wife, to carefully take her hand, stroke her face or place gentle kisses on her clammy, pale skin. I ignored her. I decided I had enough on my plate already, I didn't need to add to it with anger for Rosalie.

It saved us an argument when Bella stirred, at a time when I wasn't actually touching her. Rosalie couldn't snarl at me for having woke her up.

"Edward?" she murmured in a voice still thick with sleep.

My dead heart leapt a little. I was still her first thought on waking, my name the first thing on her lips. I knew I shouldn't feel such joy at that after all I had done to her, but my reaction was automatic.

"I'm here, love," I replied quietly, taking her hand. I ignored the dirty look I got from Rosalie.

"Where am I?" She moved as if to sit up, but Rosalie gently restrained her.

"Easy, Bella. There's no need to move. You're fine," Rosalie said softly.

"Rose?" Bella blinked a few times and looked around. She lifted the hand that I was not holding and saw the IV taped to the back. "What's all this?"

"Carlisle's got you on an IV, love. You needed fluids, nutrients." I reached up to place my cool palm over her forehead, stroking her hair back from her face in a way I hoped felt soothing.

She glanced around again at the bed, the monitors. "Looks like there's more here than just an IV," she muttered, but was clearly too weak to argue about it.

After taking another moment or two to finish waking, she focused on my face. "You look terrible."

I couldn't help chuckling. "Thanks."

"When is the last time you hunted? Your eyes are pitch black."

"Don't worry about that, Bella."

Without moving her eyes from my face, she spoke to Rosalie. "Rose…would you mind leaving Edward and me alone for a moment? I need to talk to him." She knew there was no such thing as privacy in this house, but apparently found it easier to speak without Rosalie right in the same room.

I had a very strong feeling as to what she wanted to talk to me about. I was about to have the very human experience of being scolded by my spouse. At another time, in another context, it might have been kind of amusing.

Surprisingly, Rosalie didn't argue. She knew that if she drifted into the other room, she'd still be able to monitor exactly what was going on in here. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything," she told Bella, shot me a warning glare, and moved off to join Emmett and Jasper.

When Rosalie was gone, Bella continued to look at me in silence for a few moments. "I don't even know where to start…" she said finally, her voice soft. I could imagine that her throat was sore from vomiting so much. "This thing with Jacob?"

I nodded. Even without reading her thoughts, I knew that she was well aware of why I had done what I did. I wasn't sure what to say about it, either.

"I understand why you did it, Edward. But it still shocks me. I mean…I thought I told you, I thought I explained what this was about, that it wasn't just some sudden whim to become a mother." Her brow creased slightly with her frown. "Didn't you believe me?"

That was a difficult question to answer. I had heard and absorbed every word she had said to me about this topic, but I had been—and still _was_—desperate. "I didn't really think you'd take him up on it, Bella," I replied, just as quietly. "But I had to try and save your life. I don't know what else to do any more."

"Well, you can try to stop thinking that way, for one thing," she said. "I told you before. I'm going to survive this."

I didn't want to argue with her, to tell her that she wouldn't. It was the opposite of helpful. I wasn't practiced in bedside manner, but even I knew that one shouldn't say such things to the patient.

"Edward…I know you're scared. As I said, I'm not an idiot, I'm scared, too. But we both have to believe. It's going to be worth it, I know it is." I cringed when I saw the effort it took for her to lift her hand from the bed and run it through my hair.

I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth uselessly, and she put a finger over my lips. "It's okay. I know. You don't have to say anything else." She paused for a few seconds, then smiled. It brought some of the light back into her eyes. "I love you, you know. I love you so much it's indecent."

"Too much," I replied simply. "Far too much." As always, it made my heart swell with joy to hear it, but it was what had brought this situation to be. If she had never loved me, if I'd been strong enough to stay away from the beginning…_if, if, if_…It was a mantra in my head, torturing me.

"There's no such thing as too much." Her hand moved to cover her mouth as she yawned. "Oh. Excuse me."

I looked her over carefully now, assessing. Her hair still hung in limp, sweaty strings and her skin was still pale and clammy. She still had circles under her eyes, despite the hours of sleep. But somehow she seemed infinitesimally better. Perhaps the IV was helping, at least a little.

"You're still tired. You should go back to sleep," I told her.

"I'm going to get bed sores from being flat on my back all the time. I feel like all I do is sleep and watch you mope."

I couldn't help a chuckle. "I'm sorry, love. I should have better control of myself."

"I might agree with that, except that I'd probably be in the same state if our positions were reversed. I know you love me, too." She smiled again, and I was grateful for even the small improvement it made in her appearance. She looked more like her old self and less of a mask of pain and physical deterioration.

"That is the understatement of the millennium." I said simply. The love overwhelmed me, crushed me. I couldn't find the words, as much as I wanted to at that moment.

She glanced at the small bed under her. "I don't suppose there's room for a vampire in this thing, is there? I know I take up an awful lot of space right now, but…"

I didn't have to be asked twice.

Carefully, but so quickly she didn't even see what was happening, I climbed onto the mattress next to her and pulled her into my arms, ensuring a layer of blankets would keep her from getting a chill. She threw her right arm over my chest and snuggled her head into my hard shoulder, breathing out a contented sigh. I stroked her cheek and started to hum her lullaby, hoping she would fall back to sleep.

She was quiet for a few moments. "Where is everyone else?" she asked eventually.

I hesitated, still humming. I was torn between not telling her what was happening with the pack so as not to upset her, and telling her so that she wouldn't find out later and be angry no one had said anything. Keeping things from her had never been the best choice in the past.

"Well…" I began carefully, choosing my words and half-hoping she'd fall back asleep before I had to finish the story. "Carlisle, Esme and Alice are upstairs. The others are in the kitchen, talking."

"Talking about what? Not me, I hope. They must be getting sick to death of _me_."

"Of course they aren't getting sick of you. But no, that's not the subject at the moment."

She heard something in my tone, and twisted her neck so she could look at my face. "What is it then? Has something happened?"

Her eyes were searching, measuring my response, ready to assess whether I was telling her the truth.

I sighed. There was no getting around this. "It's the wolf pack, Bella. There's been a disagreement, and Jacob and Seth have broken away from the others."

She paled as she took that in, obviously trying to determine its meaning. "It's because of me, isn't it?" she asked finally. "I mean, I know everything in the universe isn't about me, but in this case, if Jacob and Seth have had a falling out with Sam and the others and the family here is sitting around discussing it, it must have something to do with me and the baby. It's the only thing that's changed recently."

Like that, the small improvement I thought I had seen with her smile evaporated in a puff of invisible smoke. Her heart rate had increased again and the lack of colour in her cheeks made her look as sick as she had this afternoon, before the IV. I ground my teeth together to keep back the fury. Most of it was directed at myself anyway. _If, if, if…_

"They don't understand," I managed to say through a clenched jaw. "They perceive the…_fetus_ as a threat."

"And they want to neutralize the threat." Her voice was flat, clinical. It was chilling to hear her say something so horrible in such a detached way. When I didn't answer her, she merely sighed and lowered her head back to my shoulder. I was shocked that she was taking the news so quietly. It would have been more typical of her to try and leap up from the bed so she could take action, any action.

Frankly, it scared me. This was a very _un_-Bella reaction to a situation that negatively affected the people she loved. Was she so far gone, so weak she couldn't even make an attempt to do something?

As if reading my thoughts, she spoke again, quietly. "It sucks, Edward. Everyone I love is in jeopardy. But there's nothing I can do about it." She hesitated for a brief moment. "Well, nothing I _will_ do about it. I won't do _that_. I know I'm doing the right thing, here. I _know_ it."

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. We'll protect you. And Jacob and Seth don't think the pack will do anything against us without their help." The last part was a bit of a white lie, but a small one.

"It's going to be worth it, Edward. I promise you it is," she murmured.

As I watched sleep overtake her, I did something that I hadn't done since I was human – something that I had no right to do: I prayed. I prayed that she would be right.

* * *

I was still in the same spot, crammed into the little bed with Bella asleep against me, when the sun rose the next morning. Rosalie had returned to the living room hours before and was nearby, on the couch flipping through a magazine. Having done as much strategizing as they thought they could, Jasper and Emmett had left the kitchen and were elsewhere in the house.

Rosalie and I both straightened when we heard a distant howl: it was clearly one of the wolves. Was the pack on the way?

Emmett suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Was that what I think it was?"

_Edward, it's me! Sorry, man, that howl was just me, no one's coming!_ Seth Clearwater was on his way from the forest to the house, still in wolf form.

"Seth is coming. It was another false alarm," I said, and carefully dislodged myself from Bella so I could get up and go to the front window. Within moments, the huge wolf careened into the front yard.

_Did you hear me? It was just me. Leah came, my stupid sister. She broke away from the pack, too!_

Wonderful. We were the cause of yet more dissension.

No, _I _was the cause of yet more dissension, I corrected myself.

I nodded at Seth to show him I understood the message.

_Wow, he looks bad_, he thought as he looked at me. I saw my face in his mind: drawn, tense, the skin under my eyes nearly purple from prolonged thirst.

Dead. I looked dead.

I didn't care.

Satisfied Seth knew I had heard him, I turned to go back to the living room. The whole family was there now, murmuring quietly amongst themselves so as not to wake Bella, who was still fast asleep.

Jasper looked at me expectantly. "What did Seth say?"

"Just that it was a false alarm. And that his sister Leah had joined them."

"Joined them?" Jasper repeated. "Joined Seth and Jacob?"

"Apparently."

"Well, that's good news. It means the pack is down another wolf," Emmett said, but couldn't hide his internal disappointment from me. As usual, he was itching for the fight.

"Did Seth say if Leah told them anything else about the pack's plans right now?" Carlisle asked over his shoulder as he checked monitors and made notes on a clipboard he was using as a chart for Bella.

"No."

Carlisle turned from his work and gave both Jasper and Emmett long looks. "We will take no action unless they attack."

"Carlisle!" Rosalie was the one to protest first. "We can just sit here like targets waiting for them to make the first move! Didn't Bella's dog and that other one say that they're no longer connected to the rest of the pack, so they don't know what the pack is up to?"

"We're not going to be the ones to break the truce, Rose," Carlisle told her simply. "Obviously, we will do whatever is necessary to protect Bella, but we aren't going to be the aggressors."

"Well, I think that's insane. We…" she started to argue.

"I'll hear them coming, Rosalie," I interrupted. I was getting sick of the sound of her voice. "And Jacob, Seth and Leah will continue patrolling around the house. They'll be able to warn us, too. We won't be caught off guard."

She sniffed at me derisively. "I would have thought _you_ would be the first person wanting to deal with them once and for all."

"Whatever issues I have with Jacob Black don't mean that I feel like starting a war. I have enough to worry about," I snapped.

"Besides, Rose, Bella wouldn't like it. I thought you were all about her comfort right now," Alice added. _Good one, Alice_, I thought, shooting her a grateful glance.

"I'm all about her safety even more. Hers and the baby's," Rosalie retorted.

I felt my teeth grind together almost of their own volition. It was one thing when Bella referred to the monster as a 'baby', but it was another altogether when one of the others did, especially Rosalie. I still wasn't buying that this newfound interest she had in Bella wasn't primarily a selfish one.

Carlisle saw me open my mouth, ready to release some pent-up frustration by tearing into Rosalie, and put a hand on my shoulder to restrain me. "It's been decided," he said simply, glancing at each vampire in turn. He seldom made unilateral decisions as leader of the family and imposed them without discussion, but this was a matter about which he felt particularly strident. No one would oppose him.

As if to signify that that subject was closed, Carlisle returned to his clipboard to scratch a few final notes, then changed the subject. "I think the IV is helping, at least a little," he advised. "It keeps her hydrated somewhat. I'd still like to see her keep down some actual food, but I just don't know if she'll be able to at this point."

"Maybe soup or something light? Clear broth?" Esme asked hopefully. "I'll make anything. We can try whatever you think might work."

I absorbed my adoptive mother's earnest expression. I had been so preoccupied with everything else, I hadn't noticed how her motherly instincts had kicked into overdrive. She had been trying to maintain a respectful distance, but she was desperate to help the one of her brood who was weak and ill. The realization made me feel profoundly thankful. All of my family…they had each stepped up and were ready to do whatever was necessary to protect or take care of Bella, at any cost to themselves or the others they loved.

The situation at hand was critical, but Bella and I were still lucky. We weren't left to deal with it alone.

I was about to try and find the words to thank them, but Bella distracted us all by suddenly murmuring my name. She was waking up again.

"Yes, love, I'm here," I was at her side in an instant, carefully taking her hand in mine. Something grouchy rumbled through Rosalie's mind at my sudden movement, but it really was becoming easier and easier to ignore her.

Bella blinked several times and looked around the bed at the seven vampires gazing back at her, concerned, expectant, waiting to hear what she would have to say.

"Hmm. I'm not sure I like being parked in the middle of the house like this. I'm used to an audience while I sleep, but usually a smaller one."

We all smiled at her joke. I bent to kiss her forehead softly. It was less clammy than it had been, but it was still obvious that she was terribly unwell.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle asked, leaning close to look at her pupils.

"Okay, I think." She stretched a little as though testing herself. "Hungry. But I don't think I can stand to throw up any more." She wrinkled her nose at the memory and rubbed her throat, which I assumed was quite raw from the retching.

"I'm going to make you some soup, Bella," Esme said, stepping up to the bed to squeeze her hand. "Something light you can hopefully keep down."

"Thank you, Esme." Bella turned to Rosalie. "Rose, I don't suppose I could bother you for some water?"

"Of course, Bella." Rosalie vanished to the kitchen without hesitation. At least she was making herself useful. Esme and Emmett followed after her.

Alice, meanwhile, had her eyes squeezed shut and was lightly rubbing her forehead. Jasper had a hand on her shoulder and was watching her with concern. "I'm going to take Alice upstairs to lie down," he murmured softly. Alice opened her mouth to protest, but he had already effortlessly swung her into his arms and was halfway up the stairs to their bedroom.

Bella frowned as she watched them disappear. "Carlisle, do you know why Alice is getting the headaches?"

He sighed in response. "Unfortunately not. So much of this is a mystery, but her gift in particular is beyond scientific understanding, I'm afraid."

"She'll be fine, love. Don't worry about her. In fact, I…" I hesitated mid-sentence, distracted by another mental voice approaching.

Carlisle noticed the expression on my face immediately. "What's up, son?"

"It's Jacob Black. He's on his way to the house right now to talk. In his human form." I was profoundly grateful to Jacob for everything he had done so far, but I wasn't particularly in need of another conversation with him adding to the blame and misery I already felt. There was no doubt I deserved it, but it took away from the precious time I had with Bella, especially when she was awake.

"I'll go see what he has to say. You stay here." _I know you want to be with Bella, son_, he added.

"Thank you, Carlisle." I managed a small, grateful smile.

"If he wants to see me, he can come in," Bella said, then glanced at me. "If you don't mind, of course."

"Whatever you want, love," I told her. While the idea of Jacob hanging around Bella some more certainly didn't thrill me, I wasn't about to deny her anything she wanted at this point.

Rosalie returned with a large glass of water and a cup of pale-looking tea as Carlisle headed for the front door. Although Bella could not, the rest of us could easily follow Carlisle's conversation with Jacob from here, and I could follow their thoughts as well.

Jacob was shaken when he saw that it was Carlisle who exited the house to greet him, and that Carlisle looked grim—under stress and perhaps paler than usual. I winced at the force with which Carlisle's appearance struck Jacob and made him fear the very worst: that Bella was already dead. Even the thought crossing the mind of another made my stomach heave violently. I sank into one of the chairs next to Bella's bed and let my forehead come to rest against the mattress. She said nothing, but I felt her hand in my hair, gently stroking the back of my scalp.

Once again, _she_ was trying to make _me_ feel better. My weakness made me feel even worse. I hadn't thought it possible.

As Carlisle and Jacob talked outside, I heard Jacob ask Carlisle the obvious question: whether he thought Bella had any chance of surviving this. I already knew Carlisle's answer. He had hope, but he was realistic. As he explained to Jacob, vampire venom could work miracles, but even it had its limitations. Bella's heart had to keep beating throughout, and it was already erratic, sometimes pounding too fast, other times seeming to skip and falter. I had always been attuned to her heartbeat, since the earliest days of our acquaintance. I used it as my guide to discern what she was feeling at any given time, since her mind remained silent to me. Now it was a constant reminder of the precarious state of her health.

Carlisle went on to explain that the main issue was the fact that he couldn't figure out a way to get Bella the nutrition both she _and_ the fetus (I was silently grateful that at least Carlisle rarely referred to it as a _baby_) desperately needed. While the IV was helping her stay a little more hydrated than she had been, he didn't think it was doing much of a job of feeding her.

I lifted my head to glance up at Bella, cautiously trying to sip from the cup of tea Rosalie held to her lips. From this angle, she looked like she'd spent time in a prison camp.

I muffled a groan into the mattress.

Waves of rage were rolling off of Jacob now, his thoughts a muddle of anger and hatred—toward me, toward the thing that was slowly starving Bella to death.

He and I had finally found something we could agree on.

_Not even born yet…already a killer…sucking the very life out of her…just like its father…a bloodsucker…already wants nothing but destruction. Death and blood, blood and death. That's all it wants._

He felt about the creature exactly as I did. It may not be literally sucking her blood, but it was certainly draining her of her life.

_Blood_…I thought dully, letting the self-loathing wrap around me. This existence had always been about the blood. Taking blood, living by stealing the lives of others. Despite all I had done to resist drinking Bella's blood, the end result would be the same: her life force would be slowly drawn out of her, bit by painful bit, drawn out by a monster of my own creation.

The creature was like its father, indeed. It had to steal life to survive.

I lifted my head sharply.

_Was that it? _

Was that the answer?

_Death and blood, blood and death._

If it were its father's creation, like its father…

My mind was whirring as I half-listened to Carlisle explain genetics to Jacob, the fact that humans had only 23 chromosomal pairs whereas vampires had 25, that he had thought it meant we were actually different species, unable to procreate, that he hadn't known to warn us…things I had discussed with him previously, again and again as we tried to figure something, anything out about this creature that might help us treat Bella.

What if it had inherited the need for blood from its father?

I got up out of my chair and leaned over to kiss Bella's forehead, stroking her fevered skin with the backs of my fingers in an attempt to cool her down a little. "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment." Rosalie was looking at me from her place in the chair on the other side of the bed, suspicious as always about what I was up to. "Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?" As much as it annoyed me, I knew she would have to be in on this plan if we were going to convince Bella.

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked, her voice still raspy.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?"

Rosalie scowled a little, her suspicions increasing, but she figured that as long as she had both Carlisle and me in her sight, we could do no damage. "Esme?" she called. "Can you mind Bella for me?"

"Of course," Esme replied, already floating into the room.

Rosalie followed me out onto the front porch. Both Carlisle and Jacob were looking up at us expectantly from where they sat on the stairs, leaning against the railings. I was vaguely aware that they were surprised by the expression on my face—determined, focused now rather than haunted and tormented.

"Carlisle…" I began, still thinking this idea through.

"What is it, Edward?"

"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the…" I restrained myself from using the word 'creature', "…fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

Jacob's brow creased as he tried to remember what he had thought, other than about how much he hated me and hated the creature killing Bella.

"We haven't actually addressed _that _angle," I explained. "We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."

"I'm not following you, Edward," Carlisle said.

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves—what it's not getting? Jacob did."

Both Jacob and Carlisle grasped what I was saying at the same time. "Oh," Carlisle's eyes widened as he thought that through. "You think it is…thirsty?"

_Yes!_ Rosalie was triumphant. She hissed enthusiastically. "Of course! Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea."

"Hmm." Carlisle thought that over for a moment. "I wonder…And then, what would be the best way to administer…" He was trying to think of a way around the fact that the placenta was like marble. How could he get blood through to the fetus?

Rosalie shook her head. "We don't have time to be creative. I'd say we should start with the traditional way."

I agreed, but wondered how Bella might feel about it.

Jacob had the same thought. "Wait a minute," he whispered, clearly revolted. "Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink _blood_?"

Rosalie scowled in his general direction. "It was your idea, dog."

Jacob ignored her and looked hard at Carlisle. For whatever reason, he trusted Carlisle's judgment, but was having a hard time believing Carlisle would agree with something he found so thoroughly disgusting.

"That's just…" he faltered, unable to find the right word.

"Monstrous?" I suggested. That was certainly the word that came to _my_ mind when I thought of my soft, fragile human wife being handed a large glass of human blood. "Repulsive?"

"Pretty much."

"But what if it helps her?" I asked quietly. Wasn't that the most important thing to all of us? No matter how…_wrong_ the notion might seem?

Jacob shook his head vehemently. "What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?"

"I plan to ask her what she thinks," I answered simply. "I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first."

Rosalie nodded. "If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube."

Jacob's eyes narrowed at Rosalie as he realized that her newfound 'affection' for Bella was rooted in this pregnancy. _Is Rosalie after the kid?_ he thought with disdain.

I nodded once. Yes, that was it exactly. And just as Jacob envisioned Rosalie shoving a tube down Bella's throat to administer the blood, I felt my teeth clench and my expression tighten. He had assessed the situation perfectly.

"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this," Rosalie said impatiently. "What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"

Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. "We'll ask Bella."

He led the way inside the house, and the rest of us followed.

The other members of our family were already at Bella's bedside, having heard the plan we had been discussing outside. Bella was the only one still in the dark, and she looked up at us from her bed tiredly. The effort of being awake the past half hour was already wearing on her.

"What's going on?" she asked suspiciously. I couldn't blame her: she could tell from our expressions that the rest of us were in on something she wasn't yet privy to.

Carlisle took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jacob had an idea that might help you." I saw Jacob flinch from the corner of my eye. He wasn't interested in getting the credit for this one. "It won't be…pleasant, but—"

"But it will help the baby," Rosalie interrupted eagerly. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe."

Bella's eyes lit up ever so slightly at the idea of something that might help. She managed a weak chuckle. "Not pleasant? Gosh, that'll be such a change." She looked at the IV needle in her arm meaningfully.

Rosalie laughed lightly, but I was still far from finding the situation amusing. I stepped around her and took the hand that Carlisle had just released. Previously clammy, now her fingers were cold. "Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous." Even more monstrous than marrying a vampire. Than having sex with a vampire. Than becoming pregnant with some kind of hybrid vampire demon spawn. "Repulsive."

She inhaled noisily. "How bad?"

"We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours," Carlisle answered. "We think it's thirsty."

Bella blinked, having caught his meaning immediately. Unlike Jacob, she was so used to our world that it wasn't difficult for that idea to occur to her. "Oh. _Oh._"

"Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this," Carlisle continued. "The fastest way to test the theory—"

"I've got to drink it," she whispered. Again, it had not been much of a leap for her to figure out where he had been going.

Her nod was immediate, unhesitating.

"I can do that. Practice for the future, right?" she smiled weakly at me.

Rosalie was already tapping her toe impatiently.

"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked softly.

Carlisle and I glanced at each other. Rosalie's toe ceased moving.

Apparently what Bella was used to was the way the Cullens lived. Her mind had gone automatically to animal blood, not human blood.

"What?" she asked, looking from my face to Carlisle's to Rosalie's.

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle said.

"_If_ the fetus is craving blood," I added, "it's not craving animal blood." _Monstrous. Repulsive. Monstrous. Repulsive. _It made me feel nauseous to have to suggest it to a warm, living human…especially _this_ warm, living human, no matter how bad her condition had become.

I had never felt so alien.

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it," Rosalie said quickly.

Bella's eyes widened as she thought that over. "Who?" she whispered, darting her eyes toward Jacob.

"I'm not here as a donor, Bella," he grumbled, noticing her eyes on him. "'Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies—"

"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted, unable to conceal her contempt for Jacob. "For you—just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."

Bella rubbed her distended stomach. "Well," she rasped, "_I'm_ starving, so I'll be he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."

Once again, unconditional acceptance.

There was no way I deserved it.


	14. Chapter 14: Improvement

Rosalie and Carlisle dashed upstairs to get some blood from the supply Carlisle had been maintaining in his office for the time when Bella..._delivered_. I sat in the chair next to Bella's bed, holding her hand, listening to Rosalie and Carlisle debate whether or not the blood should be warmed up, and absorbing Jacob's thoughts about how utterly revolted he was by what he was hearing, and what he was about to observe.

While I certainly understood the sentiment, I was tempted to tell him that he needn't stay to watch if it bothered him so much. But I knew that Bella wouldn't like it if I spoke to him that way.

Besides, I still had to acknowledge my debt to him for what he had done with the pack and for his suggestion regarding the blood, whether he wanted to own that one or not. Seven vampire brains in the house including a physician and two others with medical degrees, and none of us had come up with that idea.

Of course, I was also aware of the residual jealousy in his mind as he watched Bella and me together, out of the corner of his eye. At one time I might have revelled a little in that jealousy and been tempted to rub it in, doing something to mark her as mine.

But now...we owed him too much.

In any event, the situation was still far too serious to indulge in that sort of behaviour. Frankly, I was not in the mood for anything other than taking whatever steps were possible to save Bella's life. For now, Jacob was my ally in achieving that goal, and I would do nothing to exacerbate his pain. I had enough of my own to deal with.

Suddenly, Rosalie dashed down the stairs and flew into the kitchen, on a quest for a glass. Through her mind's eye, I could see her open a cupboard, and cringed when I saw her reach for a clear tumbler.

"Not _clear_, Rosalie," I muttered, rolling my eyes. She had no appreciation whatsoever for what a human might think upon being handed a clear glass of human blood, its bright red colour emphasized by the light shining through.

Bella glanced at me, but I just shook my head.

Just as quickly as she had appeared, Rosalie flew through the room and vanished back up the stairs.

Now Bella turned her gaze toward Jacob. "This was your idea?" she asked, her voice still gravelly.

"Don't blame me for this one," he replied. "Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

She smiled slightly. "I didn't expect to see you again."

"Yeah, me, either," he told her.

She swallowed heavily. "Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." He was lying to her, but I was grateful for it. Despite her apparent uncharacteristically calm acceptance of the news that he and Seth had split from the pack, I knew it troubled Bella greatly. She wouldn't be Bella if it didn't.

"And Seth," she whispered.

"He's actually happy to help." That part was true. For whatever reason, Seth was a good friend to the Cullens. It was almost easy to think of him as a younger brother.

"I hate causing you trouble," she sighed.

Jacob laughed once, and could not keep the sarcasm out of it. I resented that a little. Perhaps she could have done a better job from the start of defining the boundaries between them so that he didn't develop unrealistic expectations—_hopes_—but even when she'd made her choice clear, he had refused to give up. He'd made it worse for himself, and had no one else to blame for it.

And I certainly resented him making Bella feel badly about anything at all, given the present circumstances.

"I guess that's nothing new, is it?" she answered him softly. She was virtually on her death bed, and she still had plenty of capacity to feel guilty.

"No, not really."

"You don't have to stay and watch this," she went on, barely whispering.

He thought that over and considered leaving before Rosalie and Carlisle could come back with the blood, knowing it would save him the anguish of watching her do something he found so alien and so repulsive. Something which would signify in a way nothing else could the beginning of the end of her life as a human.

But he also recognized how dire the situation was, and didn't want to miss the last few hours—or minutes—of her life.

The thought was a realistic one, but it still made me gasp a little to hear it so clearly in the mind of another. The sound was too quiet for Bella to hear, but Jacob did not miss it.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go," he finally replied. "The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" she repeated, shocked.

"You didn't tell her?" he looked at me inquisitively, but I just shrugged. I hadn't had a chance...and there had been other, more pressing things to worry about than wolf politics.

"Why?" Bella asked him.

Now it was Jacob's turn to shrug. "To keep an eye on Seth."

"But Leah hates us," she murmured.

I didn't miss the '_us_', and neither did Jacob. It made him flinch imperceptibly to hear that she already considered herself part of this coven.

"Leah's not going to bug anyone. She's in my pack so she follows my lead." He definitely was not comfortable with the idea.

Bella looked at him sceptically.

"You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?" I suppressed a chuckle at his question, especially after hearing Rosalie's low hiss from upstairs. She knew full well who the 'psychopath blonde' in the equation was.

Bella frowned. "Don't. Rose...understands."

Rose understood all right. She understood the opportunity being presented, I thought bitterly.

Jacob was on the same page. "Yeah," he grunted. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

"Stop being a jerk, Jacob," Bella whispered.

I didn't disagree with what he had said, but did think it was a little harsh to say out loud to Bella right now.

"You say that like it's possible," he smiled slightly, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

She managed a weak smile in response just as Carlisle and Rosalie returned. Carlisle was holding a hospital sipping cup, the white plastic kind with a lid and a bendable straw. He extended his hand to offer it to Bella, but didn't miss the nervous expression on her face.

"We could try another method," he offered quietly.

"No," Bella whispered. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time..." Reflexively, one hand fluttered down to her swollen abdomen as she let go of mine and reached for the cup with the other.

I could smell the human blood as easily as if it had been spilled in a puddle on the floor. A burn made itself known deep in my throat, but it was surprisingly easy to ignore—the last thing I was interested in at the moment was feeding. The smell didn't bother Carlisle at all, but Rosalie was acutely aware of it. She was so focused on feeding the creature, however, she, too, was finding it relatively easy to ignore.

Bella struggled to prop herself up on an elbow. Before I could react to help her, Rosalie was already there, her arm under Bella's shoulders, her other hand supporting Bella's head.

"Thanks," Bella whispered, glancing from face to face of those watching her.

Rosalie guessed that Bella felt self-conscious at the attention. "Don't mind them," she urged.

Tentatively, Bella lifted the cup to her face and sniffed at the end of the straw. It wouldn't smell like much to her human olfactory system I knew, but she still flinched and made a face. It vaguely occurred to me that it was the same face I'd seen her make once when Charlie had tried to get her to sample lamb stew.

She hated lamb stew.

I was suddenly overwhelmed by the fact of her humanity and what this act would signal. I wasn't ready to watch her drink the blood of one of her own kind. "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way," I said quickly, reaching for the cup. I wasn't sure if my offer was more for her sake or mine at that moment. The idea that it had come to this, that my human wife was about to drink human blood...The idea was almost as revolting to me as it was to Jacob.

This wasn't right.

It was unnatural.

It _wasn't Bella_.

Everything in me screamed at me to snatch the cup from her hand, to refuse to allow her to do this.

Rosalie huffed impatiently and glared at me. "Plug your nose," she suggested, remembering back to her life as a human, when she'd used that technique to get down unpleasant-tasting medicine.

"No, that's not it. It's just that it—" Bella sucked in a deep breath. _It's monstrous? Repulsive?_

But of course Bella would surprise me, as always. "It smells good," she finally admitted, shyly.

I heard Jacob swallow against the bile rising in his throat. If I had had bile, I might have done the same thing.

Rosalie, however, was encouraged. "That's a good thing. That means we're on the right track. Give it a try."

Before I could protest again, in one surprisingly quick motion Bella had the straw between her lips. She squeezed her eyelids shut, wrinkled her nose and took a sip. Her hand was shaking slightly, but I didn't know if it was a reaction to what she was doing or a reflection of how weak she had become. Perhaps both.

I held my unnecessary breath as she drank.

When she moaned quietly, I assumed she was struggling to get the liquid down her throat, and leaned forward to stroke her face. _Monstrous. Repulsive._ "Bella, love—"

"I'm okay," she whispered, opening her eyes to look up at me. Her expression was confusing, but it wasn't the revulsion I expected. It was a strange mixture...apologetic. Pleading. Fearful. "It _tastes_ good, too."

I could feel my eyes widen in surprise. _What?_ How could that be? Had the _thing_ taken her over already to such a degree?

Or was she really just that prepared to join us?

I couldn't make sense of it, but Rosalie was jubilant. "That's good," she said again. "A good sign."

I could do nothing but stroke Bella's fragile human cheek as she took another pull on the straw, swallowing down a larger mouthful of human blood.

"How's your stomach?" Carlisle asked. "Do you feel nauseated?"

Bella shook her head. "No, I don't feel sick. There's a first, eh?"

Rosalie beamed. "Excellent."

"I think it's a bit early for that, Rose," Carlisle murmured. Yes, it was too early to celebrate this as some kind of breakthrough. Far too early.

As Bella gulped down another mouthful, she cast her eyes up at me again. "Does this screw my total? Or do we start counting _after_ I'm a vampire?"

She was trying to make a joke, but the question pulled at my dead heart. _I didn't want this for her!_

Nevertheless, I forced a weak smile. "No one is counting, Bella. In any case, no one died for this. Your record is still clean."

Jacob was understandably confused. "I'll explain later," I murmured to him.

Bella overheard. "What?"

"Just talking to myself," I told her. I wasn't interested in getting into that discussion now. Her impending transformation had suddenly become too real. _Assuming she made it that long._

I shuddered at the thought. I knew I needed to stop doing that to myself, but the tendency to pessimism was too ingrained.

Jacob's thoughts distracted me. _If she makes it,_ y_ou're going to have to work on that honesty thing once she's a vampire herself, man_. _You won't be able to get away with as much._

He was quite right. It was already difficult to slip much past her. The thought amused me, and I fought back a smile.

Jacob watched Bella drink, still repulsed. He assumed that he was the only one in the room who felt that way. _They're probably all struggling not to yank the cup out of her hands._

I rolled my eyes. How weak did he think we were, anyway? We lived among humans every day.

Jacob noticed the eye roll and grumbled internally. _Jeez, how can anyone stand living with him? Too bad he _can't_ hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her, too, and she'd get tired of him._

That one made me chuckle out loud, and Bella's eyes turned to my face. She smiled a little. "Something funny?"

"Jacob," I told her.

She glanced in his direction. "Jake's a crack-up."

He gave a weak rim-shot impression: "Bada _bing_."

After another long pull on the straw, we heard empty air. She had drained the cup. Jacob flinched at the sound.

"I did it," Bella declared, sounding quite pleased. Her voice was still rough, but better for the first time today. Having something liquid in her throat—whatever it may be—was probably a great help in itself, as long as she didn't throw it back up again.

She looked at Carlisle earnestly. "If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?"

"As soon as possible," he smiled at her. It was a cautious smile, but it was something. He was feeling hopeful. "Honestly, they aren't doing that much good where they are."

Rosalie patted Bella's forehead, and they exchanged an equally hopeful glance.

And it appeared that the hope might be well-placed for once: already Bella looked better. Her breathing was less laboured. Her heartbeat seemed to have evened. She was still leaning against Rosalie, but seemed more able to support her own weight.

Best of all—as I watched, the rosiness was gradually returning to her pale, ashen cheeks.

She looked like _Bella_ again.

Could it be? Could this really be the answer that would save her?

Everyone else had clearly seen and was thinking the same thing. Rosalie nodded toward the now-empty cup. "Would you like more?" she offered.

I saw Bella's shoulders slump slightly and glared at Rosalie for pushing. "You don't have to drink more right away," I told her.

But it wasn't reluctance that had made my wife's shoulders slump: it was embarrassment. "Yeah, I know..." she replied quietly. "But...I _want _to."

In a surprisingly tender gesture, Rosalie ran her fingers through Bella's lank, still sweaty hair. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella. Your body has cravings. We all understand that." She didn't bother looking at him, but added for Jacob's benefit, "Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here."

Carlisle took the cup from Bella. "I'll be right back."

After he disappeared upstairs, Bella turned and focused on Jacob. "Jake, you look awful."

"Look who's talking," he retorted.

"Seriously—when's the last time you slept?" With her question, I looked at him at little more closely than I had bothered to up to now. She was right: he looked drawn, exhausted. Stressed.

He considered that for a moment. "Huh. I'm not actually sure."

"Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid." She frowned at him, concerned. "Get some rest, please. There're a few beds upstairs—you're welcome to any of them."

I was glad that Bella thought of this as her home enough to make the offer, but felt Rosalie bristle next to me.

There was no way Jacob was about to curl up in a house full of vampires anyway. "Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

She made a face. "Right."

When Carlisle returned with her cup, she reached for it without a second thought and started to drink, her mind clearly elsewhere. The further improvement was almost instantaneous: without assistance, she scooted herself into a sitting position and drained the cup again with a few long swallows.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked.

"Not sick. Sort of hungry...only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?"

The notion made my stomach clench again, but I knew I should be nothing but grateful for the improvement, no matter what caused it.

I was really going to have to get over this aversion to the idea of Bella as a vampire.

"Carlisle, just look at her," Rosalie said smugly. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie," he replied. _Yes! Yes, she was!_ "She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs," she said immediately, and turned to me with a smile. I knew she was thinking of the island, and I couldn't help but smile, too. Despite its ending, our time on the island was still something worth smiling about.

I noticed Jacob's eyes slide closed. "Jacob," I said quietly. "You really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything—I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

He knew what I was saying and nodded. "Sure, sure," he mumbled. _You'd better wake me up if something happens...you owe me._

"I do," I agreed simply.

He nodded again and reached over to place his hand over Bella's. Hers felt cold to him, but next to his radiant body heat, anything probably would. "Feel better," he told her.

"Thanks, Jacob." She turned her hand over to give his a squeeze.

He headed for the door, muttering over his shoulder, "Get her a blanket or something."

Before he had a chance to step outside, two howls pierced the still morning air. They were urgent, warning. No false alarm this time. "Dammit," he snarled, yanking the door open. I stood to follow him just as he threw himself off the porch and phased in midair, running west at full speed in wolf form.

_What is it? _I heard him shout in his head.

Seth answered. _Incoming! At least three._

_Did they split up?_ Jacob demanded.

_I'm running the line back to Seth at the speed of light_, another voice added—Leah. _So far, no other point of attack._

_Seth, do _not_ challenge them. Wait for me_, Jacob commanded. It was odd listening to him in leadership mode. While he obviously didn't relish the role, it was interesting how easily he assumed it when it was necessary.

I had stepped out onto the porch as I listened. Emmett and Jasper were already at my elbow, waiting for my assessment of the situation, ready to spring into action. I heard Alice, Esme and Carlisle join us, also waiting. Rosalie remained with Bella but was listening and was prepared to explain to her what was happening.

"Edward," Emmett began. "Should we...?"

"Shh. Just a second," I held up a finger so everyone would stay quiet and I could focus. "I don't think it's what we thought. Some of the other wolves have come to talk to Jacob, but they're not attacking." While Jacob, Leah and Seth were now cut off from the thoughts of the other, now-separate pack, I had the benefit of being able to hear all of them fairly clearly.

I started to narrate for the benefit of my family while I listened. "Sam's not with them, but he's sent four to talk. He wants the other three back...They've spoken to the tribal elders and decided not to take immediate action against us."

"'Immediate' action?" Emmett repeated. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Keep quiet and I'm sure Edward will tell us," Alice snapped in a low voice. She was irritated, as always, that she hadn't seen this coming and didn't know how it would turn out.

Huh. So the elders had decided not to kill Bella now. They would wait until after she had..._delivered _the creature, and reassess the situation then.

I absorbed that for a moment without relaying it to the others, trying to work out in my mind the best way to handle that information. I didn't necessarily disagree with the Quileutes' strategy, but knew that some of my family members would. Rosalie, for one, might think it a perfect excuse for a pre-emptive attack, and she might be able to convince Emmett to side with her.

Moreover, Jacob was having a moment of struggle with this information as well. He knew that Sam's pack were banking on Bella dying, too, and that he would be so angry with us—with _me_—that he'd join their attack against us in an instant, no matter how Seth felt about it.

My family was waiting for more of what was transpiring with the wolves. With both Jasper and Emmett ready to spring off the porch and sprint into the forest at a blink of an eye, I couldn't continue to keep them entirely in the dark. "Jacob phased back to human form so he can talk. They're still discussing whether or not he, Seth and Leah will rejoin Sam's pack. Jared is pointing out that the three of them have no home to return to with things as they are."

I heard Esme murmur words of concern from behind me.

Jacob's response to the invitation was immediate. And unexpected.

Once again I had underestimated Jacob Black.

"What? What?" Emmett demanded. I must have made some kind of noise aloud.

"Jacob is turning them down. Sam's pack says they're planning to wait and see how...matters unfold, and Jacob says he plans to do the same thing." I had been staring into the forest, but now I turned to look at my family. "He says this isn't just about Bella any more. He believes they have to protect everyone who should be protected, and that includes us." I omitted the last part of his thought: that that protection may or may not include me and Rosalie, depending on how Bella's..._situation_ turned out.

Carlisle slipped an arm around Esme's shoulders and gave them a squeeze. He felt vindicated in his views about preserving the peace with the wolves. Esme was simply distressed about the circumstances Jacob, Seth and Leah found themselves in as a result of their decision to help her family. She was already trying to think of ways to help them.

Jasper and Emmett looked sceptical.

Alice was reserving judgment.

"Jacob has told the other wolves to let Sam know that they're not coming back right now, but that they're not looking for a fight, either. He, Seth and Leah will continue doing what they've been doing. He's told them to tell Sam the other wolves need to stick to their own territory for now."

Emmett raised an eyebrow at me. "Meaning that Jacob, Seth and Leah will be where? With us?"

"Absolutely they will," Esme stated flatly, stepping forward. "Look at what they've sacrificed for us. What they _are_ sacrificing. They're more than welcome with us."

"You're assuming they'll _want_ to stay with us," Jasper said wryly.

"Even if they prefer to stay in the forest. We'll do what we can for them." She looked to me for agreement. "You'll tell Jacob that for us, won't you, Edward? Let him know that our home is their home?"

I nodded. Obviously, it was the right thing to do. In any event, it was clear that Jacob still had his suspicions about Sam's intentions. It would only be wise to keep any allies we had close at hand.

One by one, we re-entered the house.


	15. Chapter 15: Setback

Finding her even more improved after we returned from the porch, Carlisle had given the okay to disconnect Bella from everything other than the IV, which he still wanted to use to keep her hydrated. After that, it didn't take long for seven vampires to rearrange the furniture again and put the living room mostly back to its original state. Rosalie had procured a couple of thick blankets and wrapped Bella in them tightly, then propped her back onto the couch. Esme, meanwhile, had gone to find some of Emmett's clothes that she could leave out for Jacob. I hadn't had to tell her that with no home to return to, Jacob's last phase had shredded the last of his available clothing. With Bella's situation still what it was we knew he would return to the house eventually, so Esme left them in a bundle on the front steps.

His return was even sooner than expected.

Rosalie and I were seated near Bella, a movie none of us were really paying attention to glowing on the big screen. I heard his mental voice outside, finding the clothes, appraising them...trying to beat the vampire smell out of them before putting them on. In other circumstances, it would have been rather funny, especially his initial reaction, suspecting Rosalie of leaving him nothing but a sundress to wear.

Once dressed, he came into the house without knocking. He knew that we knew he was there.

I gave him a small smile when he walked into the living room, over to where Bella and I sat on the couch and Rosalie reclined on the floor near Bella's head. When Bella saw me look up, she glanced up, too, and beamed at seeing Jacob in front of her.

Jacob's reaction was immediate and involuntary: it made his heart soar for her to be so obviously glad to see him, but it also caused him pain. _Married...stupidly head over heels in love with the stupid bloodsucker...pregnant... Why does she have to _look_ at me like that? It would be easier if she just told me to get lost._

I frowned a little. Her response to seeing him did seem a little over the top in the circumstances, but it was very..._Bella_. He was someone she loved, whether she loved him in the way he wanted to be loved or not. She couldn't help her enthusiasm. What concerned me more was how bothered he was by it...and how happy he'd been at first to see it. I had hoped he was starting to get over all of that by now. For the sake of all three of us.

"They just wanted to talk," Jacob volunteered, his voice reflecting his exhaustion. "No attack on the horizon."

"Yes. I heard most of it," I replied.

He was surprised by that. They had been a fair distance from the house. "How?"

"I'm hearing you more clearly—it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there." All of it, actually, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, thinking that no matter where he was, I was spying on him.

"Oh." I was correct—the thought that I had heard everything didn't sit well with him. "Good. I hate repeating myself."

"I'd tell you to go get some sleep," Bella said, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."

He was pleased at the obvious improvement in her voice, that she seemed so much stronger already. He felt comfortable enough with it to allow himself to sleep for a while, and turned to go back to the door. "One Mississippi...two Mississippi..." he counted teasingly.

Rosalie couldn't resist a crack at his appearance. "Where's the flood, mutt?" She had never bothered to address him directly before as far as I could recall, so she must have been in a better mood, too.

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" he asked without stopping. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

I couldn't help laughing at that one. So apropos of Rosalie.

"I've already heard that one," Rosalie called after him sarcastically.

I gave Bella's blanketed feet, currently propped in my lap, a squeeze, then carefully lifted them out of the way so that I could get up.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"There was something I forgot to say to him," I explained.

"Let Jacob sleep—it can wait."

"It will only take a moment." I was already at the door, hoping to catch him before he headed into the trees and phased into wolf form.

He had heard me coming, and was standing in the yard waiting, looking annoyed. "Jeez, what _now_?"

"I'm sorry," I began, then hesitated, trying to think how I would phrase what I wanted to say.

_What's on your mind, mind reader?_ he asked silently.

"When you were speaking to Sam's delegates earlier, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were concerned—"

He interrupted impatiently. "Look, we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless."

I shook my head. "No, no, Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment." We did, but we were also confident enough in our own abilities to stay vigilant. "Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."

He was surprised. "Hardships?"

"The _homeless_ part, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so...bereft."

He snorted at the idea that a vampire could have any maternal instincts.

He very much underestimated Esme Cullen in that regard.

"We're tough," he replied. "Tell her not to worry."

"She'd still like to do what she can. I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?" I had clearly heard them discussing that fact, but again wasn't prepared to let on exactly how much I knew.

"And?"

"Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob. Keeping up appearances, and, of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything she'd like. All of you are."

"I'll pass that along." He had no doubts that Leah would rather starve, but would relay the message anyway. He knew Seth would appreciate it.

"Leah hates us," I said simply.

"So?"

"So try to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you don't mind."

"I'll do what I can."

"And then there's the matter of clothes."

He glanced down at what he was wearing. "Oh yeah. Thanks." _Even though they reek like bloodsucker._

I couldn't help a small smile. He wasn't as good as my family at concealing his thoughts from me, especially when they jumped into his head without premeditation. "Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. We've got piles of brand-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill, and I'd imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esme's size..."

"Not sure how she'll feel about bloodsucker castoffs. She's not as practical as I am."

Maybe not, but I was still determined to convey the offer. "I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors." I hesitated a moment, then added softly, "Please...don't consider yourselves without the benefits of a home." I hoped that came across to him as sincerely as I intended it.

Jacob was again surprised, and blinked at me as he tried to find words to respond. "That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean, thanks."

"If you would pass the offer on, regardless."

"Sure, sure."

"Thank you."

Jacob started to turn away, but suddenly stopped cold at an unmistakeable sound coming from the house: a low cry of pain. _Bella!_ My dead heart leapt into my throat at the same time as I sprinted for the house. Fortunately, the terror that cry inspired propelled me forward rather than paralyzing me to the spot.

Inside, Bella was sitting up on the couch, doubled over, panting. Rosalie had an arm around her shoulders. Both Carlisle and Esme were beside them. "Bella..." I began to say as I rushed over, frantic.

Carlisle was speaking at the same time. "Bella, I need to have a look at you. We need to get you upstairs."

She held up a hand, motioning for us all to wait. "Give me a second, Carlisle," she panted.

"Bella," he pressed, shooting a quick glance my way. I already knew from his thoughts what he had heard, what they had all heard—what had made her cry out that way.

The sound of bone cracking.

"I heard something crack. I need to take a look," he continued.

She didn't dispute the assessment. "Pretty sure...it was a rib," she said between panting breaths. "Ow. Yep. Right here." She pointed to her left side.

_It was breaking her bones from the inside now! Because starving her wasn't enough!_

My sanity wasn't going to hold through much more of this.

I wanted to howl out loud, to let go the way the wolves did when something distressed them.

I wanted to scream and throw something through a window.

I wanted to tear the house down, and rip all the trees in the forest up by their roots.

I wanted to lose it completely, and vent all of my frustration and grief in any way, on any _thing _available.

But I knew I couldn't. This wasn't the time.

I needed to stay calm. Like Carlisle.

"I need to take an X-ray," Carlisle was telling her in an even, rational voice. "There might be splinters. We don't want it to puncture anything."

Bella nodded, sucking in a deep breath. "Okay."

Before I could move, Rosalie had carefully lifted Bella into her arms. I was about to argue—this was _my_ wife—but Rosalie just growled. "I've already got her." Esme preceded us up the stairs, and Rosalie turned to follow. Carlisle and I were on her heels.

I was vaguely aware that Jacob Black had come back into the house and that we passed Alice on the staircase, but none of us paused for discussion with them.

Carlisle worked quickly, even by vampire standards. Within seconds he had the X-ray machine at the ready, and, with Rosalie's help, had just about finished preparing Bella for the examination. Although I desperately wanted to, I knew I would be in the way if I went to her side, so I waited impatiently near Carlisle's desk, forcing myself to stay still other than clenching and unclenching my fists in frustration and anxiety. I barely managed a grateful smile when Esme slid up next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

She was trying to comfort me, but I also got the sense that she wanted to make sure I stayed in place.

It didn't take long for the X-ray to confirm what we already knew: the creature was no longer just bruising Bella with its kicks. This time it had managed to kick hard enough to crack a rib, low on her left side.

I clenched my fists tightly and didn't bother to unclench them. As if of my jaw's own accord, my teeth clamped together as well, my lips a hard line.

The only good news, Carlisle announced, was that the rib hadn't splintered. So while it was no doubt painful, at least it was not at risk of puncturing her lung.

I found that a small comfort. Which rib would be next? Which other bone?

It was difficult to focus on Carlisle's words as he explained the situation to Bella. "There's not much that can be done to set a rib, unfortunately, Bella. I can tape it up a little to keep the area at least somewhat immobilized, but even that's a bit difficult with your abdomen so distended."

"Is that a nice way of saying I'm a whale, Carlisle?" Bella joked. Her eyes flashed in my direction. Her expression was nervous, but I knew it wasn't because of her own physical condition: she was concerned about my reaction.

Her concern was well-placed. My body felt like it was vibrating with tension.

"Edward..." she started, licking her lips as she tried to decide what to say. "It's not bad. Really, I'm f—"

"Bella, I've said this before. If you value my sanity, please do not say you are _fine._" My words were quiet, spoken from between my still-clenched teeth.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh, for heaven's sake, Edward. A cracked rib isn't going to kill her."

I lunged across the room, but this time it was Carlisle who grabbed me before I could reach my sister's throat. I could feel his easy strength; it wasn't something he used or displayed often, but it came with his great age.

I exploded. "Carlisle! This has to stop! It's breaking her bones now! How can we just sit by and let it happen? What if the next kick goes right through her? We have got to get that thing _out! Now!_"

"Edward!" Bella's shout startled us all. It was rare for her to raise her voice about anything. "Calm down, dammit! It was just a rib! It doesn't even hurt that much! And what did I tell you about calling this baby a _thing_?"

"Bella." I took a deep, needless breath. "You are no longer rational about this. It has become way too dangerous. I cannot—_will_ not—just sit by and..."

_Edward..._Carlisle squeezed my shoulder as he directed his very clear thought at me, wanting to catch my gaze. I clamped my mouth shut on the words I was about to say and turned to look at him. His eyes were serious but imploring. _Nothing has changed. Her mind is made up, just as it was before. You acting like this isn't going to make a difference, other than to add to her stress—which is the _last_ thing she needs._

I forced another deep and useless breath. I certainly didn't want to make her worse. But they were asking me to do the impossible: to simply sit back and take it as this creature destroyed my reason for existing. It ran counter to every instinct in my body, every molecule in my being which directed—no, _commanded_—me to take action to protect the one I loved. I wasn't sure I could do it and remain sane.

As if he had heard my thoughts, Carlisle continued. _You have to stay strong, son. I can completely understand how you feel. But you have no choice. You have to be strong enough to make it through this with her._

He was right.

It would take every ounce of strength I had, but he was right. Bella's decision and my family's decision to support her meant that I had no other choice.

"Edward..." Bella's voice was a whisper now, as she reached out to take my cold hand in her warm, soft one. "I promise. It's not that bad. I can take it."

I turned to look at her. Her eyes were wet and pleading and filled with concern...for _me_. With everything that was happening to her, she was overwhelmed with concern for _me_. Whether I could make it through this.

She had already decided that she could do it. The only question still remaining was me.

I crumpled against her, my body wracked with dry sobs. "Bella...What you're asking me to do...it's harder than anything else, anything yet..." Learning to tolerate her scent, learning to touch her without wanting to drain her blood, learning to make love to her without ripping her apart...all of that was nothing compared to what was required of me now: to sit back and watch her die because of something I did. To sit back and watch her fragile body be slowly torn to pieces because I had wanted her. Because I had been too weak to wait.

Her arms slipped around my shoulders. She cradled my head to her chest, softly stroking my hair as I gasped into her shirt. "It's hard, I know it's hard," she murmured. "But I _will_ make it and it _will_ be worth it. I promise you that. I swear it, Edward."

I felt Carlisle's cool palm on my back. "It won't be that much longer. The baby is almost developed enough to be delivered."

"Trust me, Edward," Bella added. "I'm not a china doll. I'm strong enough for this and so are you."

I pulled away far enough that I could see her face. Despite the broken rib and the stress of the moment, her colour was still decent. With the help of the blood she had drunk, she still looked better than she had for days. "Bella..." I breathed, shaking my head slightly. "If this...if you..." I couldn't make myself say the words.

"It's not going to happen that way, Edward," she said firmly, stroking my cheek with her fingertips.

I couldn't quite share her confidence or her optimism, but the fact remained that I had no choice to do anything else.

Carlisle took advantage of the fact that I had calmed down somewhat to procure the items he would need to tape Bella's rib. I held her hand while he did it, and didn't miss the grimace she was unable to conceal when he touched the tender spot. When he was finished, he suggested that she get some sleep. Rosalie had enough sense to back off so that I could be the one to carefully lift and carry Bella to our bedroom.

"Stay with me?" Bella murmured as I placed her in the large gold bed.

"Always." I climbed under the covers next to her, but made sure to tuck the thick comforter around her before pulling her against my cold body. I was annoyed at myself when I couldn't help thinking that it would be nice not having to worry about the chill once she was changed.

She fell asleep easily in my arms, and I was grateful for a few hours of alone time to gather my thoughts and settle my mind. There was absolutely no way I would find anything resembling peace in these circumstances, but I could at least try to find acceptance of my lot.

Every time we found a way to take a step forward in this situation, it seemed like something happened which pushed us two steps back. If it weren't that I was so utterly convinced that Bella and I were meant to be, I would have thought the fates were deliberately conspiring against us.

I had never felt so powerless. Everything was out of my control, and I was going to have to find a way to cope with it or go insane in the process.

At least I still had Jacob Black's promise to kill me.

Perversely, it was the greatest comfort I had.

* * *

Eventually Bella woke and wanted to return to her place on the sofa in the living room. She protested that she could walk on her own two feet, but let me carry her downstairs anyway. She chuckled to see that Jacob Black was sleeping soundly in the front doorway, and I was glad to hear her small laugh.

Rosalie had suddenly appeared next to the couch, and waited for me to set Bella down. Wordlessly, we worked together to get her situated comfortably.

"Um, hello?" a familiar voice called from the open door.

I managed a smile for Seth Clearwater, who stood on the porch peering inside over Jacob's sleeping form. "Seth. Please come in."

He stepped over Jacob, whose only unconscious reaction to the newcomer and the activity in the room was a sleepy snort, deep in his throat.

"Hi. I, uh, just came to find out what happened to Jake. He was gone for quite a while."

"Well, as you can see, the fatigue finally caught up with him," I replied.

"Why is on the floor in the doorway?"

"I imagine that that's the place he finally settled down, and he left the door open for, uh...air." I was quite aware that the wolves felt about our scent the way we felt about theirs. The open door kept the wet dog smell at bay for us, too, so I wasn't about to close it.

"Oh. Right." Seth grinned apologetically. "I don't find it all that bad, you know. The smell, I mean."

"Thank you. I think," I answered wryly.

Seth wandered over to where Bella sat on the couch. "How are you feeling, Bella? You look better."

"I feel better, too," she said, shooting me a meaningful glance.

He frowned slightly. "Hmm. When I was running earlier, I thought I heard..."

Of course he had. The wolves' hearing was almost as good as our own. If he'd been in the forest nearby, he would have heard everything with respect to her broken rib.

"It's nothing." Bella waved a hand dismissively.

Having heard Seth's arrival, Esme floated into the room from upstairs. She was pleased to see him, and hoped it was a positive response to our offer to provide them with the comforts of home. "Seth, are you hungry at all? I just did some grocery shopping."

_Ravenous, actually_, he thought, but answered, "Oh, I'm okay. We hunted a while ago..."

"Don't be silly. We have all kinds of food here. I can make you whatever you wish," she encouraged, smiling warmly at him.

"I can do it, Esme." I leaned over to kiss Bella's forehead. "You're probably hungry, too, love, aren't you? It's near breakfast time."

She smiled. "As usual."

"For food? Or do you want more..." Rosalie started to ask.

"Uh...food for sure...but maybe both," Bella admitted, casting a glance at Seth. Understandably, she was still a little shy about drinking human blood in front of others.

"Rosalie, could you please tend to..._that_, while I cook?" I asked. I wasn't nearly over my anger with her, but knew we needed to stay civil with each other for Bella's sake.

"Of course. Bella, do you need anything else?" Rosalie reached for the blanket Bella had been wrapped in earlier. "Are you cold?"

"A little. I..." she started to say, but Seth jovially flopped down on the couch next to her.

"I have just the thing for that," he announced, and threw an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side.

"Hmm," she sighed contentedly. "Right. I forgot how warm you guys are..."

The reminder of the wolves' raging body heat reminded me of a night in a tent in the woods not so long ago, and I was glad for the excuse to retreat to the kitchen.

We were settled around Bella on the couch a little while later when Jacob finally woke up. I sat to one side of her, holding her hand, while Seth sat on the other, one arm still wrapped around her shoulders as the other was occupied with his second heaping plate of food. Alice and Rosalie sat near our feet on the floor. With Seth present, Alice apparently found it easier to manage the headaches she was still getting whenever she was around Bella. Something about her inability to read the wolves either somehow helped keep her mind clear.

Bella was laughing about something Seth had said when Jacob blinked awake with a groan.

"About time. The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired," Rosalie muttered, without bothering to actually look at him.

Jacob pulled himself into a sitting position and slowly focused on us across the room, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. He was surprised to see Seth there, situated so comfortably in the middle of a group of vampires, and was even more surprised to see that Rosalie was leaning up against Bella's legs from her position on the floor, her head resting against Bella's knees. That one had surprised me, too, in truth. It was an oddly tender gesture from Rosalie, when her primary interest all along had never been Bella.

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth announced around a mouthful of bacon.

_What the hell?_ Jacob thought as he pulled himself to his feet.

"He came to find you," I explained. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

"Yeah, Jake—I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried," Seth added hurriedly, seeing something disapproving in Jacob's expression. "I _told_ her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang,"—he turned to me gratefully—"man, you can _cook_."

"Thank you," I murmured, noticing that Jacob's gaze was fixated on Seth's arm around Bella's shoulders. I couldn't tell if he was more disturbed about seeing anyone else touching her, or about the fact that Seth seemed so completely comfortable in our presence. "Bella got cold," I told him simply.

Trying to pretend he suddenly needed both hands to eat with, Seth withdrew his arm.

"Leah running patrol?" Jacob asked Seth.

"Yeah. She's on it. No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours."

"Midnight?" Jacob looked confused. "Wait a minute—what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn," Seth replied.

Jacob was surprised and disturbed at how long he had slept. "Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all."

_Nothing?_ he thought, and looked Bella over appraisingly. I didn't mind the opportunity to see her through his eyes for a moment. He wouldn't try and sugar-coat it.

He thought she looked better.

"How's the rib?" he asked.

"Taped up nice and tight," she answered nonchalantly. "I don't even feel it."

I clenched my teeth together but held my tongue. It was the frustrating equivalent of "_I'm fine._"

Jacob also found her assurance irritating, and couldn't help rolling his eyes. He distracted himself from it by making a joke. "What's for breakfast? O negative or AB positive?"

She stuck her tongue out at him and retorted, "Omelets," even though she had another cup of O negative propped on the couch between her thigh and mine.

"Go get some breakfast, Jake," Seth said. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

We all heard Jacob's stomach growl as he surveyed Seth's plate, but he ignored it. "What's Leah having for breakfast?" he asked instead.

"Hey, I took food to her before I ate _anything_," Seth retorted. "She said she'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls..." he gestured toward the last fourth of a roll left on his plate. They smelled sickly sweet to me, but he had certainly been enjoying them.

"I'll go hunt with her, then." Seth sighed as Jacob turned to leave.

"A moment, Jacob?" Carlisle had also drifted into the room.

Jacob had a grudging respect for Carlisle, and turned back with a controlled expression. "Yeah?"

"Speaking of hunting, that's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting any of your family—or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

"It's a risk," Jacob admitted. He was a little annoyed by the question, but could not bring himself to be rude to Carlisle. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping it close to home."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully.

"So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case," Jacob continued. "And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast—go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's no chance he'd send anyone that far from home."

"And leave Bella behind, unprotected?" Carlisle asked.

As if I would leave her for a moment. I'd rather starve. And as irritating as it was, Rosalie felt the same way.

Jacob snorted at the idea. "What are we, chopped liver?"

Carlisle chuckled slightly, but his face became serious again immediately. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

Jacob's eyes tightened. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if they were really coming to kill her—I would be able to stop them."

Carlisle shook his head. "No, I didn't mean that you would be...incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I can't have that on my conscience."

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it."

"No, Jacob. We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity." He frowned as he thought out a plan. "We'll go three at a time. That's probably the best we can do."

"I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy."

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety."

He and Jacob glanced at me at the same time. My expression made it quite clear that I wasn't going anywhere, and Carlisle backtracked quickly. "I'm sure there are other ways, too. Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

"The ones that disappear," she nodded. "Easy."

Of course. Even Alice not being able to see would be enough of a warning of the wolves' presence. I relaxed slightly at the idea that my family would still be able to hunt, and I would not have to leave Bella's side.

"Okay, then," Jacob stated. "That's settled. I'll just be on my way. Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

"Sure, Jake. I'll phase back as soon as I'm done. Unless..." Seth hesitated, looking at Bella. "Do you need me?"

"She's got blankets," Jacob snapped.

"I'm fine, Seth, thanks," Bella added quickly.

Esme suddenly appeared with a covered dish in her hands. She held it out to Jacob. "Jacob, I know it's...unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please—ease some of my remorse. Take something to eat."

As with Carlisle, Jacob couldn't help being slightly more kindly disposed toward Esme, especially when she was releasing the full force of her maternal concern on him. Her expression reminded him of his own deceased mother.

I knew the feeling.

"Uh, sure, sure," he mumbled. "I guess. Maybe Leah's still hungry or something." I knew he had no intention of either eating it or wasting his time trying to convince Leah to do so, but I was grateful that he did not want to hurt Esme's feelings. _Don't you say anything to her! Let her think I ate it._

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme smiled.

He was startled by how appealing her smile was, with her soft dimples. "Um, thank you..." He felt uncomfortable suddenly, unable to help himself from feeling a slight abatement in his aversion to vampires and not liking it one bit. He started for the door again.

"Will you come back later, Jake?" Bella asked. I tried not to read too much longing into her voice. Her wanting to visit with Jacob was the least of my concerns right now. If it made her feel even slightly better, I had to be in favour of it.

"Uh, I don't know."

She bit back a smile. "Please? I might get cold."

He took in a deep breath. "Maybe."

"Jacob?" Esme took a few steps toward him as he backed toward the door. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed—I tried to touch them as little as possible." I found it mildly irritating that we had to go to such lengths to suppress our scent, of all things, but was keenly aware of how much we owed the three wolves right now. I supposed it was the least we could do. "Do you mind taking them to her?"

"On it," he muttered, then vanished out the door.


	16. Chapter 16: Waiting

Bella turned to Seth after Jacob had left. "I don't think I've said it yet, Seth, but I hope you know how much I appreciate what the three of you are doing for me. For _us_." I tried not to cringe when she lifted a hand to rub her belly.

He shrugged shyly. "Of course. It's the right thing to do. I mean..." he glanced over her at me. "You guys are my friends."

The simplicity and sincerity of his statement was touching. It almost made me want to hug him. Since he no doubt would have found that strange, it was a good thing when Bella threw an arm around his shoulders and hugged him instead. "Absolutely we are."

"You know you can rest here if you want, Seth," I added. "You don't have to phase back into wolf form and sleep on the ground. There are plenty of bedrooms in this house."

He started to wonder why vampires would need beds, caught a glimpse of Bella's hugely swollen midsection, blushed and quickly swallowed the question.

"I appreciate that, but I should probably make sure I stay connected to Jake and Leah. In case they need me."

Now he had another question. "You know I don't mind what we're doing..." he began awkwardly. "But I _am_ curious. Once we told you about the way the pack felt about..._this_...why didn't you guys just pick up and leave? It would be easy to go hide somewhere else, away from here, wouldn't it? You guys have those friends in Alaska."

"We considered that," I told him. "But Carlisle has connections here, at the hospital. He's able to get anything he needs relatively quickly, without many questions. It would be much more difficult for him to do that somewhere else, where he's not known. And now..." I gave Bella's hand a squeeze. "We prefer not to move Bella too much."

"It's one of the reasons I was hoping the family would have an opportunity to do some hunting, Seth," Carlisle added. "I need to obtain a few things, especially more blood. My stockpile is depleting."

Seth's eyes widened. "You're going _hunting_? For _blood_? _Human_ blood?"

Carlisle chuckled. "No, we're going hunting for sustenance—from animals, as usual. I'll _buy_ the human blood. Which will have come from willing donors."

His eyes widened even further. "Buy it? You can buy human blood?"

"If you're a physician, yes. So you see why it's preferable to stay close to where my credentials are recognized."

"Oh. Makes sense." He had other questions, about how Bella was _really_ doing, whether Carlisle actually thought she would survive this...I was grateful that he decided not to ask them. He busied himself with cleaning the rest of his plate.

When he was finished, he set it down on the end table to the side of the sofa.

"That was truly awesome, man. I can't thank you enough for that. I mean, I don't mind the raw animal diet, but I'll choose home cooking any time."

"My pleasure. Any time you're hungry, please come back. Any time you need anything. I've said as much to Jacob. I hope he conveyed the message to you and Leah." Bella looked up at me with an affectionate smile. It was her turn to squeeze my hand.

"He did. Leah's difficult at the best of times, though. Don't mind her. She has...issues."

I understood. I had picked the story of Leah, Sam and Emily from Jacob's mind a long time ago. Carlisle was quite interested in the whole concept of imprinting, and we had had several discussions about it. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for Leah to be around Sam and Emily.

I supposed it must be something like how it was for Jacob to be around Bella and me. I wasn't entirely without empathy for his situation.

Suddenly, Bella shifted in her seat, drawing in a breath. Every pair of eyes in the room was on her.

"Nothing, it's nothing..." she murmured, but I could see the discomfort in her eyes. She was trying to conceal it for my benefit.

"Bella..."

"Really, it's nothing," she insisted, and forced a smile. "He's awake, that's all. Moving around a little bit. My stomach's so full from breakfast, it just feels a little squashed in there."

"Bella, you know you have to tell Carlisle if there's anything, anything at all." I turned to cup her face gently in my hand. "He can't help you if..."

"I know," she interrupted. "I know. But..._Oh!_"

There was no mistaking or covering that sound: a sharp cry of pain.

Everyone in the room had heard the sound that immediately preceded it as well: another bone cracking.

Once again, my dead heart was in my throat.

"Bella!" I reached for her helplessly. Carlisle and Esme were already beside the couch, and Rosalie and Alice were on their feet.

"Upstairs," Carlisle pointed to the staircase. I had Bella in my arms before Rosalie could get to her this time.

The process was the same as the day before, except that I had taken over the role Rosalie had performed, helping Carlisle get Bella arranged for the X-ray. It was Rosalie's turn to wait with Esme next to the desk, out of the way. At least she had the sense not to try and fight me for the position assisting Carlisle. Having something to occupy my hands made me feel marginally less powerless than I had yesterday, and I needed whatever I could get to help me keep my wits about me.

I was determined to keep any extreme reactions to myself. It was a mantra, repeated in my head: _she doesn't need any added stress._

I brushed my cool fingertips over Bella's forehead. She was sweating with the pain and effort of not crying out. "My love...is it terrible?" I couldn't think of anything else to ask her.

"Manageable," she panted. "I can manage it."

"Carlisle, isn't there anything you could give her? To dull the pain?"

"No. No drugs," she shook her head vehemently. "Nothing that might hurt him."

"I agree," Rosalie said from across the room. Like we needed her opinion. "Nothing too strong. But I think you can still have Advil or something, Bella."

Carlisle just nodded. "I'll get you something when we're done here, Bella. Edward, I'm ready to start the X-ray. You should probably step away from the bed."

Bella clutched at my hand. "Please, can he stay with me? Surely the radiation won't have any effect on a vampire." She looked up at me with an apology in her eyes. "It's...easier when you're with me. Touching me."

I couldn't help the feeling of warmth that settled into my stomach. She still preferred to have me close. Intellectually, I knew it, but with everything that had been happening, I sorely needed the affirmation. "I won't go anywhere, my love," I murmured, leaning down to press my lips into her hair.

A small smile crept over Carlisle's face. "All right. But lean out of the picture, Edward, once I give you the word."

The diagnosis was the same as yesterday, only this time the cracked rib was slightly higher on her left side. Carlisle taped it quickly. Bella jokingly pronounced herself as good as new, but her cheeks were still pale from the pain, and she took only short, shallow breaths. She grudgingly accepted a mild pain reliever from Carlisle, swallowing the small pills only after he assured her twice that pregnant women received the same thing at the hospital every day.

"Shall I put you to bed, love?" I asked, already gathering her into my arms even more carefully than usual.

"No, my sleep schedule is all screwed up already. I don't know if it's day or night any more. I'd rather just go back down to the couch."

"All right."

At least a half hour had passed, so I was surprised to see Seth still in the living room when we got there. I hadn't been paying attention to what anyone else in the house was doing. Emmett and Jasper had reappeared as well. They hadn't been seen much lately, as they had been doing their best to help Carlisle with research.

To lighten the mood, Emmett tried teasing when he saw us. "Little sister, can I tell you how happy I'm going to be when you're a little more durable? And I can't wait to see what kind of field goal kicker you're growing in there."

Bella appreciated the levity. "He's going to be some kind of sports star, that's for sure. Although I guess that wouldn't be allowed, huh? They might catch the vampire genetics during the random drug screens?"

"Why do you think I'm not playing for the Cowboys right now?" he grinned.

Jasper snorted. "Cowboys! At least pick a team that _doesn't_ suck."

Seth shook his head. "Vampire football. Now _that's_ a game I'd like to see."

"You should see them play baseball. That's bad enough. I can't even imagine what a full-contact sport would be like," Bella smiled.

"Deafening," I volunteered. "Like a rock slide."

Seth stepped closer to have a better look at Bella. "Are you okay, Bella? I mean, I know what happened. But Jake will want to know how you are."

"I'm managing, Seth. I can't say this is the most fun I've ever had, but I'm managing."

I stared at her. She truly was the most astonishing creature I'd ever encountered. We constantly remarked on how fragile she was, but in truth she was stronger than any of us. She was certainly stronger than I: when I had left her, I had virtually curled up into a ball and let the misery take me. She had forced herself to carry on, if only for her father's sake.

She really would do anything for someone she loved.

"How bad was it, Bella?" Seth was now asking her seriously, meaning the broken bone.

"Just another crack, I think. Right, Carlisle?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes, a crack. Not a full break."

Rosalie sniffed dismissively. "That happens sometimes even with full human babies, doesn't it, Carlisle? I've heard of that before."

I glared at her. The audacity, minimizing the situation that way. I wanted to slap her and crack something in _her_ body and see how lightly she'd take it.

"It has been known to happen," Carlisle agreed.

"Rose, could you please hand me that blanket again?" Bella asked.

"Do you need more wolf body heat, Bella?" Seth offered.

Rosalie shot him a withering look as she tucked the blanket around Bella. If it had been Jacob, she would have let loose with a comment about Bella not needing to be mauled by an overgrown dog, but at least had the decency to hold her tongue a little more with Seth. Even she could see that he really was just a large, well-meaning kid.

"That's okay, Seth. I just feel cold right now. In five minutes I'll probably be boiling hot again."

I frowned. I had noticed when she'd kicked her blanket off earlier, but she hadn't said anything about being overly hot. "Carlisle...surely that can't be normal."

"We'll keep an eye on it. It could even just be a garden-variety illness, like a mild cold or something similar." He looked at Bella thoughtfully. "I can tell you're breathing rather carefully, Bella, but I assume that's because of the ribs?"

She nodded. "I don't feel stuffed up or anything."

There was a brief silence. Seth took it as his opportunity to leave, and stretched tiredly. "Well, I guess it's nap time for me. I'll see you guys later?"

"Seth, really. You won't consider resting here, in a nice, comfortable bed?" Esme gazed at him with motherly concern.

"Jake and Leah..."

"Edward can hear them as well as you can, can't you, dear?" she turned to me. "You can keep an ear open, so to speak, and wake Seth if he's needed?"

Despite the fact that my mind was still on the idea Bella might have some other illness now in addition to everything else, I managed a nod. It was fairly easy for me to pick out Jacob's thoughts these days, although it was slightly easier when he was in human form. It might not be bad for me to have something else to concentrate on for a while.

"See? Please, Seth. Indulge me?"

Her expression was so hopeful he couldn't find it in him to resist. She seized on his moment of hesitation and led the way to the stairs. "Come. I'll show you the guest room." He followed obediently, Alice only a few steps behind. If he was leaving the room, she would have to as well.

It was late afternoon before Seth reappeared in the living room. His hair was wet and he had a fresh set of clothes on—he had taken the opportunity for a shower, as well. We hadn't moved much from our positions hours earlier, except that Bella now reclined on the couch, her feet in my lap. Rosalie was still on the floor next to us, but Emmett had joined her there so that she could rest her head on his thigh. Carlisle was in a chair poring over another medical textbook.

"Seth!" Bella was shivering under her blanket, but was still delighted to see him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Unbelievably well. That has to be the most comfortable mattress I've ever laid down on." He gestured at her, wrapped up like a cocoon. "You still cold?"

"Off and on." Her shrug was lost under the layers of fabric and down filling.

Carlisle glanced up from his book. "It's some kind of fever, although I'm not quite sure what to make of it. She's been alternating between sweats and chills all day."

Bella smiled wryly. "Doesn't that sound attractive?"

"You've got the perfect thing for temperature regulation right here, though," he grinned, pointing at himself with his thumb. "When you're too cold, you lean up against me or Jake. When you're too hot, you lean up against Edward or Rosalie."

Carlisle chuckled. "That certainly can't hurt."

It made an odd kind of sense. I had already been trying to help by pressing my cold palms to her cheeks and forehead when she had overheated through the day. There was so little I could do even to make her slightly more comfortable that I was feeling rather desperate. At least when we'd been fighting James and then Victoria and the newborns there had been something I could _do_, some action I could take. Doing nothing but waiting for the next catastrophe was beyond frustrating.

"I appreciate that. But right now, actually..." she looked at me sheepishly. "I'm getting hungry again."

"All you have to do is ask, love." I smiled at the idea of something else I could do to make her feel better. "Seth? You haven't eaten since this morning. You'll need something before you go back out on patrol."

He hesitated, torn between the feeling that he really should go check in with Jacob and Leah and a very real desire to have some more of my cooking.

"Of course he'll eat," Bella stated, giving him no option. "Edward is cooking for me anyway, Seth."

He couldn't hold back a grin. "Okay. You've twisted my rubber arm. Edward," he added as I started to ease myself out from under Bella's feet. "Can I at least give you a hand? I help my mom in the kitchen sometimes. Unless..." he glanced back down at Bella, "you need me more, Bella."

She shook her head as she struggled to pull her arms from the blankets. "Actually, I think I'm almost ready for a snuggle from Rosalie. I'm starting to get hot again."

I almost rolled my eyes at the idea of anyone snuggling with Rosalie. I could barely understand how Emmett could stand it, except that he had strange tastes and tended to enjoy a struggle. Ugh. I didn't want to think about _that_ too much right now.

Seth followed me to the kitchen, and I gave him the task of chopping a few vegetables to keep him busy. I didn't mind his company; his mind was so pure and positive it was a delightful change from the constant worry that permeated the thoughts of everyone else around me. For whatever reason, he was completely confident that Sam's pack would not attack, and that everything was going to turn out just fine in the end. It was like he simply wasn't capable of thinking any other way.

It wasn't until my cell phone rang and Bella answered it that Seth frowned a little. "Edward, man, I don't mean to eavesdrop...but is that _Charlie_ she's talking to?"

I managed an ironic smile. Of course, he could hear nearly as well as the rest of us. "Don't worry, Seth. No one in this house expects any privacy. We don't consider it eavesdropping. And yes, it _is_ Charlie. He calls Bella at least once a day. Her mother calls now and then, too."

He was surprised. "Really? I thought they weren't supposed to, uh...I don't know. I thought they weren't supposed to know about any of this."

"They don't. As you know, we told them she came back from South America with a contagious disease. Since this..._situation_ was so unexpected, we didn't really have any time to think of a better story and make better arrangements. Originally, we had thought that after the honeymoon, we'd have plenty of time for Bella to see them and say a proper goodbye before her...transformation. But with the way things turned out, there was no way to manage that. We couldn't keep Bella from at least talking to them on the telephone. If we hadn't, knowing Charlie, he probably would have sent the FBI here to see what we'd done to her." I sighed, wishing we had been able to come up with another strategy. It would have been kinder to start preparing her parents for the time she would no longer be around. "We're lucky he bought the contagious disease story at all."

Seth nodded silently. He knew full well that after she became a vampire, Bella would not be able to see her parents or any of her other friends again. The wolves had the advantage in that respect: their families and friends were in on the secret, and they didn't have to worry about the uncontrolled desires of newborns.

But then an image of Emily crossed his mind, and the damage Sam had caused to her face.

I supposed it wasn't particularly easy for them, either. The supernatural world could be a cruel mistress.

"So what's gonna happen...after?" he asked tentatively. "What will she tell them? Or will you all just disappear?" I was touched that he didn't like that idea. We had so few friends.

I sighed. "We don't know yet. Bella has a few ideas, but none of us have really been able to come up with what I consider a workable plan. Bella hates the idea of causing her parents grief so much that she seems determined to maintain a relationship with them, but I have significant doubts about that."

He had visions of faking a funeral, Bella lying statue-still in a coffin and pretending to be dead so that her parents could bury her. The idea of standing there while Charlie and Renee mourned her and she forced herself not to move, not to go to them, made me shudder.

There was nothing she wasn't giving up to be with me. Friends...family...life.

I gripped the counter with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut against that vision. It made me want to tear my own head off. _How could I have done this to her?_

"Uh...Edward? You okay, man?" Seth stood with the dicing knife in his hand, frowning at me with concern.

I sucked air deep into my lungs and shook my head, trying to clear it of the picture of Bella in a coffin, letting her parents believe she had died, saying goodbye to everything she had ever known. Trying to clear it of the guilt I felt. I wasn't sure anything would ever alleviate that guilt, even if I lived—_existed_—to be a thousand.

"I'm fine, Seth," I murmured, still clutching the marble counter top. It was difficult not to crush it into dust in my hands. "Thank you for your help with the meal. I think that's all you can do for now. I'll finish up."

"Okay." He was kind enough to sense that I needed a few minutes alone. "I'll go see if Bella needs me yet."

As he slipped back into the living room, I let go of the counter and slid to the floor, pressing my forehead against the cupboards. I wouldn't indulge this moment of personal grief for long, but for now, I let it have me.

* * *

Seth left soon after eating dinner with Bella. He had sat to one side of her on the sofa while I sat on the other, each of us taking turns wrapping an arm around her to keep her warm or cool as needed. She found it impossible to eat while cocooned in the blanket.

We weren't without a wolf in the house for long. Seth had been gone for less than an hour before Jacob Black returned, letting himself in the front door without knocking. His presence didn't surprise us for obvious reasons, especially since Bella had specifically asked Seth to send Jacob to see her. Alice had seconded the request. It was much easier for her to be around Bella if a wolf was also in the room, and she was becoming tired of hiding upstairs away from the rest of the family.

Jacob panicked immediately upon stepping into the living room—neither Bella nor Rosalie were anywhere to be seen.

"She's all right," I managed to tell him. "Or, the same, I should say." I was on the couch with Esme, who had an arm around my shoulders as I rested my face in my hands. I had managed to fake it for Bella's sake when she was beside me, but it was becoming more and more difficult for me to fight the grief and anguish that were threatening to incapacitate me. The call from Charlie, listening to Bella assure him that she was feeling much better, getting his hopes up...it had hit me even harder than I had first realized.

Even if she made it through this, the idea of the sacrifices she was making for me was choking me. I had been fully aware of them all along, but for some reason the gravity of the current situation was making them all the more real.

"Hello, Jacob," Esme said mildly. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Me, too," Alice sighed, already floating down the stairs.

"Uh, hey," Jacob greeted her, uncomfortable with the idea that vampires were so happy to see him. "Where's Bella?"

"Bathroom," Alice replied. "Mostly fluid diet, you know. Plus, the whole pregnancy thing does that to you, I hear."

"Ah." He stood in one spot awkwardly, rocking back and forth on his heels, not sure what to do next.

"Oh, wonderful," we heard Rosalie grumble as she carried Bella back from the bathroom. I whipped my head up and plastered a neutral expression on my face. Rosalie was sneering at Jacob. "I knew I smelled something nasty."

Once again, Bella beamed to see Jacob in the room. "Jacob. You came."

"Hi, Bells."

Esme and I stood so that Rosalie could arrange Bella on the couch. It wasn't lost on any of us when Bella clenched her jaw and held her breath against the pain of the movement, even though she was determined not to let on how much it hurt her. The sight of the effort she made stabbed me in the heart, but made me even more determined not to let her see the true extent of my feelings, either.

I leaned over her and brushed a hand over her forehead and neck, trying to see if she felt feverish. "Are you cold?"

"I'm fine."

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie said. "Don't downplay _anything_. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."

_Either of you._ I clenched my jaw. Taking care of that creature was hardly among my priorities.

"Okay, I'm a little cold," Bella admitted. "Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?"

"You just walked in," she said with a small smile. "After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time."

He sat on the floor next to the sofa and leaned carefully against her, acutely aware of his movements so that he wouldn't jostle her. He extended an arm alongside hers and took her hand, then placed his other hand against her face. It was an obviously tender gesture, and I fought my annoyance with it as I perched on the arm of the sofa near her feet. I loathed that there was anything at all he could give her that I could not.

"Thanks, Jake," she murmured.

He grunted a reply: "Yeah."

We all heard Jacob's stomach rumble. "Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice suggested from her place behind the couch.

Rosalie looked as though Alice had just recommended she douse herself in gasoline and light a match.

"Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in," Jacob answered. "I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom."

Rosalie was disappointed she hadn't thought first of taking the opportunity to do just that.

"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality," Alice replied lightly.

"Of _course_ not," Rosalie said in a falsely sweet voice. She had just come up with another idea for Jacob's meal and was running through a list of the capital cities of Europe to keep me from seeing what it was. She disappeared into the kitchen.

It occurred to me that I should go see what she was up to, but I couldn't tear myself away from Bella at the moment. Especially, I hated to admit, when Jacob Black was nestled up against her.

"You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" Jacob asked me.

"Yes," I sighed. I wouldn't let her do that.

There was some banging around in the kitchen, and the sound of metal bending. Rosalie was delighted with her plan, and let her guard down as she worked at a bowl with her hands. I sighed at it, but couldn't keep a small smile off my face. It _was_ kind of funny, actually.

Rosalie returned quickly with Jacob's food, arranged into what had once been one of Esme's silver mixing bowls. It was now bent into the shape of a dog dish—complete with the word "Fido" scratched into the side with a fingernail. She set the bowl on the floor next to him with a smirk. "Enjoy, mongrel."

Jacob couldn't help being amused by her handiwork, and was pleased by the meal itself: a rare steak and a big baked potato. "Thanks, Blondie," he grinned. When she merely snorted in reply, he continued. "Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever."

She scowled. "I've heard that one, too."

"I'll keep trying," he promised, then tucked into the food.

After a few minutes, Bella reached out to ruffle his hair. "Time for a haircut, huh?" he asked.

"You're getting a little shaggy," she agreed. "Maybe—"

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?"

She chuckled at his joke. "Probably." The truth was that none of us had ever held such a job, but Alice was, of course, as good with a pair of scissors as she was with styling outfits. A photographic memory and the steadiest and most dextrous of hands tended to help with that kind of thing.

"No thanks," Jacob told her. "I'm good for a few more weeks." As he said it, he couldn't help wondering if she would be around that long. Once again, I suppressed a shudder. I was getting rather good at that these days.

"So...um...what's the, er, date?" he asked instead, trying to think of a polite way to ask when we expected the full-blown disaster. "You know, the due date for the little monster."

Bella smacked at the back of his head with the little effort she could muster. I wanted to tell her not to do that—she'd nearly broken a hand punching him once before, and we didn't need any extra broken bones now.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here." _How long_ you're _gonna be here_, he added in his head.

"I don't know," she murmured in response. "Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimetres here"—she ran her finger right down the middle of her bulging stomach, as Carlisle had shown her previously—"when the baby is fully grown. One centimetre for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimetres a day, sometimes more...."

I watched as Jacob did the math in his head. He quickly figured out, as we had, that that meant about another four days.

He suddenly found it difficult to swallow.

I knew the feeling.

I had to turn away to get my facial expression in order.

Four days until...God only knew what.

"You okay?" she asked, having noticed him go pale.

He merely nodded. He was wrestling with himself, trying not to feel so drawn to her but unable to help it for reasons even he could not understand. He was glad that he knew we weren't planning to leave town right away so that she would still be here for the last few days of her life—at least, best case scenario, the last few days of her _human_ life—but he wished he could break free of her at the same time.

She reached out with a fingertip to trace the tear he wasn't aware had fallen down his cheek. "It's going to be okay," she murmured soothingly, in the way she had so many times before for my benefit.

"Right," he muttered. My reaction exactly.

She shifted slightly so she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I didn't think you would come. Seth said you would, and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them."

"Why not?" he asked gruffly.

"You're not happy here. But you came anyway."

"You wanted me here."

"I know. But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here. I would have understood."

I had managed to make my expression neutral again, and now turned to stare vacantly at the television. Rosalie was flipping through channels like a madwoman. Emmett must have taught her to do that—next to wrestling bears, it was just about his favourite pastime.

"Thank you for coming," Bella whispered to Jacob.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked her. He knew that I knew what he was about to ask, but I didn't say anything. I wondered what her answer would be as well.

"Of course."

"Why _do_ you want me here? Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when _I_ walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favourite person in the world."

"You're one of them."

"That sucks, you know," he grumbled.

"Yeah." She sighed. "Sorry."

"Why, though? You didn't answer that."

"It feels..._complete_ when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like—I've never had a big family before now. It's nice." I was trying not to watch them as they spoke, but I could see from Jacob's thoughts that she had smiled at him. "But it's just not whole unless you're here."

"I'll never be part of your family, Bella," he grumbled again. The idea that he was some kind of brother or cousin to her rankled him. Though he knew I would hear it, he couldn't keep thoughts of what might have been from his mind, thoughts of her as _his _wife, pregnant—safely pregnant—with _his_ child.

The thought made me nauseous, but I couldn't help acknowledging that at least in that scenario, she would have stayed alive.

"You've always been a part of my family," she disagreed.

He ground his teeth together. "That's a crap answer."

"What's a good one?"

"How about, 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain.'"

He saw her flinch, and I suppressed the urge to backhand him. I didn't care how conflicted he felt about her or how much we owed him for what he was doing. _She doesn't need any added stress_ should be his mantra right now, too.

"You'd like that better?" she whispered.

"It's easier, at least. I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."

I could see her face through his eyes. She had shut her eyes and was frowning. "We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life—I can feel that, and so can you." She paused for a second. "But not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track..."

He hated the idea that anything she had felt for him in any kind of romantic sense had been an error, but it certainly made me feel better. Jacob as a brother I could handle. If I hadn't left her, that's probably how it would have stayed, saving them both—all three of us—this world of additional pain.

Was there anything I hadn't managed to mess up?

I noticed Bella had fallen asleep before Jacob heard her soft snore. I was extremely familiar with the signs that indicated when she slipped into a slumber.

"She's exhausted," I explained to him quietly. "It's been a long day. A hard day. I think she would have gone to sleep earlier, but she was waiting for you."

He didn't look at me. "Seth said it broke another of her ribs."

"Yes," I admitted. "It's making it hard for her to breathe."

"Great."

As if I were any happier about it than he was. A flash of possessiveness overtook me, and I had an impulse to shove him away from her. "Let me know when she gets hot again," I said instead.

"Yeah." _She's still freezing, bloodsucker. Don't you at least have a..._

I snatched a blanket off the arm of the sofa and spread it over Bella before he could finish the thought.

_I can see where the mind-reading saves time_, he thought grudgingly. _And it will save me from having to say out loud how stupid I think you are to have let her talk to Charlie..._

Again, as if I were any happier about that than he was. "Yes. It's not a good idea."

"Then why?" he demanded.

"She can't bear his anxiety."

"So it's better—"

"No. It's _not_ better." I struggled to maintain a neutral, calm tone in my voice, even though I resented the implication that he thought I was a complete fool about this issue. "But I'm not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now." _She doesn't need any added stress... She doesn't need any added stress..._ "Whatever happens, this makes her feel better. I'll deal with the rest afterward."

_She's not expecting you to have to do that, is she? She wouldn't just shuffle that burden off on you, or anyone._

"She's very sure she's going to live," I answered.

"But not human," I protested.

I buried my irritation with the indignation in his voice. He knew what the plan was. How many times did he have to be told? It wasn't his place to question it, no matter how much he was doing for us, for _her_. "No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again, anyway."

He finally turned to look at me, his eyes wide with incredulity. "See. Charlie. Afterwards," he repeated. "See Charlie when she's all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I'm not a bloodsucker, so maybe I'm missing something, but _Charlie_ seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal."

I sighed. He must figure us for idiots, releasing her on Charlie if she couldn't be controlled. "She knows she won't be able to be near him for at least a year. She thinks she can stall. Tell Charlie she has to go to a special hospital on the other side of the world. Keep in contact through phone calls..." Even as I said it, it struck me: no wonder he thought we were idiots. That plan really was a foolish one.

"That's insane."

"Yes," I admitted.

"Charlie's not stupid. Even if she doesn't kill him, he's going to notice a difference."

"She's sort of banking on that."

_Excuse me?_ He simply stared at me, waiting for the explanation for _that_ one.

With another sigh, I continued to sketch Bella's idea out for him. I wished she had told him about this herself so that he wouldn't think I was in favour of a plan with so many obvious holes in it. "She wouldn't be aging, of course, so that would set a time limit, even if Charlie accepted whatever excuse she comes up with for the changes." I smiled ruefully. When she and I had discussed this, she hadn't even been able to give me an example of an excuse she thought might work. "Do you remember when you tried to tell her about your transformation? How you made her guess?"

I saw his hand tighten into a fist. "She told you about that?" He didn't like the idea that she had told me about any of their more personal conversations, but I had little sympathy for him on that point. We were married, what exactly did he expect?

"Yes. She was explaining her...idea. You see, she's not allowed to tell Charlie the truth—it would be very dangerous for him. But he's a smart, practical man. She thinks he'll come up with his own explanation. She assumes he'll get it wrong." I couldn't help snorting. "After all, we hardly adhere to vampire canon. He'll make some wrong assumption about us, like she did in the beginning, and we'll go along with it. She thinks she'll be able to see him...from time to time."

"Insane," he stated flatly.

"Yes."

_I can't believe how you indulge her every whim. It's weak, just to keep her happy now. I suppose you assume she won't live long enough to try out such a crazy plan? _

I bit back a growl. I was obviously far from perfect in the decisions I had made to this point, but I still found it beyond audacious that he thought he had the right to judge me. We owed Jacob Black, but he certainly didn't make it easy for me to resist cuffing him across the room.

Whether he was right or not.

"I'll deal with whatever comes," I replied simply. _She doesn't need any added stress._ "I won't cause her pain now."

"Four days?" he asked.

"Approximately."

"Then what?"

He was asking what would happen after the fourth day, but it wasn't clear what part, specifically, he meant. "What do you mean, exactly?"

He thought about what Bella had told him about the amniotic sac, that it was as tough as vampire skin. He wondered how the creature would get out of her.

I had done it so often now, it was becoming easy to suppress my shudders.

"From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb," I whispered. He couldn't possibly be more horrified by the idea than I was. It made my skin crawl.

"Research?" he asked weakly.

"That's why you haven't seen Jasper and Emmett around. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us predict the creature's behaviour."

_There are stories?_ he wondered. _Meaning..._

I anticipated his next question. "Then is this thing not the first of its kind? Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though..."—I hesitated—"your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localized, linked...."

"How did you find...?"

"There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."

"What were the warnings?"

"That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."

_Just like Sam thought. Was he right?_

Bella certainly didn't think so. Neither did Rosalie. They were more than content to dismiss _those_ stories as old wives tales, even though they were both intimately familiar with the facts behind other legends. "Of course, their legends say the same of us," I told him. "That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers."

_Two for two._

I laughed humourlessly. _You should see what they say about _your_ kind, Jacob Black._ Sometimes he seemed to completely forget how far from normal his own life was.

"What did their stories say about the...mothers?"

I thought of Kaure and the single word she'd spoken before she left the house on the island: _morte_. More practise suppressing a shudder, suppressing the urge to scream.

Rosalie saved me from answering by snorting dismissively. "Of course there were no survivors," she snapped. "Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has—caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that—if they even existed in the first place. Something I am not convinced of."

Despite the sarcasm in her voice, in a weird way her reply was oddly optimistic. It might have made me feel better except that it was so clear from her thoughts that the unequivocal emphasis in her mind was the safety of the..._creature_. She was barely even mildly interested in whether or not Bella would survive.

I wasn't as good at suppressing the urge to rip Rosalie's throat out. Without thinking, I was crouching into an attack position, my fingers twisting into claws.

_Allow me._ Jacob's thought surprised me enough that I paused, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.

Silently, he lifted the now-empty silver bowl from the floor and hurled it at Rosalie's head as hard as he could. With an earsplitting _bang_ it smashed flat and ricocheted across the room, snapping off the top of the newel post at the foot of the stairs.

Bella twitched in her sleep but miraculously did not wake up.

"Dumb blonde," he muttered.

Rosalie turned around slowly, her eyes blazing with hatred. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."

Jacob started howling with laughter, doubling over as he shook with it. Alice joined in from her spot behind the couch, her bell-tinkling laugh mixing with his roaring one.

It was the laughing that finally woke Bella. "What's so funny?" she mumbled.

"I got food in her hair," he snickered, barely able to get the words out.

"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed at him.

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," he countered. "Just blow in her ear."

"Get some new jokes," she snapped.

"C'mon, Jake. Leave Rose alo—" Bella broke off in mid-sentence and sucked in a sharp breath. I stood up immediately, pulling the blanket away in time to see her body shake, as though it were being moved _for_ her—which of course it was. It was like something out of a bad horror movie, where one of the characters was possessed by an evil spirit.

"He's just...stretching," she panted, but her teeth were clenched and her lips were white with the effort of holding back a cry of pain.

I placed my hands on her cheeks gently and called for Carlisle.

"Right here." Carlisle was already in the room.

"Okay," Bella said, still panting, her breath hard and shallow. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big."

Jacob's frustration was almost palpable at how lovingly she spoke about the creature that was killing her. Once again, I knew the feeling. For how much and how often he irritated me with his sanctimonious attitude about what was happening to Bella, as though we'd _planned_ it and simply _allowed_ it to happen, it was odd how often he and I were on the same wavelength these days.

"You know, he reminds me of you, Jake," she added.

He was almost apoplectic. "Do _not_ compare me to that thing," he spat.

She looked wounded. "I just meant your growth spurt. You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."

Carlisle was considering that comment, wondering whether there really were any similarities between the creature and the wolves. "Hmm."

"What?" Jacob demanded.

"You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes."

"What of it?"

"Well, taking your similarities into consideration—"

"Similari_ties_?" he growled, even more furious at the idea that there was more than one similarity between himself and the creature.

_If you find that offensive, you should try being its father_, I thought grimly, glad again for my new ability to suppress my involuntary shudders.

"The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you."

Jacob had forgotten about the issue with Alice, but it seemed obvious in retrospect. No one else was immune to her ability. It really was a peculiar similarity between the creature and the wolves.

"Well, I wonder if that means that we have an answer," Carlisle continued. "If the similarities are gene-deep."

"Twenty-four pairs," I muttered. So we were dealing with not only a half-vampire monster, but a monster that might also somehow resemble the wolves, if only at a genetic level? Lovely.

"You don't know that," Jacob stated defensively.

"No. But it's interesting to speculate," Carlisle shrugged.

"Yeah. Just _fascinating_."

We were all momentarily distracted by the sound of Bella's light snore. She had fallen back asleep again without any of us noticing. I supposed I really should take her upstairs to bed, but the notion that the creature had twenty-four chromosomal pairs had everyone preoccupied. Was there an answer there, a clue as to what we were dealing with? What we could expect if the creature could be delivered successfully? Carlisle's mind was racing, and Rosalie was excited by the possibilities. Even Alice had some ideas, based on the similarities between what she saw—or, rather, did _not_ see—with the wolves and with the creature, and what she experienced in each case.

Plus, there was a small amount of comfort in the off chance that we might at least be able to arrive at some workable theories, if not some answers.

Deeply involved in our discussion—which Jasper, Emmett and Esme soon joined—none of us noticed when Jacob, too, succumbed to the need to sleep.

A/N: I've been trying to keep this version of this story relatively PG-rated to keep it in the ballpark of Ms. Meyer's version (though I couldn't resist adding SOME lemony detail...), but FYI for anyone who is interested, the R-rated version can be found on Twilighted under my "SarahHolmes" nom de plume. With the exception of the Isle Esme scenes, that version is the same as this – but those scenes are amped up, shall we say.

Thanks to all who have reviewed, favourited and alerted me...it warms the cockles of my cold heart.

Oh, and one last thing: I'll do my best to keep the updates coming, but I'm starting a major trial in a couple of weeks which may not only suck the life out of me, but may also occupy all of my waking moments. Just a heads up...but no fear, I won't abandon this story!


	17. Chapter 17: Breakthrough

It was early morning—not yet sunrise—when I woke Jacob. I had noticed that Bella's face was flushed with heat in her sleep, and took his place at her side to cool her down. Although I knew it was petty of me to do so, I made a point of carefully pulling her into my arms in a way that would have been inappropriate for him to do.

Jacob was already planning the run he was going to take once he was back in wolf form, deep into the trees to ensure Sam's pack really was staying close to La Push as anticipated. "Thank you," I said quietly. "If the route is clear, they'll go today." He knew that I meant my family's intended hunting trip.

"I'll let you know," he replied, and left without further ceremony.

Rosalie looked up from the magazine she was reading, sprawled out in a big easy chair situated across from the sofa. "Do you want me to do that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Rosalie. I think I can manage holding my wife in my arms," I retorted sarcastically.

"I was just offering, you don't have to bite my head off," she snapped. _Jeez. Touchy._

"Let's not pretend that you can't imagine what I could possibly feel touchy about."

"I'm _trying_ to do the right thing here, Edward. She _asked_ me to. No, she _begged_ me to."

I blocked out her thoughts when she started to run through the panicked telephone call she had received from Bella just before we left the island. I had heard it before, and I didn't enjoy it. The fact that I had made Bella feel that desperate—that _terrified_—made my heart hurt.

"Yes, but perhaps you didn't have to take her quite so literally and treat me like I'm her worst enemy. Like I intentionally want to hurt her." My eyes narrowed. "And don't act like I don't know what your interest is in all this. It's certainly not Bella."

"I'm on _her_ side, though, Edward. Her primary concern above all else is the baby. So is mine. She's willing to die for him. I'm supporting her in that choice."

I was momentarily speechless. That was quite an interpretation of the situation. Was there nothing she couldn't justify to make herself feel like she was always in the right?

_Maybe_ you're _the one who's being selfish_, she added, but didn't have the temerity to say it out loud so the rest of the family could hear it.

I growled, nearly snarled as my upper lip curled back from my teeth. I think I would have made it to her throat before anyone could stop me this time, except that I didn't want to wake my sleeping wife. Rosalie merely huffed in response. She stood up abruptly, throwing her magazine back into the chair cushions. With a scathing glare in my direction, she stomped off up the stairs.

"I believe her, you know," Esme said softly as she entered the room from the kitchen. She quietly padded over to the sofa and sat down on the armrest beside me. "Rosalie. That she sees it that way."

"I know she does," I replied, trying to keep my voice even and not snap at my mother. I really was not in the mood to listen to anyone try to defend her. "Remember, I can hear her thoughts?"

"Of course you can. But that doesn't mean you're interpreting what you're hearing correctly. Or fairly. I mean, you know that Rosalie is loyal to a fault to this family. When it comes right down to it, she'd do anything for any of us, and she does everything she can to make sure we all stay safe and happy."

I stared at her. She had to be kidding.

"Remember how Rosalie acted when you first met Bella? How much she was against you having anything to do with her?" She reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder.

Oh, I remembered that well, indeed. "Of course. Apparently that grudge has carried right through to the present day."

She ignored that comment. "You should also remember, then, that that had nothing to do with Bella personally. Rose was just worried about what might happen to the family if Bella or any other humans found out what we are. Or if Jasper or any of the rest of us—including _you_—couldn't control ourselves around her."

I had to admit that was true. Her actions then had made me furious, but I had always known that it wasn't because she didn't like Bella specifically. She would have been the same way regarding _any_ human. "Well, Bella _is_ part of this family now, and Rosalie certainly isn't doing anything to help keep _her_ safe and happy."

Esme gave my shoulder a squeeze. "The way Rosalie sees it, that baby is part of the family, too, and deserves to be protected just as much as the rest of us. And Bella asked _her_ specifically—no one else, not Carlisle, not me, not Alice—to help her do just that, because she knew that she could count on Rosalie to do it. She knew Rosalie would understand, and see it her way." She hesitated a moment. "In fact, I'd bet that Bella putting that kind of faith in her touched Rosalie so much that she felt there was absolutely no way she could say no. I'd bet that Rosalie felt kind of honoured. Special to Bella, in this way at least."

I was speechless yet again.

It didn't make me any less angry with Rosalie for being so cavalier about Bella's life, but I hadn't thought of it that way before. It made an odd kind of sense.

My mother may not have been telepathic like I was, but she understood her family.

I was still struggling for something to say when Bella suddenly went rigid in my arms, then crumpled and awoke with a scream, her eyes wide and her face gripped with pain.

Worse was the other sound, just as she screamed.

Another crack.

_Another bone!_

"Bella! Love, what is it? Where does it hurt?" I demanded, panicked, trying to remember not to clutch her too hard against my chest.

She was panting now, gasping, unable to speak. I was on my feet in an instant.

"Carlisle!" I shouted unnecessarily, sprinting up the stairs with Bella in my arms. He was already in the doorway of his office. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper had stepped into the hallway from their bedrooms as well. Rosalie strode toward us, her expression as worried as I had ever seen it.

"What happened?" she demanded. "Bella? What happened? Did the baby kick again?"

Bella simply gasped in reply. Tears were streaming down her face, but she managed to point toward her lower abdomen. Not a rib, then. Her _pelvis_?

"Carlisle, see where's pointing," I said. "Could it be her pelvis? I heard another crack."

"A crack?" Rosalie repeated. "There was no crack. I didn't hear anything."

"Rosalie, you weren't even in the room!" I snapped.

"I have spent so much time in the past two weeks listening like hell to every last little sound Bella's body has made, I can tell you, I would have heard a crack!" she snarled in reply.

Carlisle didn't have to tell me to get Bella situated for yet another X-ray. Bella didn't have to ask me to stay with her and hold her hand. She was quivering with the effort of not crying out loud again.

I felt so nauseated I had to fight to stay standing. I focused on Bella's grip on my hand, as much pressure as I had ever felt her exert. She was channelling the pain into that action.

As Carlisle took the steps he needed to, however, Bella's grasp gradually loosened. She had stopped crying, so I gently brushed the last tears from her cheeks with the fingers of the hand that wasn't holding hers. Her breathing was starting to even out, and she seemed to be regaining some colour in her cheeks.

When she could speak, she croaked out, "Don't think anything broke. But it hurt. A lot."

"Maybe it was just a really hard kick, Bella," Rosalie suggested. She stood a few feet away, poised to spring into action if she was needed.

Carlisle was looking at the image from the machine, a frown of concentration marking his face as he studied it. "That's what I'm thinking, too. There's no evidence of any new breaks. In her pelvis or anywhere else." Despite that, I knew that he didn't like the force of that kick. The creature was getting exponentially stronger by the hour.

I exhaled heavily. I hadn't even realized I had been holding a large breath of air in my lungs. I could almost taste the relief. "Oh, love," I murmured, burying my face in Bella's hair at the top of her head. "I am so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am that this is happening to you."

"Don't apologize," she replied softly, her brow creasing. "You'll see, Edward. It's going to be worth it. I'm not afraid."

_I am._

"See, I _told_ you didn't hear a crack," Rosalie stated smugly. "You need your ears checked, Edward." She smiled at Bella. "You must be famished, Bella. You were asleep a long time. Maybe the baby's hungry, too. Maybe that's why he kicked. I'll get you something to...uh..._drink_." She busied herself filling Bella's plastic cup from the blood supply in the small fridge Carlisle had set up in his office.

Carlisle had lifted Bella's sweatshirt and was quickly examining her swollen abdomen. I tried not to fixate on the sight of her skin, impossibly stretched and bruised. Every purple splotch hit me like someone was kicking _me_ in the gut.

I would never get over the guilt. Never.

"I don't see anything else, Bella," Carlisle's face was still drawn with worry at the strength the kick must have had to make her scream aloud like that. Next time she may not be so lucky as to find nothing broken. "It must have just been a particularly hard kick."

I bent to press my lips to Bella's forehead. "Do you want me to put you to bed, love?"

"No...the sofa's fine," she gratefully took the now-full plastic cup Rosalie handed her and sipped hard on the straw. She seemed to have gotten over the self-consciousness she had felt previously about drinking human blood in front of anyone else. I wasn't sure that was a good thing.

"All right." Gently, I lifted her into my arms and headed for the staircase, ducking to press my lips to her forehead, which was still damp with sweat. I could see her flinch with every movement, and held her as carefully as I could so that she wouldn't be jostled as I walked.

I wasn't sure which was worse: the pain she was experiencing, or the lengths she was going to to try and conceal it from us—from _me_.

Bella saw Jacob Black at the foot of the stairs before I even realized he was there. I had been vaguely aware of Alice having a conversation with someone, but hadn't paid attention to who it was.

"Jake," she whispered, forcing a smile through the pain.

He merely stared at her, unable to speak or move. He was stunned by the hurt etched into her features. He couldn't even formulate a coherent thought for my benefit, even to blame me for it.

Carlisle came slowly down the stairs as I settled Bella onto the couch and sat down on the floor near her head. He was still worried, running through possibilities, trying to think of solutions, anything he could possibly do to ease her pain. It was even more difficult given that she refused to take any kind of medication stronger than aspirin or ibuprofen.

"Carlisle," Jacob seemed relieved to have something else to focus on for a moment. "We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob," Carlisle replied softly. "This is good timing. There's much that we need." He glanced at Bella's plastic cup. The blood supplies in particular were getting low.

"Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push."

Carlisle nodded, trusting Jacob's advice without hesitation. He knew I would tell him if there was anything in Jacob's thoughts that should give us concern beyond what Jacob was saying out loud. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa—"

"Not a chance," Rosalie hissed. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle told her in a gentle voice. He was concerned about her appearance. I had barely registered it, but dark purple circles were starting to mark her perfect face almost as much as they marked mine. Her eyes were pitch black.

"I'll hunt when _he_ does," she growled, nodding her head towards me and tossing her hair defiantly. Carlisle sighed, but I couldn't muster the will to care whether Rosalie fed or not.

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Esme gathered at the back door quickly and waited for Carlisle. Carlisle put his hand lightly on Jacob's arm, startling Jacob with the coldness of his touch. "Thank you," he said simply, then darted out the door with the others. They vanished into the trees within seconds.

Jacob hesitated for a moment, trying to decide whether he would go into the trees himself for some sleep, or whether he would stay with Bella for a while—and antagonize Rosalie.

He settled on the latter, and folded himself into the armchair next to Rosalie's, ensuring that he sprawled out just enough that his left foot would be near her face.

In other circumstances, I might have laughed.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out," she muttered, making a show of wrinkling her nose.

"Have you heard this one, Psycho?" he said in a leisurely voice. "How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

This was actually one she had _not_ heard before, but she wasn't about to take the bait.

"Well?" he asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

She ignored him, flipping the television on with the remote control she held in her hand.

"Has she heard it?" he asked me.

"No," I murmured, not turning my gaze from Bella's face. Her features seemed to be relaxing further, and I was grateful that the pain seemed to have subsided at least a little—for the moment.

"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker—a blonde's brain cells die _alone_."

"I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast," Rosalie said evenly, still not bothering to look at him. "Don't forget that."

"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."

I almost wished she _would_ give him an excuse to strike at her. It would save me from doing it, and that way Emmett couldn't be angry with me.

"Enough, Jacob," Bella sighed, scowling.

"You want me to take off?" he asked her. He wondered whether she was finally ready to let him go. While he certainly feared that might be the case, he almost longed for it, too. I had a brief moment of hope. Could we possibly be on the verge of solving at least one of my problems?

In typical Bella fashion, however, her scowl cleared and she looked upset at the idea he would leave her. "No! Of course not."

I was unable to hold back a small sigh, and was glad that Jacob's heavier sigh drowned it out.

"You look tired," Bella remarked, casting her eyes over his face.

"Dead beat," he admitted.

"_I'd_ like to beat you dead," Rosalie muttered, but kept her voice low enough that Bella would not hear her.

Jacob ignored that remark and slumped deeper into the chair, perhaps settling in to sleep. The smell of vampire in the house didn't seem to be bothering him as it had before. I barely registered the wolf scent myself. Oddly, we were getting used to each other.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Rosalie had muted the volume on the television, so the only audible sound was Jacob's and Bella's breathing.

"Rose..." Bella said after a few moments, gesturing toward her now-empty cup.

"Of course," Rosalie had taken the cup and darted upstairs before Bella could even finish the question.

I continued to study Bella's face in the silence. She had closed her eyes and relaxed into the cushions, her left hand extended to rest on my shoulder. The three of us presented a strange tableau, I thought...the teenage yet 108-year-old vampire, his hugely pregnant human wife, and her werewolf of a best friend, all huddled together in the living room of an elegant house hidden deep in the forest of the Olympic peninsula. Surely someone should be writing a story about this. The situation was bizarre enough to inspire a whole new genre.

No longer contorted with pain, Bella's features were as beautiful as ever. I would never become complacent about the sight of her, of her porcelain skin and long dark eyelashes, her thick mane of hair bunched around her shoulders. She was as stunning as ever, but I desperately missed the way she had been before this nightmare had started, happy, full of life, and thrilled to be alone with me on the island. I wondered if we would ever know that kind of contentment, ever again. I was filled with longing for it, the want wrestling for dominance with the fear and guilt and self-loathing that saturated every cell of my body.

I reached out to stroke her cheek with the backs of my fingers, but suddenly froze, my hand halfway to its destination.

I had heard something. Not a sound, but a thought. Yet not a thought, exactly. Not words. More like a feeling or a sensation—_several_ feelings and sensations.

_Warmth...hunger...contentment..._

It wasn't Jacob or Rosalie. Or anyone else I knew. _Bella?_ Was I suddenly hearing _Bella?_

"Did you say something?" I asked, staring at her. She had felt me freeze next to her and was staring back, confused. I concentrated hard, extending my mind out to hers as I had probably a million times before, in all of the moments I had desperately wished I could know what she, of all people, was thinking.

"Me?" she asked. "I didn't say anything."

I got up on my knees and leaned toward her, still concentrating, fixing my eyes on hers. "What are you thinking about right now?"

_Warmth...hunger...contentment..._

She stared back at me blankly. "Nothing. What's going on?"

"What were you thinking about a minute ago?"

"Just...Esme's island. And feathers." She automatically blushed a faint crimson.

_Warmth...hunger...contentment...love..._

"Say something else," I whispered. Still not thoughts exactly, but definitely mental processes. Impressions. Feelings.

"Like what?" she demanded. "Edward, what's going on?"

_Love...love...love..._ A sensation of overwhelming, unconditional love, intensified whenever she spoke. It was love for _Bella_. It was love so all-consuming it mirrored my own. And it wasn't Jacob. It was...

_Impossible!_

But it had to be!

Still on my knees, I reached out and very gently placed my hands on Bella's huge, rounded stomach. I was aware that Rosalie had reappeared in the room, but ignored her gasp of surprise.

"The f—" I swallowed. Fetus? The word was too clinical, too detached for what I was hearing—or _feeling_—from it. There was no other possible source for these thoughts. "It..." I struggled to form the words. "...the baby likes the sound of your voice."

An astonished silence fell on the room like a blanket. Bella's eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at me and realized what I was saying.

"_Holy, crow, you can hear him!_" she shouted, then winced with pain.

I had felt that one under my hands. There had been a kick, a reaction of surprise in response to Bella yelling out loud.

I watched as one of my hands trailed up over her belly to the top, rubbing gently over the spot where the kick had landed. It was as if they were moving of their own volition. I didn't feel connected to them, to any part of my body. I was too light-headed with shock. And emotion.

"Shh," I heard myself murmur. "You startled it...him."

Her eyes widened even further. She was astonished, too, but patted the side of her stomach lightly. "Sorry, baby."

I barely heard her as I struggled to focus, to listen again. Jacob's and Rosalie's minds were both racing, and I had to concentrate to block them out and keep my own mind from reeling.

"What's he thinking now?" Bella demanded eagerly, trying to prop herself up on her elbows.

"It...he or she, is..." I paused and looked up into her eyes, which were now shining with wonder and excitement. She looked awestruck. She was stunned, but not in the same way that I was. She was _vindicated_. I was...blown away.

I had expected, _assumed_, nothing but evil. Nothing but a parasite's selfish desire to suck the life out of its host and come bursting into the world to wreak havoc and devastation.

In my wildest imagination, I hadn't expected the overwhelming sense of _love_ for its mother. The contentment. The happiness to be alive.

"He's _happy_," I finally managed to say, the incredulity saturating my voice.

Bella's breath caught. The biggest smile I had seen on her face since the island lit up her features, and tears of unadulterated joy slid down her face.

She was stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful. She glowed.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," she sang in a soothing voice, rubbing her stomach as the tears fell from her chin and dampened the collar of her sweatshirt. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

_Happy...content...love..._

I decided that it wasn't exactly accurate to say that I could hear these thoughts coming from the being inside Bella's body. It was more like I could _feel_ the emotions myself, as if they were my own. I could feel their intensity, especially when Bella spoke.

I had thought it was a monster intent on or at least careless as to whether it killed her. But it...

It loved her. It loved her like I did. It didn't _want_ to hurt her at all.

I couldn't process the flurry of my own emotions. They were passing over me too quickly. Amazement...wonder...relief.

Overwhelming relief.

If it loved her this much, just _maybe_...

I heard my voice, but wasn't conscious of having decided to say anything. "What did you call him?"

Bella blushed again. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want...well, you know."

_Named_ him? No, of course I hadn't thought of _naming_ him...or her. I couldn't tell which. Naming him had been just about the last thing on my mind. "EJ?"

"Your father's name was Edward, too," she replied simply.

"Yes, it was," I murmured absently. Edward _Junior_? Edward Masen the third?

For all the strange things I had seen in my long decades of existence, my imagination had never been wild enough to conjure up _that_ scenario. I had firmly, permanently discarded it as a possibility ninety years ago.

_Love...happy..._

"What--?" I heard my voice say. I didn't think I could get more surprised than I already was, but this time the emotions weren't directed toward Bella.

They were directed toward _me_. The sound of _my_ voice.

My heart swelled. I could only croak out a noise, not a word: "Hmm."

"What?" Bella demanded again. She was studying my every reaction, trying to discern what I was hearing from my face.

"He likes my voice, too," I heard myself say, impossibly.

"Of course he does," she stated flatly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

I was almost startled when Rosalie leaned over the back of the sofa. I had forgotten anyone else was even in the room. Her expression was full of wonder, too, and she felt smug. Vindicated, the same as Bella. _I _told_ you, you pessimistic idiot_, she shot at me, forcefully enough to catch my attention despite the fact that I had been trying to ignore everything else to focus on the...baby.

"Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie asked. "What if he's a she?"

Bella absently wiped at her tears with the back of her hand. It occurred to me that I should get her a tissue, but I was frozen to the spot, my hands still resting on her belly. "I kicked a few things around," she admitted. "Playing with Renee and Esme. I was thinking...Ruh-_nez_-may."

"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie repeated.

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"

"No, I like it," Rosalie assured her, her blonde hair next to and contrasting with Bella's chestnut mane. "It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so _that_ fits."

"I still think he's an Edward."

I heard that but was having significant trouble processing it. I couldn't organize my thoughts.

The vicious monster I had hated and feared really _was_ a baby.

My baby.

And my wife wanted to name it after me.

It didn't make sense. It wasn't possible.

Except that it was.

Like so many other things I had deemed impossible since meeting Bella, it was possible after all. Because it had really happened.

The evidence was right in front of me.

Bella's face glowed as she looked at me, watched me stare into space as I concentrated again.

_Love...love...love..._

The emotion was pure and clear. Unmistakeable.

"What?" Bella asked me, still beaming. "What's he thinking now?"

I paused, still concentrating.

_Love...love...love..._

I leaned over and laid my right ear gently on Bella's abdomen, wondering if the contact would help me hear—feel—more. I faintly registered three gasps of surprise in the room.

"He loves you," I whispered, dazed. Astonished. Stunned. There weren't enough adjectives in the English language to describe it. I was going to have to pull some more from a few other languages. "He absolutely _adores_ you."

Bella's hand fell to the back of my neck, her fingers stroking my hair tenderly.

She had always felt connected to the life growing inside her, from the first moment she realized what it was.

For the first time, I felt it, too.

I basked in it, rejoiced in it, my ear to her stomach and her hand on my neck. Against all conceivable odds, my decades of loneliness had ended with finding my soul mate, and now our little bubble of perfection was not going to burst as I had feared. It was simply going to expand, and include..._our baby_.

The fates hadn't been mocking me. They had been giving me an unimaginable gift. _Another_ unimaginable gift. We were a family. An actual, biological family.

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, another set of emotions poured over me. Rage. Betrayal. Suffering. Pain. Loathing.

They were such a sharp, knife-edged contrast to the love and contentment I had been revelling in that I gasped, choked on a non-verbal noise deep in my throat.

But I knew immediately where they were coming from: Jacob had leapt to his feet and was quivering with the negativity coursing through his body and mind. He didn't know what to do or where to go, but he knew he needed to get out of there. Now.

Reacting without thinking, I gave him what I would have wanted if I were in his situation: a means of escape. In one movement, I leapt over to the end table, snatched my car keys out of the drawer and tossed them to him. "Go, Jacob. Get away from here."

He caught them easily and said nothing before turning to sprint for the garage.

Bella was blinking in surprise, startled by the sudden movement. She had clearly forgotten he was even there. "What...what?" she managed to say.

I felt my jaw tighten. I didn't blame him at all for his reaction to what he had just seen. He had been counting on me as the one person who felt as he did, who hated this baby like poison and couldn't bear to see Bella suffer for it for one second. He felt betrayed, abandoned and alone in his grief. He felt the way he had when Bella had told him she was choosing me, that she was going to marry me.

I wasn't without empathy.

"Don't worry about that dog, Bella," Rosalie said, trying to be soothing. "He'll come back. He always does." She arched an eyebrow at me. "I can't believe you gave him the keys to your Aston Martin, though. He'll probably total it on purpose."

"It's just a car, Rosalie," I murmured, and shook my head to clear it. I couldn't focus on his grief right now. The biggest thing—or maybe the second biggest thing—that had ever happened to me in my long existence had just occurred. I was still having enough trouble processing _that_.

Bella bit her lower lip, worried. One hand still rubbed her belly absently. "He...he won't hurt himself, will he?"

"I don't think so, love," I assured her. Truthfully, I didn't know, although I doubted it. Jacob had never struck me as the least bit suicidal. Like me, as long as Bella stayed in the world, he would stay in it, too, no matter what he had to endure. I knelt back down on the floor next to her and placed my hand over hers, on her stomach. She switched our positions so that my hand was against the fabric of her sweatshirt, hers overtop of mine. She smiled broadly again, distracted from her concern for Jacob.

"What's he thinking now?"

I couldn't help but smile back. I had a feeling she would be asking me this every two minutes from now on. "It's not exactly thoughts that I'm getting, love. More like impressions or feelings. I don't think he exactly understands language yet, so it's not as though he's forming words."

"Okay, what's he _feeling_ now?"

I concentrated for a moment. Still warm, still content, still happy, still filled with love...but also... I grinned. It had been so long since I had smiled like that, it felt strange on my face, like it was stretching long-unused, nearly atrophied muscles. "Hungry. He's hungry."

"I certainly have just the thing for that," Rosalie said, and snatched the now-full plastic cup from where she had set it on the end table. Bella took it gratefully.

"Does he like anything other than blood?" she asked, drawing heavily on the straw. Once more I noted that she didn't give a second thought now to consuming a cup full of human blood.

Again, I concentrated for a moment. "I can't tell. I don't think he knows the difference between...foods. He just knows when he's hungry."

"At least it will be helpful for us to have that much information," Rosalie observed. "Maybe if we can keep him settled down he won't kick you as much, Bella."

I nodded. "That seems logical." I certainly hoped that was the case, anyway. It would be a humungous relief to be able to take proactive steps to minimize Bella's pain.

"I think he's just running out of room in there," Bella hummed affectionately between sips, her free hand still on top of mine. She squeezed my fingers. "Isn't that why he kicks? I wish we could _ask_ him somehow."

"He seems to react to what he hears us saying, or at least the tone of our voices. Perhaps if we can stay calm and keep him fed and content, he'll stay settled and not hurt you, as Rose suggests." I paused thoughtfully. "For how much he loves you, Bella, I think I can say confidently that he doesn't _want_ to hurt you."

"Of course he doesn't," she crooned, lifting her hand from mine to rub the side of her belly, "He's a good boy, I know it."

Rosalie smiled and shook her head in amusement. "You should at least switch back and forth between calling him a 'he' or a 'she'. You're going to be in for a big surprise if it really is a girl."

"Habit," Bella shrugged happily. "It's just what I've imagined from the beginning. A little Edward in my arms, all bronze hair and green eyes."

My stone heart swelled at the adoring look she gave me as she said it. The surge of emotion stole my ability to reply. I tried to imagine what she imagined...a smaller version of..._me_. Toddling around this very living room. Older, old enough to play a little vampire baseball with me and Emmett and Jasper.

But really, now that I allowed myself to consider it at all, what I hoped for was a little Bella in _my_ arms. Thick mahogany waves, long eyelashes over chocolate brown eyes. Two Bellas for all the love in my heart that now seemed to be too big for just one.

I hadn't realized Bella and I were just staring at each other, probably with as much goo and adoration in our eyes as had ever been there, until Rosalie cleared her throat.

"Do you think we should call Carlisle?" she asked. "He should probably be told about this new development."

I managed to pull myself out of the moment and nod. "Yes, that's true. I'll call him."

Carlisle answered his cell phone on the first ring, his voice panicked. Of course, he assumed something was terribly wrong—if not with Bella, then with the wolves. "Edward? What is it?" I could hear Esme murmuring worriedly next to him.

"Nothing's wrong, Carlisle. Everything is fine here," I assured him quickly. "I just wanted to let you know there's been an interesting change." I explained what had happened, and that it seemed I had been able to establish a kind of rudimentary communication with the baby.

He was quiet, thoughtful. "That _is_ interesting," he murmured eventually. "And potentially helpful." He repeated what we had discussed earlier about the possibility that we could now keep the baby calm and less inclined to hurt Bella.

"Yes, that's what we thought, too. But I had another thought, Carlisle. If the baby is at the stage now where he can understand us and I can understand him, maybe he's more developed than we've realized. Every hour he stays in Bella's womb is another hour that he might do something to harm her, whether he means to or not. And it's another hour that something else could go wrong. Perhaps we should look at adjusting the schedule and delivering him as soon as possible."

Bella and Rosalie both stared at me, surprised. I hadn't mentioned that to them yet, but it had actually just occurred to me.

Naturally, Rosalie was the first to voice an objection. "Wait a second, Edward. How do we know that's safe?"

"It's not a bad thought at all, son," Carlisle mused. "At most, he would be the equivalent of a few weeks premature, if he could be considered premature at all. Human babies are delivered early all the time in those circumstances, where there's a risk in waiting. I'd like to have some additional equipment on hand, though, to deal with any possible complications involved in delivering early."

Rosalie could hear Carlisle's side of the conversation as easily as I could. I held the phone near Bella's ear so she could hear also. However, it was Rosalie that scowled. "Complications?" she repeated. "I don't like the sound of that."

"There are potential complications in leaving him where he is, too, Rose," Carlisle told her. "At least this way we can control the situation and be prepared. He probably _is_ running out of room. It may not be safe for him _not_ to get him out as soon as we can."

Rosalie didn't look convinced, but Bella was merely studying my face. "I trust you, Edward," she said softly. "I trust you to do what's best. Both you and Carlisle."

I squeezed her hand gently, touched by her faith in me and her faith that my feelings had been sufficiently converted that I wouldn't take unnecessary risks with the baby any more than I would take unnecessary risks with her.

Her faith was well-founded.

"When can you be back, Carlisle?" I asked.

"We'll finish with the hunting as quickly as we can, then pick up the supplies we need. I'll call now and order the few additional things I want to have for the delivery, and tell them to put a rush on it. I should think we can be back by noon tomorrow."

"Okay. We'll see you then." I snapped the phone shut and kissed Bella's forehead. "Tomorrow, love."

"Tomorrow," she breathed, a wide smile breaking across her face. "I can't wait to meet him."

Rosalie was still at least mildly concerned with the new plan, but she patted Bella's cheek affectionately. "Me either." _You and Carlisle had better be right about this, Edward._

We were. I could feel it.

This was going to turn out all right after all.


	18. Chapter 18: Understanding

For the next few hours, we did little other than sit on the couch while I "listened" to the baby and relayed what I was sensing to both Bella and "Auntie Rose", as Bella was now calling her, both of whom couldn't get enough of the information I was able to convey. They alternated between demanding to know what the baby was thinking and chattering to him and each other as though they were having an actual three-way conversation. They asked Bella's abdomen questions, both of them rubbing and patting gently as they inquired how he was feeling, what he wanted, what he thought, and looking to me for the reply.

I couldn't help chuckling a little as I tried to answer with the impressions I was getting. Really, the baby simply got more content and more happy with the attention he seemed to be able to perceive and absorb from outside Bella's body.

It even thawed my attitude towards Rosalie a little when I felt a surge of contentment and affection from the baby when she spoke, and I could tell that the baby liked her voice, too. I had never, in 70-odd years, seen Rosalie beam the way she did when I told her, not even when she had first met and started to fall in love with Emmett. The only way she could have been happier would have been if the baby was actually hers.

I sat beside Bella on the couch, one arm around her shoulders and the other hand resting lightly on her swollen abdomen. One of her hands was on top of mine, the other held her plastic cup. Rosalie was sitting cross-legged on the floor at our feet. By the time Bella finished her third cup, I started to feel the sensations and emotions from the little being in her womb ebb and fade. I couldn't keep back a smile.

"What?" Bella demanded, looking up at me expectantly. "What are you hearing? What's happening now?"

"I think he's falling asleep," I told her. "He's not hungry anymore and he's content."

She beamed, her face radiant with her unadulterated joy. "Me too," she murmured, setting her cup on the end table so she could rub her belly with her free hand. She glanced back up at me. "How about you? Although you must be hungry...thirsty." She cast her eyes to Rosalie's face then back to mine. "Both of you. You need to hunt."

"We're fine, Bella," Rosalie replied without a second thought. "We'll hunt tomorrow maybe, after the delivery."

Bella's smile widened at the thought. _Tomorrow._

Suddenly, I felt a ripple in our three-way bubble of contentment. Someone was approaching the house, someone boiling with rage so intense that the accompanying thoughts were only a jumble: _unbelievably selfish...doesn't care about anyone but herself and those bloodsuckers...can't see what she's doing to him, too self-absorbed...not even worthy... _

I gasped. Definitely one of the wolves, but not Jacob or Seth..._Leah Clearwater?_

Yes, Leah Clearwater. She had seen Jacob take off in my car and was furious about the fact that he had seemed so upset and still had not returned.

Bella had heard me and was studying my face. "Edward? What...?" she started to ask, and Rosalie wrinkled her nose. She didn't know which wolf it was, but she had caught the scent.

I carefully uncurled my body from around Bella's and stood up. "It's Leah Clearwater."

"Leah?" Bella repeated. "What does she want? Is there something wrong with Jake? Is something going on with the wolves?"

I actually couldn't tell what Leah _wanted_, not through the confused jumble of her anger. "I'll go see," I murmured, leaning down to kiss Bella's forehead before going to the front door.

When I opened it, Leah was standing in the yard, in wolf form. _What happened to Jacob?_ she demanded silently, her lips curling back from her teeth slightly. _What did you bloodsuckers do to him _now_?_

I sighed. It was a little difficult to explain. "He got upset, Leah. We were sitting around and I started to be able to hear the baby..."

_Baby?_ she snorted. _You mean that monster you've managed to breed?_

I bristled. It was one thing for me to feel that way, or even Jacob. But Leah was practically a stranger...

Besides, I couldn't think of this baby as a monster any more. That had been precisely the problem for Jacob.

I decided to ignore that comment.

"I started to hear the baby," I continued. "Bella was thrilled. We all were. Except Jacob. He..."

_Of course. Twisted the knife, didn't you? All of you. Worst of all, _her_. Again. Again and again and again..._With a growl, she darted for the trees but was back in an instant, now in her human form, clad in a dirty t-shirt and torn sweatpants, her face contorted with fury. I barely had time to register the change, before she strode over, pushed past me and stomped through the door into the living room. She was vibrating with anger when she stopped in front of Bella, who was still seated on the sofa.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" she demanded, her voice quaking. "It's not enough that you crush him once. You have to keep doing it. And doing it. What did you do to him _this_ time?"

"Leah? What...?" Bella started to say, blinking in confusion.

"_Jacob_, you selfish...Remember Jacob, the guy who loves you with every fibre of his being for some stupid reason? We saw him tear out of here I don't know how long ago in some fancy car, driving like a bat out of hell, and we haven't seen him or heard him since. What did you do? Where did he go?"

"I...I...I don't know, Leah...I..." Bella could only stutter. Her eyes were wide, her joyful expression of only a moment ago utterly vanished.

It was all I could do not to leap across the room in one bound, grab Leah by the hair and throw her through the still-open front door. Rosalie had jumped to her feet and was strongly considering the exact same thing.

"He's the best, most selfless, most considerate and kind person I know and you've completely wrecked him!" Leah shouted. "I don't know what the hell he sees in you, I really don't! Why don't you just let him go already? What's _wrong_ with you? Why do you have to keep his hopes up by letting him come over here so you can torture him?"

Mustering every ounce of restraint in my body, I stepped to Leah's side and grabbed her arm firmly. I was tempted to tear it from the socket, but knew that neither Bella nor Carlisle would want that, despite the fact that Bella's lower lip was now quivering, tears flooding her eyes. She was too astonished at Leah's tirade to do more than wince at the sharp kicks she was now feeling from inside her. The baby had heard the shouting and absorbed the new tension in the room. He or she was upset, afraid.

"Leah..." I growled through clenched teeth, fighting against my own rage. "You need to get out of here. _Now_."

"Get your filthy hands off me, bloodsucker!" she snapped, wrenching out of my grasp. Her entire body was starting to shudder, and I could tell that she was on the verge of phasing back into wolf form because of the ferocity of her anger.

I wasn't about to let that happen with Bella sitting less than two feet away, frail and human, tears now spilling down her cheeks.

Rosalie was of the same mind and grabbed Leah's other arm, much more forcefully than I had. "I don't know what your problem is, _bitch_, but you'll get out of my house. _Right now_," she snarled. With a swift and nearly instantaneous motion, she twisted the arm she held behind Leah's back and shoved her to the door. Rosalie pushed her through the doorway with enough force that Leah started to topple off the porch, phasing into wolf form at the same moment. Her clothes shredded and fell from her huge, furry body.

_This isn't over_, Leah thought, casting her eyes back in my direction with a loud snarl. In a few quick leaps she bounded into the trees. Rosalie slammed the door shut, causing it to shake in its frame.

Bella was now doubled over on the couch, wracked with heaving sobs, face in her hands. It was difficult to tell whether her body was moving more with the force of her cries or from the force of the baby now moving around inside her.

_Afraid...worried...upset...!_

With the possible exception of James and Victoria, I had never wanted to kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill Leah Clearwater in that moment.

"Bella, love..." I sat down next to her and pulled her into my arms, concentrating to keep the anger out of my voice and maintain a soothing tone. "Oh, love, please don't cry..."

"She's right!" she sobbed, shoulders heaving. "I'm a horrible person! I know it! I knew I shouldn't let him come here but I did anyway!"

"He's a big boy, Bella," Rosalie was now seated on Bella's other side and patted her back gently. "No one was forcing him. He _wanted_ to be here. He's wanted to do everything he's been doing, for whatever reason. He could have left at any time. There's no way it's your fault."

"Rose is right, Bella. I can tell you firsthand from his thoughts that he fully knows the situation. He chose to be here because he's concerned about you. He was entirely prepared to accept any pain that being around you would cause," I added. "He didn't feel forced by you or anyone."

_Damn him to hell for causing her this additional pain_, I thought, knowing even as I did so that I was being unreasonable. He wouldn't be any happier about Leah's outburst than I was, but for some reason I didn't care to explore at the moment it felt good somehow to blame him for this.

"Bella, come on, you have to calm down. You _have_ to," Rosalie insisted. "You're upsetting the baby. It's not good for either of you." She glanced up at me for confirmation.

"Rose is right about that, too, love. He's afraid. He's worried about you. He's moving around a lot right now, isn't he? That's why." I pulled her even closer to my chest, peppering her hair with kisses. Rosalie alternated between patting her back gently and rubbing careful circles against her sweatshirt.

Bella took a deep breath and tried to still herself, but burst into fresh tears a second later when she had to exhale. Her sob turned into a gasp when she felt another sharp kick, but she didn't cease crying.

"Shh...it's okay little baby," Rosalie crooned in a soft voice I didn't know she even had. With her free hand, she patted the side of Bella's abdomen. "It's okay. Mommy's fine, she's just sad. Calm down and don't hurt her, okay?"

_Mommy...Hurt?_

I froze.

Those weren't impressions or sensations. Those weren't feelings.

Those were _words_.

Rosalie noticed immediately when my body went rigid. "Edward?" she frowned, suddenly afraid that something had gone wrong with the baby.

Bella heard her tone and lifted her tear-streaked face from her hands to look at me. "What? What's going on? Did you hear something?" she asked, her voice still shaky.

"I..." I shook my head. It couldn't have been. That had to have been Rosalie.

"Edward!" Bella sobbed anew. "Now something _else_ is wrong?"

Reacting to the anguished cry, I felt the baby kick again under my hand. I rubbed the spot gingerly. "No, baby. I know you're scared. But everything's fine. Everything's fine. Don't kick."

_Fine?_

That definitely wasn't Rosalie. Rosalie was concentrating on my face, trying to figure out what I was hearing.

"Don't kick, baby," I said again, experimenting now. "You hurt Mommy when you kick. Please try not to kick."

_Hurt Mommy?_

"Yes. Just don't do that. Try to stay still. Everything's fine."

"Edward." Rosalie was sitting up straight, one hand still on Bella's back but no longer moving. "Are you having an actual conversation with the baby? With _words_?"

Bella gasped. "He can _understand _us? What we're _saying_?"

I shook my head back and forth, not to say no but simply because I was having a hard time believing it myself. "Maybe. A little. He's stopped moving now, hasn't he, love?"

Bella nodded. Her eyes were still wet with tears but she was now too stunned to actually cry.

"Perhaps his mental faculties are even more developed than we thought," I murmured. "He doesn't _want_ to hurt you."

"Of course he doesn't!" Rosalie laughed. "I can't believe it! Bella, this is the smartest kid in the world!"

"Naturally. Look who his daddy is," Bella managed a small smile. "I just hope he didn't understand everything Leah..." her voice broke as she choked on the words and remembered her guilt over Jacob.

"You stop thinking and worrying about those _dogs_, Bella. Right this instant," Rosalie demanded.

_If only it were that easy_, I thought, a tad bitterly. "It's better if you try and stay calm, love," I said instead. I kissed the top of her head tenderly. "I know you're upset. But try."

She did her best to stifle her tears while Rosalie and I tried to distract her by chatting about the baby. I wasn't getting any further words from him now, but he had calmed considerably, especially once Bella was able to force herself under control. Eventually, she fell into an emotionally exhausted and uneasy slumber. While she slept, both Rosalie and I fought to suppress our anger at Leah Clearwater so that we wouldn't upset Bella again. In that moment, my sister and I were for the first time on exactly the same side, working toward exactly the same end. We felt exactly the same.

It was odd, for all that had happened between us over the last few weeks, to feel that kind of solidarity with my sister again. Neither of us acknowledged it, but I knew she felt it, too. And she was as relieved as I was when Bella finally fell asleep and the baby was once again restful inside her.

We watched Bella sleep for a few minutes without speaking, simply following the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Occasionally she would twitch and her brow would furrow with some disturbing thought, but she didn't awaken.

"I could kill that...that..._bitch_," Rosalie eventually hissed, barely audible. "I don't care if she's supposedly helping us. I could rip her limb from limb."

I merely nodded. I was just managing to feel a little calmer myself, and didn't want to let the fury overtake me again. If I thought about it too much, I'd probably take off into the forest and hunt Leah down, truce or no truce. I hadn't seen Bella cry like that since...

I shuddered, not wanting to think about that night. That night after Jacob...one of the worst of my entire existence. Again, I was tempted to blame him for causing her so much misery.

My train of thought was interrupted by Alice. _Edward, it's us, me and Jazz_, she called silently. They were in the forest, nearby. She didn't want us surprised by their approach, thinking the wolves were on their way. After my conversation with Carlisle earlier, we hadn't been expecting them back before tomorrow.

_Carlisle sent us ahead with blood for Bella_, Alice continued, as if answering my unspoken question. _Emmett and Esme stayed with him to help him find more, and some other supplies._

"Alice and Jasper are back," I told Rosalie quietly, careful not to wake Bella. "They've got more O negative."

"Well, that's good," Rosalie exhaled. "We were getting quite low. She's drinking a _lot_ these days."

In another few minutes Alice and Jasper entered through the back door, each laden with two portable coolers containing, I assumed, the blood.

"I wish Carlisle would have called me back before he went looking for more," I said when the couple stepped into the living room, lifting a finger to my lips to indicate they should keep their voices down so Bella wouldn't wake. "I don't think it's going to be necessary."

"Yes, he told us you think the baby should be delivered as soon as possible," Alice set down her coolers and floated over to the couch, bending to have a look at Bella and see how she was. "But he's having second thoughts."

"Why?" Rosalie asked. Having witnessed what she had over the last few hours with respect to the baby's level of development, she was now fully convinced that we could proceed.

"Just being cautious, I think," Jasper said. "He's nervous about having so little real information."

"I think this baby is much further along than we expected," I told them. I didn't miss it when Alice turned her head toward me sharply, smiling at my use of the word "baby" instead of "fetus"...or something worse. Quickly, I brought them both up to speed as to what had been happening during their absence.

While I may have skipped that part of the story to avoid angering anyone else in our family, when I finished describing what was going on with the baby, Rosalie jumped in to tell them about Leah's "visit". I tuned out, knowing my own barely-settled ire would be back in full force if I started to think about _that _incident too much again.

_Jacob._ As Rosalie spoke, I suddenly became aware of his thoughts, in my car, a mile or so away from the house. He was on his way back.

It was just starting to get dark. He'd been gone a long time.

I had a few matters to discuss with him.

"Rose, can you stay with Bella, please?" I asked, carefully getting to my feet. "Jacob's back. I need to speak to him."

"Or _you_ could stay and _I'll_ 'speak' to him," she growled. "I think I may have a few choice words for him about his selection of friends. And I won't hold back the way you will."

"Exactly. That's why I need to talk to him. Despite what Leah did today, we still don't need a war right now."

She huffed but said nothing further, turning her attention to gently stroking Bella's hair as she slept and continuing her discussion with Alice and Jasper.

I went out to the garage and waited for Jacob to pull in.

"A few things, Jacob," I said as soon as he parked the car and cut the engine.

He sat there for a moment, then slowly got out and threw the keys to me.

"Thanks for the loan," he grumbled. "What do you want _now_?"

"Firstly..." I forced my voice to stay even, resisting the urge to tear into him for what Leah had done. It wasn't going to help my request of him if we were at each other's throats. "I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but..."

He blinked, astonished that I would raise that subject with him. "What?"

"If you can't or won't control Leah, then I—"

"Leah?" he interrupted, genuinely confused. "What happened?"

I recognized that if he hadn't yet phased back to wolf form, he wouldn't know. "She came up to see why you'd left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right."

"What did she do?"

"She phased to her human form and—"

"Really?" he interrupted again, shocked this time.

"She wanted to..._speak_ to Bella."

"To _Bella_?"

I was having a hard time controlling my anger as I thought of it, the damage Leah had managed to do in less than a minute of shouting at my wife. "I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her—of course I wouldn't—but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her right across the river—"

"Hold _on_. What did she _say_?" he was still completely confused and astonished.

The blank look on his face reminded me that he hadn't asked Leah to appear and do what she had. I took in a deep breath to calm myself. "Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying—"

"Wait—Leah was yelling at Bella about _me_?"

I nodded once, sharply. "You were quite vehemently championed."

"I didn't ask her to do that," he said flatly.

"I know."

_Of course you do._ He rolled his eyes at me, not helping my efforts to stay calm. _You know everything, don't you?_

I was about to ask him if he wanted me to launch _him_ across the river when he sighed heavily. "I can't promise to control Leah. I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it off her chest today."

"I would say so," I snapped.

"Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me." I could tell that he was genuinely concerned to hear that she'd been upset and felt slightly calmer.

"I already told her that."

"Of course you did. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping now. Rose is with her."

_So the psycho is 'Rose' now? _he thought bitterly, but I chose to ignore that.

"She's...better in some ways," I said, continuing to answer his earlier question. "Aside from Leah's tirade and the resulting guilt."

_Just because you can hear the monster now and everything's all perfect and lovey-dovey again?_

My fingers clenched into fists involuntarily. Even if that were the case, he had absolutely no right to question it. He seemed to find it all too easy to forget that Bella was _my_ wife, not his. "It's a bit more than that," I muttered. "Now that I can make out the child's thoughts, it's apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent."

His jaw dropped. "Are you _serious_?"

"Yes. He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He's trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He..._loves_ her. Already."

Jacob gaped at me in disbelief. _So that's what it is...that thing has convinced you it loves her. That's why you can't hate it any more. Same reason you can't hate me. Only I'm not the one killing her. _

I hadn't really thought of it that way, but I supposed it was true.

I decided not to debate the point with him right now. I would need to think about that some more on my own, another time. "The progress, I believe, is more than we'd judged," I told him instead. It was time to get to my request. The other thing I had known I would have to talk to him about eventually, if things got to that point—as it now seemed they would. "When Carlisle returns—"

"They're not back?" he interrupted, his thoughts going to Sam and Jared, whom he had seen on his drive back to the house, watching the road.

"Alice and Jasper are. Carlisle sent all the blood he was able to acquire, but it wasn't as much as he was hoping for—Bella will use up this supply in another day the way her appetite has grown. Carlisle stayed to try another source. I don't think that's necessary now, but he wants to be covered for any eventuality."

"Why isn't it necessary? If she needs more?" he demanded.

I hesitated. This was the most important part of our discussion. I tried to choose my words carefully. "I'm trying to persuade Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he is back."

"_What?_" he nearly choked on the word, on the idea that everything could unfold much more quickly than he had been expecting.

"The child seems to be attempting to avoid rough movements, but it's difficult. He's become too big. It's madness to wait, when he's clearly developed beyond what Carlisle had guessed. Bella's too fragile to delay."

I could see him struggle to keep breathing. He hadn't been expecting this. He had thought he had another four days. He knew that when the baby was delivered, it would mean the end of Bella's human life.

He was awash with grief, at the thought of her last breath, the last time her cheeks would flush with rosiness. The last time her heart would beat.

With that, I could sympathize.

I waited silently for him to recover himself.

He stared at me for a long moment, assessing the change he thought he saw in my face, what was implied from my words. "You think she's going to make it," he whispered.

"Yes." I nodded, steeling myself for the next part of this conversation. "That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

I gave him another moment to collect his thoughts and then pressed ahead. "Yes. Waiting, as we have been, for the child to be ready, that was insanely dangerous. At any moment it could have been too late. But if we're proactive about this, if we act quickly, I see no reason why it should not go well. Knowing the child's mind is unbelievably helpful. Thankfully, Bella and Rose agree with me. Now that I've convinced them it's safe for the child if we proceed, there's nothing to keep this from working."

"When will Carlisle be back?" he managed to query, still in a whisper while he struggled for breath.

"By noon tomorrow."

_Noon tomorrow!_ Jacob swayed on his feet and clutched at the hood of the car to keep himself up. I reflexively reached out to steady him, but withdrew my hands immediately, knowing that the gesture would hardly be appreciated.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. It was time to sell just a little bit more than was true once again, so that I could get his agreement to yet another difficult request. "I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don't feel the same about you." _Not _all_ of the time, anyway._ "I think of you as a...a brother in many ways. A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella _is_ going to survive," my voice firm was now. I needed to believe that, too. I _did_ believe it. "And I know that's what really matters to you."

He was reeling, still trying to process all of the implications of what I was saying, but some part of him acknowledged that much: even if she were no longer human, he preferred that to her ceasing to exist altogether.

I pressed ahead. "So I hate to do this now, while you're already dealing with too much, but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something—to beg, if I must."

"I don't have anything left," he choked, and I felt his emptiness. Even though any kind of life was preferable to her death, he knew that once she was no longer human, even the faintest chance he had remaining would be gone forever. He was suffering anew with her loss. I knew too well how that felt not to have sympathy.

I lifted my hand to put it on his shoulder, but let it drop away again with a sigh. "I know how much you have given. But this is something you _do_ have, and only you. I'm asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I'm asking this of Ephraim's heir."

He had no idea where I was going with this, and had no voice to ask.

"I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim," I said, deciding to get to the point. "I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I'll do it anyway, but I don't want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don't do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over."

He tried to swallow over the lump in his throat. _Sam. It's Sam you want._

"No. Sam's authority is assumed. It belongs to you. You'll never take it from him, but no one can rightfully agree to what I'm asking except for _you_."

_It's not my decision._

"It is, Jacob, and you know it. Your word on this will condemn us or absolve us. Only you can give this to me."

_I can't think. I don't know._

I glanced toward the house. "We don't have much time."

The mention of time made his heart race. He knew now there was much less time than he had hoped. _I don't know. Let me think. Just give me a minute here, okay? _

"Yes."

He turned toward the door and slowly walked toward the house. I followed, trying to be unobtrusive and leave him to his thoughts.

I heard Seth's mind before either Jacob or I heard the rustle in the brush at the edge of the lawn. _Thank goodness, he's back. What's going on? _ He was in wolf form, and whimpered quietly as he loped over toward us.

"Hey, kid," Jacob muttered. Seth dipped his massive, furry head and Jacob patted his shoulder.

_He looks terrible. Is he okay? What's going on?_ Seth asked again, but I didn't respond.

"S'all cool," Jacob told him as if he had heard the questions in his young friend's mind. "I'll tell you about it later. Sorry to take off on you like that."

Seth's lips curled back from his teeth, but it clearly wasn't a snarl—it was a wolfy grin.

"Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough."

_Yeah, I heard about that._ Seth glanced quickly in my direction. _Sorry about that, man. There was no way I could stop her. She was already here before I realized what she was going to do. _He nodded once in response to Jacob.

Jacob gave the wolf's muscular shoulder a shove. "Get back to work. I'll spell you in a bit."

_Roger, chief!_ Seth thought cheerily, leaning heavily against Jacob's legs before galloping back into the forest. He didn't allow his mind to be clouded by troubled thoughts for long. He seemed to always just assume that everything would turn out for the best.

"He has one of the purest, sincerest, _kindest_ minds I've ever heard," I couldn't help murmuring aloud once Seth had disappeared. "You're lucky to have his thoughts to share."

Jacob grunted, not inclined to express any appreciation for my compliment of his pack mate. "I know that."

We started back toward the house quietly. We must have heard the same thing at the same time, however, as I saw Jacob's head snap up just as mine did at the sound: someone sucking through a straw. Bella was awake.

Without waiting for Jacob, I leapt up the porch steps two at a time and hurried into the house. I was at Bella's side on the couch in less than a second. "Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping." I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left."

"Don't worry." She smiled at me, a genuinely content smile that conspired with the day's events to allow me to think like Seth for a moment, and believe that eventually everything would be okay. She would be back to her old self again soon.

Well, not exactly her old self.

"I just got so thirsty—" she continued, "—it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

"True. That's a good point." I had been concentrating so exclusively on _her_ needs that it hadn't even occurred to me that the extra blood wouldn't go to waste. Obviously, this particular newborn wouldn't be able to breastfeed and would have to get nutrition from somewhere.

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," she mused.

Pablum? A side of raw elk? Grilled cheese sandwiches? I couldn't even imagine what a half-human half-vampire child would like to eat other than blood. Maybe all of the above. "I suppose we'll find out," I murmured, surprised to find that I was rather amused by the thought, and the possibilities.

Alice sighed suddenly with relief. "Finally," she murmured, as Jacob strode in the door. His presence would again mean some respite from her headaches.

Bella's eyes turned toward him and, reflexively, I assumed, she broke into a wide smile.

Just as quickly, her face fell. She was likely remembering Leah's words from earlier. She pressed her lips together, as if fighting back tears.

_Stupid Leah_, Jacob thought as soon as he noticed it. _I could punch her in her stupid mouth._

I couldn't agree more.

Once again, Jacob and I were on the same page when it came to protecting Bella from grief.

"Hey, Bells," he said lightly, trying to assure her with his tone that he was just fine. "How ya doing?"

"I'm fine," she murmured.

"Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff." I was grateful that he tried to sound positive, and I settled on the floor next to the sofa, close to her head.

She frowned slightly. "You don't have to do that, Jacob."

"Don't know what you're talking about," he said, perching on the arm of the sofa near my spot on the floor.

"I'm _so_ s—" she started to say, but he cut her off by pinching her lips together with his thumb and forefinger. I resisted the very strong urge to swat his hand away from her face. She needed his reassurance, and it would be selfish of me to deprive her of it, even if he was providing it in a way I didn't particularly like. I swallowed hard instead.

"Jake," she mumbled, trying to push his hand away from her mouth.

He shook his head at her. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

"Fine, I won't say it," she replied, her voice still mumbled because he continued to hold her lips closed.

As he pulled his hand away, she quickly said, "Sorry!" and grinned.

He merely rolled his eyes and smiled back at her.

We were all quiet for a moment as they looked at each other. I watched his face, seeing only the slightest change in the neutral expression he was struggling to maintain as his mind went back to my request. He loved her. And he hated the idea that she would be changing, changing into something other than the warm, soft human who looked back at him now.

But he also knew there was no other way. She had chosen this path despite his offer of something different. She had chosen it willingly.

The only alternative was her death, and that was no more acceptable to him than it was to me.

He wanted her alive. He wanted her friendship if nothing else was possible. He couldn't give that up, too.

Finally, he sighed.

_Fine!_ he thought, not bothering to shift his gaze to me as he did so. He was giving up the last thing he thought he had to give, and he didn't want to face me while he did it. _Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim's heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right—they can't deny that it's my right to agree to this._

I replied in a whisper so low that only those of us in the room with supernatural hearing could hear it: "Thank you." I saw Rosalie, Alice and Jasper all turn to stare at us, trying to figure out what was going on. The tone in my voice had startled them.

Bella had apparently had enough of the silence. "So..." she said, working to be casual. "How was your day?"

"Great." Jacob struggled for his voice, and struggled even more to keep his tone as casual as hers. "Went for a drive. Hung out in the park."

"Sounds nice."

"Sure, sure," he muttered.

Suddenly Bella looked a little embarrassed, and crinkled her nose. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know what that meant. It had been a pretty regular occurrence lately.

I was already moving out of the way when she asked for Rosalie.

Rosalie chuckled, also knowing what was next. "Again?"

"I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour," Bella explained needlessly.

Rosalie stepped over to the couch to slide an arm under Bella's shoulders, helping to lift her into a sitting position. She was about to take Bella into her arms to carry her to the bathroom, but Bella lifted a hand to stop her. "Can I walk? My legs are so stiff."

"Are you sure?" I asked, frowning at the idea. She was still so weak, and looked so out of balance with her massively swollen abdomen that I was afraid she would actually tip over.

"Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them," she joked.

Carefully, Rosalie set Bella on her feet, but didn't move her hands from Bella's shoulders. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her. Her wince made me wince, but I suppressed the urge to pull her into my protective grasp. Her limbs were probably tingling from lack of use. Even my own felt that way sometimes, if I kept still for too long.

"That feels good," Bella sighed, glancing down at herself. "Ugh, but I'm huge." She made a face, but patted her stomach at the same time. "One more day."

She took half a step forward. "All righty, then. Whoops—oh, no!" Distress passed over her features as she saw the plastic cup she had been drinking from tip over where she had left it on the sofa, spilling the heavy red liquid across the white fabric.

She bent to reach for it, even though Jacob, Rosalie and I had already done the same thing and beaten her there.

Before any of us could actually right it, however, a horrid, wet ripping sound emanated from somewhere inside Bella's body. "Oh!" she gasped, then went limp.

Rosalie and I both reached out to catch her, but Rosalie was closer, and managed to grasp her by the arms before she could hit the floor.

Panic washed over me in a flood, a tidal wave of paralyzing fear. _What was happening? What the hell was that sound?_

"Bella?" my voice sounded strange in my ears, as though it were coming from someone else, somewhere else.

Before I could focus on why that was, the worst sound I had heard in my many decades of existence pierced the air. If my heart hadn't ceased beating so long ago, it surely would have stopped at that sound: Bella's shriek of pure, unmitigated agony.

Her scream when James had broken her leg in the ballet studio had been a light laugh compared to that shriek.

There was no time to react to it, however, because just as suddenly, it died in her throat with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her whole body convulsed, arching as if possessed by a demon.

Then she vomited a violent red fountain of blood.


	19. Chapter 19: Newborn

Bella's body, now dripping with the blood she had vomited, twitched wildly in Rosalie's arms. Since her face was blank—presumably because she'd fallen unconscious—it could only be the baby inside her moving her body that way, causing it to thrash and spasm. Almost in time with each convulsion, sharp snaps and cracks could be heard, as more bones shattered and broke.

The thoughts and feelings coming from the baby were crazed, incoherent, and overwhelming.

He was fighting for his life.

Both Rosalie and I had frozen to the spot at the scene before us, even our vampire minds having trouble catching up with how quickly a routine trip to the bathroom had turned into the horror show unfolding now.

But catch up we did.

We both switched on to autopilot at the same moment. I roughly pushed away any visceral emotional reaction to what was happening to my wife and child and became a machine, a rational automaton focused solely on the goal: saving them both.

Rosalie had Bella in her arms in an instant and was sprinting for the stairs at the same time I was, shouting at her to get Bella to Carlisle's office and onto the examining table. I barked at her to get the morphine and she dashed for Carlisle's medicine chest as she yelled at Alice to get Carlisle on the phone. Whipping around the room in a frenzy, I turned on all of the examination lights, instantly transforming Carlisle's peaceful study into an operating theatre bathed in brilliant white light.

Rosalie tossed me a syringe and threw herself across Bella's body, pinning her and trying to still the thrashing enough that I could get the needle into Bella's arm. As Rosalie pressed her weight onto Bella's, somehow still mindful of not crushing her with her stone body, she tore at Bella's clothes, shredding the sweatshirt with one hand and tossing it to the floor.

"What's _happening_, Edward?" she screeched.

"He's suffocating!"

"The placenta must have detached!"

As Rosalie said it, Bella somehow awoke, eyes snapping open, already shrieking with the same knowledge. "Get him OUT!" she screamed. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

"The morphine—" I tried to tell her, but she shook her head back and forth frantically.

"NO! NOW--!" Another gush of blood from her mouth choked off her words. She struggled to keep her head up so that she could clear her mouth and breathe. Her exposed skin was black and purple with bruises, new ones appearing every second as the baby continued to thrash inside her. The contrast with the whiteness of the rest of her skin under the operating lights was horrific, but there was no time to focus on it. I was vaguely aware that Alice had dashed into the room and clipped the telephone headset to Rosalie's ear before dashing away again.

Somehow Rosalie had got hold of a scalpel, and lifted it over the huge, moving bulge of Bella's abdomen, now becoming a deep red with the blood pooling under the surface of the skin.

"Let the morphine spread!" I shouted.

"There's no time!" she hissed back. "He's dying!" Her hand came down on Bella's stomach, and fresh blood pooled where the scalpel pierced the fragile skin, spilling quickly across and down her distended flesh to the floor. Bella twitched but didn't scream, her mouth still full of the blood from her stomach. I reached for her shoulders and pulled her upright, trying to help her clear her airways enough to breathe.

Fortunately, I tore my eyes from the sight of my wife's blood flowing freely from her body in time to see Rosalie's expression change. Until now unbothered by the scent of the blood Bella drunk from her cup, able to assist me this far in getting Bella up to Carlisle's office and a syringe full of morphine into her arm despite the blood pouring from Bella's mouth, the long weeks without hunting hit Rosalie like a sledgehammer. Beyond her ability to control it, her lips started to pull back from her teeth and her black eyes glinted with her thirst.

"No, Rose!" I shouted, but couldn't get my hands away from under Bella's shoulders quickly enough to stop her from leaning forward, starting to assume a hunting pose.

A flash before my eyes knocked Rosalie to the floor. _Jacob._ I hadn't even noticed that he had followed us upstairs.

They wrestled next to the examination table for what was only a few seconds, but felt like much, much longer. Rosalie stabbed Jacob's left arm with the scalpel as his right palm struck her face, using his grip on her chin to swing her body out so that he could kick her as hard as he could in the gut. She flew back against the door frame, buckling the wood. The side of her head struck the other side of the frame and shattered the telephone earpiece into tiny fragments.

Alice was suddenly there as well, dragging Rosalie by the throat into the hall. "Alice, get her out of here!" I yelled, although Alice was already doing just that. "Take her to Jasper and _keep_ her there!" There was no doubt that after seeing the blood fountain on the main floor, Jasper knew himself well enough to come nowhere near the stairs right now. "Jacob, I need you!" I continued, once I could see that Alice had Rosalie out of the room. Jacob was on his feet, yanking the scalpel out of his arm. "CPR?"

"Yes!" he nodded.

"Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before—" My words were cut off by the loudest crack yet, so loud and violent that both Jacob and I froze in shock, waiting for the inevitable shriek of agony to follow.

There was no shriek. Bella's legs had instead gone limp, sprawling out beneath her like she no longer had control of them.

Because she didn't. "Her spine," I managed to choke, a new sense of horror kicking the existing horror out of the way, paling it by comparison. My limbs seized at the realization of what had just happened to my sweet Bella, my reason for existence. This was it. She was going to die after all. I was numb, unable to move.

I wanted to turn to stone on the spot, hoping for a numbness so thorough I would never think for another moment.

I wanted James. I wanted the Volturi.

I wanted someone to kill me. Immediately.

"Get it _out_ of her!" Jacob shouted, flinging the scalpel at me. "She won't feel anything now!" He bent over her face and started the CPR.

CPR. _She's still alive_, some last remaining rational bit of myself screamed. _Still alive!_ _She needs you. Move!_

The automaton was back, the numbness gone as quickly as it had come.

Scalpel in hand, I cleared my mind. I forced myself to focus on the task at hand. She would _not_ die. It wasn't an option.

Almost as if I were outside myself, I watched as my hand made a long incision through Bella's skin with the scalpel, from under her breasts to below her belly button, slicing deeply through the flesh until I could feel the blade scrape the impossible hardness of the amniotic sac. I didn't allow myself to think about the act itself, what I was doing, marring, damaging her beautiful, soft porcelain skin.

I didn't allow myself to think about what I was doing when I pushed the skin aside, either. Or when I made enough room in the opening to press my face there, to give my teeth enough access to pierce that amniotic sac, unnaturally sharp over unnaturally hard, shredding through with a sound akin to metal machinery tearing through plates of steel.

Bite after bite after bite. Piercing, shredding. Not thinking, just doing. Only vaguely aware of Jacob's presence in the room, still working at the CPR, shouting things at Bella, not listening to what was being said.

I didn't think about it, either, when my hands reached down to widen the opening I had made in her body with my scalpel and my teeth, actual effort required when it came to the amniotic sac itself, so hard it resisted being pushed apart.

I still didn't think about it when my hands dipped inside her abdomen, reaching for the little being there, pulling the small body out, careful not to crush, sensing with my fingertips that the flesh was not quite human soft, but also not quite vampire hard.

I didn't think when I had to bend again to bite through the umbilical cord, finally separating baby from mother.

I didn't think again until the small body was in my arms, wet with blood and amniotic fluid, skin warm to the touch but cool from the air, so different from the warmth of the womb.

There were no cries, but the baby was definitely alive. Two arms, two legs, ten fingers, ten toes. All wiggled in the coolness of the air, stretching, feeling the new environment. Wide, chocolate brown eyes blinked at me against the light. A shock of unruly bronze hair was plastered against her perfect head.

_Her_ head.

A girl.

Our daughter.

"Renesmee," I heard myself whisper, lifting a hand to carefully smooth the wet hair away from her tiny forehead. A moment passed as we gazed at each other. I didn't know how long a moment, or how short.

But it was long enough for me to feel my heart swell with love again, cementing my infant daughter's place in my world the way Bella's had been cemented into my world the moment I realized I loved her, that night in her bedroom what now seemed like so very many months ago.

My reasons for existence had doubled.

"Let me..." I heard Bella's voice, crackling in a choked whisper. "Give her to me." Her arms were extended weakly towards us, past Jacob, who kept his back turned, his gaze fixed on Bella's face.

It didn't occur to me to refuse. After all she had been through to bring this child into the world, I wasn't about to tell her she needed to wait.

And, selfishly, I wanted to share this with her. The first moments of our daughter's life.

Gently, I placed the baby onto Bella's chest, waiting until she lifted her arms to cradle the small form against her before moving my hands out of the way. "Renes...mee. So...beautiful," she croaked, gazing at the child pressed against her. Renesmee looked back at her, still silent, still blinking...then pressed her tiny face against Bella's left breast. Bella gasped in pain and I snatched the baby back into my arms. Fresh blood was pooling from a double-crescent shaped wound, and Renesmee had fresh blood on her lips.

The baby had _bitten_ her. Surely that was a first reaction for the neo-natal medical textbooks.

"No, Renesmee," I murmured, quite astonished. This newborn had teeth? Teeth strong enough to pierce skin?

Of course she did. This was a half-vampire child. _My_ child. I stared down at her, bewildered at the similarities between us, that apparently went beyond the unusually-coloured hair.

Jacob had snapped back into action again, beginning compressions against Bella's chest. _Her heart had stopped beating?_ I thought stupidly, still caught up in the moment with the newborn baby in my arms.

"What are you waiting for?" Jacob growled at me, and I quickly snapped out of my reverie. God! What had gotten into me!?

"Take the baby," I said to him, needing my hands free to do what I needed to do next.

"Throw it out the window," he snapped, not moving from his chest compressions.

A musical voice chimed from the doorway. "Give her to me."

I snarled at the same time Jacob did, both of us thinking we were going to have to waste precious time fighting Rosalie away from the blood again.

"I've got it under control," she promised, gazing at me evenly. _Edward, I swear. You know I wouldn't jeopardize that child's life. _ "Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella..."

I was satisfied. I had to be. There was no time to lose.

Once again, the automaton was back.

Within the blink of a human eye, I passed Renesmee into Rosalie's arms, quickly pulled something from Carlisle's medicine cabinet, and returned to the examination table. "Move your hands, Jacob."

Jacob glanced up at me suspiciously, eyeing the heavy-duty syringe I now held in my hand. "What's that?"

I knocked his hand away from Bella's chest impatiently and stabbed the needle through the spot he had just been compressing, pushing the plunger and sending the syringe's contents directly into her heart. "My venom."

We both heard her heart sputter, like she'd been shocked with a bolt of electricity.

"Keep it moving," I ordered, and Jacob immediately resumed his chest compressions. I could see from the strain in his muscles that it was already becoming more difficult for him to do so. The venom was already coursing through her veins, already changing her.

I was back to acting without thinking as I moved to do what I had resisted doing for so long: I bit my beautiful Bella.

Again and again, I bit her. I bit her throat, her wrists, the inside of her elbows, the soft spots under each side of her collarbone, the back of her neck behind each ear. Each new wound released more of my venom into her body. I caressed each wound with my tongue, sealing the venom inside. _I'm sorry_, I thought with each pass of my tongue against her heated, wrecked flesh. _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..._

Each bite was a little more difficult than the last, my teeth not quite able to slice through her fragile skin as easily as the bite before. It was working. As I had known when I saw that it was becoming more difficult for Jacob to perform the chest compressions, I knew that that meant it was working.

She was changing.

She would survive.

For a while, Jacob worked as I worked, continuing the chest compressions, continuing to blow air into Bella's mouth. Somewhere at the back of my brain it occurred to me that I could tell him he didn't have to try and get air into her lungs anymore—she no longer needed it. Already, she no longer needed it.

I had seen a number of transformations during my time on this earth—Esme's, Rosalie's, Emmett's—I knew it to be true.

_She would survive._

Unfortunately, there was no time to explain it to Jacob.

And he had already given up.

_Dead...she's dead. This is useless. We were too late. Can't save her._

_She must be dead. I don't feel drawn to her any more._

_Away. Just want to get away. Forever._

My lips curled back in a snarl at his thoughts, annoyed at how easily he was giving up on her, after all we had been through.

Annoyed that yet once again, he thought he knew my wife better than I did.

"Go, then," I snapped, knocking his hands away from her body. I took his place with the chest compressions, thinking it might help accelerate the movement of the venom through her body, even though I knew it wasn't strictly necessary.

But I also knew how excruciatingly painful this next part would be for her. Anything, anything at all I could do to try and hurry that through for her was worth trying.

_Pushing her dead heart faster than I had_, Jacob thought randomly as he stared at me, still working over Bella.

"She's not dead," I growled. "She's going to be fine."

He turned on his heel then and left the room, awash with pain. I tuned him out completely.

He was wrong.

*~*~*~*

"Edward?" a soft, musical voice said from somewhere behind me. It was the first time I had noticed a sound other than the sound of Bella's heart beating for...minutes? hours? days?

I looked up when a small hand fell over mine, still clutching Bella's as I stood next to the examination table on which she lay, now motionless. Alice squeezed my fingers. "How's it going?" she asked quietly.

"It's hard to tell. She's not moving, but I don't know if that's because the morphine has worked well enough to mask the pain, or if..." I let my voice trail off, unwilling to voice the thought, the possibility that something was wrong.

"I'm sure she's fine, Edward. I can hear her heart beating. You know that that's all that matters." _You have to try not to be so negative all the time, Edward. Stop assuming that everything is sure to be a disaster. _

I smiled humourlessly. I supposed she was right that I did have a tendency to be...morose.

"The waiting now is going to be the hardest part—for me, anyway. I know that what she's going through is much worse." I sighed. "I just hope that the morphine is helping..."

Alice gave my hand another squeeze and smiled. "The baby is beautiful, Edward. Just so beautiful."

I glanced down at her with a frown, immediately feeling guilty that I hadn't given Renesmee a thought since handing her over to Rosalie. I had been so preoccupied with what I was doing, continuing the chest compressions, then sitting down to begin the long, long wait. "Where is she?"

"Downstairs with Rose. Rose won't let any of the rest of us hold her. We're lucky she's even letting us close enough to look. With Jacob, she just about..." she let her voice trail off and suddenly started thinking about the Cyrillic alphabet.

My eyes narrowed. More problems? What in the world was going on now? It was so obvious when she was hiding something. I chose my next question carefully. "Jacob Black is still here?" Given the last of his thoughts I had heard before I sent him from the room, I had assumed he'd be long gone by now.

"Yes, he's here..." she replied slowly.

"Has he tried to hurt Renesmee?" I was suddenly anxious. If he thought Bella had died, he would automatically blame it on both the baby and me. I wouldn't put it past him to try and exact some kind of revenge. I had asked him to kill me in that situation, so anything he might plot against me didn't bother me. But if he hurt the baby...truce or no truce, I'd rip him limb from limb. As slowly and as painfully as possible.

"No, no, not at all." Alice shook her head. "Quite the opposite, in fact. Rosalie won't let him near her, so he's just been sitting in a chair across from them, staring at her with a weird expression on his face. I'm not really sure what's going on with that."

More of the Cyrillic alphabet. She suspected something, but wasn't about to share it with me.

I'd deal with it later. I couldn't handle anything more at this point.

"I suppose I should call Carlisle," I said, changing the subject. "Not that there's anything more he can do at this point, but I should let him know where things stand."

"Jasper spoke to him already, after the headset got smashed and Rosalie's call was disconnected. Jazz didn't want them to worry there was a war going on here."

"What did he say?"

"They were too far away to make in back in time to help, but they're coming. He managed to get hold of the rest of the supplies he wanted. He's hoping they'll be earlier than noon." Again she squeezed my hand. "He told Jasper that it sounded like you'd done everything that could be done."

I wasn't so sure.

I looked down at Bella, laying relatively still and quiet apart from her heartbeat and the occasional rasp of air. She wasn't dead, but her body could only be described as...mutilated. The blood had stopped flowing, but the bruises and gashes were still horrifically obvious—especially the gaping wound in her abdomen.

Suddenly, I felt as though I had been punched in the solar plexus. I had been so absorbed in getting the venom into her, I hadn't really _looked_ at the state of her broken body. Her clothes were shredded, leaving her bare and exposed. Her blood and the blood she had been drinking was spilled everywhere.

It looked like a murder scene.

It _was_ a murder scene.

I must have gasped or moved in some way, because Alice's tiny, strong hands were suddenly around my waist, holding me up. She knew what I was thinking.

"Edward...will you let me help you clean Bella up?" she asked gently. "We need to cover her, and there's no reason to leave the room this way."

I nodded and she glided out of the room to get the supplies we would need. Gently, I stroked Bella's hair with the fingertips of my free hand, the one that wasn't still clutching hers. The chestnut tresses were caked with blood and sweat. Her skin was already starting to cool—not quite as cool as my own, but cooler than was normal for her.

_Had been_ normal for her. Soon there would be a new normal...as long as she came out of this okay.

Everything had happened so fast, so frenetically that I hadn't yet taken a moment to mourn the loss of my human wife, my soft, warm, fragile Bella. I felt the loss now as a sharp pain in my dead heart, an uncomfortable prickling in my eyes. I had done this to her. I had killed her. Even if she survived as a vampire...I had killed her.

I had always known it would be hard to be the one responsible for that, but now I wondered how I would continue to exist with such a burden, a burden that would always be mine. Every single thing that she was – I had taken away.

Alice returned with soaps, shampoo, a tub of warm water and an armful of clothes. She set them down next to me quietly and left the room again, presumably to get the rest of whatever she thought we would need.

I let go of Bella's hand and reached for a washcloth, soaking it in the warm water and then wringing it out before lifting her hand again to gently scrub the blood from her skin.

I mourned as I washed her changing body, saying goodbye to each human part of it with each pass of the washcloth.

Her fingertips, always so warm against my cold marble ones. _Goodbye._

Her arms, fragile and weak but so strongly comforting when she wrapped them around me. _Goodbye._

Her lips, soft and yielding against mine. _Goodbye._

Her cheeks, so often flushed with crimson when she was embarrassed, or angry, or aroused. _Goodbye._

Her forehead, prone to crinkle slightly when she frowned or concentrated. _Goodbye._

Her neck, with its busy arteries just under the surface, pumping her sweet ambrosial blood under my lips when I pressed them there to kiss her. _Goodbye._

Alice said nothing when she returned to the room for the second time with another pail of water and set about washing the blood from the floor and the furniture, leaving me to the task of cleaning Bella's body, washing away the last of her humanity and preparing her for her new life as one of us.

She knew as only she could that I needed to do this part myself.

*~*~*~*

It was still dark, the middle of the night, when there was another set of footfalls on the stairs to the second floor. Alice had left me alone some time ago once the task of cleaning was finished, taking the throw rug from the floor with her to burn it, the deep blood stains obviously impossible to remove. Jasper had popped in to check on me once, but had said little. He had tried to impart a sense of comfort over me but the task had proven too difficult, even for him.

I was beyond comfort. I would remain beyond comfort until Bella opened her eyes again and told me she forgave me for doing this to her.

"Edward?" It was Rosalie.

"Rose," I replied, without looking up from Bella's face. Her features were neutral but didn't exactly seem peaceful. Washing her had made a considerable improvement, however. Whereas before she had looked..._dead_, the victim of some horrific, violent homicide, now she looked as though she were merely sleeping.

"I thought you might like to visit with your daughter," she said, stepping to my side. From my peripheral vision, I could see that she held a white blanketed bundle in her arms. "I would have brought her sooner, but I didn't want her to see...the way it looked in here before...and then she was sleeping. But now she's awake again, and she's asking for you."

_Asking_ for me? I turned my head to look up at Rosalie, opening my mouth to ask what in the world she meant.

_See for yourself_, she replied silently, and carefully placed the white bundle in my arms.

Renesmee, too, had been washed, her fair and perfect skin now clear of the blood and fluid that had previously stained her chubby cheeks. They were faintly rosy, a shade or two lighter than the red of her cupid's bow lips. Her bronze hair, now clean, was no longer matted against her skull, but instead curled softly around her face. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide and curious as she stared back at me.

Rosalie crouched next to the chair I had pulled to Bella's bedside so that she was on the same level as Renesmee. "Isn't she gorgeous?" she whispered, reverently reaching out a finger to stroke the infant's smooth forehead.

It was true. She was beautiful. Stunningly, perfectly beautiful. Her features reminded me of Bella's, but I could see my own there, too, in addition to the hair colour—an almost even blend of the best of both of us, taken and somehow improved even further.

_Our baby._ Bella's and mine. Here, after so much heartache, and so...perfect.

Not a demon at all. Not a killer. Not a monster.

Somehow, we had created this angelic-faced being.

A tiny hand pulled free of the blanket and swung around, reaching toward my face.

"She knows you," Rosalie said. "Bend down so she can touch your cheek. You'll see what I mean."

I was too overcome with the sight of the child in my arms to search Rosalie's mind for an explanation, or to do anything other than what she suggested. "Hello, baby, my little love," I murmured softly, and leaned my face toward Renesmee's. When I was close enough, her little hand pressed flat against my right cheek.

Images flooded my mind, of my face, anxious but reverent, looking down at her...of Bella, features streaked with blood and sweat but smiling...of Rosalie, carefully, gently washing her little body clean in a baby tub perched on the kitchen counter, then holding a bottle for her to drink her first meal...of Alice and Jasper bent over her, cooing at her in silly baby voices...of Jacob Black, watching her from a few feet away, his expression...worshipful?

"She's _remembering_ these things?" I whispered in disbelief. "A newborn baby that's...six hours old?" Even I knew enough about babies to know that one so young shouldn't have that kind of awareness yet.

"About nine hours now, actually. And yes." Rosalie grinned. "Isn't that incredible? If she touches you, she can tell you what she's thinking. It's like the opposite of what you can do. Although I assume you probably don't even need for her to touch you for you to be able to read her thoughts."

I hadn't actually tried. It hadn't occurred to me to try. Would her mind be silent to me the way Bella's was? I pulled away from Renesmee's hand on my cheek and cast my mind out to hers. There she was—not silent. But rather than words, I picked up sensations and feelings, the way I had when she was still in the womb.

I couldn't help chuckling.

"What? What's she thinking?" Rosalie demanded.

"She's annoyed that I pulled away. She wasn't done telling me everything she'd seen the last few hours."

Rosalie laughed lightly. "It's been handy, let me tell you. I've known exactly when she was hungry, and full, and cold, and too warm, and tired...human parents would kill for that kind of insight, I'm sure." She touched the tip of Renesmee's nose lightly with the pad of her index finger. "The thing is, Renesmee, you'll find that Daddy knows what you're thinking without you having to touch him. He's special, like you are."

_Daddy?_

I gasped. A word this time. _That_ word—as she pictured my face. She knew who I was!

I was someone's father. Her biological father.

My dead heart swelled again, so much this time that I almost felt as though it would start beating, after decades of stillness. I had never expected to be anyone's father. I had never even dared to dream of it. It was just one of the many things I had lost with the end of my mortal life.

But now, for the first time in the ninety years I had been a vampire, I suddenly felt—_human_.

I was acutely overwhelmed, but also saddened by the realization that I couldn't share this moment of profound revelation with Renesmee's mother.

Almost as if reading my thoughts this time, Renesmee pictured Bella's face, again blood and sweat-streaked, as it had been the last time Renesmee had seen her. _Mommy?_

"Yes, Mommy," I chuckled again, amazed. She had picked up _that_ word in the womb.

Not wanting Renesmee's only image of her mother to be that bloody, pain-wracked mask of physical anguish, I carefully stood so that I could place Renesmee close to Bella's face. "This is Mommy, Renesmee."

Renesmee gazed at Bella, remembering Bella holding her briefly in her arms. She wanted Bella to hold her again. "She's...sleeping, baby. She'll be with you soon."

The tiny child caught sight of the double-crescent shaped wound above Bella's left breast—the silky gown Alice had decided to dress Bella in was cut low enough that it was clearly visible. Renesmee remembered biting Bella there, and that I had told her not to do that.

"That's right. No biting," I murmured.

Rosalie looked over at the mark on Bella's chest. "Did Renesmee do that? Bite Bella?"

"Yes. Has she tried to bite you?"

"She bit my finger. It hurt, too. I think I even squealed out loud at it, so she hasn't done it again." Rosalie grinned. "She learns fast."

"Apparently." I sat back down in the chair and felt Renesmee squirm to snuggle closer to my chest. It reminded me of Bella all the nights I stayed with her while she slept, always trying to worm her way closer to me, even in her slumber. I gave her a gentle squeeze in return.

"Um...hello?" a male voice said from the doorway. Jacob. Neither Rosalie nor I had been paying attention and hadn't noticed him approach. The corner of her lip curled up in a sneer.

"Did someone call you, _dog_?" she snarled. "I'm pretty sure I didn't hear a single person say, 'Fido'."

He ignored her and spoke to me. "Is everything okay, Edward?"

I fought the urge to say something sarcastic, to punish him for having given up on Bella earlier. He was genuinely concerned, wanting to hear from me how I thought she was doing. The assurances he'd received from Alice and Jasper weren't enough—he wanted to see it on my face.

Besides, he had helped me when no one could. Without him, there was little doubt the outcome would not have been as positive.

And there was something else. Even greater than his concern for Bella was his concern for...Renesmee. He had spoken to me, but his eyes were fixed on the bundle in my arms, desperate for a glimpse of her face. He was saturated with some kind of emotion, and it certainly wasn't the hatred he had felt before she was born. Even he was confused by it, but he was overwhelmed by the need to ensure her safety, her comfort, her happiness. He hadn't been able to bring himself to leave the house since her birth, and it wasn't because of his concern for Bella.

He was _drawn_ to her—not to Bella now, but to Renesmee.

The comprehension washing over my face must have been crystal clear, because Jacob raised his hands, palms facing me in a gesture of surrender, before I even opened my mouth.

"Edward...you know I can't control it," he started to say, his eyes widening. "You know I didn't choose this. It just happens. It was...as soon as I looked at her, it was..." He let his voice trail off feebly.

I was speechless.

I was so astonished, so furious, I was speechless.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she looked between my face and his. "Edward? What the heck is going on?" She had already rotated her body so that she was between me and the baby and Jacob, ready to react instantly if there was a threat of any kind to Renesmee.

I opened my mouth to reply but still couldn't find any words.

_Come _on_, Edward. Do you think I wanted this? Don't you know that I know how twisted this is? You _know_ that—you're the mind reader, read mine! _Jacob said silently, for once contrite, pleading instead of aggressive and hostile.

Fighting to suppress my rage enough that I could actually think, I searched his mind, at the same time clutching my infant daughter even more closely to my chest, reacting instinctively to protect her.

But she didn't need protecting—at least not from him.

He loved her. A pure, all-encompassing, instinctual love, as beyond his ability to control it as it was beyond his ability to simply choose to cease breathing. He hadn't planned it, and he didn't really want it. He knew it was..._awkward_, to say the least.

But all he wanted for this newborn child was her safety, her happiness...the best of everything the world could offer her. He would protect her with his life. Forever. Until he ceased to exist, she would be the center of his universe, no one else on earth as important.

I didn't like it—no, I _loathed_ it—but it was hard to quarrel with. It was too powerful, and too pure. Banishing him from her life would be like banishing her guardian angel.

I ground my teeth together in frustration. I would never be rid of this particular werewolf, it seemed.

"Edward?" It was Rosalie again, still poised to spring at Jacob if I gave her the least little bit of a sign. She was glaring at him with her eyes narrowed, loathing pouring off her in waves.

He was still ignoring her, staring at me and at the precious bundle in my arms.

I swallowed heavily. "It's okay, Rose. He's not going to hurt her. In fact, he's the _last_ person that would ever hurt her."

She glanced at me with a frown. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we have nothing to worry about where Renesmee and Jacob Black are concerned. He's imprinted on her."

"WHAT?" she shrieked, launching herself at him at the same time. "On MY niece? Over my dismembered body, you filthy, disgusting canine! I'll kill you first!" She struck his chest with a crash, both of them falling to the floor in the hallway just outside the study. He held her arm to keep her from reaching his throat, otherwise seeming to do little to fight her off. He had been expecting a reaction like this, but had assumed it would be from me. He was prepared to take it.

I sighed, not inclined to interfere. Maybe I would get lucky and they'd actually kill each other.

Renesmee, however, had other ideas. She was craning her neck, trying to see around me and the blanket that covered her, trying to figure out what had happened, where Rosalie had gone so quickly, and what all the noise was from the hallway. Her little brow creased with concern. Images of Rosalie's face and of Jacob's passed through her mind. She didn't _want_ them to kill each other.

I sighed again. I could tell where this was going. Pretty soon there would be _two_ women who had me wrapped around their little fingers.

I was going to have to get a male cat or something for a pet in order to balance out the household.

Still holding Renesmee, I stood up and walked to the doorway. It had only been a few seconds, but already the wrestling match between Rosalie and Jacob had taken them down the hall, limbs flailing in a blur interspersed with flashes of long, blonde hair. Hearing the commotion, Alice and Jasper had just arrived at the top of the stairs, and were wondering whether or not to intervene.

Rosalie's right cross suddenly connected with Jacob's jaw, sending him off her body and into a small table on which Esme had a ceramic vase of fresh flowers. The table splintered easily and the vase crashed to the floor, shattering loudly into pieces and sending each flower flying a different direction. The noise scared Renesmee, and she started to cry.

Both Rosalie and Jacob froze, looking up from their respective positions on the floor. Jacob's back was against the wall, legs splayed out in front of him. A trickle of blood was flowing from his nose, another from the corner of his mouth. Rosalie was a few feet away on her stomach, in the process of pulling herself up onto her elbows so she could get at him again. Her carefully arranged hair was loose and messy around her shoulders. Her blouse had come untucked from her jeans, and she had somehow lost a shoe.

But they were both frozen in shock because it was the first time Renesmee had cried since she'd been born.

"You idiots, now look what you've done!" Alice scolded, flitting to my side to bend over Renesmee. "It's okay, sweetheart," she crooned, catching Renesmee's tiny fist. "They're okay. Don't you worry." She looked up at Rosalie and Jacob, scowling at each in turn. "What in the world has gotten into you two _now_?"

Rosalie pulled herself to her feet, hurriedly straightening her blouse and tucking it back into her waistband. "This _dog_..." she muttered, still furious but trying to keep her voice under control for Renesmee's sake, "...you aren't going to believe what he's done..." She strode over to my side and reached for Renesmee, elbowing Alice out of the way.

"Rosalie, you need to get yourself under control before you hold Renesmee again," I snapped, rocking the tiny baby against my chest. "As for _you_, Jacob Black," I continued, "I know you didn't intend this, but I don't know how I feel about it right now. I'll have to discuss it with Bella once she awakens."

Although he nodded quietly, I could see him cringe. He had a pretty good sense of what Bella's reaction to this situation was going to be.

Bella.

I needed to get back to her side. I wouldn't let her go through a moment of this without me.

Now that the fighting was over, Renesmee's cries were already subsiding. She sniffled and I reached up with my index finger to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She had tears, real tears!

She was nothing short of a miracle.

"Alice?" I moved to transfer the bundle in my arms to hers. "Do you mind? I want to get back to Bella."

Alice grinned and reached eagerly for Renesmee. "Of course, Edward. I'll take her back downstairs."

Rosalie scowled. "But Edward, _I_..."

"Just go clean yourself up, Rose," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. I was grateful that I wasn't prone to headaches, because I would certainly have a whopper of one by now. "And straighten out this hallway before Esme gets back."

Jacob had pulled himself to his feet, too, rubbing his jaw with one hand. It had almost certainly broken when Rosalie punched him, but it was no doubt setting on its own by now. I had nothing further to say to him at the moment, and he was thankful for it. I hadn't thrown him out of the house—yet.

With a soft kiss on Renesmee's forehead, I turned on my heel and went back into the study, closing the door behind me.


	20. Chapter 20: Burning

**A/N: Sorry for the big "psyche!" with the re-posting of Chapter 19. I noticed a formatting error, and the only way I could figure out to fix it was to delete the chapter and re-post it.**

*~*~*~*

The sun had just barely risen in the sky when there was a soft but unnecessary knock at the door. I knew it was Carlisle.

_Edward? May I come in?_

_God, please, yes!_ "Of course, Carlisle." The relief I felt was almost palpable. Finally he was here and could hopefully give me the reassurance I was now desperate for. In however many hours it had been while I sat here helpless at Bella's side, she hadn't so much as flinched. Her absolute stillness filled me with dread.

"How is it going?" my adoptive father asked quietly as he glided over to the side of the bed.

I squeezed Bella's unmoving hand reflexively. "I don't know, Carlisle. She hasn't moved at all. With all of the others, they made noise, they..."

"They writhed in agony?" he filled in ruefully. He stood still for a moment, listening. "Her heartbeat sounds good, Edward. She's alive." He leaned down and gently lifted one of her eyelids, trying to see if he could determine anything from the state of her pupils. "It looks to me like she's fine. As fine as she can be in the circumstances, of course."

"Then why is she so _still_?"

"That was the whole point of trying the morphine, remember? On the chance that it would lessen the pain for her? The others didn't have it, so we have nothing to compare this to. But as long as her heartbeat is strong, I don't think there's anything to worry about." He rested a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

We were both silent for a moment, simply watching Bella's face. She was so still it was eerie, but Carlisle was right about her heartbeat: it was as vital as ever.

"Did you have a look at Renesmee?" I asked.

"A quick one. She looks as healthy as a proverbial horse, so I wanted to get up here as quickly as I could. I'll go back downstairs and conduct a full examination of her in a few minutes. Assuming I can pry her out of Rosalie's arms, that is," he chuckled. He gave my shoulder another squeeze, this one from one proud father to another. "She's beautiful, Edward. Perfect. I can't believe how much she looks like both of you already."

"I know." I couldn't keep the smile from my face, despite the condition my child's mother was in at the moment. "I hope Rose will let Esme hold her."

"Esme was negotiating that when I came up here. I don't think she's past claiming priority by playing the grandmother card."

"I guess that means you have a grandfather card as well," I glanced up at him with a small smirk. The idea of Carlisle—who could barely pass for 30—as a grandfather was somewhat amusing. At the same time, however, his calm demeanour and obvious wisdom made him perfect for the role.

"I suppose I do," he chuckled again, equally amused at the thought. He frowned slightly then, thinking of the wolves and of Jacob Black—who was apparently still parked in the living room downstairs. "I'm surprised Jacob is still here."

"Didn't anyone tell you?" I asked with a sigh. "He helped me with Bella...and everything...but then he..._imprinted_ on Renesmee."

Carlisle's eyes widened like saucers. No, no one had yet shared that bit of news with him. "Pardon me?"

"You heard me correctly."

"But she's just an infant..."

"Apparently it can happen that way. One of his friends is in a similar situation...he imprinted on a two-year-old." I had plucked that bit of information out of Jacob's head some time ago, noting how bizarre he felt it was. But other than that, I hadn't thought much of it at the time. It had certainly never occurred to me that the same thing might happen with _my_ child, when he hated vampires so much.

Carlisle shook his head back and forth slowly, thinking that over. "I suppose it makes sense, in a way. It's involuntary, as I understand it, and happens on first sight."

"He's not necessarily happy about it, either. He knows that it's rather...awkward."

"You're taking it well."

I huffed. "I have other things on my mind at the moment. I'm choosing not to think very hard about it right now, or I might want to leave this room and tear his head off. And I really don't want to leave Bella alone while she goes through this." When my mind had travelled in that direction, I had been suppressing the urge for violence by forcing myself to remember that he couldn't control it, and how pure his thoughts had been.

"Has he left the house at all? Do the wolves know the baby has been born?"

I paused for a few seconds, casting my mind downstairs to Jacob's. I actually hadn't even thought about that until now. "No...he hasn't changed back to wolf form since he's been here."

"Seth and Leah are probably wondering what's happened to him."

I could feel my brow crease in a frown. "That hasn't occurred to him. He's been focused on nothing but Renesmee."

"I'll ask him to check in with them when I go back downstairs. It's not good to leave them wondering, and I want to know what the other pack is doing." He was thoughtful for a moment. "I wonder what they'll make of this situation. As I understand it, this makes Renesmee..._family_ for them now."

I shuddered at the idea of my daughter as part of a wolf pack, and again forced down the beginnings of a profound rage. "I thought the whole point of imprinting was that a wolf finds his ideal genetic mate, who can produce with him the best wolf offspring." Another involuntary shudder passed through me at the idea of my daughter _mating_...with _anyone_. I was starting to have a new appreciation for how Charlie had felt about me all those months. I had to admire now the fact that he had never actually unholstered his gun. "I just can't imagine how a half-human, half-vampire child fits that bill."

"Neither can I, at the moment. It's one of the many puzzles we'll have to solve where she's concerned."

I didn't like the way he said that, and looked at him with some alarm. "Puzzles? Do you think something's wrong?"

"Oh, no, not at all, Edward," he assured me quickly. "But it's not as though she's quote-unquote 'normal', either. She's not even a day old and she understands us, for example. I don't know why or how that is, or what it means. But I suspect that every day with her is going to yield a whole new set of surprises." He smiled. "Hopefully they'll all be good surprises. So far they have been."

As if on cue, Renesmee made an appearance, still wrapped in her white blanket but this time cradled in the arms of her grandmother. Rosalie trailed along behind, Emmett at her side.

"I heard you say you wanted to do an examination, darling," Esme explained. "She's awake, so I thought I'd bring her up here where your equipment is." As Esme approached my chair at Bella's bedside, Renesmee lifted her head to peer around her blanket, her chocolate brown eyes wide, observing. _Daddy. Mommy._

I couldn't suppress a smile. Would I ever get used to that? It occurred to me that it was a good thing I got to listen to her think the word for a while before she would ever say it out loud. The first time she did _that_ my heart was likely to shatter into pieces from the sheer joy of it.

Esme thoughtfully passed Renesmee into my arms, knowing that I hadn't seen her for a few hours. She beamed at me and kissed the top of my head. "Edward. She's so perfect. She looks just like you. Both of you."

I nodded and carefully edged the blanket away from my daughter's face. I ducked to press my cool lips to her warm forehead. She was quite warm, even warmer than Bella was..._had been_. In fact, she seemed closer in body temperature to the temperature the wolves usually ran.

Ugh. I really didn't want to think about that.

Although it wasn't strictly necessary, Renesmee pressed a warm palm to my cheek, showing me that Alice had fed her another bottle but that Rosalie had then taken over holding her until Esme and Carlisle appeared. She wasn't exactly sure yet how all the faces she'd seen related to her and to each other yet, other than that she seemed to understand Bella was her Mommy and I was her Daddy, and the others were somehow connected to us—which was good enough for her at the moment. The other face she knew—that of Jacob Black—seemed separate to her somehow, but she had accepted his presence. She showed me that he had left the house just as Esme was bringing her upstairs.

"Where did Jacob go?" I asked, glancing up at Esme.

Esme stroked Renesmee's soft cheek with the back of her index finger. "To check in with his pack. We heard you and Carlisle discussing it, and he seemed to realize it was something he'd better do."

I nodded. Well, that was good at least. If Leah Clearwater even dreamed about coming back here to find him, I wasn't sure what I would do with her—never mind what Rosalie might do.

Rosalie was behind my left shoulder, gazing down at Renesmee and shifting her weight from foot to foot, forcing herself not to snatch my daughter out of my arms. Somehow I found that amusing, and I empathized with her need to have the small, warm body clutched against her. She well knew that the baby wasn't hers to keep, and was genuinely trying not to encroach on parental boundaries.

Emmett reached around her and clapped a big hand down on my shoulder. "Congrats, man. She's a beauty."

"Thanks, Uncle Emmett," I murmured. Renesmee had turned her eyes up to his when he spoke. She liked his face very much.

"How's my newest sister? She sure _looks_ good." He peered at Bella, still motionless on the small bed.

"Alice helped me clean up. It was...a bit gruesome in here before." I pushed the memory of the gory, bloody scene out of my mind. No need to go _there_ at the moment.

"Looks like Alice chose Bella's attire, too. I can't imagine you putting her in something like that, at least not right now." Esme took in the silky, form-fitting cocktail dress that hugged each of Bella's soft curves. It was rather incongruous for the situation, and reminded me of one of those old vampire movies where the leading lady reclined on some kind of couch dressed to the nines, waiting to be taken by the evil cinematic vampire. Talk about ironic.

"She appears to be doing very well, in my opinion," Carlisle said, answering Emmett's original question for me. "It's unusual that she's so still and quiet, but I think that's the morphine."

Emmett sniffed the air. "Is that what that smell is? The morphine in her?"

"Yes."

"So we're having a family gathering and no one invited us?" Alice's voice rang from the doorway as she glided into the room, Jasper just behind her.

I glanced around from face to face. Carlisle...Esme...Rosalie...Emmett...Jasper...Alice...Bella...Renesmee. The entire Cullen family, all together in one room for the first time. Carlisle had one of Bella's wrists in his hand, measuring her pulse as he spoke quietly to Esme. Emmett had an arm slung around Rosalie's shoulders, and was asking Jasper for his views on whether a half-human girl would be any good at vampire baseball. Alice had called dibs on the next feeding, and Rosalie was protesting, pointing out that Alice had had the _last_ feeding, and it was definitely her turn. Renesmee silently cast her observant eyes over the gathering, understanding somehow that all of these people were _hers_.

She quite liked the idea.

So did I.

I kissed her forehead again and looked up at my Bella's beautiful sleeping face. _Get through this and wake up, my only love_, I willed her silently. _Join us. I can't wait for you to join us._

*~*~*~*

The hours passed slowly, agonizingly slowly as I waited...and waited. My various family members filtered in and out of the room at different times, offering to take over the watch so I could stretch my legs, or hunt, or do anything else to have a little break from my vigil. I thanked them and refused, my attention diverted only when Renesmee was brought to me for a visit. To my surprise, Rosalie had even yielded a turn with the bottle to bring both baby and warmed blood to me to provide, thoughtfully realizing that this was something I needed to do. I had the most comfort in the moments when Renesmee was in my arms and we gazed at each other quietly, while she either absorbed what she saw in the room around her, or silently told me about her day.

Otherwise, I simply waited. And hoped that Bella wasn't suffering too much.

Whenever Carlisle appeared, he would perform a quick examination and was always satisfied with what he saw. He found no reason to think everything wasn't proceeding with Bella as it should, but her persistent stillness unnerved me. I knew she was alive—her strong heartbeat was abundant evidence of that—but the fact that she never _moved_...I couldn't help fearing the worst. The fear tore at my heart, no matter how much I tried to tell myself I was being paranoid for no reason.

I was sitting in my usual chair, holding Bella's hand and fretting when Carlisle drifted into the room for another check-up. He took her other hand and carefully pressed his fingers to her wrist to measure her pulse yet again.

"Still no change?" I asked him, hoping he could tell me something, _anything_ that would indicate some kind of progress.

"None." He shook his head.

"There's no scent of the morphine left," I told him, although it would be obvious to him, too.

"I know."

Off and on as I sat with her, I murmured quietly to Bella, telling her little things about what was going on as she lay there, telling her about our daughter, telling her how much I loved her. Carlisle's presence provoked me to speak to her again, hoping somehow that with him in the room, her silence might break and she might find the ability to answer me. "Bella? Can you hear me?" I asked, a tad desperately. "Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" I squeezed her fingers gently but got no reaction.

I sighed and sat back in my chair. Looking up at Carlisle's calm visage, I couldn't help voicing my fear. "Maybe...Carlisle, maybe I was too late."

He shook his head. "Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so _vital_. She'll be perfect."

I wasn't sure I was convinced. Maybe something about one of her specific injuries during the birth had been the difference. Her spine had been broken by one of Renesmee's last kicks. Had that actually paralyzed her? Is that why she wasn't moving? "And her—her spine?" I asked, wondering at the fact that I hadn't voiced the question before now.

Again, he shook his head. "Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her as it did Esme."

For some reason, Carlisle's presence was raising more questions in my mind rather than alleviating my concern. "But she's so still. I _must_ have done something wrong."

"Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more." He put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine."

It troubled me that we could no longer smell the morphine, yet she remained motionless. "She must be in agony," I whispered.

"We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience."

I understood rationally that that was the case, but it was so hard to internalize it, sitting here hour after hour with no change. I squeezed her hand for the thousandth time and pressed my lips to the part of her which rested closest to me, the inside of her elbow. "Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry," I murmured, also for the thousandth time.

Both Carlisle and I heard the front door open downstairs. Alice was letting Jacob Black back inside the house. He'd been gone for quite some time now. _I wonder if he has news?_ Carlisle thought. We heard Rosalie sputter a few curses at Jacob when he asked about Renesmee. They hadn't attacked each other again yet, but I wondered if now would be the time. Carlisle wondered the same thing, and whether I should go broker a peace between them.

"No, I'm staying right here," I answered him quietly. "They'll sort it out."

"An interesting situation," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "And I'd thought I'd seen just about everything."

"I'll deal with it later. _We'll_ deal with it," I muttered, squeezing Bella's hand yet again. He was her friend, and it was our daughter. I wasn't about to do anything about any of it without her input.

"I'm sure, between the five of us, we can keep it from turning into bloodshed," Carlisle nodded his head toward the door. Although Jacob seemed to be keeping his cool, Rosalie's voice had risen an octave as she threatened him to stay away from Renesmee.

I sighed. "I don't know which side to take. I'd love to flog them both. Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think—whose side she'll take," Carlisle mused.

I chuckled humourlessly. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does." It seemed logical to me that she would be rather upset about the..._situation_ with her would-be suitor and her infant daughter, but I had certainly been wrong about the kinds of things that would upset her in the past.

_I'll go see what Jacob can tell us about the wolves_, Carlisle thought, giving my shoulder a last comforting pat. _It may distract Rosalie from ripping his throat out...at least for the moment._

I nodded, and he quietly left the room.

I didn't move from my post at Bella's side, but could hear Carlisle greet Jacob and Jacob's reply. While Jacob's voice was cautious, reflecting the sheepishness he felt about the odd situation he now found himself in, he was glad to see Carlisle. He had always liked Carlisle better than any of the rest of us.

"Jacob, have you seen the pack? _Both_ packs, I suppose? Is there any news?" Carlisle asked him.

"That's where I've been all this time," Jacob told him. "First I went to see Seth and Leah...then the three of us went to find Sam. It was a bit nerve-wracking to face Sam and the rest when we're outnumbered, but Seth and Leah agreed we had to do it."

"You should have told us, Jacob. Some of us could have gone with you to ensure your safety," Carlisle said.

"Thanks, but that would have made it worse," Jacob replied, picturing in his mind Sam's reaction if he had shown up not only with his rogue pack but also with a few hated vampires in tow. "Anyway, I...uh...told them what happened...that Renesmee was born, that Edward had...uh..._changed_ Bella," he hesitated on the word, thinking 'bit' or 'killed' more accurately reflected what I had done, but he didn't want to offend Carlisle. "And I told them about what happened with me...with Renesmee." He said the last part quietly, feeling especially awkward.

"And?" Alice prompted, not as patient as Carlisle was in waiting for Jacob to find the words he wanted to say.

"They weren't very happy about it all at first," Jacob sighed. "But Sam knows as well as any of us that the imprinting thing can't be controlled, and isn't always ideal." He thought of Sam having no choice but to leave Leah for Emily, as much as he had hated to hurt Leah that way. Sam would be the last one to suggest Jacob should have somehow prevented it.

"So what does that mean? Are they still planning to attack us?" Jasper demanded, already thinking ahead to defence strategy.

"I told them that Renesmee's just a baby, like a real baby. No threat to anyone." I couldn't help cringing a little when I caught his thoughts, looking over at Renesmee in Rosalie's arms. He adored her, no doubt about it...but it still made me uncomfortable, to say the least. "They'll have to see it for themselves to really believe it, but Sam was prepared to take my word for it for now. They'll be on high alert around the rez to protect everyone there, but they aren't going to try and do anything aggressive."

Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief. Jasper was sceptical. Emmett was a touch disappointed.

Rosalie was the one to snort out loud. "Are we supposed to just take this dog's word for it, Carlisle?"

"Edward will know his thoughts, Rosalie. He'll tell us if Jacob isn't telling the truth. So I'm sure that he is."

"Is Edward upstairs with Bella still? How is she?" he asked. It was interesting to observe the change in the way he thought about Bella already. He still loved her...but now it was more in the nature of how one might love a friend. Or family. I might have been glad for it if it weren't for the reason behind the switch.

"She seems to be doing well. She's very quiet, but there's no reason to think everything isn't progressing as it should."

Jacob hesitated for a moment. I knew where his thoughts were headed and couldn't help feeling automatically insulted—until I had to admit that he was right. "Uh...I doubt I'm telling you guys anything you haven't already thought about..." he began, directing his words to Carlisle. "But when Bella wakes up...is she going to be..._okay_ around Renesmee? I mean, from what you guys say about newborn vampires...and Renesmee _is _half human...with half-human blood..."

"You're worried Bella won't be able to control herself and might attack Renesmee?" Carlisle asked.

The idea was abhorrent. But practical. We couldn't know how Bella would be when she first woke up as a vampire.

"Well, it's possible, right?" Jacob asked, although he felt guilty about questioning what Bella would do when she had gone through so much to bring Renesmee into the world.

"There's no doubt we'll have to be very careful. But we won't let Bella hurt the baby."

"Of course we won't," Rosalie snapped. "If she wakes up looking for blood, we'll give her _you_. The taste will probably put her off anything resembling human blood forever."

Rosalie's voice dripped with sarcasm, but Jacob took that in thoughtfully. "That's not a bad idea, Blondie. We could start with me...like a test. See how she does, if she tries to go after me. Before anyone lets her near Renesmee."

Esme's soft voice chimed in. "You'd sacrifice yourself like that, Jacob? Maybe you don't realize how strong she'll be when she first wakes up."

"Better me than Renesmee," he stated flatly. Certainly none of us could argue with that logic.

Carlisle hesitated. "Maybe there's another way. I'd rather not risk anyone."

"Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I can protect myself," Jacob said. I could see him shrug in Carlisle's mind's eye. "I'm not afraid of Bella. Even vampire Bella."

Again Rosalie snorted. "We'll see about that. I can't even imagine how scary she'll be when she finds out about this imprinting business."

"I'm sure Bella will understand," Carlisle murmured, but added silently: _eventually_.

"That settles it, then," Jacob said. "When Bella wakes up, I'll talk to her before she gets near Renesmee. To make sure she has control first."

"We'll see," Carlisle was non-committal, still hoping a safer way could be found. An alternative certainly wasn't obvious to me at the moment. And even though I knew it shouldn't, the thought of Bella tearing into Jacob had a perverse appeal. I might even call it payback for those hours in the tent earlier this year.

Satisfied for the time being, Jacob turned his attention to Renesmee, in Rosalie's arms. Renesmee was looking back at him with interest. "Hi, Nessie," he said quietly, his smile obvious in his voice.

"_Nessie?_" Rosalie spat, at the same time as my eyebrows raised. "_What?_"

Alice's tinkling bell laugh rang out in a giggle. "Nessie, short for Renesmee? I like that."

"It just seems to me that Renesmee is a lot of name for such a little girl," Jacob explained. "Just like Isabella is a lot of name for...well, _Bella_."

"Can't argue with you there," Emmett said, although I knew he cringed at the dirty look Rosalie shot in his direction.

I merely sighed. Bella was certainly going to have a lot to take in when she woke up.

*~*~*~*

More time passed. I had spent the last little while murmuring softly to Bella, telling her random stories about Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett and I at college in San Francisco in the 1960s. She had probably heard these before, but it made me feel better to talk to her as though everything were somehow normal. As though she really were just asleep, and not roasting in the fires of hell. Because of me.

Alice floated into the room quietly and crept up to my side. She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, rubbing lightly.

"How much longer?" I asked her. Since Renesmee had been delivered, Alice had gradually regained the ability to see Bella's future.

"It won't be long now," she said, pausing to let me see it for myself in her thoughts: Bella slowly awakening, sitting up on the small bed, looking around the room. She hadn't been able to put a precise timeline on it yet, but had a general idea. "See how clear she's becoming? I can see her so much better." Alice seemed to be gauging Bella's progress in part based on how clear Bella became in her vision—which in turn reflected how much closer Bella was to becoming a vampire.

I smiled a little at Alice's sigh. The weeks she had been unable to see Bella's future still weighed heavily on her. "Still feeling a little bitter?"

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," she grumbled. "You would be mortified, too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature." _No, Alice, I've _never_ had any experience with _that, I thought a tad sarcastically, but held my tongue. She continued, "I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans okay, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing I've experienced. Bah!" She was still annoyed that she could see nothing with respect to the werewolves, despite how much time she'd spent with Jacob Black lately.

"Focus, Alice."

"Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now."

I watched her vision with her in her mind's eye again: Bella awakening, sitting up, looking around the room, eyes wide in wonder and surprise at how acute her senses were. I remembered well my own awakening, despite how long ago it had taken place. It was a strange and completely overwhelming experience. I wished there was some way I could spare Bella from it, some way I could get her through it quickly. But at least the vision meant that she was going to make it.

She was really going to make it.

The waiting was torture, but, I allowed myself to think with uncharacteristic optimism, the outcome was going to be well worth it. My forever was just around the corner. I sighed with contentment at the idea of my new little nuclear family, all together. "She's really going to be fine," I heard myself breathe.

"Of course she is," Alice smiled.

"You weren't so sanguine two days ago."

"I couldn't see right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me? On the clock—give me an estimate."

Alice let out a sigh of her own, but it was teasing. "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec—"

I watched her mind's eye as she focused on Bella, on the waking, the sitting up...She tried to find a clock in the room in her vision but couldn't, so instead she focused on the study windows—trying to narrow it down by getting an idea of how high the sun was in the sky.

It was a morning sun. That meant only a few more hours to go.

I felt my face break into a wide smile. It felt foreign there, but wonderful. "Thank you, Alice," I murmured quietly, hearing the relief in my tone.

Alice continued to focus on the vision in her mind, Bella's long chestnut hair glistening in the light from the window, porcelain skin flawless, full lips a perfect pink. "She's going to be dazzling."

I let out a low growl. "She always has been."

Alice snorted and gestured at Bella, motionless on the small bed. "You know what I mean. _Look_ at her."

She was right. My Bella, always so beautiful to me, was becoming an enhanced version of herself. The change took her already perfect features and somehow perfected them even more, as though she were a photograph which had been subtly airbrushed. I had only an imprecise memory of what I had looked like before my own change, but I knew the same thing had happened to me. I'd seen it happen to Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, too. It was part of turning us into ideal predators of humans.

Alice gave my shoulder a last squeeze and floated out of the room. _I'll go see how Renesmee's doing_, she thought as she left me to my solitary vigil, already planning out what she was going to say to Rosalie in order to get a turn holding my little daughter. Renesmee had already noticeably grown; it was another reason I was so glad Bella's transformation was almost complete. She'd missed too much already.

I reached for Bella's hand and settled myself to wait the last few long hours.

*~*~*~*

I've heard it said that time is all relative, and the truth of that statement had never been more clear to me than it was while I sat through the eternity of that breaking dawn gradually piercing the night sky. I willed the sun to hurry up and vault itself higher over the horizon, instead of rising only inch by painful inch. I'd given up talking to Bella; my anxiousness robbing me of the focus to find the words. Although I knew my family was there, waiting as I was, the house was very quiet. Renesmee was still asleep. The only sound was Bella's needless but reflexive breathing and the steady thumping of her heart.

Suddenly, that thumping changed. The regular, predictable rhythm sped up and became a pounding—faster and faster. I sat bolt upright in my chair.

It was almost over.

"Carlisle," I called quietly, and both he and Alice appeared within a handful of seconds. "Listen," I said, not turning my gaze from Bella's.

"Ah," Carlisle smiled, once again clapping a hand on my shoulder. "It's almost over," he announced, echoing my earlier thought.

"Soon," Alice agreed eagerly. "I'll get the others." The whole family wanted to be there when Bella awoke, to greet her and help her adjust to the overwhelming sensory overload we all knew she was about to experience.

Alice hesitated a moment. Someone was going to have to miss it to stay with Renesmee. "Should I have Rosalie...?"

"Yes—keep the baby away," I nodded. I hated to have to do it, but I knew Bella would be destroyed if she unwillingly did anything to harm Renesmee in the fog of adjusting to her transformation.

My heart leapt—Bella's fingers had just moved! After so many hours of complete stillness, the fingers on her left hand twitched slightly. I had never been so filled with joy at the sight of something so simple. I couldn't help clutching them in my own and squeezing. "Bella? Bella, love?" I asked breathlessly, now on the literal edge of my seat.

"I'll bring them right up," Alice murmured, and flitted out of the room to gather everyone else.

The pounding that was Bella's heart continued to accelerate, becoming a staccato so rapid and furious that the individual beats were difficult to discern. I rose to my feet when her back suddenly arched up from the bed and then slumped back down almost as suddenly. Carlisle's hand on my shoulder was restraining now, urging me to keep some distance and give her some room. I knew he was right but found it nearly impossible to do. Part of me was painfully excited at the prospect of her awakening, finally, _finally_ like me and mine forever, but the other part was simply pained by the knowledge that I was listening to the very last of her human heartbeats. I was watching her humanity evaporate, filled with dread and selfish anticipation in equal measures.

_Her choice, her choice_, I reminded myself, but couldn't prevent the stinging in my eyes where human tears would be, tears of simultaneous joy and mourning. A deep, hollow-sounding thud rang loudly in my ears, drowning out the quiet sounds of the rest of my family filtering into the room. Two stuttering beats followed, themselves followed by one last thud, this one quiet in its finality.

Isabella Swan was dead.

Bella Cullen slowly opened her eyes.


	21. Chapter 21: New

Without moving from the small bed, Bella blinked her eyes slowly, her gaze fixed on the bright lamps overhead. She sucked in a sharp breath of air and seemed startled by the sensation. I exhaled as she did, unaware until that moment that I had actually been holding my breath. I was vaguely aware of several similar exhalations behind me, and recognized that the rest of our family must also have been waiting for her to breathe before they did.

Bella continued to stare at the lights and the ceiling above her, her brow creasing slightly in reaction to the intense sensory overload I knew she would be experiencing. I wished yet again that I could read her thoughts, so that I could know exactly what she was seeing, hearing and smelling and help her through it.

With that wish, I realized that I was faintly disappointed. While I wasn't exactly surprised that her mind was still silent to me, in some remote part of my brain I had been hoping that her transformation would open it somehow and let me in. I supposed it made a kind of sense, though, that her thoughts, always tightly concealed in the past, would remain at least as tightly concealed with the change.

No one spoke. The family behind me were on edge, waiting with anticipation yet ready to defend themselves—and each other—if Bella were to prove uncontrolled and irrational, as so many newborns were. The possibilities as to what she would do next were limitless and utterly unpredictable. If she felt threatened, she might attack, or run. If she felt confused, she might react by tearing the room apart. If she caught the scent of blood, she could go crashing through the window in pursuit—or, worse yet, racing down the stairs to find the nearest source of fresh blood, Renesmee. None of us knew what to expect.

It was likely only a few seconds, but it felt as though an age had passed while Bella simply looked up at the ceiling without moving. Gently, tentatively, I squeezed her fingers, carefully trying to remind her of my presence. I was relatively confident that she would remember who I was, but couldn't be sure of it.

I saw her body freeze at the sensation of my touch, then watched as every muscle contracted and sprung into action. In what would have been a blur to human eyes, she propelled herself in a kind of a back flip off the tiny hospital bed, landing on the balls of her feet, her back pressed to the opposite wall. She crouched in a defensive pose with her eyes wide and turned upon us.

_Her eyes!_ I had known they would no longer be the warm, _human_ chocolate brown that I loved, and I had tried to brace myself psychologically for the change. I had seen them grow redder the past few days whenever Carlisle would lift her lids to check her pupils. But now, awake, staring at me in fright and confusion from across the room, I had to suppress a gasp. They were no longer Bella's eyes; they were the red of a newborn vampire, strange and foreign. I thought I had finished mourning the loss of my soft and fragile human wife, but with the sight of those red eyes, the loss felt fresh once again.

Carlisle knew what I was thinking. _They'll_ _go amber like ours soon enough, Edward. That's still Bella. She's scared. Help her._

Of course it was still Bella. The long, dark hair, shiny and full of reddish highlights...the full, slightly uneven lips...the curve of her delicate neck...her small hands and wrists...the lines of her lovely body, flattered by the cut and fabric of the silk dress she wore. It was still Bella. My Bella. But the transformation had taken her perfection and somehow made her even more perfect...utterly flawless. Her incomparable beauty was breathtaking, and I had to fight the urge to simply stand there and stare at her, absorbing it with the pride of an incredibly lucky husband.

Slowly, I took a step forward and reached a hand out to her across the hospital bed on which she had lain for the past several days.

_Oh, Edward..._look_ at her. She's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous._ Without looking, I knew Alice was grinning behind me, struggling to remain still and keep her enthusiasm under wraps so that she wouldn't startle Bella.

Bella's eyes darted over my shoulder to the family behind me, then back to my face. She stared at me for a long moment. I was relieved to see recognition in her expression, but it was tempered by the sense that she was seeing something for the first time and trying to assimilate the information her newly heightened senses were giving her. _You look the same but different to her now, Edward. She sees so much more. Give her a moment_, Carlisle thought.

I held my position even as I heard her gasp once again, then slowly straighten from the defensive posture she had reflexively assumed. She seemed to relax, although her eyes were still wide, drinking in each and every miniscule detail before her.

Very carefully, keeping my movements as smooth as possible so they wouldn't surprise her, I began to step around the bed. I sensed both Emmett and Jasper tense behind me, readying themselves to spring to my defence if necessary. It was odd in the extreme to contemplate that I might need saving from Bella, small, clumsy, fragile _Bella_, but there was still no telling what she might do next.

"Bella?" I said, keeping my voice as low and even as I could. "Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."

Her mouth opened as though she wanted to say something, and I could see from her expression the torrent of thoughts that were probably racing through her mind as she tried to make sense of her new reality. Her mouth closed and then opened again, and when it closed for the second time, she caught her lower lip between her teeth.

My dead heart swelled with pure joy. That simple gesture was so _Bella_ I wanted to laugh out loud and pull her into my arms, welcome her back as though nothing had changed. Instead, I fought to keep my expression even and slowly lifted my hand to her cheek, stroking her smooth skin with my fingertips. It felt somewhat unfamiliar, no longer noticeably warm in contrast to my coolness. But at the same time, it was as familiar as my own skin. We were the same temperature. _We were the same._

For the first time, we were the same.

And not only that, I felt the oh-so-familiar tingle of electricity at the contact between us that had always been there, since the first time we had touched so many months before. It was the tingle of intense physical attraction, of recognition, of _home_. It was the tingle of acknowledgement that one half recognized the proximity of its perfect mate, together making the whole.

It was also the tingle of my body's innate desire for hers, sinking into my bones and setting all of my nerves on end. I felt it from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes, and it settled like a ball of fire in the pit of my stomach. I was glad for all the practice I had had suppressing those desires, and my rather painfully acquired ability to keep them from manifesting themselves physically in a way that would be entirely too inappropriate for the present occasion.

Still carefully, I let my fingers curl to the shape of her face, cupping her cheek against my palm. I quirked an eyebrow at her inquisitively, wondering if she would speak.

Instead, she launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and pressing her face into my chest, clutching me against her body as though I were a life raft keeping her afloat in a heavy sea.

It took me a moment to recover from my surprise—and realize that she was squeezing me rather uncomfortably hard. If I had been human, she almost certainly would have cracked a few ribs.

I shifted gently, trying to hint that she should loosen her grasp. Her face turned up to mine, confusion and hurt written in her features.

"Um...carefully, Bella. Ow," I murmured. I kept my voice light, hoping she would understand that the issue was by no means rejection.

She yanked her arms away quickly and tucked them behind her back. She looked up at me sheepishly from under her lashes, mouthing, "Oops."

I couldn't help breaking into a grin. She was impossibly adorable, gazing up at me that way. "Don't panic, love." I lifted a hand to touch her lips. "You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."

Her brow creased into a frown as she considered that information. I moved to stroke her cheek again, looking for another fix of the delectable tingle of desire, even though I knew it meant another struggle with my body's automatic response to hers.

It didn't help with that when she slowly brought her right arm from behind her back and pressed her hand to my cheek, doubling the electricity coursing through me by mirroring my gesture with hers. She looked up at me again and struggled to find her voice. I heard someone—Alice, probably—suck in another breath in anticipation of what Bella's first words as a vampire would be.

"I love you." My heart and soul soared at her words at the same time as my ears revelled in the sound of her new voice, smooth and clear as the sound of a crystal bell.

Yes, she remembered me.

Another grin spread across my face. "As I love you." Without thinking, I gave in to my next impulse and took her face between my hands, leaning down to kiss her. Thankfully, it was still reflexive for me to be slow and gentle with this, as I had had to be when she was human. It meant that I avoided moving so fast as to startle her. Ever so gently, I brushed my lips over hers and then back again, pressing our mouths together softly.

What I wasn't prepared for was the sudden amplification of the tingling electricity between us, doubling, tripling, and tripling again with a force that made me press my lips to hers again, stronger, fiercer this time. I completely forgot the place, the occasion and the audience behind me as I gave in to the sensation, tugging her lower lip between mine before sliding my tongue into her mouth tentatively, tasting her and breathing her in as though we'd never kissed before.

Truly, we never had kissed before, not like this. She was no longer my human, high-school aged girlfriend whose virtue I felt compelled to protect. More importantly, she was no longer glass in my hands, prone to shatter with the slightest wrong move or excess of pressure.

She was my vampire wife, my equal, able to receive everything I could give her and just as able to return it in an even measure. Not only that, I could feel her respond, melting into the kiss and curving her body around mine, her needless breathing accelerating. She had been so afraid that she would lose this as a newborn, her part of the overwhelming desire between us—yet it appeared to have been preserved. I wasn't sure which forces of heaven or hell to thank for it, but thankful I was.

_Oh, for...we're still in the room, you know_, Emmett thought as he cleared his voice loudly.

Bella quickly pulled back, releasing her hold around my neck and drawing her body away from where it was tightly pressed against mine. I chuckled at her clearly embarrassed expression, one that would have been accompanied by her characteristic blush when she was still human. I may never see that blush again, but her facial expression was still the same, still as reflective of her feelings as if she were an open book for me to read.

I wasn't ready to permit the loss of contact between us, and stepped forward with her, maintaining my grip around her waist. The feel of her body was as familiar as ever, but she simply felt more substantial somehow. More solid. More durable. My mind raced ahead with thoughts of what that was going to mean in terms of how I could touch her, and I selfishly wished it were night time and we were alone. I chuckled a little and felt a smirk draw the corners of my mouth up. _Soon enough, soon enough..._

Bella looked at me with her eyes slightly narrowed. "You've been holding out on me."

I laughed, knowing immediately what she meant. I had never before been able to put so much of myself into kissing her and holding her body against mine, always mindful of the possibility that I would crush her with the slightest mistake. "It was sort of necessary at the time," I told her. "Now it's your turn to not break _me_."

She frowned as she contemplated that, and the seriousness of her expression made all of us laugh.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle step around Emmett and walk toward us, confident but still cautious. Jasper was only a step behind him.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked her.

"Overwhelmed. There's so _much_..." She let her voice trail off, clearly concentrating on how unusual it sounded in her own ears.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing."

She gave a quick nod. "But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

I squeezed her gently, beaming. "I told you so."

Carlisle was still assessing her with his eyes. He had seen numerous transformations over his many years, interacted with countless newborn vampires. He was markedly impressed by how very well she seemed to be doing. "You are quite controlled. More so than _I_ expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this."

She looked unconvinced. "I'm not sure about that."

Carlisle nodded as he looked at her. "It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?"

She hesitated briefly as I allowed myself a deep breath in, letting her new scent permeate my lungs. Not a trace of a burn in my throat now, I noted with satisfaction. I had become used to it, hardly noticing it anymore, but I could honestly say that was one thing I wasn't going to miss in the least. Breathing her scent now was...refreshing. Invigorating. _Enticing..._

I gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head, pushing that thought away for later. I was interested in her answer to this question; I hoped so much that it had not been too painful for her.

"Everything was...very dim before," she said finally. "I remember the baby couldn't breathe...."

She glanced up at my face inquisitively, and I knew I was beaming in response at the thought of our child. "Renesmee is healthy and well," I assured her in a quiet voice. "What do you remember after that?"

Again she hesitated for a fraction of an instant, choosing her words. "It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then...I opened my eyes and I could see _everything_."

I couldn't help wondering what she wasn't saying aloud. She was such a terrible liar, and apparently hadn't gotten any better at it with the transformation.

"Amazing," Carlisle murmured. "I want you to think—to tell me everything you remember." He was fascinated by how well she was doing, how calm she was in the face of everything that had happened to her and the group of vampires staring at her.

A slight grimace creased her features, and I felt a flash of concern. What was she remembering?

Carlisle, however, took it as a sign of her new body's physical need for sustenance. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella. Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Her left hand flew up to her throat, as if she were just now remembering that she was, indeed, burning with thirst. I knew the feeling; with age, I had become able to compartmentalize the thirst, to set it aside when other things required my attention. It was astonishing that already it wasn't the only thing dominating her every thought. The rest of our family were thinking the exact same thing as they watched her small gesture.

I let my arms fall from around her waist and reached for her hand. She may have been doing incredibly well, but there was no reason to tempt fate, or to prolong any discomfort she was feeling. "Let's hunt, Bella."

She looked shocked at the suggestion, her eyes widening. It was the look she once had on her face when I suggested dancing: fright, uncertainty.

I smiled. "It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." She stared back at me without moving, so I raised an eyebrow at her teasingly. "I was under the impression that you'd always _wanted_ to see me hunt." The idea of sharing the thrill of the chase with her had me excited.

She laughed lightly and I reached for her other hand, gently pulling it from where it still rested against her neck. I couldn't resist letting the backs of my own fingers trace down the column of her throat, savouring the feel of her smooth skin under mine. "Shall we? I don't want you to be hurting."

"I'm fine," she murmured, and looked distracted. "Wait. First."

Carlisle gazed at her curiously. "Yes?"

"I want to see her. Renesmee." She withdrew her hands from mine and floated them down to her abdomen, flat now where it had been so grossly distended with her pregnancy a mere three days ago. She clutched at the silk of her dress as though searching for what had once grown inside her.

There was almost nothing I wanted as much as I wanted her to see our daughter, for our daughter to see _her_, now awake and no longer drenched in blood and sweat. I wanted to share that first moment with them both, and see my little nuclear family all together, safe and complete in my arms. I ached to give her that.

But it would be irresponsible to do it right now. Both Carlisle and Jasper shot me anxious thoughts along the same line, reminding me unnecessarily that I could not acquiesce yet.

Bella looked between my face and Carlisle's. "What?"

"Bella," I began, trying to keep a comforting tone in my voice. "That's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control...You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"

She frowned as she contemplated my words, but didn't seem inclined to argue. Instead, she cocked her head slightly to one side. Listening. "Where is she?"

I focused on the sounds from the floor below as she appeared to be doing, noting the sound of breathing and a quiet, quick heartbeat. _Don't let her down here, Edward. She has to hunt first_, Rosalie warned, as though I wasn't already quite aware of that fact. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes in irritation.

"Is Rosalie with her?" Bella asked.

"Yes," I told her, and reached for her hands once again. The sooner we could hunt, the sooner I could re-introduce her to our daughter.

"Wait," she protested again. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I...unconscious?"

Yes. Jacob and Charlie. Both issues we were going to have to deal with soon enough, neither of them easy.

_Later, Edward_, Carlisle suggested silently. _She'll be better equipped to deal with all of that later, when her thirst isn't distracting her so much._

Bella looked between my face and Carlisle's once again. "What's wrong?" she whispered anxiously.

"Nothing is _wrong_," Carlisle tried to assure her. "Nothing has changed much, actually—you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative—the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea." He gave me a proud smile, which I returned gratefully. I desperately hoped that it really _had_ helped her. At least the duration of the pain had been lessened, if nothing else. "Jacob is still here," Carlisle continued, "and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme." Yes, I had almost forgotten that Carlisle and Esme had handled the Charlie situation for me while I waited at Bella's bedside. I owed my adoptive parents so much, for all of this.

"I should call him..." she murmured, again frowning as she thought about her father. _Could_ she call him? I still wasn't sure that would ever be a wise idea, but I didn't want to debate that with her now.

Her frown deepened. "Hold on—Jacob is _still here_?"

Carlisle and I exchanged another glance. Of course he was. If he could possibly help it, he didn't want to be more than five feet from Renesmee's side ever again.

Another topic I didn't want to discuss with Bella right now.

"Bella," I said instead. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain...."

"But Jacob—"

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love," I told her.

She hesitated only briefly this time. "Okay," she murmured finally, and I was grateful that she was going to cooperate. All of it would be so much easier for her to process when she had the thirst under control.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alice suddenly sang from near the door, and floated closer to us. I saw Jasper tense from the corner of my eye and take a step in her direction. She ignored his protective gesture. "You promised I could be there for the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

I realized what she was talking about and rolled my eyes. That hardly seemed to be a matter of significance at the moment, with everything else we were going to have to deal with in short order. "Alice—"

"It will only take a second!" she announced, and darted from the room to go find a mirror.

I sighed. It really was impossible to deter her once she was determined to do something, no matter how trivial.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked, but Alice was already back with Rosalie's huge, gilt-framed mirror, carrying it easily despite the fact that it was twice her size. Jasper slid over again in her direction, eyeing Bella carefully. She seemed to really focus on him for the first time herself, and I felt her body tense. She was no doubt alarmed by his many, many battle scars. Every vampire who had ever met him for the first time had the same reaction, including myself.

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice sang cheerily. "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

I arched an eyebrow at her exaggeration. "Chewed out?"

"Maybe I'm overstating things," she murmured absently, focused on the process of getting the mirror in front of Bella, almost shivering in anticipation of Bella's reaction to her new physical appearance.

"And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I muttered.

Alice merely winked at me. _She has to see, Edward. She is so, so gorgeous!_

_Hmph_, I thought to myself with irritation. _She always has been._ But I turned to watch her reaction anyway—no matter how many times I told her in the past how beautiful she was, I knew she remained fundamentally unconvinced. It would be interesting to see if she would now change her mind.

Her mind...God, how I wished I could hear her mind in that moment as she studied her reflection! She looked pleased...mystified...even slightly disturbed by what she saw, each reaction manifest on her face one after the other, then almost simultaneously. The rest of the family watched her with fascination.

"The eyes?" she whispered after a few moments. "How long?"

I knew what she was asking. They really were the most prominently different feature about her. "They'll darken up in a few months," I told her, trying to be reassuring. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" she repeated, clearly horrified by the idea. For the first time since she had awoken and taken that first back flip off the hospital bed, she seemed truly anxious. I saw Jasper step forward when he sensed it, wondering if the sight of her eyes would be the thing that caused an irrational, newborn vampire reaction. He was preparing himself to intervene physically if necessary, but also to exert his intangible influence to calm her.

_No, I think it's okay, Jazz_, Alice thought, even though he wasn't the one who could hear her. She was gazing at the wall as she concentrated, trying to see if some kind of incident with Bella were about to occur. _I don't see anything...she's upset, but mostly she's just surprised._

Bella drew in a breath that was unnecessary but nevertheless seemed to settle her. "No, I'm fine," she murmured, glancing from Jasper to Alice to me and back to her reflection in the mirror. "It's just...a lot to take in."

_Amazing_, Jasper was astonished as he watched her. Of any of us, even Carlisle, he had the most experience with newborn vampires as a result of his time in the southern wars. He had been certain she would snap in some way sooner or later—but it still hadn't happened. _How in the world is she keeping such control?_

"I don't know," I murmured aloud. But one thing I _did_ know—I couldn't possibly have been prouder of her than I was in that moment.

Bella frowned but continued to gaze at her own reflection in the mirror. "What question did I miss?"

I grinned. "Jasper wonders how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper answered. "I've never seen a newborn do that—stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"No," he murmured, but with some trepidation. He was still finding it very difficult to believe that the reactions he was expecting wouldn't manifest themselves eventually. As far as he was concerned they _had_ to. It was impossible for them not to.

I reached out and rubbed her arm to comfort her. "It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold."

Alice was still concentrating, and still didn't see any kind of incident on the horizon. For the immediate future, all she saw was a hunting trip, and a successful one at that. As a result, she was impatiently looking for Bella's reaction to the most pressing matter at hand as far as she was concerned: Bella's new physical appearance. "But what do you think?" she asked Bella, rocking onto her heels impatiently, pointing at the mirror.

"I'm not sure," Bella answered uncertainly as she focused again on her reflection. She seemed to be finding more than just her eyes difficult to get used to. I tried to remember my own reaction to my 'revised' physical appearance after my transformation, and I vaguely recalled thinking I didn't look much like my human self. Because I'd witnessed Esme's, Emmett's and Rosalie's transformations, however, and found their appearances enhanced but not that much different from their human selves, I'd come to believe that to some degree it was in the eye of the beholder; vampire eyes were just so much better able to really see.

Besides, there was no doubt in my mind that Bella had never been able to appreciate her own incomparable beauty. I wished again that I could hear her thoughts now and discover that she could finally see herself the way I did. The inability to do so made me sigh lightly.

Bella turned from the mirror and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "Disappointed?"

I laughed at the idea that there was anything about her that could ever disappoint me, but I admitted what I had been thinking anyway. "Yes."

Her face fell instantly and Alice snarled. _Edward!_ Jasper leaned forward again, wondering if _this_ would be what caused Bella to react.

I chuckled and reached out to pull my wife into my arms once again, leaning down to press a kiss against her cheek. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own," I told her. "And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

Her expression cleared as quickly as it had clouded over in the first place. She actually looked quite relieved, and I was sure that that relief was twofold. "Oh well," she shrugged slightly. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."

I growled at her. She _still_ insisted on underestimating herself. "Bella, you have _never_ been merely pretty."

Jasper had relaxed again once Bella had, but he was still anxious for her to hunt and take care of her thirst. In his experience, it was the all-encompassing thirst above all else that pushed newborn vampires past the edge of reason. "All right, all right," I sighed again.

"What?" Bella asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."

She glanced at Jasper and nodded. "Okay. Let's hunt." She stepped out of my grasp but took one of my hands in hers, ready for me to lead her on her first trip into the forest as a vampire.


	22. Chapter 22: First Hunt

Bella looked at me dubiously, raising an eyebrow. "The window?" She moved her eyes from my face to the view outside, two stories down to the ground below.

I couldn't help smiling. If she didn't appear to be doing so incredibly _well _with the transformation, I may have suggested we just use the back door, despite the presence of our half-human child and one werewolf in the living room below. With that in mind, however, using the window seemed like a reasonable test of what I expected would be a newfound grace and agility that would both surprise and delight her after her lifetime of clumsiness. "It's the most convenient exit," I explained casually. "If you're frightened, I can carry you."

Her eyebrow arched even higher into her perfectly smooth forehead. "We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?"

"Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs..." I offered with a slight frown. I hated having to suggest that she couldn't be trusted around them, but the reality was what it was. Always better to be safe than sorry.

"Oh." The look on her face told me that she knew exactly what I was worried about, and the thought disturbed her. "Is Renesmee...okay...with Jacob there?" she whispered. "He doesn't like her much."

I restrained the urge to snort. We'd deal with _that_ issue later, after she'd hunted. While the small, sadistic part of me was anticipating her reaction to Jacob once she heard the news of the imprinting, the larger part of me didn't want to see her upset. "Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking." Lucky for him, all of his thoughts remained positive and pure—or I would have been dealing with the imprinting myself. Permanently.

"Of course," she murmured, and glanced back outside at the ground below.

"Stalling?"

"A little," she admitted. "I don't know how..." Even without reading her mind, her face told me that she doubted her ability to pull such a feat off without breaking a leg...or her neck...even if it _did_ heal immediately.

Emmett let out a soft chuckle, anticipating the show to come. While he knew that she really should have no problem with leaping from the window, he also wondered if her clumsiness would somehow have remained a part of her in this life. He kind of _hoped_ it would have, for his own amusement and an eternity of bad jokes at her expense.

I was determined to spare her from that fate. I would go first, and at the very least, be below to catch her if something went awry. Truthfully, when I had decided to lead her to the window in the first place I had thought ahead and planned to be below to catch her. I knew she _should_ have no trouble with it, but the idea of my Bella leaping out of a two storey window was going to take some getting used to for me, too. I didn't want to watch her leap out ahead, leaving me behind, helpless to do anything if she failed to land properly.

"Watch me," I told her, then simply stepped forward over the sill, as I had hundreds and hundreds of times in the past. I was careful to land in an exaggerated fashion, demonstrating how to bend my knees to absorb the impact.

She watched me for a brief moment, studying my moves. Then I heard her teeth clench together and she stepped forward, just as I had.

At the last moment, I realized she still had the silly high heels on that Alice had put her in when she had changed her into the rather impractical—albeit beautiful—ice blue silk dress she wore. I hadn't had to factor stiletto heels into _my_ landing as she would. I opened my mouth to warn her but it was too late—she'd already landed beside me on the balls of her feet, having anticipated without me saying so how to do it in a way that would allow for the shoes.

She grinned at me, obviously proud that she had just done that without injury and without giving Emmett a show. "Right. Easy."

I smiled back, pleasantly surprised and just as proud. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful—even for a vampire."

She beamed at the compliment. I doubted anyone had ever called her _graceful_ before. But it was true. Carlisle, Esme and Alice were delighted. Jasper was simply astonished. Emmett was disappointed, but grudgingly acknowledged in his mind that my use of the word 'graceful' was more than apt.

"_Thank_ you," she told me, then reached down to take the impractical shoes from her feet and toss them back through the open window above, her aim impeccable. Alice was able to catch them both with barely an effort, but was grouchy at seeing her carefully planned outfit dismantled even a little.

"Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance," my sister grumbled quietly, getting a soft chuckle from Esme.

I was ready for the hunt, and for my first few moments completely alone with my _vampire_ wife. I took her hand in mine and darted through the yard to the riverbank, marvelling at how substantial and solid her flesh felt in mine, even though it was the same small, dainty hand as always. It was both familiar and new, in equal parts.

Bella hesitated at the edge of the river. "Are we swimming?" she asked casually, apparently not daunted by the thought at all.

"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."

She contemplated that for a moment, staring at the river and probably calculating exactly how far a leap it was. "You first," she said finally.

I released my grip on her hand but couldn't resist stroking her cheek gently with the backs of my fingers. Same soft cheek.

I stepped backward a few strides to give myself room for a bit of a running start, then easily ran forward and launched myself over the flowing water. I couldn't resist adding a playful somersault mid-air. I didn't look back when I landed, but instead took off into the trees, challenging her to follow me. Me being me, however, I didn't go far, stopping close enough to the river that I could still hear what she was doing and be back at her side in an instant if necessary.

"Show-off," I heard her mutter, and laughed out loud. There was quiet for a moment, and then a sharp tearing sound. That tear was followed by two others, one long and another, shorter. Had she caught the hem of her dress on something? I cursed myself a little. I should have allowed her to change clothing before we left. This would be enough of a new challenge for her wearing something comfortable.

Muffled laughter came from the direction of the house, along with the sound of grinding teeth—Alice's. The family were still watching her, and while everyone else was rather amused by what they had just seen, Alice was perturbed by the fact that Bella had deliberately torn her dress up each side so that she could move more easily. _Now_ that's _hot_, Emmett thought appreciatively, and I wasn't sure whether to be disturbed or not by the vision in his mind of my wife now clad in ice-blue, skin tight silk with a slit up each side to the top of her thighs, leaving both legs quite exposed.

Mostly, however, I was looking forward to seeing it for myself, and marvelling a little at the fact Bella had just done that. Usually she was so self-conscious of anyone seeing her body. She probably hadn't anticipated that the family would still be watching.

I heard nothing to suggest that she had leapt across the river yet. "Bella?" I called, walking back towards the spot where I had landed. "Do you want to watch again?"

She didn't respond, but I heard her take a deep breath, then the sound of her bare feet running, each step a gentle thud against the firm earth. I had walked back far enough that I caught sight of her in mid-air over the running water. She had overshot the distance and I worried for a moment that she would crash into a tree on this side of the river, but she easily reached out a hand and caught the nearest branch. She swung slightly and then let go, landing on her toes on another thick branch below.

Her delighted laughter rang through the trees like a church bell. I raced over quickly, and when she saw me she leapt to the ground, again landing softly on the balls of her feet. Her whole face was shining with excitement and delight.

She was _thrilled_ with the power of her new body. I was surprised with exactly how thrilled she appeared to be. I remembered back to my own transformation, and clearly recalled that I had been rather disturbed by that at first because it was so different than what I had been used to as a human—it was so _inhuman_ and monstrous. Rosalie had been almost horrified by it, insisting that "girls" like her weren't supposed to have that kind of strength. I knew that she had embraced the power eventually—and used it to seek her revenge against those who had ended her human life—but she had taken her time to grow accustomed.

"Was that good?" Bella asked me breathlessly, scanning my face for a reaction.

"Very good," I told her, trying to remain casual and disguise the extent of my surprise. She seemed to be enjoying every moment that unfolded before her.

"Can we do it again?"

She wanted to play, and test out her abilities. "Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip," I reminded her gently. There would be plenty of time for experimentation later.

"Oh, right," she nodded, her face serious again. "Hunting."

Well, we needed to hunt...but that didn't mean it couldn't be fun, too. I shook off my earlier surprise and grinned at her. "Follow me," I instructed, "...if you can." I broke into a run into the trees, my pace fast but not my maximum. I didn't want to lose her entirely.

I should have known better. Within an instant, the benefit of her newborn strength had allowed her to catch up, and she ran right beside me, laughing lightly, able to match my pace with her stronger strides. I was pretty sure I could still outrun her if I _really_ put my mind to it, but reminded myself of the goal.

I had always loved to run like this. It was my favourite part of being a vampire. The thrill of the speed at which my legs could carry me, the ability to see everything I passed with just as much clarity as if I stood still and carefully observed it, the scents rushing past me, the feel of the wind through my hair, whipping my clothing against my body. It was utter freedom, the only thing I had ever been able to conceive of celebrating about my vampire life once I no longer lived as a human.

I had much to celebrate now, more than I ever deserved or dreamed that I would. But I still loved to run. Having my reason to celebrate it at my side made it infinitely better.

Suddenly, however, Bella was no longer at my side—she was pulling ahead. I was astonished. No one had been able to keep up with me for decades, not since Emmett's transformation. I concentrated on increasing my speed, still confident I could catch her, but it only made her run even harder herself, laughing at me over her shoulder. She was able to propel herself forward with such strength that every step she took was more of a leap than an actual stride. _Incorrigible woman!_ I thought when she continued to laugh in delight, but had to chuckle at the sheer joy she was taking in her new strength.

Eventually, though, I knew we really needed to get back to the hunt. I stopped suddenly and called after her.

She kept going for a moment, but then turned around with a soft sigh, skipping lightly back to my side. She looked so beautiful, prancing forward with each soft step, the breeze carrying her hair out over her shoulders. The wind against her cheeks had reddened them a little, and her eyes danced with joy and excitement. She was enjoying this _so much_. It took my breath away.

I smiled at her and shook my head, raising an eyebrow. "Did you want to stay in the country?" I asked with no small amount of amusement. "Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?"

"This is fine," she murmured in reply, for some reason staring at my mouth as she did so. "What are we hunting?"

"Elk. I thought something easy for your first time..." Her eyes had narrowed in umbrage at my use of the word 'easy', as though she resented that I thought for a moment anyone needed to take anything easy on her. Typical Bella.

She looked back and forth almost comically, as if she expected an elk to be standing there waiting for her. "Where?"

"Hold still for a minute," I told her, placing my hands on her shoulders to stop her movement. It was obvious she was still having trouble focusing, as each new thought she had completely subsumed whatever she had been thinking about the moment before. "Now close your eyes." She did so, and I raised my hands to her face, softly stroking her cheekbones. I did it in an effort to calm her and give her something to focus on, but I couldn't help smiling when I heard her breathing speed. She may have changed, but I still knew _that_ sound and what it meant. The feel of her smooth, perfect skin under my fingertips and the lovely red of her full lips made me desperately want to kiss her again, to feel her mouth against mine and not have to concentrate on not crushing her facial bones...but I knew that had to wait.

"Listen," I instructed her. "What do you hear?"

She was perfectly still and quiet for a moment as she focused on what her sense of hearing was telling her. I knew she was hearing everything, every movement of every creature in the trees around us, even the trees themselves as they swayed slightly in the breeze, or shed a leaf and the leaf fell to the ground with a gentle thud. I also knew that if she focused, she'd hear the stream that was nearby, the heartbeats of the animals there, the gentle lapping of their tongues in the water. That was our immediate destination.

"By the creek, to the northeast?" she asked, her eyes still shut.

"Yes." It was extremely difficult for a newborn not to be overwhelmed by sensory information, but I knew she could focus if she tried. "Now...wait for the breeze again and...what do you smell?" I knew as well that she could smell everything, the perfume of each wildflower, the scent of each tree and blade of grass. I chuckled when she wrinkled her nose. That meant she had just found the scent of what I was hoping she would: the musk of the elk, the tang of their blood. "I know—it takes some getting used to." The scent of human blood was so much more appealing to our kind. That would simply never change.

"Three?" she guessed.

"Five," I told her. "There are two more in the trees behind them."

"What do I do now?"

"What do you feel like doing?"

She was thoughtful for a long moment as she considered that, but then her eyelids snapped open.

"Don't think about it," I suggested, reluctantly taking my hands away from her face and stepping back to give her room to react. "Just follow your instincts." Even though Bella wasn't a vegetarian as a human, I hoped she wouldn't worry about the lives of the animals she was about to take. That had been a problem for Esme at first. She hadn't wanted to kill _anything_, not even so much as a rabbit, but the thirst had eventually won out.

I followed behind as Bella carefully moved toward the sound and the scent on which she was now concentrating. She moved fluidly, silently, no longer running but still very quick with each step down the nearby incline and to the narrow meadow where the little stream flowed. She crouched down instinctively and hesitated while still under the cover of the trees. A big bull elk was standing at the edge of the stream, while four smaller animals headed away at a leisurely pace. Without me even having to tell her to do so, Bella had managed to stay upwind, and the small herd had no idea that we were there.

She appeared to be considering her next move as she watched the male in front of her, now only about thirty yards away. I could see her muscles tense in preparation to spring forward.

Then—disaster.

The wind picked up and shifted suddenly, blowing a new, stronger scent in our direction. I recognized it immediately: humans. Humans in the forest. _Dammit!_ This deep into the trees? How was that even possible?

Before I could open my mouth or lift a finger to react, Bella sprinted out of the trees in a path perpendicular to the bull elk before us, startling him so much that he darted away at top speed. She wasn't interested in him anymore anyway—she had caught the same scent I had, and was after it without a second thought.

I cursed under my breath and followed. I had to run as fast as I possibly could to keep up with her, and it still wasn't enough to catch her now that she was singularly focused on what I knew was to her an incomparably delicious and utterly irresistible scent: the scent of human blood coursing warmly through veins and arteries, pumping through a human body with each appealing wet smack of a beating heart.

As she gained ground in front of me, somehow putting more space between us, I despaired at my ability to prevent her from doing what she was about to do—what had become a singular, biological imperative to every cell in her body. I didn't blame her, but I knew she would blame herself if she did this. I pushed myself on with every ounce of strength I had.

Suddenly, she stopped running, and whipped her body around in my direction, a deep, feral growl erupting from her chest. Her lips were pulled back from her teeth and her eyes were wild, almost vicious.

She seemed as surprised as I was by the sound that had just come out of her body. She straightened her posture and her features smoothed slightly. By some divine mercy, the wind shifted again at that same moment, diluting the human scent that hung heavily in the air and blowing it away from where we stood.

I drew up short and raised my hands in a gesture of non-aggression, concentrating carefully on her face to search for signs of recognition—that she knew who I was and that I was not a threat to her.

When she stood up suddenly, straightening from her defensive crouch, I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she had at least started to regain her senses despite the human scent in the distance. I took a slow step toward her, lowering my arms. I could see the struggle in her features, and how much she wanted to resume her chase. Her jaw clenched together tightly, and it was obvious that she was trying not to breathe. "I have to get away from here," she managed to say through gritted teeth.

I was stunned. She knew what was happening to her? She understood what she had reacted to...and _understood_ the need to resist it? It was incomprehensible for a newborn. It was something even the oldest in our family still struggled with, except perhaps for Carlisle. "_Can_ you leave?" I asked incredulously.

She didn't answer. Instead, she turned on her heel and started to run again—to the _north_, in the _opposite_ direction from which the human scent had come. I didn't have more than a fraction of an instant to recognize how stunned by that I was before I tore off after her.

I caught up with her quickly, and when she realized I was at her side she stopped suddenly. I hadn't expected that and ended up blowing past her, such that I had to wheel around and jog back to her side. I put my hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "How did you do that?"

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" she demanded.

_What?_ _Beat...?_ I was shocked by her irrelevant question given the gravity of the situation we had almost found ourselves in, but shrugged it off and shook my head. "Bella, how did you do it?"

She looked confused. "Run away? I held my breath."

"But how did you stop hunting?"

"When you came up behind me..." her red eyes looked at me with shame. "I'm so sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing to _me_?" I demanded. "I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! _You_ have nothing to apologize for." _Stupid humans_, I thought to myself bitterly, but didn't voice it out loud. _Don't they know there are _predators_ in the forest?_ The stupidity of humans was a source of constant aggravation to me, but it didn't erase the fact that I should have been more careful myself.

"But I growled at you!" she protested, clearly horrified by her behaviour.

"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away." I had visions of having to jump on her and wrestle her away from astonished humans and shuddered. What we had narrowly escaped was disastrous. What she had managed to do in resisting it was nothing short of incredible.

"What else could I do?" she asked as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It might have been someone I know!"

At that, I dissolved into laughter. Her expression, the fact that she was so astonished by my astonishment, what she had just been able to accomplish because of her overriding, all-encompassing fear of _harming_ anyone else...It wasn't funny, but I couldn't think of what else to do but laugh.

"_Why are you laughing at me?_" she demanded sharply, and I quickly pulled myself together. She would still be emotionally volatile as a young vampire...wouldn't she? I wasn't sure what to expect anymore.

"I'm not laughing at you, Bella," I explained gently. "I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so...so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should _not _have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that—we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than hours old."

"Oh."

She was considering my explanation, but still looked as though she weren't sure if it satisfied her.

I shook my head incredulously. God, her silent mind frustrated me at times like this!

I reached over to place my palms on her cheeks again. "What I wouldn't give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment."

Her expression softened at my touch, her eyes carefully studying my face. There was something there, something I had seen briefly back in Carlisle's study after she had first awakened, but otherwise it was something I hadn't seen for at least a few weeks. Her own hands crept up and softly traced the outline of my jaw and cheekbones, her fingertips grazing my lips. "I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time? But I still _want_ you."

I blinked, once again completely stunned. _What? She was talking about...? What?_

The seventeen-year-old male in me wanted to do what was commonly described these days as an enthusiastic happy dance. But the responsible creator of a newborn vampire knew we had more pressing matters to deal with right now.

"How can you even concentrate on that?" I demanded. "Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

She sighed in resignation and closed her eyes without prompting. She started to concentrate again, as she had just before she'd discovered the elk nearby earlier. We both cast our senses out into the trees, both tensed somewhat against the possibility of another onslaught of the scent of human blood. I was still having a hard time believing what I had witnessed with her so far today, but was distracted when I caught one of my favourite scents of all, as far as animals went: mountain lion. It was faint, to the east. I wondered if she would even notice it.

I should have known better. When her eyelids snapped open, she immediately headed east.

I followed at what I considered a safe distance, far enough back that she wouldn't react to me instinctively again as a threat to her hunt, but close enough that I could intervene if something went wrong. I watched with interest as she naturally did exactly what she was supposed to do, without any instruction from me. She ran lightly, more slowly than she had before, her body lowered into a hunting crouch. When it was more convenient, she took to the trees, either running along branches on the balls of her feet, or leaping from tree to tree without a second thought.

We were climbing higher ground, the vegetation thinning even as the scent we pursued became more distinct and easier to follow. It was a sharper scent than elk, somehow tangier and more appealing, at least to me. Since Bella was on it intently I assumed it appealed to her also, and wondered if it would turn out that we had the same tastes.

Before long, we could hear the sound of padded feet, soft and more subtle than the crunching of hooves in the grass. The animal was somewhere above us, in the trees themselves. I was wondering whether I should point Bella upwards but she figured it out for herself before I could do so, pulling herself up into the branches silently. She somehow realized that she would have the advantage if she climbed higher than the animal, so that she could look down at it and trace its movement from above. With the benefit of years of experience I could tell exactly where it was now, but I decided to stay on the ground and simply observe, quite confident that Bella would figure it out for herself easily enough if given a few moments.

I wasn't disappointed. I watched as her eyes searched the branches and found the large cat on a wide branch in a tree underneath her and to her left, quietly stalking its own prey on the ground below.

It was a large male, easily several hundred pounds, well-muscled and armed with razor sharp teeth and claws. On full sight of him, comparing his massive size to my petite wife, barefoot and clad in her blue silk dress above, my own instinct to protect her and provide for her almost kicked in, and I was tempted to wrestle the lion down _for_ her before it could even think of harming her in any way. I forcibly resisted the urge, reminding myself not for the first time during this excursion that she was no longer fragile, human Isabella Swan. Bella Cullen, newborn vampire, could handle herself. I needed to let her learn this on her own.

In a way it made me a little sad, though, to realize that she would never need me in the same way ever again. I appreciated that we were true partners now, equals, but some part of me would probably always miss the way it had been.

Distracted by my own thoughts, I almost missed the lightning-fast motion of Bella leaping from her branch to the lion's, startling him from his hunt and enraging him enough that he let out a deafening roar. My heart caught in my throat when I saw him turn on her with teeth and claws bared, and again I had to fight back the urge to leap into the tree myself and protect her. For her part, however, Bella hardly seemed to register anything resembling a threat before she launched herself right at him, knocking them both to the forest floor with a loud crash.

They wrestled briefly, and I pressed myself against a tree trunk, gripping it to keep my own hands still. I held on, rooting myself to the spot so that I wouldn't jump into the fray and interfere.

But really, it wasn't much of a fight. His teeth and claws couldn't so much as scratch her stone skin, and even with his greater mass he was no match for her strength. She wrestled him into a position where she could easily sink her teeth into his throat, instinctively going straight for the most powerful artery. He struggled a little in her arms as she drank, but it was over quite quickly, probably more quickly than if he had been shot in the heart by a hunter's bullet. When I saw him still, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Once she had finished draining him, Bella shoved his carcass aside and leapt to her feet, drawing the back of one bare arm over her mouth in an effort to wipe off the residual blood that still clung to her lips. Her hair was messy from the struggle, the odd leaf stuck into the dark waves that fell over her shoulders, and her body was smudged with dirt from the forest floor. Although the mountain lion's claws hadn't come close to piercing her skin, he had certainly done a number on the silk dress. It was smeared with blood and torn in more places than the original Bella-designed slits up each thigh.

It was startling and unsettling to see her that way, provoking my every instinct to rush forward and care for her, to tend to the injuries I knew logically were not there.

But it was also..._incredibly enticing_ to see her that way, so raw and powerful. So unbelievably..._sexy_.

"Hmm," I murmured thoughtfully when she glanced over in my direction.

She clearly realized that she was a mess, and looked sheepish as she looked down at herself. "I guess I could have done that better."

I had to swallow before answering. It still wasn't the appropriate time to tell her what I really thought of her current appearance. "You did perfectly fine," I told her honestly. "It's just that...it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been."

She raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"It goes against the grain," I shrugged, "letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly," she said, but looked kind of amused.

"I know. Old habits die hard." I couldn't resist a small smirk. "I like the improvements to your dress, though."

"Why am I still thirsty?"

"Because you're young."

She sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby."

So far she _did _share my preferences. She hadn't tried bears yet, though. Emmett still swore by the bears. "Plenty of deer, though."

She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "They don't smell as good."

"Herbivores," I explained. "The meat-eaters smell more like humans."

"Not that much like humans," she replied, and I could see the movement of her throat as she swallowed heavily against the memory.

"We could go back," I said mildly, teasing her now. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." I took a moment to observe the state of her torn dress again, enjoying not only the sight of her strong, smooth thighs, obvious from the slits in the side seams, but also the way it now hung low on one shoulder, exposing just the top of the curve of her right breast. "In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you."

There was no doubt in my mind that my statement was true, but she snorted and rolled her eyes. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."

I let her lead the way back into the trees, in the general direction of home and a herd of a mule deer. I decided to hunt with her this time, since the opportunity presented itself and I really had ignored my own thirst for far too long. I quickly drained two deer while Bella wrestled with a large buck. At a certain point, I became aware that she had stopped to watch me instead of bringing down another deer herself. She had an odd expression on her face, partly some kind of..._admiration _or pride, and partly...well, I had seen that look earlier. I tried not to gloat or break into the aforementioned happy dance as I turned my gaze to meet hers. "No longer thirsty?"

She shrugged. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am."

"Centuries of practice," I shrugged in return. Already I felt much better physically than I had twenty minutes before. I had needed to hunt more than I had allowed myself to think about.

"Just one," she corrected teasingly.

I laughed. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?"

She appeared to consider that for a moment. "Done, I think." She hesitated again briefly. "I want to see Renesmee."

Her expression was a mixture of longing and trepidation, both of which I could completely understand given the fact that she had not seen our daughter since her birth and was likely nervous about her own ability to control herself around someone with a beating heart. I reached a hand out to comfort her and she took it without hesitation, floating to my side and lifting her free hand to my face, stroking my features again lightly as if she were seeing me for the first time. Although red, her eyes were soft, full of affection I hadn't expected to see there for many months.

Slowly, carefully, mindful of her new strength, she stretched up on her toes and wrapped her arms around me.

Fortunately, for once I was not the one who needed to be careful. I decided to take full advantage of that fact, and locked my own arms around her waist, pulling her body tightly against mine. I breathed deeply of her new scent, still the same as her human scent but somehow enhanced, like the rest of her, and crushed my lips down to hers. I savoured their very substantiality, the fact that they didn't simply shape themselves to mine but could now hold their own, and return the passion that I could finally express without restraint. I took her bottom lip between mine and sucked a little, then did the same thing with the top. She panted breathlessly, giving me the opportunity to slide the tip of my tongue into her mouth. She met it with her own in an instant, pushing back against mine so that she could enter my mouth, for the first time able to do so without worrying about my teeth or my venom. I gasped at the sensation of our tongues moving against each other and somehow pulled her even more tightly against me, pressing my chest against her breasts and my hips roughly into hers.

I felt her hands slide from their place around my neck, one upward to tangle in my hair, the other down to where our chests pressed together, squeezing and tracing the muscle there as though she had never felt it before. In a sense, I supposed, she really was feeling all of this for the first time, just as I was, enjoying the feeling of her in my arms as my equal, and not as a glass figurine I had to be ever so careful not to shatter with the slightest wrong touch. I was starting to lose myself in my need for her, feeling myself harden against her as I seriously contemplated reaching under her dress to yank off whatever Alice might have put her in for panties. I suspected that it would be something delicate and lacy, and the idea made me want to yank them off even more.

Bella's hand curled into the fabric of my shirt. I started to wonder—_hope_, if I were to be completely honest—that that meant she was about to tear it off, but suddenly we were falling over. In her enthusiasm and need to get closer, she had inadvertently pushed me off my feet and then fell with me, both of us landing on the forest floor with a thud.

She looked sheepish as I laughed. "Oops. I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath and reached out to stroke her cheek with the back of my hand, gathering my wits back about me. "Slightly better than _okay_." Two seconds ago I had been more than ready and willing to re-consummate our marriage against the nearest tree trunk, but now that I knew we had this, that her body would react to me as it always had—perhaps even _more_—I was torn by the desire to savour it instead, later, in a more appropriate location.

Plus, there were still other matters to attend to. "Renesmee?"

She contemplated the choice I was putting before her quickly. I could see from her eyes that she was torn, too, but in the end, responsibility won out. "Renesmee," she agreed with only the slightest note of regret in her voice. She stood quickly, and reached to pull me up with her. When I was beside her again I slipped an arm back around her waist and pulled her against me, burying my nose in her hair as I kissed her scalp, wanting her to know that we would come back to this later.

Soon. But later.

She looked up at me with a smile of understanding, and kissed the side of my neck softly before turning toward home, her fingers interlocking with mine.


	23. Chapter 23: Promised

"Tell me about her," Bella said as we began the run towards home, fingers intertwined.

I smiled at the thought of our incredible, unique baby daughter, so much more than my wildest dreams could ever have been. "She's like nothing else in the world."

"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway," she demanded.

"It seems a fairly even divide."

"She was warm-blooded."

"Yes. She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little bit faster than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too. She sleeps."

"Really?"

I chuckled. "Quite well for a newborn. The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night." I savoured the way the words _our child_ rolled off my tongue. The fact that I had never expected to be able to say them made them that much more significant to me. It connected Bella and me all over again.

"She has exactly your colour eyes—so that didn't get lost, after all," I continued, smiling. "They're so beautiful."

"And the vampire parts?" she asked.

"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that."

She blinked at me, obviously shocked at the very idea.

"Of course no one would," I assured her again. What else could I tell her? "Her diet...well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, too, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I blame her—nasty-smelling stuff, even for human food." I smiled a little at the memory of the last time Carlisle had handed her a bottle of formula, her little face screwed up in distaste, her lips clamped together in refusal to drink.

Now Bella was staring at me in shock. "Persuade her?" she repeated.

"She's intelligent, shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace," I tried to explain. "Though she doesn't speak—yet—she communicates quite effectively."

"Doesn't. Speak. _Yet_."

I slowed our pace so that Bella could absorb what I was telling her. It had all become so obvious to me and the rest of the family in the three days of Renesmee's life, but of course it was news to her.

"What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" she demanded.

I hesitated. "I think it will be easier for you to...see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe." It was indeed difficult to describe, but it was more difficult to believe. I wanted Bella to experience the surprise and the sheer delight of it herself, the way we had.

She sighed thoughtfully. "Why is Jacob still here? How can he stand it? Why should he?" I hated the concern in her voice, even now, and especially in the circumstances. "Why should he have to suffer more?"

I almost snorted at that. "Jacob isn't suffering." I clenched my teeth at the thought of exactly what Jacob _was_ doing—mooning over my infant daughter. Oh, how I was looking forward to Bella's reaction to _that_ piece of news. "Though I might be willing to change his condition," I muttered.

"Edward!" she admonished. She stopped short and yanked my hand so that I stopped, too. "How can you say that? Jacob has given up _everything_ to protect us! What I've put him through—"

_Everything_? I thought bitterly. Well, maybe so, but now he wanted _everything_ in return. But it wasn't my story to tell. He had asked me to let him be the one to deliver the news to Bella. "You'll see exactly how I can say that," I said finally. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do." I hesitated again, gazing at her. Or would she? Sometimes there was no telling with Bella. "Of course, I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?"

"Explain what?"

I shook my head. "I promised. Though I don't know if I really owe him anything at all anymore..." He hadn't succeeded in taking my wife, but now he wanted my daughter. It seemed more than even recompense for the difficulties he had had with his pack on our behalf.

"Edward, I don't understand," she said, clearly frustrated.

I reached up to stroke her cheek gently, hoping to relax her. I remembered how hard managing emotions was for a newborn. Her frown smoothed almost instantly at my touch, and I heard her breath catch in her throat the way it had earlier. A newborn's emotions shifted with lightning speed, too. "It's harder than you make it look, I know. I remember," I murmured, hoping I sounded soothing.

"I don't like feeling confused."

"I know. And so let's get you home, so that you can see it all for yourself." I gazed at her a moment, realizing for the first time that she was practically indecent now that the mountain lion had further shredded her dress. I certainly didn't mind the view, but I wasn't prepared to share it with our family or with Jacob Black—no matter how much his interests may have shifted. "Hmm." I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and held it out for her to put on over her dress.

"That bad?" she asked, brow again creasing into a frown as she looked down at her tattered garment. I simply grinned in response, and she slipped the shirt on, buttoning it swiftly.

With no small amount of satisfaction, I heard her suck in another ragged breath as she took in my appearance, now without a shirt. She struggled momentarily to get her reaction under control, then changed the subject. "I'll race you. No throwing the game this time!"

I let go of her hand and grinned again. "On your mark..."

We set off into the trees at a blistering pace. I wouldn't let her win this time, but I didn't let myself get more than about ten feet in front of her, either, in case we ran into another unexpected scent in the forest. She managed to pull ahead on her own at the end, though, by using her extra strength to leap over the river with one large stride. "Ha!" she cried as she landed on the other side, delighted by her ostensible victory.

I was about to say something teasing as I made my own leap and landed next to her, but was immediately distracted. _Edward? I'm out here on the lawn with Seth and Leah. Me first before Renesmee, just like we discussed._

Bella had frozen, likely at either the scent or the sound of heartbeats. I clamped my hands down on the tops of her arms to hold her in place. "Don't breathe."

Her eyes darted around, searching for the source of whatever she was sensing.

Jacob stood about twenty yards before us, at the edge of the front lawn where it blended into the forest. He had his arms folded across his chest, his body rigid and ready to spring into action. I couldn't see Seth or Leah, but heard the sound of paws pacing in the trees behind him. Their thoughts were tense, watchful.

"Carefully, Jacob," I said, feeling Bella tense further under my hands. If she really lost control I wasn't sure of my ability to restrain her on my own. It was probably a good thing that Seth and Leah were as close as they were, in wolf form, prepared to intervene if need be. Leah snarled, unnecessarily reminding us she was there. "Maybe this isn't the best way—"

"You think it would be better to let her near the baby first?" he interrupted. "It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast."

His defensiveness of Renesmee irritated me—as though that were _his_ job and not mine. Why did it always seem as though there were no boundaries he wouldn't cross? Fine, then. He wanted to take this on—I would let him. "It's your neck, I guess," I shrugged, unable to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

Leah growled again but remained hidden in the trees.

For a long moment, Bella stared from my face to Jacob's. I assumed that she was trying to figure out what was going on between us, what had happened while she had been unconscious the past few days. Jacob ignored me and focused on her, watching, waiting for a sign that she was a danger, and carefully taking in her new appearance. He was startled by the redness of her eyes, but was equally startled by how much she still seemed the same. She was still Bella—just _enhanced_. He noted each of the changes in her hair, skin and body, but he was cataloguing them almost scientifically. For the first time I had been in both his and Bella's presence at the same time, he wasn't looking at her with desire and longing. To the contrary, he was simply observing her...as a _friend_. The complete change was rather surprising.

But I was still glad she was covered by my shirt.

Eventually, Jacob broke into a smile. He hadn't seen her so much as flinch, and was becoming confident that she wouldn't attack him.

I still wasn't quite sure. And there was still the matter of his _news_ to deliver.

"I gotta say it, Bells," he said finally, grinning and shuddering at the same time. "You're a freak show."

He meant it as a joke, but there was an undercurrent of truth to it. Although he could think of her solely as a friend now, he couldn't help hating the fact that she was a vampire. That she was now more like me than she was like him. "Watch yourself, mongrel," I growled under my breath, taking umbrage at the insult.

"No, he's right," Bella said. She took advantage of a change in the wind's direction to suck in a breath. "The eyes are really something, aren't they?"

"Super-creepy," he chuckled. "But it's not as bad as I thought it would be." I couldn't help a frown at the knowledge that his acceptance was informed by the fact that the new object of his deepest love and affection—_my daughter_—was half-vampire.

"Gee—thanks for the amazing compliment!" Bella smiled.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You still look like you—sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as...you _are_ Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He smiled and then chuckled again. "Anyway, I guess I'll get used to the eyes soon enough."

"You will?" She was visibly surprised by his words, that they implied he intended to remain a part of her life. For someone so deeply loved by so many, she found it so easy to underestimate the depth of the affection that was held for her.

Jacob immediately felt guilty, that he had led her to believe he would abandon her once she was changed. But he also felt guilty for the secret he was currently hiding from her about Renesmee. He could tell from her reaction that I had not told her.

"Thanks," he murmured in my direction. "I didn't know if you'd be able to keep it from her, promise or not. Usually, you just give her everything she wants."

_Yes, that's right, Jacob Black. You know _everything_ about our relationship_, I thought, annoyed. "Maybe I'm hoping she'll get irritated and rip your head off."

He snorted at the idea.

"What's going on?" Bella demanded suddenly. "Are you two keeping secrets from me?"

"I'll explain later," Jacob said, unwilling to distract Bella from the experiment he still wanted to conduct before she was allowed near Renesmee. He was more than happy to put off that discussion and her anticipated reaction, too. "First, let's get this show on the road."

He stepped forward slowly. _Jacob!_ Leah thought protectively, whining as she stepped out from the cover of the trees. Seth's large and furry form followed directly behind. For whatever reason, he had more faith in Bella's ability to control herself than any of us, but he still wasn't willing to chance it.

"Cool it, guys," Jacob said softly, without turning to look at them. "Stay out of this." He continued forward, the huge wolves maintaining a distance but still following behind. He finally got close enough that I could feel the heat of his body in the air, and knew Bella would, too. The scent of even his dog's blood caused my throat to burn—I could only imagine how hers felt.

"C'mon, Bells. Do your worst," he teased uncertainly. Leah hissed and Bella continued to hold her breath. "I'm getting older here, Bella. Okay, not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff."

"Hold on to me," she said, cringing back into my chest. I tightened my grip on her despite the morbid part of myself that would enjoy watching her rip Jacob Black to pieces. The grief and regret she would experience over it later wasn't worth it.

I heard her sniff delicately through her nose. The scent wasn't exactly human, certainly not as appealing to our kind as the hikers in the forest had been, but I knew it would still have its temptation, especially to her newborn senses. To my surprise, however, she took another, deeper breath and then noticeably relaxed. "Huh," she said finally. "I can see what everyone's been going on about. You stink, Jacob."

I burst out laughing, slipping my hands from her shoulders to wrap my arms around her waist, hugging her against me. Seth also let out a sound that was between a bark and a canine sort of laugh, stepping forward just as his sister moved further away.

"Look who's talking," Jacob retorted jokingly, making a show of plugging his nose. He even kept grinning when I gave Bella another squeeze, murmuring, "I love you" into her ear. He was simply... _pleased _at her reaction, at the fact that she could be that close and resist the urge to drain his blood from his body.

"Okay, so I passed, right?" she asked. "Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?"

The delighted grin on Jacob's face melted into a nervous smile. This part of the test had gone well, but when she heard about the imprinting...he wasn't sure she'd be as easy-going. Neither was I. "It's nothing you need to worry about this second..." he started to say, and we heard a chortle of anticipation from inside the house. The family had been watching this exchange, and Emmett in particular loved the idea of a confrontation. He was practically giggling with excitement despite the fact that he'd have to jump into the fray if Bella snapped—perhaps _because_ he'd have to jump into the fray if Bella snapped. He found the idea of wrestling with Bella far too entertaining.

Distracted from Jacob by the sound from the house, Bella turned in that direction, her face set in concentration. She was listening intently, no doubt picking up the sound of the fourth heartbeat in the vicinity: Renesmee's.

"Renesmee," she whispered, her body going rigid once again.

She was afraid, but after all I had seen today, I had confidence. She had been able to run from the scent of perfect strangers in the forest; it should be comparatively easy to avoid giving in to any urge she might have to harm her half-human daughter. And inside, there were seven of us to protect her from any misstep. "Come and see," I murmured in her ear. "I know you can handle this."

"You'll help me?" she asked, anxious, her voice still a whisper.

"Of course I will."

"And Emmett and Jasper—just in case?"

_We're ready, willing and waiting, Edward!_ Emmett thought enthusiastically. _Bring on our little sister!_

"We'll take care of you, Bella. Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what." Rosalie, I knew, was the one inside the house with Renesmee in her arms at the moment. She'd see herself ripped limb from limb before anyone had the chance to get within a hair's breadth of harming her niece.

Bella took a step toward the house, but Jacob suddenly placed himself in her way. "Are you _sure_, bloodsucker?" he demanded, but it was worry that infused his tone. "I don't like this. Maybe she should wait—"

"You had your test, Jacob."

"But—"

"But nothing," I interrupted, now about fed up with his interference. "Bella needs to see _our _daughter. Get out of her way."

He shot Bella another worried look, then turned on his heel and darted into the house, determined to beat us there and place himself in a defensive position in front of Renesmee. I couldn't restrain a growl at his presumptuousness.

I forced myself to shake it off and reached for Bella's hand. "Shall we?" I asked her gently. She looked nervous but nodded in the affirmative.

When we got inside, we found the family gathered near the front door, loosely arranged in a line with Rosalie behind them. Jacob strode up and stood just in front of her, adding another line of defence between Bella and Renesmee. Everyone except Jacob and Rosalie was smiling at us, hopeful but nervous. They hadn't witnessed what I had in the forest, and weren't nearly as confident about Bella's ability to restrain herself as I was. Both Jasper and Emmett stood on the balls of their feet, ready to spring forward in an instant. Jacob and Rosalie were even more anxious, not to mention repulsed by one another.

_Daddy?_ My silent heart soared as always at Renesmee's mute call. She was confused, unsure why everyone was standing up and staring at the same thing at the same time, but knew my scent well enough to know that I had returned to the house. She craned herself forward to see from her position in Rosalie's arms, peering around Jacob. Her eyes fell on my face for an instant, then shifted to Bella's.

Bella gasped. "I was out just two days?"

_Mommy! _

I could imagine was Bella was seeing: a baby who was already almost twice the size she had been when she was born a mere few days ago, already able to support her own head and body, already with a full head of bronze-coloured ringlets falling past her shoulders, already aware enough to be cognizant of her surroundings and recognize her mother...already able to stretch forward and reach a hand in Bella's direction. Quickly, Renesmee turned back to place a hand on Rosalie, conveying the silent demand that Rosalie confirm Bella was indeed her mother and put her in Bella's arms immediately.

Bella was still staring at Renesmee. I could imagine that she was assessing Renesmee's physical characteristics, finding clear reflections of both of us in her eyes, hair, facial features and skin tone. The family resemblance was more than obvious.

Rosalie reached up to pat the tiny hand that pressed against her throat. "Yes, that's her."

For a seemingly long moment, Renesmee continued to stare at Bella as Bella stared at her. Then...she broke into a wide smile.

Suddenly, Bella took a hesitant step forward. Emmett and Jasper reacted in less than the blink of an eye, appearing directly in front of us, shoulder to shoulder, hands raised and ready to grab onto her if need be. I clutched her tightly by the upper arms, watching as the rest of our family also repositioned themselves in a tighter defensive form. Rosalie had taken a few steps backwards, and Jacob stepped directly in front of her, maintaining his protective stance.

Only Alice hadn't moved. She rolled her eyes at all of us. "Oh, give her some credit. She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too."

Bella seemed to be taking stock of herself, assessing her own state of mind and state of resistance. After a few seconds, she patted one of my hands. "I'm okay. Keep close, though, just in case."

Jasper's eyes narrowed as he focused on her, assessing her emotions while simultaneously emanating a wave of calm. _She seems okay, Edward...but I don't know. It seems too good to be true._ I knew what he meant, but I was the one who had witnessed her behaviour first-hand in the forest – behaviour the rest of the family still didn't know about. I slowly released my hold on Bella's arms.

Renesmee was squirming now, reaching once again in Bella's direction, this time with both arms extended. _Mommy!_

I was satisfied. Bella would be fine with this.

"Jazz, Em, let us through. Bella's got this."

"Edward, the risk--," Jasper began.

"Minimal," I interrupted. "Listen, Jasper—on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time..."

Everyone misunderstood immediately._ What!? She harmed someone? _ Carlisle sucked in a shocked breath. Jasper's eyes widened, but he wasn't surprised in the least. Jacob made a face at the idea of Bella attacking and draining a couple of humans.

Before I could explain that they were assuming incorrectly, Carlisle spoke aloud. "Edward! How could you be so irresponsible?"

I flinched at his reprimand, but despite the fact no harm had been done I knew I deserved it. "I know, Carlisle, I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose." I had been too distracted by her appearance, her grace, her ability to keep up with me while I ran. I had truly been careless, and there was no good excuse for it.

"Edward," Bella murmured uncomfortably.

I smiled at her to reassure her despite my blunder. "He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella. I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Tasteful joke, Edward." She hadn't jumped to the immediate conclusion Bella had attacked the humans as everyone else had, but she took my words now to imply that Bella had made quick work of them.

"I wasn't making a joke," I said rapidly. "I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

_What?_ "Wait," Jasper gasped aloud. "She didn't hunt the humans?" _Impossible!_

"She started to." I couldn't restrain a smile of pride now as I explained Bella's extraordinary display of control. "She was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle demanded, but his face was slowly breaking into a smile of amazement.

"She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything to equal her. She realized at once what was happening, and then..." I paused for dramatic effect, enjoying the telling of this story about my incredible wife. "..._she held her breath and ran away._"

Emmett's eyes widened. "Whoa. Seriously?"

Bella looked embarrassed, as usual, at being the center of attention, the object of the entire family's amazed stares. "He's not telling it right," she said quietly. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

_Hot!_ Emmett grinned and I rolled my eyes. "Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" he demanded eagerly. Now he was curious about the state of Bella's dress and wondered if we had shredded it in some kind of kinky forest-floor wrestling match.

"No! Of course not!" she replied, horrified at the thought.

"No, not really? You really didn't attack him?"

"Emmett!" she protested. I couldn't help the reflexive habit of glancing at her to enjoy the sight of the inevitable blush I expected to see creeping over her cheeks. There was no blush, of course, but her facial expression was the same as it would have been when she was still human: uncomfortable embarrassment.

"Aw, what a waste," Emmett groaned, disappointed. "And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get in your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." He sighed. "I've been _dying_ to see how he'd do without that advantage."

I grinned at my brother. Guess he'd just have to keep waiting to find out.

Bella still looked horrified at the idea. "I would never."

Jasper was staring at Bella with a frown, still trying to process the fact that she hadn't killed those humans. In all his many decades of experience with newborns, he'd never even heard of such a thing, much less seen it for himself. He was having difficulty believing it.

I tapped his shoulder with a fist in a friendly gesture of reassurance. "You see what I mean?"

Jasper's frown only deepened. "It's not natural."

Esme looked at me, her face etched with motherly concern. "She could have turned on you—she's only hours old! Oh, we should have gone with you." _I'm so sorry, Edward_, she added silently, unnecessarily.

I was about to respond, but noticed that Bella and Renesmee were now staring at each other again, each with an expression of longing. _Mommy! _Little dimpled hands were reaching out to Bella, and Bella lifted one of hers in response.

"Edward," she murmured softly, trying to peer around Jasper's body. "Please?"

Jasper's jaw clenched. He still wasn't convinced and didn't move out of her way.

Alice spoke up. "Jazz, this isn't anything you've seen before. Trust me." Jasper glanced in her direction and met her eyes for a brief moment. He finally nodded. Although he took a step away, he fell in behind Bella and placed a hand on her shoulder, walking with her as she slowly stepped toward Renesmee.

She moved carefully, no doubt conscious of the need to monitor her own reactions so that she didn't place our daughter in jeopardy. It took several long moments before she was within a few feet of where Rosalie stood with Renesmee squirming impatiently in her arms.

Finally, Renesmee had had enough. As she thought one last _MOMMY!_ she opened her mouth and let out a high, ringing wail.

We all reacted in shock, stepping forward _en masse_ to see what was wrong. With a more direct method of communication available to her, we had actually never heard Renesmee cry before...and the sound struck me like a dagger directly through the heart. It was the same reaction I had had hearing Bella cry out in pain in the ballet studio in Phoenix, my immediate impulse to do something, anything to make it stop.

"What's the matter?"

"Is she hurt?"

"What happened?"

Everyone's voices overlapped, everyone reaching out at the same time to pat the small child soothingly. I was about to reach for her but Jacob Black beat me to it, and Rosalie handed her to him without protest. I felt a faint twinge of annoyance, but it was far outweighed by the need to find out why my daughter was in distress.

"No, she's fine," Rosalie said, directing her response at Jacob, who had been the loudest in expressing his concern.

Renesmee pressed a hand to Jacob's cheek quickly, then reached around to stretch toward Bella once again. _Mommy!_

Of course. If I had taken a moment to listen instead of simply react to Renesmee's cry, I would have realized what the problem was immediately. I felt guilty, both for my failure to recognize what Renesmee wanted, and for the fact that when we had all swarmed around Renesmee, we had left Bella out, standing behind us, simply watching us helplessly.

"See?" Rosalie was saying now. "She just wants Bella."

"She wants me?" Bella whispered uncertainly.

I stepped back to Bella's side, cursing myself for reacting without thinking and especially for leaving Bella that way. I placed my hands on her arms lightly this time and urged her forward, toward our daughter. "She's been waiting for you for almost three days."

Jacob was visibly nervous as Bella approached him. _Keep your hands on her, bloodsucker...stay ready..._he warned me unnecessarily.

Bella sensed his uneasiness. "Jake—I'm fine."

Renesmee stretched forward even further, arms still out, tiny hands repeatedly curling into fists and uncurling in her eagerness. Bella closed the remaining distance without hesitation and reached for the small child, pulling her towards her own chest as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Jacob allowed Bella to take her but didn't remove his own arms. The result was that he was still holding Renesmee at the same time Bella did.

A violent impulse ripped through me, surprising me with its force and its suddenness. It was the sight in front of me: Bella, with our daughter in her arms as she should be...but with _Jacob Black_ cradling her simultaneously, as though _he_ were her other parent. As though _he_ were the one who should be sharing this moment with Bella.

I heard Alice gasp very softly at my side. She reached out to place a hand on my forearm just as Jasper sent out an explosive wave of calm, directed solely at me, to keep me from reacting to what must have been very apparent from my face and my sudden change in mood.

I struggled for a few seconds, forcing back the urge to tear Jacob's arms from their sockets once and for all. I wouldn't ruin this moment for either Bella or Renesmee. It was about them and not this _dog's_ continual presumptuousness. Ripping out his throat would only scare and shock them both.

I focused on Bella's face instead, and Renesmee's thoughts. She was smiling at Bella again, and reached out a small palm to place on her mother's cheek.

It was an odd moment for me as I saw from Renesmee's mind the thoughts and images she was transmitting to her mother—meaning that for that single moment, I knew what was in Bella's mind as well. Silent to me for so long, it was almost as though her mind were suddenly open. I listened and watched, overwhelmed as Renesmee showed Bella her last memory of her: Bella's face twisted with pain, covered in sweat and blood, eyes struggling to focus as I placed Renesmee on her chest mere seconds after she had been born.

Just as quickly, the image was gone. Renesmee had dropped her palm from its place on Bella's cheek and now simply smiled again, showing off the dimples in her chubby cheeks.

Everyone was quiet as we waited for Bella to react.

"What...was..._that?_" she finally managed to choke out.

"What did you see?" Rosalie was the first to ask. "What did she show you?"

"_She_ showed me that?" Bella whispered, stunned.

"I told you it was hard to explain," I murmured, leaning close to her ear. "But effective as means of communications go." Almost as suddenly as the rage at Jacob had overtaken me a few moments before, now I was awash with a feeling of intimacy and connectedness with my wife. For those short seconds, I had almost been inside her mind. I hadn't realized how much it would mean to me.

"What was it?" Jacob asked. I realized that he was more interested in the answer to that question from Renesmee's perspective, what she had chosen to tell her mother for the first time—rather than in Bella's reaction to it. The change in his focus still surprised me.

Bella blinked, trying to articulate it. "Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible."

"It was the only memory she had of you," I explained quietly. While Renesmee had certainly gazed at her mother's unconscious form from my arms while I waited for Bella to get through the transformation, those moments following her birth were the only memories she had of her mother aware of her presence, looking at her and smiling back at her. The vision made me cringe a little—I couldn't wait for Renesmee to replace those memories with something far more pleasant than those moments had been.

I continued. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are."

Bella gazed down at Renesmee, clearly still stunned. Renesmee had reached out to take a lock of Bella's long chestnut hair in her tiny fist. "But _how_ did she do that?"

"How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future?" I shrugged. "She's gifted."

"It's an interesting twist," Carlisle said, more to me than to Bella. "Like she's doing the exact opposite of what you can."

"Interesting," I agreed. "I wonder..." _I know. Me too. What is the opposite of what Bella can do? _Carlisle mused silently. It wasn't clear yet what Bella's "talent" was, if anything...except that she was still somehow able to block me from hearing her thoughts. Was there anything apparent about Renesmee that was a mirror image of _that?_

I was distracted by Bella's voice, now murmuring quietly to Renesmee. "I remember you, too." She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to the child's forehead. My dead heart swelled at the sight.

_Careful..._Jasper had sucked in an anxious breath at the proximity of Bella's mouth and nose to Renesmee's flesh. "She's fine," Alice murmured reassuringly, as though she had heard his thought herself.

Jacob's voice interrupted the moment. "Haven't we experimented enough for one day? Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it." His voice was laden with concern for Renesmee. I supposed I had to appreciate it despite the pervading sense of irritation I still felt where he was concerned.

It was Bella, however, who finally seemed to have had enough of him. Her eyes narrowed with a deadly glare in his direction, a look I never thought I would see her cast his way. "What is your _problem_, Jacob?" she snapped, tugging Renesmee to try and extricate her from the hold he still had on her small body. Instead of taking the hint and releasing her to Bella, Jacob merely tightened his hold and stepped closer so that Renesmee was pressed between Bella's chest and his.

That was the last straw. The presumptuousness had been tolerated long enough. "Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob," I hissed, my voice low. "Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her."

Although she had put up with him well until now, Rosalie was more than ready to back me up. "I'll help him toss you, dog," she growled. "I owe you a good kick in the gut."

Bella was still glaring at Jacob. I could only assume that she was still trying to figure out why he was so concerned about a half-vampire child, why he was still around now that she was herself a vampire. He was aware of her eyes on him, but his concern was Renesmee, and his own eyes were trained on her face, gazing at her in the reverent way he had been gazing at her the past several days. His thoughts were focused on her, whether she was really safe in Bella's arms, whether the family of vampires would do a good enough job of protecting her.

I was again irritated at the implication we _wouldn't_, and was about to open my mouth to tell him he'd worn out his welcome.

It was Bella's sharp gasp that prevented me from getting the words out. "_No!_" Her entire body went rigid in shock and anger. I heard Jasper's teeth snap closed and wrapped my arms tightly around her chest, guessing at what made her react so strongly so suddenly—at what she had likely just realized. Jacob's expression was too adoring, his concern too deep to be simply the concern of a good friend. And Bella was perceptive.

Whether he recognized the signs that Bella had figured out his secret or not, Jacob responded to her sudden tension and aggression by yanking Renesmee out of her arms. Bella didn't fight him. She seemed at the edge of her self-control.

"Rose," she said slowly, through a tightly clenched jaw. "Take Renesmee."

Rosalie quickly stepped forward and Jacob relinquished Renesmee to her without hesitation. Then both he and Rosalie took a few steps back.

"Edward," Bella said next, "I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me."

I hesitated. I was torn between two competing impulses. On the one hand, I was tempted to let Bella express the _displeasure_ I knew was headed Jacob Black's way, to let her surrender to her own anger and tear his head clean off if she wanted to, the way _I_ had wanted to when I first found out he had imprinted on my infant child.

But on the other hand, I knew that once she calmed down, she would regret it if she killed him.

Wouldn't she?

_I _certainly wouldn't.

"Go stand in front of Renesmee," she suggested when she noted my hesitation.

My decision was made. No doubt it was selfish, but I was prepared to let the chips fall where they may, and let Jacob deal with the consequences of what had happened. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that he would have done the same to me and enjoyed every last moment of it. He would probably stand on the sidelines cheering as she tore me limb from limb.

I didn't owe him any better. At least not now.

With that, I let her go.

Immediately, she leaned into a hunting crouch and took two slow steps toward Jacob. She looked positively feral, no different than James or Victoria or any of the newborns had during our battles with them. "You didn't," she snarled.

Jacob backed away, palms up in a gesture of surrender. "You know it's not something I can control."

"You _stupid mutt!_" I raised my eyebrows, a little surprised at her use of such a derogatory term for her putative best friend. "How _could_ you? My _baby!_" she demanded, her voice almost a shriek.

He had backed so far away that he was now at the front door, shuffling quickly backward down the stairs. She followed after him, still in a crouch. "It wasn't my idea, Bella!" he protested.

"I've held her all of _one_ time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her? She's _mine_."

I followed at a few paces' distance, and suppressed the urge to do a little cheering from the sidelines myself. I would maintain a little more decorum than Jacob Black would have if the tables were turned.

"I can share," he said pleadingly, now scurrying across the lawn.

"Pay up," Emmett muttered quietly to Jasper from the doorway. While the rest of the family except for Rosalie and Renesmee had trailed along to watch Bella and Jacob, no one was inclined to intervene, at least not yet. Surprisingly, that even included Carlisle.

Bella's fury seemed to be building. "How dare you _imprint_ on my baby? Have you lost your mind?"

Jacob was still backing up, toward the trees where Seth and Leah remained waiting for him in wolf form. "It was involuntary!" he insisted, and was relieved when Seth and Leah stepped forward to take his flanks. When Leah snapped at Bella, I flew to her side, Emmett and Jasper only half a step behind me.

Bella, however, was unphased. A vicious snarl ripped through her body, from the depths of her chest and through her still-clenched jaw. She didn't even seem aware that Emmett, Jasper and I were now beside her.

"Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please?" he begged. "Leah, back off," he added, without moving his eyes from Bella's. Leah's teeth remained bared in a snarl of her own, but she stayed in place.

"Why should I listen?" Bella hissed.

"Because you're the one who told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So...now we are. It's what you wanted."

_He's gotta be _kidding_!_ Emmett thought incredulously. _He thinks _that's_ a good explanation? What an idiot!_

As predicted, Bella was not inclined to simply accept that. "You think you'll be part of my family as my _son-in-law_!" she screeched. Emmett laughed.

"Stop her, Edward," Esme murmured from behind us. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him."

Part of me knew that to be true, but the other part now had to wonder. Even I hadn't expected quite this level of fury...but it hadn't escaped my notice, either, that despite her rage she still had enough control over herself not to have torn him to pieces five minutes ago. Even in these circumstances, she still somehow had a tighter reign over her emotions than any newborn could expect.

"No!" Jacob exclaimed at the same time. "How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!"

"That's my _point_!" she yelled.

"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did?" He had a point there. It was only the pureness of his thoughts that had kept me from killing him myself. "All I want is for her to be safe and happy—is that so bad?" he continued, his voice still pleading. "So different from what you want?"

Bella merely growled in response, but still made no move to actually attack him. I was starting to think that if she hadn't yet, she wouldn't...despite her anger. The _Bella_ in her wouldn't allow her to harm someone whom, fundamentally, she still loved.

Carlisle was equally astonished by this display of her control, marvelling silently as he watched these events unfold before him. He wouldn't tolerate violence or an actual breach of the treaty with the Quileutes, so he was prepared to intervene—he just didn't think it was necessary.

"Amazing, isn't she?" I murmured.

"She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle replied out loud, sounding stunned.

Emmett grunted at Jasper. "Fine, you win this one," he muttered under his breath.

"You're going to stay away from her," Bella was hissing, still glaring at Jacob through narrow eyes.

"I can't do that!" he exclaimed, appalled at the idea.

"_Try_. Starting _now_," she growled, teeth pressed tightly together.

"It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?" Jacob asked a little desperately. She simply glared at him. "That was her," he continued. "From the very beginning. We had to be together, even then."

I was startled to hear this. Even in his thoughts, he hadn't articulated it this way before. His inexplicable draw to Bella during her pregnancy...and perhaps even before? Could this possibly be the reason for all of it? Right down to his inability to let go of her even when she chose me, even once she was actually married to me?

That was certainly food for thought. I looked at Jacob with wide eyes. It cast the history among the three of us in an entirely new light.

Bella had hesitated long enough to absorb these words herself, but her anger hadn't dissipated. "Run away while you still can," she muttered simply.

"C'mon, Bells! Nessie likes me, too," he insisted.

Bella froze and stopped breathing. I could feel my own body tense at the tension that was rolling off hers. Was she finally going to snap? Why now? Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle all stepped forward quietly, ready but waiting.

Finally Bella spoke again, her voice so low it would have been inaudible to humans. "_What_...did you call her?"

I almost chuckled. It was the nickname—the silly nickname Jacob had given Renesmee. That _that_ was the thing that might finally send Bella over the edge was so peculiar it was amusing.

Jacob took another step back and looked sheepish. "Well," he murmured, "that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—"

"You nicknamed my daughter after the _Loch Ness Monster_?" Bella screeched, then finally lunged for his throat.


	24. Chapter 24: Memories

_**A/N: Sorry for the extreme delay in updating, to any of you who may have been waiting. (I hate waiting for updates!) I was suffering an extreme form of writer's block. Seems to be going around these days….**_

* * *

Everything happened within thirty seconds at the most, but time seemed to slow down as I watched it all unfold before me. It was as though I were a mere spectator and not a participant.

When Bella lunged, Jacob's body reacted automatically to the threat and started to shimmer, the beginning of his phase into wolf form. Instantly, however, he braced himself against it, willing himself to remain human, partly because he didn't want to hurt her, and partly because he seemed to recognize that in the circumstances he deserved her wrath, whether what had happened with Renesmee was within his control or not.

The wolf that was Leah growled in alarm, but Seth was closer. Without even a fraction of a second's thought for his own safety, he threw himself in between Bella and his pack leader, not making an attempt to attack her but simply blocking her from her target with his own body. Her stone shoulder collided with his massive, furry one, and bones cracked loudly before he fell to the lawn in pain.

Seth's interference had slowed Bella's advance on Jacob enough that Jacob was able to take a few stumbling steps backward in Leah's direction. She leapt forward and crouched into a defensive pose, lips curled back in a snarl. Bella ignored her, eyes still narrowed in anger, intent on Jacob.

"Grab her, Edward!" a voice shouted from behind me, mobilizing me from where I had frozen, shocked by the suddenness of Bella's attack. I shot out a hand and seized Bella's arm. She was just about to twist out of my grasp when two more pairs of hands clamped down on her, one pair on each of her arms. She thrashed against them, eyes still fixated on Jacob, but between the two of them, Jasper and Emmett were able to restrain her enough that I could step forward and circle my arms around her waist.

"Bella! Stop!" I muttered urgently in her ear. "That's your friend, your friend, Jacob. You'll regret it if you hurt him. You may not think so right now, but you will later. You know you will!" A not inconsequential part of me rebelled against speaking the words, sadistically hoping for the chance to enjoy the sight of Bella ridding me of Jacob Black once and for all. The dominant part, however, knew that what I said was true. She would never forgive herself, and I was motivated above all by the need to spare her that pain.

"Jacob! You need to get out of here!" Carlisle shouted. He had somehow materialized unnoticed behind Jasper and Emmett, and was crouching on the ground now in front of us and next to Seth, who remained in wolf form, whimpering and shaking in pain.

"Go, Jacob!" Jasper echoed, simultaneously emanating the largest wave of calm he could muster, hoping he could settle Bella down. "I don't know if we can hold her. Run!" Leah growled, seconding that sentiment.

"But...Ness—Renesmee..." Jacob breathed, his eyes wide as he watched Bella struggle against three of us, her face still contorted in uncharacteristic rage.

"She's with Rosalie. She's perfectly safe, Jacob!" Carlisle glanced up but quickly returned his attention to Seth. "Seth, you're going to have to phase back so I can set these bones before they heal. I can't do it with you in this form—I'm not a vet."

_For God's sake, he's not going to leave! _ Jasper threw out another wave of calm, forcing himself to suppress his irritation with Jacob so that it didn't spill over and further inflame Bella's fury. "Let's get her in the house, Edward," he said out loud. "Emmett, help Carlisle with Seth."

"But Renesmee's in the house!" Jacob objected, stupidly earning himself a snarl from Bella and redoubled efforts to get out of our grasp. All three of us tightened our hold on her. Her newborn strength was enhanced by her strong emotions, requiring significant effort on our part to keep her from breaking free. It was astonishing that the snarling, thrashing creature in my arms was _my_ Bella, fighting me with all she had so that she could tear apart her best friend.

I couldn't help but find Jacob's continued presumptuousness irritating. "She's not going to hurt Renesmee," I snapped, now working with my brothers to wrestle Bella toward the front door. "And if you would just _leave_, she'll calm down!"

Rosalie, however, tended to agree with Jacob. _I'm taking Nessie out the back way, Edward_, she thought, heading for the back door. _We'll wait out in the yard until Bella settles down. Better safe than sorry._

"I really don't think that's necessary, Rosalie," I muttered, but she was already out of the house. Jacob either saw or smelled Renesmee with Rosalie in the back yard and took off in that direction. Bella struggled against us to chase after him, but we managed to get her up the steps and into the living room.

The three of us forced her toward the couch. I sat first and pulled her down next to me so I could hold her while Emmett and Jasper kept their tight grip on each of her arms. Carlisle was behind us with Seth in human form in his arms. He placed Seth gently onto the couch next to us as Esme rushed forward with Carlisle's medical bag.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Seth protested weakly, but nevertheless submitted to Carlisle's examination. "Sheesh, Bella, you're like a rock or something now. It was like a boulder rolled down a mountain and plowed into me!" As always, Seth's demeanour remained upbeat. He wasn't the least bit angry or even annoyed at Bella, despite his injury at her hands. If anything, he was impressed by her new strength.

At the sound of his young voice, Bella's expression suddenly cleared. Instead of quivering with fury, she crumpled a little into the cushions of the couch. Her brow was no longer furrowed in anger, but now creased with worry and shame. "Oh, Seth! I'm so sorry! I--"

I exhaled with relief as I felt her body relax. Loosening my hold around her waist, I hugged her against me and interrupted her apology. "Love, it wasn't your fault. You're not in control of your emotions yet. I should have stayed closer to you so I could have caught you before you moved." I looked over at the teenager beside us. "I'm sorry, Seth."

He grunted with discomfort as Carlisle manipulated his shoulder. "It's no one's fault, man. Stuff happens. Jake knew Bella wasn't going to take the news lightly. The pack certainly didn't."

Bella shuddered, likely fighting to stay calm despite the reminder of what had set her over the edge in the first place. Emmett and Jasper were still holding her arms, and tightened their grip on her once again. "The pack knows?" she asked.

Seth chuckled. "Jake told them right away. He knew it would change everything."

"What do you mean?"

"It ended the feud, Bella," Carlisle said as he continued to work on Seth. "It's forbidden to harm the object of another wolf's imprinting."

Seth nodded. "Apparently it happened once, years and years ago, by accident. The pain of the loss was so great to the wolf involved that the whole pack suffered. No one wants to do that to another wolf, especially since it ends up with a fight to the death."

"A fight to the death?" Bella repeated.

Seth answered with a shrug of his good shoulder. "No choice in the matter is the way it was explained to me."

"So the other pack doesn't want to attack us anymore?"

"No, Bella," Carlisle shook his head. "Sam came and spoke to me while you were...unconscious. The truce is back in force."

"Sam was here?" She seemed incredulous, given the state matters with the wolves had been in when she had last been cognizant of them.

"Yes." Carlisle smiled slightly. "It was quite a show of faith, actually, especially since he had to speak to me directly, in his human form." He glanced at me meaningfully, his eyes full of pride. "Edward wasn't going to leave your side to provide translation services."

Bella placed a hand over mine where it was still settled around her waist, squeezing gently. She stared at her own perfectly pale fingers for a moment. "What about the part where none of you were supposed to..._bite_ any humans?"

"Sam agreed that it was Jacob's prerogative as Ephraim Black's descendant to permit it," I murmured softly. Despite my feelings about Jacob, I had to acknowledge that his permission for me to change Bella had made matters much easier on my family. I would have done it anyway, but it would have meant we would have had to leave Forks immediately—and permanently.

"Does that mean that the packs are reunited again?" Bella asked.

"No," Seth shook his head, grimacing at the same time at something Carlisle was doing to his collar bone. "But Jacob and Sam found out something weird, though...as the two Alphas, they're able to communicate with each other if they want to, as long as they're in wolf form. They can hear each other's thoughts, but only thoughts they _want_ to share. And it works over distance, too."

"Fascinating," Carlisle murmured absently. He could sit and talk about wolf pack dynamics all day. I, for one, couldn't have cared less.

The sound of the telephone ringing startled us all. Esme was closest, and quickly checked the caller I.D. _Charlie._

"Just let it go to voice mail for now, Esme. We still need to come up with a plan," I said quietly. I knew that this was another topic that was going to be upsetting for Bella. It would have been nice to have been able to get her through one day as a vampire without problem after problem presenting itself.

But no. _That would be too easy, and we couldn't have that_, I thought cynically.

"Who is it? Is it Charlie?" Bella demanded, turning to look at my face.

I hesitated but then nodded. "He called this morning, too. Esme talked to him and told him that you had relapsed and were too ill to speak to him."

She sighed. "He's still buying that story?"

Seth chuckled. "Yeah, you'd think that as chief of police he'd be suspicious by now and come to see for himself if the Cullens had killed you or something..." He let his voice trail off as he realized what he had just said, his eyes widening. "I mean...I..." He turned to me with an apologetic expression. _Sorry, man. I didn't mean..._

I waved him off. "It's okay, Seth." The bald truth of the fact that I had indeed ended Bella's human life still made something inside me ache, but there was no point in being annoyed at Seth for pointing out the reality of it. I wasn't sure that part of me wouldn't always feel guilty for it, but I was going to have to learn to live with it.

The telephone rang again. "Charlie again," Esme sighed as she glanced at the caller I.D.

Bella's perfect brow creased into a frown. "What am I going to do about Charlie and Renee?"

"We'll think of something, love." I tried to sound reassuring, but the truth was that there was no obvious solution that wouldn't involve her hurting her parents in some way. I knew she didn't want to simply disappear without an explanation. I could hardly contemplate the extent of the acting performance that would be required by me, my family and the wolf packs in order to pull off faking her death, much less the devastation to which it would subject Charlie and Renee.

Yet another thing to feel guilty about.

Bella sighed, but didn't pursue the topic any further. Instead, she cocked her head to one side, listening. "They still have Renesmee outside?"

I nodded. "An over-reaction, I think, but it's been difficult to reason with Rosalie and Jacob where Renesmee is concerned." At the moment, Jacob was wholly focused on protecting our daughter from her newborn vampire mother despite Rosalie's insistence that she didn't need the help and Leah's growled pleas that he take the opportunity to vacate.

"I can't believe he's still here," Bella murmured. Her expression told me that she was already feeling guilty for her behaviour. I wanted to tell her that he had deserved it, but doubted she would appreciate the sentiment.

"He never leaves," Seth told her. He lifted his arm as best he could, trying to cooperate with Carlisle's preparation of a splint.

"He doesn't?"

"The only time he's left Renesmee's side since she was born was when he had to go talk to Sam. It annoys the heck out of Leah, especially when he made us stay behind to watch over her while he went to see the other pack by himself." Seth shrugged again, but forgot to favour his injured shoulder. He winced at the extra pain he had just caused himself. "I think it's kinda cute."

I suppressed a growl. I supposed that I had to grudgingly acknowledge Jacob's devotion to Renesmee's safety even above his own, but I still found his presence irritating. I was still a little disappointed he had managed to escape the entire incident with Bella unscathed. However, the memory of her anger and his look of stunned surprise at her attack would keep me fighting a smile for weeks.

After all, I still owed him for kissing Bella. Twice.

I shook my head to clear the thought, leaning over instead to brush my lips over the side of Bella's neck. "Are you okay, love?" I whispered.

She sighed and nodded. "I think so."

Emmett and Jasper had already release their hold on her arms, but still stood nearby just in case. I kept my own arm around her waist, no longer restraining her but instead simply taking advantage of the opportunity to hold her body against mine. Something deep in my stomach flickered at the very clear memory of our kiss in the forest, just before we had returned from our hunting trip.

I chided myself for my selfishness, but still longed for later tonight, when I knew we would finally have some time alone. The thought made me squeeze her closer and rub my nose across her shoulder, inhaling her scent.

Bella shivered, and I silently rejoiced in my ability to distract her. _Yes. _

I couldn't wait for tonight.

Amused, I watched Bella fight to regain her focus by concentrating on Carlisle's work for a moment. "Seth, I'm..." she started to say, but I interrupted her again. I wouldn't have her apologizing for what had been a perfectly normal and expected response on her part, and was determined to alleviate her guilt.

"No, really, love, it was me," I insisted. "I should have known better how you would react."

"I think he'll make it," Carlisle announced with a small smile. "It's healing already, and I think I got the bones back in place in time."

"Which ones did she break?" Emmett asked, a little too eagerly.

"His shoulder joint and his collarbone," Carlisle told him.

"Awesome," Emmett looked at Bella with a proud grin. I rolled my eyes, but again restrained a smile.

"_Emmett_," Esme scolded, and patted Seth's cheek gently. "Can I get you anything, dear? Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

"Maybe just some water, please, Mrs. Cullen," Seth told her politely.

"Seth, I..." Bella began again, but I quickly spoke over her.

"I'm so sorry, Seth. I should have been closer."

Bella tried for a third time. "Seth, I—"

"Don't worry about it, Bella, I'm totally fine," Seth told her at the same time as I said, "Bella, love, no one is judging you. You're doing so well."

She looked unconvinced, especially when Seth winced at a movement Carlisle made in securing a brace to his injured arm. "Sorry, sorry!" she mumbled.

"Don't freak, Bella," Seth assured her, patting her knee with his good hand while I rubbed her other arm. "I'll be back to normal in half an hour. Anyone would have done the same, what with Jake and Ness—" he hesitated, shooting her a wary look. "I mean, at least you didn't bite me or anything. That would've sucked."

Carlisle smiled wryly. "It certainly would have. As I recall, vampire venom is quite poisonous to you wolves."

Bella buried her face in her hands again and shuddered. "I'm a bad person."

My back straightened at the very idea. "Of course you aren't. I should have—"

"Stop that," she interrupted with a sigh. I decided to hold my tongue to avoid aggravating her.

There was a moment of silence as we all watched Carlisle work. "Lucky thing Ness—Renesmee's not venomous. 'Cause she bites Jake all the time," Seth offered casually.

Bella dropped her hands in surprise. "She does?"

"Sure. Whenever he and Rose don't get dinner in her mouth fast enough. Rose thinks it's pretty hilarious."

Again, I fought the smile. I had to admit that I found that rather funny myself, despite my distaste at the idea that my daughter put her mouth on that dog's flesh. Who knew where it had been? What sort of ticks and fleas might want to live there?

"Well, Seth," Carlisle tightened the brace one last time, then stood up and stepped back from the couch. "I think that's as much as I can do. Try to not move for, oh, a few hours, I guess." He chuckled and put a comforting hand on Seth's head. "I wish treating humans were this instantaneously gratifying." He let his hand rest there a short moment. "Stay still," he added, then disappeared upstairs to his office.

"I can probably manage sitting still for a while," Seth murmured with a yawn. He carefully adjusted his position so that his head was against the back cushions, closed his eyes, and instantly fell asleep.

Bella watched him for a few seconds and then stood up, careful not to jostle the couch. I followed her toward the back windows and took her hand, silently taking in the scene outside.

Leah was still nearby, pacing back and forth along the riverbank, pausing every once in a while to look toward the house. Her thoughts alternated between concern for her brother, inside the vampires' den, and anger at Bella for causing the injury. Jacob's presence irritated me, but _that_ woman was in a category all by herself. It was astonishing that someone so cantankerous was related to the gentle boy now asleep on our couch.

Although they had moved around to the front of the house and were now sitting together on the front steps, we could hear Jacob and Rosalie arguing over whose turn it was to feed Renesmee. They had a grudging sort of _detente_ these days, tolerating each other because they were aware of Renesmee's affection for them both. For now, they were united in their agreement that they would keep Renesmee outside until they were satisfied Bella was a hundred percent calm.

"Do you want to see Renesmee, love?" I asked Bella, gently squeezing her hand. She appeared one hundred percent calm to me, and it was our judgment as Renesmee's parents that mattered. Everyone else was going to have to start accepting that. I had let it slide and let them take over far too much where Renesmee was concerned while I had been preoccupied by Bella's transformation, but now that she was back with me, it was time for us to take charge.

"In a bit," she murmured.

"You don't have to listen to them, you know. I think you're fine."

"I know, I think I am, too, but let's leave her with them for a while longer."

We stood at the window quietly for some time, both of us lost in our thoughts. Emmett, Alice and Esme eventually slipped out to go hunting. Although he said nothing about it out loud, Jasper declined to join them, preferring instead to stay nearby in case I needed help with Bella again. He stood by the stairs watching us, lost in his own thoughts. He was finding Bella's control both fascinating and disturbing; he had never, among the dozens and dozens—if not hundreds—of newborns he had encountered in his long life, seen anyone who had come through the transformation as she had, fully aware, rational, not consumed by bloodlust. She even seemed more in control of her need for blood than he was, which disturbed him all the more. He felt like a failure in comparison. It was something I would need to discuss with him when we had a moment alone. I was concerned about him, but I also didn't want him to come to resent Bella.

It was Jasper who eventually broke the silence, having sensed that Bella was becoming tense. Since her mind remained silent to me, at times he was able to read her better than I was. "What's the matter, Bella?" he asked from his spot by the newel post, sending out a wave of calm at the same time. "No one is angry with you"—we all ignored the low snarl from Leah, still pacing down by the river—"or even surprised, really. Well, I suppose we _are_ surprised. Surprised that you were able to snap out of it so quickly. You did well. Better than anyone expects of you."

I shot him a grateful glance, pleased that he would speak so encouragingly to Bella despite his own feelings about how well she was doing.

Bella's grasp on my hand tightened slightly. "I was thinking about Charlie, actually."

In mid-argument with Rosalie, Jacob suddenly fell silent at the mention of Charlie's name. He was concerned about Bella's father, too, and knew it was a significant issue for our family's future plans. I could hear his heart rate accelerate slightly with his anxiety.

"Ah," Jasper murmured.

"We really have to leave, don't we?" Bella asked. "For a while, at the very least. Pretend we're in Atlanta or something."

I stared at her, trying to get an idea of how she felt about that. She had known what she was getting into, but it clearly tore at her heartstrings to think of actually having to abandon her father.

Jasper noticed my concerned expression. _It's the only way_, _Edward_, he reminded me, answering her aloud at the same time. "Yes. It's the only way to protect your father."

She contemplated that for a moment. "I'm going to miss him so much. I'll miss everyone here."

Jacob's thoughts were a flurry, various scenarios for handling Charlie running through his mind, peppered by his anxiety at the idea that we would leave Forks—and take Renesmee with us. He wondered about coming with us and I almost snorted out loud. _Over my dismembered body_, I thought hotly, borrowing Rosalie's phrase.

But it was certainly interesting that his anxiety over the possibility of our departure was primarily focused on Renesmee and not on Bella.

Bella startled me when she was the one to snort aloud, almost as if she had been thinking the same thing I had. I highly doubted it, however. I raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, but she simply shook her head.

Suddenly there was movement on the front porch, and both Jacob and Rosalie stepped inside, Renesmee in Rosalie's arms. My dead heart lifted at the sight of my tiny daughter, buoyed too much by her presence even to find it annoying that Jasper had quickly darted to Bella's other side. At the same time, Carlisle came down the stairs with his measuring equipment.

"Must be six," I murmured.

"So?" Bella stared at the trio by the door.

"Time to measure Ness—er, Renesmee," Carlisle explained.

"Oh. You do this every day?"

"Four times a day," Carlisle gestured to Rosalie, indicating that she should bring Renesmee over to the couch.

Renesmee knew what was coming, and wasn't thrilled about it. She found this little ritual both boring and irritating. I couldn't help grinning at her impatience with it, which I found rather cute. Already, she could be petulant and stubborn just like her mother.

Already, she had me so wrapped around her little finger just like her mother that it was almost disgusting.

"Four times?" Bella repeated. "Every day? _Why?_"

Unfortunately, the reason for this ritual was anything but cute. In fact, it was extremely worrisome, the one blight on my sheer joy with every aspect of Renesmee's existence.

"She's still growing quickly," I murmured, trying to keep the stress out of my voice for Bella's sake. We didn't know what it meant yet, and I didn't want to worry Bella—especially not on her first day as a vampire. I squeezed her hand and wrapped my other arm around her waist. This time it wasn't to restrain her; it was because I selfishly needed to feel her in my arms to temper own my concern.

I watched Bella watch Renesmee, and had a feeling that I knew what she was seeing. With her newly heightened senses, she would have noticed that even over the past hour, Renesmee had grown ever so slightly. She was just a little bit longer, her baby fat just a little less noticeable, her hair just slightly lower down her shoulders.

She had to realize, as we had from the first hours of Renesmee's life, that our daughter was growing—and therefore aging—at an alarming rate.

As if on cue, Bella drew in a shocked breath, clearly having worked through the implications of what she was seeing. "What do we do?" she whispered.

Reflexively, my arms tightened around her. At the same time, however, I felt just a fleeting moment of relief—I had been living with this alone, apart from our family, of course, for the past few days. It was somehow slightly more tolerable to think that I could now share this burden with my daughter's mother.

Unfortunately, there was only one honest answer I could give her to her question. "I don't know."

"It's slowing," Jacob insisted, through clenched teeth. His brow was furrowed with concern as he watched Carlisle with the measuring tape.

"We'll need several more days of measurements to track the trend, Jacob," Carlisle said. "I can't make any promises."

"Yesterday she grew two inches. Today it's less."

"By a thirty-second of an inch, if my measurements are perfect," Carlisle murmured.

"_Be_ perfect, Doc," Jacob said, his tone almost threatening. Rosalie glared at him. _Watch it, dog._

"You know I'll do my best," Carlisle replied, but I knew his assurance was for my benefit—and Bella's—rather than Jacob's.

Jacob merely sighed. "Guess that's all I can ask."

_How magnanimous of you_, I thought, irritated yet again. Bella seemed to echo the sentiment, for I felt her stiffen slightly at my side.

Renesmee had had enough of this activity, and started to squirm in Rosalie's arms. She turned her head and found us across the room. _Mommy. Daddy._ She reached toward Rosalie impatiently, and Rosalie leaned forward so Renesmee could place a palm on her cheek. The message was clear: she wanted Bella.

Rosalie sighed.

"What does she want?" Jacob demanded, taking a half step forward. I clenched my teeth to restrain the urge to tell him to shut the hell up. While on some level I could appreciate his concern for Renesmee's well-being, he really was infringing on our provenance as her parents—especially Bella's, when Bella had had so little time with her.

"Bella, of course," Rosalie replied, and turned her eyes to Bella. "How are you?"

"Worried," Bella replied, and I knew she didn't mean that she was worried about her own ability to remain in control. I squeezed her, hoping to reassure her.

"We all are," Rosalie said. "But that's not what I meant."

"I'm in control," Bella told her, and I, for one, believed her. I was completely confident that my wife would know herself well enough not to chance Renesmee's safety.

Rosalie wasn't entirely convinced, but was smart enough to see from the look on my face that she had no choice but to hand Renesmee over. _I hope you're sure, Edward_, she thought unnecessarily.

Both Jacob and Rosalie tensed noticeably when Bella took Renesmee in her arms, the little girl reaching for her mother just as her mother reached for her. I felt a surge of warmth where my heart used to beat at the sight of them together, Renesmee's joy radiating from her beautiful features with a blinding smile. _Mommy!_ Her chocolate brown eyes were so much like Bella's had been. I silently thanked the powers that be for preserving that part of her in this way. I would never have Bella human again, but I'd been given a mirror image of so many of her best physical features, subtly mixed with my own. I could feel myself beaming with pride and happiness.

Everyone in the room watched as Renesmee immediately placed her palm on Bella's cheek. Bella gasped a little at the images that filled her mind from Renesmee's, causing Jasper to start a little at a sound he momentarily interpreted as distress. Bella's sense of wonderment at what she was seeing, however, allowed him to relax—if only slightly.

I watched along with Bella as Renesmee told her mother about her day and all of the things she had seen. It wasn't lost on me that I was privileged to be able to share this with them both. More often than not over the decades I had taken my ability for more of a curse than a gift, but there was no doubt in this moment that it was a gift of the profoundest proportions. Our little nuclear family was bound together, isolated in a room full of people by our ability to share this moment amongst the three of us and no one else.

Renesmee played through the scene of Bella's attack on Jacob with perfect clarity, her perspective from the safety of the house allowing us both to see it as if it were a movie. Renesmee wasn't exactly upset by what she had seen, but she was glad that Seth had intervened and saved Jacob. It was quite clear that she didn't want him hurt. Somehow she felt that he was _hers_.

Bella groaned at the realization. "Oh, wonderful. Perfect."

My smile fell slightly as my shoulders stiffened. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, either. "It's just because he tastes better than the rest of us," I muttered.

"I told you she likes me, too," Jacob said, somehow sensing what we were talking about. His gaze was still fixed on Renesmee, watching for the slightest sign of distress.

Renesmee continued with other memories of the day. Rosalie gently brushing her hair, singing some kind of nursery rhyme. Carlisle and his measuring tape.

"It looks like she's going to give you a rundown of everything you missed," I murmured in Bella's ear, drawing closer to her side. Jasper's eyes darted in my direction as he wondered if I'd sensed some need for us to intervene. He realized quickly that I had simply craved her proximity.

Unfortunately, Renesmee's next thought was of her dinner: a cup of human blood.

Not a good image to put in the mind of a newborn vampire holding a half-human child against her chest.

I panicked. My breath caught in my throat, and Bella barely had time to wrinkle her nose before I snatched Renesmee from her. Jasper moved just as quickly and pinned her arms behind her back.

Bella's eyes were wide as she stared at me, taken aback by what had just happened. "What did I do?"

_Daddy!_ Renesmee squirmed in my arms, annoyed that I had interrupted. I looked over at Jasper and then back at Bella's confused face.

"But she was remembering being thirsty," I muttered, frowning. "She was remembering the taste of human blood."

Bella simply looked back at me, still not understanding my reaction. "Yes. And?"

We stared at each other for a moment longer before it dawned on me: she didn't know why I had reacted that way because she hadn't been remotely tempted by the image from Renesmee's mind. I merely assumed she had.

I let out a short laugh and shook my head incredulously. "And nothing at all, it seems. The overreaction is mine this time. Jazz, let her go."

As soon as she was free of Jasper's grasp, Bella reached for Renesmee again. I handed her back without hesitation.

It was Jasper who now appeared distressed. He was utterly baffled by the idea that a clear memory of the taste of human blood had barely registered with Bella, a newborn of less than a day old. It was incomprehensible to him. His thoughts were a jumble of confusion and self-recrimination.

"I can't understand," he managed to say. "I can't bear this." _I'm sorry, Edward._ He turned on his heel and walked straight out the back door, disappearing across the yard and over the river into the forest.

Renesmee put her hand on Bella's neck, replaying the scene of her uncle's departure back, questioning what just happened.

"He'll be back," I said, for both her benefit and Bella's. "He just needs a moment alone to readjust his perspective on life." It wasn't appropriate for me to be the least bit amused by Jasper's distress, but I had to fight to keep the grin of sheer pride and delight off my face. I had been fully prepared for it to take months—if not years—for Bella to return to any semblance of her former self, to continue the agonized waiting I had experienced during her transformation.

It appeared that we would have none of it.

"Is he mad at me?" Bella asked quietly.

My eyes widened. "No. Why would he be?"

"What's the matter with him, then?"

"He's upset with himself, not you, Bella. He's worrying about...self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose you could say."

Carlisle hadn't expected that explanation. "How so?" he asked.

I tried to summarize the path of Jasper's thoughts as he ran through the trees. "He's wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought, or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even now—perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations." I paused when Jasper had eventually put enough distance between himself and the house that he was out of my range. "You're making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Bella."

"But that's unfair," Carlisle said. He had been working at a different theory. "Everyone is different; everyone has their own challenges. Perhaps what Bella is doing goes beyond the natural. Maybe this is her gift, so to speak."

I hadn't thought of it that way before. "That's an interesting theory, and quite plausible. Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent? Do you really think that's a gift, or just a product of all her preparation?" After all, unlike the rest of us, Bella had deliberately chosen this life long ago. She had been told over and over again what to expect, and hadn't been taken by surprise by the transformation the way the rest of us had.

Carlisle shrugged. "It's slightly similar to what Siobhan has always been able to do, though she wouldn't call it a gift."

"Siobhan, your friend in that Irish coven?" Rosalie asked. "I wasn't aware that she did anything special. I thought it was Maggie who was talented in that bunch."

"Yes, Siobhan thinks the same. But she has this way of deciding her goals and then almost...willing them into reality. She considers it good planning, but I've always wondered if it was something more. When she included Maggie, for instance. Liam was very territorial, but Siobhan wanted it to work out, so it did."

"An extreme form of positive thinking?" I mused.

"Positive thinking with the twist of being able to convert those thoughts into being," Carlisle nodded.

Rosalie thought that over for a moment. "Isn't that kind of what Jasper does, in a way? He conjures up an emotion and then causes others to feel the same way."

"As opposed to what Alice can do," I said. "She can see a version of reality, but she can't force it to turn out that way—or a different way."

Now this was a topic that was fascinating. For Carlisle it was largely an academic interest, but for me it was quite personal. I had spent many, many hours over the past ninety years contemplating the reasons some vampires awoke from transformation with a gift—or in my case, what I so often considered a curse—and some did not, and why the gifts manifested themselves in the way they did. The idea that Bella also had some sort of gift we could not immediately identify was just as worthy of detailed exploration.

With a furtive glance at Bella and Renesmee to ensure they were okay, I settled into an armchair to continue the discussion with Carlisle and Rosalie. Doubtless Bella would appreciate a few moments with her child anyway that didn't involve everyone in the room on tenterhooks, waiting for her to make a mistake.

Jacob watched them for a while and then listened to us for a while but eventually settled onto the sofa next to Seth, his thoughts clouded by fatigue. He was contemplating joining his pack mate in a nap. It didn't take long before his head was lolled back beside Seth's, his mouth open in a soft snore.

Bella drifted over toward the rear windows, gazing at Renesmee while the child continued to tell her mother all about her day. I kept one eye on them, monitoring what Renesmee was thinking so I could intervene if necessary. Our little girl's mind was focused on every day matters, the birds she had seen with Jacob, the baby formula she hated but Carlisle kept insisting that she try and drink, the times she had sat with me at Bella's bedside during her transformation. Bella watched it all with interest and delight, occasionally cooing in shared wonderment or asking a question in a soft voice.

After a while, the tenor of Renesmee's thoughts started to change. I recognized it as the beginnings of sleep and glanced at the window: it was already pitch dark outside. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten…nearly midnight. Bella watched with fascination as Renesmee started to dream, her young mind full of disjointed images of the things and people she knew.

Suddenly, I heard another mind, travelling at great speed through the forest.

_It's time it's time it's time it's time!_

It was Alice, giddy with anticipation, Esme, Emmett and Jasper in tow behind her.

I felt my face break into a wide smile. I knew exactly what Alice was so excited about and was rather excited about it myself—if for an entirely different reason. "Finally," I breathed, and Bella glanced at me curiously.

I said nothing, but simply waited as Alice and the others closed the distance between themselves and the back door.

_You better not have told her anything, Edward! You promised me I could! _Alice was warning as she skipped into the living room. She pranced directly to Bella's side, a brass key with a large pink satin bow around it clutched in her hand. With a grin she held it out to Bella. Bella shifted Renesmee's weight to one arm and extended her free hand for the key.

"Happy birthday!" Alice squealed as she dropped it into Bella's open palm.

Bella frowned and rolled her eyes. "No one starts counting on the actual day of birth," she said. "Your first birthday is at the year mark, Alice."

Alice's smile didn't waver. "We're not celebrating your vampire birthday. Yet. It's September thirteenth, Bella. Happy nineteenth birthday!"


	25. Chapter 25: Surprise

**A/N: Well...this chapter is the infamous cottage scene. I will warn you now, as I wrote it, it basically turned into one gigantic (and I mean gigantic) lemon—difficult as I find those to write. So for those of you who aren't into that, you may just want to skip over this chapter. For plot purposes, suffice it to say that Bella gets her cottage.**

**Oh, and for anyone who may argue that a lemon like this is totally out of canon, I will certainly concede that point. But if you're like me, you'll agree that that was at least ONE way the original was sorely lacking...and the point of this whole exercise for me has been to fill in the bits that were lacking. That includes the lemons! ; )**

* * *

"No. No way!" Bella insisted, shaking her head and shooting me a sharp glance. I knew she'd react this way to any mention of another birthday, but I also knew that Alice had no intention of letting her off the hook, at least where the presents were concerned.

Besides, I was looking forward to Bella having these presents myself.

"No, this doesn't count," she continued. "I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever."

"Whatever," Alice said with a shrug. "We're celebrating anyway, so suck it up."

Bella sighed, looking from my face to Alice's. She knew there was little use in arguing with Alice once she had her mind made up.

Alice knew it, too. Her smile widened. "Are you ready to open your present?"

"Present_s_," I reminded her, pulling another key from my pocket, this one tied with a blue bow. I knew Bella would have a very good idea what the present from me would be, since we had discussed it at length before the wedding. She just didn't know its precise make and model.

"Mine first," Alice stated flatly, sticking her tongue out at me. _Mine is better. And I know _you_ want it, too, Edward._

She had me there, but I couldn't let her get her way quite so easily. "Mine is closer."

"But look at how she's _dressed_," Alice complained, sweeping a hand in Bella's direction. "It's been killing me all day. That is clearly the priority."

True, Bella looked a little worse for wear in her torn dress and my shirt, but I knew her well enough to know that when we got where we were going, she wasn't going to suddenly become absorbed in playing dress-up. She had probably forgotten what she had on.

Alice grinned. "I know—I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors."

Jasper chuckled. He'd had this offer from his wife before, and knew she didn't make the offer if she didn't already know that she would win.

It was my turn to sigh. "Why don't you just tell me who wins?"

"I do," she beamed. "Excellent."

"It's probably better that I wait for morning, anyway," I told Bella, with a small smile and a nod at Seth and Jacob, still passed out on our couch. "I think it might be more fun if Jacob was awake for the big reveal, don't you agree? So that someone there is able to express the right level of enthusiasm?"

Bella grinned at me gratefully.

"Yay," Alice sang. "Bella, give Ness—Renesmee to Rosalie."

"Where does she usually sleep?"

Alice shrugged. "In Rose's arms. Or Jacob's. Or Esme's. You get the picture. She has never been set down in her entire life. She's going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence."

Rosalie laughed, delighted to take our sleeping daughter back into her arms. "She is also the most _un_spoiled half-vampire in existence. The beauty of being one of a kind." She smiled warmly at Bella, and I was pleased to see it. The strange alliance of Bella's pregnancy seemed to have continued, and Rosalie was more content than I had ever seen her. Having a baby in the family had thawed her icy exterior considerably.

Emmett was watching his wife with a small smile playing about his lips. He was thinking the exact same thing, and had been delighted to reap the benefits of it for himself, too.

Once Bella was sure Renesmee was settled, Alice grabbed her elbow and started to steer her toward the back door. "Let's go, let's go!"

"Is it outside?" Bella asked.

"Sort of." Alice gave her another shove toward the door.

"Enjoy your gift," Rosalie called. "It's from all of us. Esme especially."

Bella seemed surprised that no one but Alice and I had moved. "Aren't you coming, too?"

"We'll give you a chance to appreciate it alone," Rosalie told her. "You can tell us about it...later."

Emmett snorted. _At least we _assume_ there'll be something to tell, bro. Just try not to knock it down on the first night, huh?_

Bella looked at him warily for a moment, then smiled. I simply rolled my eyes at him and followed her and Alice outside.

"There's the enthusiasm I'm looking for," Alice said approvingly, taking in Bella's pleased expression. She let go of Bella's arm and leaped across the river.

"C'mon, Bella!" she called, and we followed her into the forest.

After a few minutes, Alice whirled around and skipped back toward Bella. "Don't attack me!" She jumped on Bella's back and clasped her hands over Bella's eyes.

"What are you doing?" Bella demanded.

"Making sure you can't see."

A blindfold might have been easier. "I could take care of that without the theatrics," I pointed out.

Alice ignored the logic of my offer. "You might let her cheat. Take her hand and lead her forward."

"Alice, I—"

"Don't bother, Bella. We're doing this my way."

I laced my fingers through my wife's and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Just a few seconds more, Bella. Then she'll go annoy someone else." I tugged her forward and she followed me with ease, as though the possibility of stumbling didn't even occur to her. She was already as comfortable in her new body as I might have expected her to be after a few months.

_Stop pretending you haven't been looking forward to this yourself, Edward. I saw what you were up to when you were supposed to be hunting this afternoon. _"You might be a little more appreciative," Alice scolded me aloud. "This is as much for you as it is for her."

"True," I admitted, smiling to myself and giving Bella's hand another squeeze. _Very true. _ "Thank you again, Alice."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." Alice's voice raised an octave with her excitement. "Stop there. Turn her just a little to the right. Yes, like that. Okay. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," Bella told her. She leaned forward slightly, craning her neck as she tried to figure out the surprise based on what her other senses were telling her.

Alice hopped down from Bella's back and waited.

Before us stood a small stone cottage, glowing a warm gray in the soft light from the stars. I had known about it, of course, and seen it in the other's minds, but this was the first time I had seen it with my own eyes.

They had outdone themselves.

It was like something from a storybook, a fairy tale cottage in an enchanted wood built for a princess – a princess with humble tastes.

It was relatively tiny, only a few rooms in size. Small windows with painted shutters opened to the forest. A small path of flat stones led from where we stood up to the arch of the heavy wooden front door, complete with a metal ring for a knocker. The door was flanked by a small garden full of fragrant roses, their scent mixing with the honeysuckle which crept up one wall to the sloped shingle roof.

I felt Bella tense slightly beside me, but it was a different kind of tension than she usually displayed in reaction to a gift. It was more of a tension of anticipation. I grinned to myself in the darkness.

"What do you think?" Alice asked in a soft voice, eager for approval.

Bella's mouth opened but no sound came forth—she was still staring at the cottage, drinking it in.

"Esme thought we might like a place of our own for a while, but she didn't want us too far away," I explained quietly. For now, I decided to leave out the reason for Esme thinking we might want a place of our own: her familiarity with two previous sets of newlyweds. "And she loves any excuse to renovate. This little place has been crumbling away out here for at least a hundred years." Carlisle had owned it for at least that long, but had never had a need to do anything with what we assumed was originally a hunter's cabin.

Bella simply continued to stare, her jaw hanging slack.

"Don't you like it?" Alice asked anxiously, her smile fading. "I mean, I'm sure we could fix it up differently, if you want. Emmett was all for adding a few thousand square feet, a second story, columns, and a tower, but Esme thought you would like it best the way it was meant to look." She pressed ahead, her voice climbing an octave. "If she was wrong, we can get back to work. It won't take long to—"

"Shh!" Bella interrupted with a hiss. Alice pressed her lips together and waited, but her thoughts were a flurry of plans as to how the cottage could be altered, and how long each change would take.

I waited quietly too, but I had a very good feeling that Alice's concerns were unfounded.

"You're giving me a house for my birthday?" Bella asked finally.

"Us," I corrected. "And it's no more than a cottage. I think the word _house_ implies more legroom."

"No knocking my house," she whispered, squeezing my hand.

Alice's face broke into a wide smile. "You like it."

Bella shook her head vehemently.

"Love it?"

Bella nodded.

Alice giggled excitedly and clapped her hands, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. "I can't wait to tell Esme!"

"Why didn't she come?" Bella asked.

Alice shot me a meaningful glance and a devious smile. _Should I tell her it was your idea that as few people come as possible so that you could be rid of us that much faster?_ "Oh, you know..." she said instead. "They all remember how you are about presents. They didn't want to put you under too much pressure to like it."

Nice cover, Alice.

"But of course I love it. How could I not?"

"They'll like that." Alice patted Bella's arm affectionately. "Anyhoo, your closet is stocked. Use it wisely." _And soon...please._ "And...I guess that's everything."

Bella looked at her with confusion. "Aren't you going to come inside?"

_Should I come in? Hang out for a while, Edward?_ Alice thought teasingly, but took a few steps back. "Edward knows his way around. I'll stop by...later. Call me if you can't match your clothes right." She hesitated for a fraction of an instant, winked at me, then took off into the trees just after tossing her parting words over her shoulder: "Jazz wants to hunt. See you!"

Bella seemed mystified by Alice's sudden departure. "That was weird. Am I really _that_ bad? They didn't have to stay away. Now I feel guilty. I didn't even thank her right. We should go back, tell Esme—"

God, no. We weren't leaving here until the morning, not if I had anything to say about it. The strawberry and freesia scent wafting from my wife's skin, mixing delectably with the smell of the roses, the trees and the honeysuckle in the night air, was stirring the threads of physical want in my abdomen.

"Bella, don't be silly. No one thinks you're that unreasonable."

"Then what—"

"Alone time is their other gift. Alice was trying to be subtle about it," I finally admitted, smiling a little awkwardly. That Bella hadn't clued in to that sooner made me feel a little uncertain. She was so new...maybe she wasn't ready yet. The moment in the forest earlier could have been an aberration, a residual effect of the thrill of the hunt.

Bella stared at me for a moment. "Oh."

I wasn't sure what to make of that, or the look on her face. Before it had been so much easier to tell what she wanted, so obvious when her breathing would accelerate and her heart rate sped.

Well, we could go inside at least.

"Let me show you what they've done," I said, taking her hand to pull her forward up the stone path.

She chuckled suddenly, startling me.

"Do I get to hear the joke?"

"It's not a very good one," she shrugged. "I was just thinking—today is the first and last day of forever. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around it. Even with all this extra room for wrapping." She laughed again, shaking her head, and I laughed with her. We had reached the front door, and I gestured to the knob, waiting for her to unlock it.

"You're such a natural at this, Bella; I forget how very strange this all must be for you. I wish I could _hear_ it." Yes, that would certainly make _all_ of this so much easier. At least that way I would have a clue if she was thinking anything at all like what I was thinking—or trying not to think while we had been in the house with the rest of the family. How her skin had felt under mine this afternoon...so soft, so smooth...just the right temperature, no longer hot in contrast to my coolness, no longer fragile under my stone fingers.

Impulsively, I reached around and picked her up into my arms.

"Hey!"

"Thresholds are part of my job description," I smiled. "But I'm curious. Tell me what you're thinking about right now." _Tell me you want me, too._

She looked up at me as we stepped inside, before turning her head to take in the sight of the little living room. "Everything. All at the same time, you know. Good things and things to worry about and things that are new. How I keep using too many superlatives in my head. Right now, I'm thinking that Esme is an artist. It's so perfect!"

The interior was as much a scene from a fairy tale as the exterior. The floor was stone, too, covered here and there by an eclectic mix of warm rugs. The ceiling had long, exposed wooden beams and the walls were either stone or covered with a sort of wood panelling, such that nails could be pounded in and artwork hung. A fireplace in the corner held the remnants of a driftwood fire Alice must have lit earlier, not for the warmth but for effect, contributing a low, romantic light and a sense of coziness.

The furniture Esme had chosen was a mishmash of different styles and eras, again eclectic but altogether complimentary. It was a place where we would be able to escape with our daughter, recline in the chairs or the overstuffed sofa with a good book, or simply enjoy each other's company.

"We're lucky Esme thought to add an extra room," I said at the thought of our infant child. "No one was planning for Ness—Renesmee."

Bella frowned as she looked up at my face. "Not you, too."

"Sorry, love. I hear it in their thoughts all the time, you know. It's rubbing off on me." And the fact was, part of me agreed with them that 'Renesmee' was a lot of name for such a little girl...although I also thought Bella's gesture in creating that name was very touching. At least we hadn't had a boy she would have insisted naming Edward. That was a name that didn't belong in this century.

Bella sighed, so I changed the subject. "I'm sure you're dying to see the closet. Or, at least I'll _tell_ Alice that you were, to make her feel good." Not that Alice hadn't had a jolly old time simply doing the shopping, whether Bella ever wore anything she had purchased or not.

"Should I be afraid?"

"Terrified." I chuckled.

I carried her down the short, arched hallway that led to the two bedrooms at the back of the cottage.

"That will be Renesmee's room," I told her, nodding to a small room with a pale wooden floor, currently empty of furniture. "They didn't have time to do much with it, what with the angry werewolves..."

Bella laughed quietly as I turned into the doorway of the last room, across the hall from Renesmee's.

"Here's our room," I said, looking down at her face so I could watch her reaction. "Esme tried to bring some of her island back here for us. She guessed that we would get attached."

Bella's eyes widened a little as she took in the huge white bed, surrounded by bolts of the gauzy white fabric which mimicked the mosquito netting necessary on the island. I saw a flicker of understanding when she focused on the pale wooden floor, the colour chosen deliberately by Esme because it so closely matched the colour of the beach sand on the island. The walls had been painted a brilliant light blue, as similar as Esme could find to the shade of the tropical sky, and big glass doors set in the back wall opened onto a small garden with a still, clear pond—not an ocean, but as close as we would get here in the middle of the Olympic peninsula forest.

Bella's mouth opened and closed several times before she finally managed to squeak out a single syllable: "Oh."

"I know," I murmured, blocked as always from her mind but more than able to read what she was thinking from the expression on her face: it was perfect. Perfect for us. And a perfect reminder of the blissful weeks we had spent on Isle Esme, utterly alone, no noise, no obligations—just us. Just us learning each other's bodies for the first time.

At the memory, the delicious sort of knot that had been building somewhere around my stomach and groin started to tighten. I took in a deep breath through my nose, pulling the scent that was Bella—incredibly, the same as her human scent, yet somehow _more_—deep into my lungs. It increased the size of the knot, prompting me to say something to distract myself before I simply threw her to the bed and tore the remaining scraps of the silk dress from her body like an animal.

"The closet is through those double doors," I chuckled, knowing Bella wouldn't be nearly as impressed by it as Alice hoped. "I should warn you—it's bigger than this room."

Since she was staring into my eyes, I assumed she heard me but she didn't immediately acknowledge what I had said. Her breath hitched a little and she shifted her body in my arms, somehow pressing herself more tightly against my chest. I gloried in the fact that I could squeeze her against me in return, delighted to let go of the instinct to hold her as carefully as I might hold a butterfly in my palm so as to avoid crushing her.

She licked her lips and craned her neck to bring her face closer to mine, winding her fingers into the hair at the back of my neck. "We're going to tell Alice that I ran right to the clothes," she whispered, her eyelids heavy. "We're going to tell her I spent hours in there playing dress-up. We're going to _lie_."

_Thank God._

Unbidden, a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a growl rolled up from the back of my throat. I leaned in to press my mouth to hers, shedding the very last of that instinct to treat her body like a soap bubble. Here, in my arms, she felt as substantial as I was, just as strong, finally able to receive and return all of the physical passion I had felt for her for so long. Our lips crashed together fiercely, both of us sucking and nipping with teeth, tongues tangling without a hint of restraint, demanding in their exploration of each other's mouths.

In a single fluid motion, I set her back on her feet and grabbed what was left of the shoulder straps of her dress, pulling it apart easily and letting it fall to the floor. I reached for her bra straps as she tugged at my shirt sleeves, yanking the shirt into two pieces and tossing each piece to the side before reaching for the waistband of my pants and disposing of them just as easily. Not even a second had passed before we were both completely naked and falling to the floor with a crash that we barely heard.

In the forest earlier I had wanted to savour this moment, a second honeymoon of sorts, and had had visions of a slow, gentle and loving seduction as we reintroduced our bodies to each other as physical equals. I had pictured spending hours exploring my wife's new skin with my tongue, kissing every inch of her and teasing her into a frenzy before we finally came together and made love at a reverent pace until the sun started to rise.

It wasn't going to happen that way. At least not this first time. The need I felt was too great, too all-encompassing, and it appeared now that she was in exactly the same frame of mind. The frantic desire had to be sated; neither of us was in enough control of our want for the other to take our time with it.

She ended up on top when we hit the floor, and immediately snaked one hand behind my neck again to pull my face to hers while the other reached down to stroke my length with the heel of her palm. The beginnings of the erection I had had outside had turned rock hard in the last few seconds and throbbed almost painfully under her touch, not because she wasn't careful with her greater strength, but because I was now engorged to the point of physical strain. I wasn't going to be able to wait, not even for a moment.

I curled my forearm around her waist and with a quick flick flipped her onto her back. My left hand reached for a handful of her hair while my right slid the length of her body over her torso, between her breasts, down her flat stomach to the soft curls between her legs. She gasped when my hand slipped over her sensitive folds and my middle finger plunged inside her urgently, wanting only to see if she was ready for me. I moaned again at the wetness I found there and quickly settled my legs between hers, my right hand now reaching for her left knee, hitching it up so that she was spread open underneath me.

I drew back for just a moment, long enough to catch her heated gaze with mine, her red eyes looking up at my golden ones. The red seemed to have deepened somehow with her need, turning them almost black, and there was no mistaking the urgency there—she wanted this hard and fast, too, as much as I did. There would be plenty of time for tenderness later.

With that assurance, I pushed inside her with one continuous stroke, pausing only when our hips were pressed together and there was literally no further I could go. I hesitated there for just a moment, feeling her heat and her softness around me, enveloping me, welcoming me just as she had when she was human. It was the same but different, somehow more intense, as though her body had _solidified_, finally able to receive everything I could give her.

Another gasp escaped her throat and her eyes rolled back into her head briefly. She pulled the leg I still held in my hand free and wrapped it around my waist, bringing the other up as well so that her body was firmly clamped against mine. Her inner walls clenched around me, prompting me to moan out loud. I put an arm under her shoulders and the other under her ass—yes, _ass_, I thought, in some remote part of my brain. I would finally allow myself to think of my wife's body in those terms in these moments, as something I was entitled to use for my pleasure as much as she was entitled to use mine. In that position, I was able to pull her upper body against mine while she fused our lower bodies together with her legs around my waist.

I drew back and then pushed forward again, this time causing both of us to moan at the sensation. So warm, so wet, so _tight_, as though no one had ever been here before—and in a sense, no one had. The third time I drew back and pushed forward, straining as deep as I could go, I felt Bella's legs tighten their grasp around me, crushing me in a way that might have been slightly painful if it hadn't been associated with such unbelievable, unparalleled pleasure. Her inner walls clenched at the same time and she cried my name out loud, pulsing against me. I felt a small tinge of pride at the knowledge that I had made her come within no more than thirty seconds inside her, but I wasn't done with her yet.

Not by a long shot.

I didn't know what sort of forces of light or darkness I should thank for bringing this woman and her incredible body to me without even making me wait while she got used to being a newborn vampire, but I wasn't about to squander the gift I was being given. No, this was going to be a long, memorable night.

"Edward," she sighed as she settled back down from her orgasm, relaxing slightly in my arms. When I pushed my length back into her for the fourth and then the fifth time, however, she tensed up again, re-establishing the tight grip her legs had around my waist. She pressed a heel into my backside, encouraging me to go deeper, harder. "More," she murmured, "Please, more."

"Bella," I groaned, "God, how you feel around me, in my arms...I had no idea..." And truthfully, despite the decades of listening to others' thoughts about sex, both vampire and human, whether I wanted to or not, there had been no way for anyone's mind to fully encapsulate these sensations in a way that did them justice. Physically, I was a seventeen-year-old male, and if I had had the slightest idea of what this would be like, I don't know that Bella would have made it to the end of her junior year of high school before I changed her and made her mine so we could do this, early twentieth century morals be damned.

It was a good thing I was already familiar with my vampire body's ability to recover quickly, though. I could feel myself edging toward climax already and I didn't want to hold back even if I could. It had been weeks, far too long since I had last orgasmed, and I wanted it, _needed_ it as soon as possible.

I grabbed Bella's thighs and unclasped her legs from my waist, prompting a grunt of dissatisfaction from her until she saw that I was simply moving them up to my shoulders. Positioning them that way and then grasping her hips, I could pull her body onto mine and get even deeper with each thrust. The thrusts came faster now, pulling back, then pushing in quickly, almost roughly, pulling back again at a slightly slower pace, then inside again fast. She was clutching my arms, nails digging into my skin as she moaned, tossing her head back and forth against the floor. I could feel her body tensing around me again and knew I would join her this time.

I bent at the waist for yet a deeper angle, still holding her legs over my shoulders, and continued to thrust inside her. "Come with me, love," I muttered in a low voice. "I want to feel you, too, when I come inside you."

"It's...it's..." she thrashed a little bit under me from the sensations but I was able to keep her in place with my grip on her legs and the angle I maintained, pressing her body under mine. "It's..._now_..." she finally croaked as her inner walls clenched around me, needlessly telling me what was already obvious from her body and the increased wetness where we were joined. With a final hard thrust as deep as I could manage, I felt my own body tense and let go, the relief and euphoria pouring over me in waves as I pulsed inside her, increasing the wetness between us even more. An animalistic growl rang through the room, and I wasn't entirely surprised to realize it was coming from me, ripping through me as an audible echo of the intensity of the climax I felt from the bottom of my feet to the ends of my hair. The pulsing continued for long, delicious moments, much longer than I could recall ever experiencing on the island. Sex with Bella on the island had been incredible, indescribable, but it was a pale shadow compared to this.

I didn't know how much time passed before I was able to move enough that I could release my grip on Bella's legs. I let them fall to my sides but made no effort to pull away from her or pull myself from where I still rested inside her, twitching periodically but otherwise quite happily spent. Her eyes were closed, but she ran her hands through my hair absently, gathering herself together. I turned my head so I could lay my cheek against one soft breast, studying the creamy whiteness of the other breast as I came down from the mind-shattering high I had just experienced. The intensity... perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised, but I had had no way to imagine it, to predict it.

"We didn't even make it to the bed. I'm sorry," I murmured eventually, reluctant to break the contented silence but reluctant to simply stay on the floor as we were indefinitely.

She chuckled. "Like that's somehow your fault. You didn't see me rushing over there."

"I suppose that's true."

"And here I was worried that I wouldn't feel like this for a long time."

"No one is more pleasantly surprised than I am, believe me. While it was one thing to exercise restraint when I knew to do otherwise might kill you, to exercise restraint for an indeterminate number of months while you settled into being a vampire might have actually driven me to distraction." I tried to imagine what it might have been like to simply wait for her desire to return while I spent every minute of every day wanting her as much as I had ten minutes ago and shuddered at the thought. It would have been torture.

"Do you think you might have just jumped me eventually?" she teased, her voice light.

"I don't know. That would have made me an unconscionable brute. I'm not sure what I would have done. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about it."

"No." She shifted under me slightly, actively clenching her inner walls around me. I was already almost hard again, and that sensation was all I needed to complete the job. "No, you don't."

I chuckled and moved so I could lean down and kiss her, slowly, deeply. I slid further inside her and she moaned, reaching around to clutch me against her body. "We're taking our time this time. There are all kinds of things I can do to you now that I couldn't do before, you know."

"Hmm. Do tell," she purred. Actually _purred_. I had to shake my head a little to keep it clear enough not to simply give into the impulse to ravage her again on the floor.

Slipping my arms around her back, I wrestled us up so that I was on my feet but she was still curled around me, not breaking our connection. "And this time, we're making use of the bed."

"If you insist," she murmured, and buried her nose into my neck. I shivered as she feathered soft kisses from my shoulder to my jaw.

Unwilling to withdraw from my place inside her body for even a moment, I carefully maneuvered us down onto the soft white bed, unwrapping my right arm from around her waist only long enough to yank the comforter out of the way. Pressing her back onto the mattress, I hovered over her for a moment without moving, taking the opportunity to gaze at her face and sear the way she looked into my memory. Her dark hair was fanned out against the pillow, a dark contrast to the ivory fabric. In the faint light a human eye would not have been able to perceive its many hues, mahogany highlighted by subtler streaks of colour almost burgundy and deep gold. Her eyes were still as dark as before, heavy but shining with excitement and love. Her lips, which when human used to redden and swell slightly when we kissed for protracted periods, now simply remained a deep red, pouty and full. Her cheeks could no longer flush when I made her come, but instead they held a kind of radiance, a glow emanating somehow from within.

But this was still Bella, and she eventually squirmed with discomfort as I continued to stare at her. She drew her lower lip between her teeth and chewed it self-consciously, releasing it only to run her tongue over it in an absent but insanely sexy way. It glistened slightly in the faint light, and I couldn't resist ducking my head to kiss the moisture away.

"What?" she murmured softly when I pulled back again. "What are you looking at?"

I chuckled. "Isn't it obvious? You. Your stunning, incomparable beauty."

Bella rolled her eyes but smiled. "You sure that's not just your post-coital glow talking?"

"Definitely not. Besides, I'm not _post_ anything, given that I'm still inside you and the night is still young." To emphasize the point, I drew back, then pushed inside her again slowly, savouring each soft, wet millimetre of her flesh surrounding mine. Fast and hard had been what we had both needed a few minutes ago, but nothing, _nothing_ could compare to this sensation of warmth and pure connectedness. "_God_," I breathed when I was sheathed back within her again, as deep as I could go. I repeated the same action a few more times, just as slowly. My eyes had closed of their own volition, but I forced them open now so I could look down at Bella. Her lids were half-open, but her irises had rolled back into her head.

_Pull back. Push forward...slowly...Again. Again._

"Edward..." she murmured huskily, "You feel so amazing...I can't...even this brain...I can hardly process it."

"I know, love...I know..." I managed to say. I had moved this slowly with her before when she was still human out of sheer necessity, the need to ensure I didn't rip her in half...but this was something completely and utterly different. Then, so much of myself had been absorbed in concentrating on how much pressure I was putting on her fragile body, whether too much of my stone weight was crushing her, whether the slightest wrong move would cause her serious internal injury.

Now, I could concentrate exclusively on the sensations, the friction, the warmth...Except that there was no need to concentrate.

I could simply let myself feel.

_Pull back. Push forward...slowly...Again. Again._

On the island, I had thought I had finally come to understand what all the fuss was about, why people—and _vampires_—thought about sex as much as they did, in such graphic detail.

But _this_...

The fuss hadn't done it justice.

We moved together that way for a long while, occasionally kissing, alternating between soft brushes of lips and deeper kisses, tongues pushing against each other hotly, needing even more and more of a connection. At other moments, we simply pressed our cheeks together, or I rested my forehead against her shoulder while she tangled her fingers in my hair.

Eventually I felt her inner walls start to tighten around me. Before, on the floor, it had all been so frenzied I had hardly noticed the difference in the way her inner muscles felt now compared to when she was human. Then, although my skin was sensitive enough that I had been able to feel the signs of her body moving toward release, the pressure had been faint, gentle as a whisper.

Now, the muscles were like my own, clenching around me with delicious force. I sped my movements slightly in response and she let out a low moan.

"God, Edward, I'm _so...close..._"

"I know, I can feel you around me..." My voice was low in her ear.

"What...what can you feel?" she asked quietly, pressing her fingertips into my shoulder blades. "Tell me."

I hesitated. She wanted talk? _Dirty_ talk?

That was new. I wasn't sure I could manage it. Not yet.

But I could give her something.

"You're soft and warm...and when you're close you tighten around me. And you get..._wetter_. I can tell when you're ready to come," I murmured softly, so close to her ear that my lips brushed against her lobe as I spoke.

"_God_," she groaned again and hitched her knees up, changing the angle so I could go deeper. She wrapped her legs around my waist and dug her heels into the backs of my thighs—then surprised the hell out of me. "I can feel you, too," she whispered. "You're already like granite in me but you get even harder...When you come I can feel it, all of it spilling inside me so wet. I'm so glad I'm changed now so you'll let me..." She hesitated for a brief moment as if deciding on her next words, then let them tumble out in a rush. "...you'll let me...take you in my mouth."

I completely lost it.

With a growl that bordered on a roar, I thrust inside her as hard as I could, _once...twice..._and I was done for, coming ferociously, in wave after wave. Within seconds she caught up and found her own release, moaning my name as she clutched me with arms, thighs, feet, crushing the needless air out of my chest.

When she loosened her grasp I fell against her, for some reason panting as if I had just run a human marathon. We lay like that for a long moment, until I finally pulled out of her and flopped down on my back at her side. She rolled over and curled into my body, throwing a leg over mine and an arm over my chest.

I couldn't speak, but she chuckled.

"Did I get your attention?"

"Uh...you could say so," I finally managed to reply, making a conscious effort to slow my breathing. I turned my head towards her. "Where did _that_ come from?"

"I told you on the island I wanted to try that," she shrugged, raising an eyebrow at me seductively. "It's not my fault you wouldn't let me." She trailed her fingertips down my chest to my belly button, then back up again.

"It wasn't that I wasn't interested, believe me..." It was true that I had kept the scope of our activities on the island rather limited, but the reasons had all been related to Bella's safety and my uncertainly about the extent of my control. I hadn't wanted to test those limits by engaging in something that might affect me in a way that made me reach out and crush her skull without meaning to.

"Well, that's good. Because _I'm_ definitely interested." Her fingertips traced their way down my chest again, but this time didn't stop at my belly button. She skimmed through the faint trail of hair that led downwards, and continued until she could run them over my length, from tip to base.

Instantly, I was hard again.

I started to roll over toward her, her name a gasp on my lips. "_Bella..._"

"Stay still," she murmured. In a quick movement she scrambled over so she was kneeling between my thighs, her hand still caressing my erection. "You're going to have to tell me what you...like." She looked up at me from under her long eyelashes, her expression both shy and seductive. I started to sit up to reach for her, but her free hand shot out to my chest, pushing me back down to the mattress.

With her strength, she could have held me there if she wanted. It was disorienting, so different than what I was used to...But it was also...What was the word Emmett might use? _Hot._

I decided not to put up a fight.

Wrapping her little hand around the base of my erection, she leaned down and tentatively ran the tip of her tongue from base to tip.

My back arched at the sensation. Mistaking it for another escape attempt, Bella put her hand back on my chest and pushed me down again. "Do I have to tie you up, Mr. Cullen?"

_Good Lord..._

"Bella..." I breathed. "What in the..."

"Shh..." she commanded. "Unless you have directions to give, keep quiet."

"But where did you..."

She licked me again from base to tip, this time using the flat part of her tongue. I was almost grateful for her hand on my chest, restraining me from launching off the bed and through the ceiling. "I'm sure I've told you...You would have been shocked at some of the reading material Renee used to keep lying around the house. I was always...curious."

_Thank you, Renee._

The third time she licked me, she paused to twirl her tongue around the head, making me gasp harshly.

"The only problem is," she continued between passes with her tongue, "reading...is....different... than..._doing_. So you'll have to tell me...what...works." With that, she ducked her head and took me into her mouth—all of me, until I actually felt myself hit the back of her throat. When she closed her lips around me and started to move with a gentle suction, my eyes rolled back into my head and a strange gurgling noise escaped unbidden from my throat.

Expanded vampire mind or no, I completely lost the ability to form a coherent thought as her mouth and tongue and hand moved around me, alternately sucking and licking, sucking and stroking. I had the briefest of moments where my early twentieth-century sensibilities reared their ugly head and it occurred to me that a _lady_ didn't do this sort of thing...

But that thought evaporated in an instant when she suddenly decided to experiment with her teeth, and carefully ran them along my length, stopping at the tip to use her tongue again to lick it firmly, swirling around the entire circumference. At the same time, she used her hand to stroke me, up and down, turning her wrist slightly with the downstroke, using the moisture from her mouth.

The heat of her mouth...the wetness...the feeling when I would bump against the back of her throat, making her moan and send vibrations down the length of me, into my stomach and out through every inch of my body...I almost felt like I would actually pass out, were such a thing possible for a vampire.

It was as though she had as much an innate gift for _this_ as she seemed to have for her new body in general. There was little I could add to improve upon the process, so I simply pressed my back into the mattress and clutched at the sheets, moving only once or twice to guide her hand in a slightly different way. I felt the fabric of the sheets tear in my fingers but couldn't possibly have cared less. I lifted my head from the pillow a few times to watch her, but the sight of what she was doing, her plump red lips and her slim fingers wrapped around me, bobbing up and down, glancing up at me from under her eyelashes...I knew if I kept watching I would lose it, and I definitely didn't want this to end any time soon.

So instead I laid back and lost myself in the sensations. The friction, the warmth, the wetness...

_God._

I was suddenly becoming religious. Where else could something like this come from, if not from heaven itself?

Eventually there was just no way to hold back any longer. I could feel the tension building in my groin, rising and radiating outward as she worked, humming and moaning around me.

"Bella...I..." I managed to say, and reached out a hand to her cheek, trying to warn her that she might want to move.

She pushed my hand away, redoubling her efforts, taking me even deeper into her throat as she sucked and swirled her tongue over my most sensitive skin...up...down...around. I gave up any notion of telling her what to do and simply submitted, throwing my head back into the pillow. The tension was building...building...And finally broke through. With a roar that practically filled the room and rattled the glass in the windows, I came almost violently, spilling into her mouth. I could feel her swallow around me and it made me come even harder, wave after wave of my release coursing through my body.

I wasn't sure how long it took before I regained my senses, but Bella had released me from her mouth and scooted back up to my side after a few last licks and a gentle squeeze. I throbbed under her hand.

When I finally opened my eyes again and turned to her, she was resting her chin on my chest, gazing at me with a self-satisfied smirk. This was certainly not a Bella I was used to, but I wasn't about to complain.

I cleared my throat so I could find my voice. "Is it monstrous that I enjoyed that as much as I did?"

She rolled her eyes. "What did I tell you about the 'monster' talk?"

"You know what I mean."

"If you mean that you're feeling all 1918 on me, you need to forget it," she said, arching an eyebrow.

"I can't even imagine what you could possibly have read that gave you the information to do..._that_," I sighed at the memory and felt my whole body shiver.

She chuckled. "Reading for the basics...the rest was instinct. Judging your reactions. I have a feeling the vampire senses allowed me to..._appreciate_ the nuances in a way I might not have been able to otherwise."

"Then I should thank myself for changing you."

She smiled. "I'm glad you can joke about that now."

I still didn't consider it a laughing matter, but it was what it was and as circumstance had had it, it had been unavoidable. Besides, I tried to remind myself firmly, it was her choice. _Her_ choice. If I kept questioning it for the rest of eternity, I was sure to drive myself mad.

Saying nothing further, I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to my chest. She snuggled in and rested her cheek against my shoulder as she gazed through the window outside. The sky was just barely beginning to lighten, but a lark was already awake, singing somewhere nearby.

We were quiet for a long moment. Bella was the first to speak. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?" I murmured.

"All of it—the warmth, the soft skin, the tasty smell...I'm not losing anything at all, and I just wondered if it was a little bit sad for you that you were."

I laughed quietly at the very idea that there was anything at all I should be sad about right now. "It would be hard to find someone _less_ sad than I am now. Impossible, I'd venture. Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for, in the same day." The love of my life...married to me...at my side for eternity...a child I had never even dreamed of hoping for...peace with the wolves...no prospect of an angry Volturi showing up, wondering why Bella was still human despite their orders...

I lacked nothing.

"Are you avoiding the question?" she asked.

I pressed my palm to her cheek. "You _are_ warm," I told her. Not hot as she'd been before, but warm to my touch. The same temperature as I was.

I traced the backs of my fingers slowly down her face, creating a path from her jaw to her throat and then down to her waist. She drew in a sharp breath and I saw her eyes roll back a little at my touch.

"You _are_ soft." Soft to me. Smooth as satin.

"And as for the scent, well, I couldn't say I _missed_ that." I almost shuddered at the memory of how difficult it had been not to be overtaken by it before during moments of passion, when my control was already stretched to its maximum and I was giving it to my body's desires. "Do you remember the scent of those hikers on our hunt?"

"I've been trying very hard not to," she frowned slightly.

"Imagine kissing that."

Her eyes widened in comprehension. "_Oh._"

"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing _nothing_. No one has more than I do now," I told her truthfully.

She drew herself up so she could press her mouth to mine, answering me with a slow, deep kiss. She sighed into my mouth as her tongue tangled with mine.

When she finally pulled back, it was because she had another question. "How long does this go on? I mean, Carlisle and Esme, Em and Rose, Alice and Jasper—they don't spend all day locked in their rooms. They're out in public, fully clothed, all the time. Does this..._craving_ ever let up?" She twisted her body even closer to mine as if to emphasize her point.

_I certainly hope not_, I thought, but answered her differently. "That's difficult to say. Everyone is different and, well, so far you're the very most different of all. The average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while. That doesn't seem to apply to you." _Thank God._ There it was, I was getting religious again. "With the average vampire, though, after that first year, other needs make themselves known. Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever _fades_. It's simply a matter of learning to balance them, learning to prioritize and manage..."

"How long?" she insisted. I smiled, thinking back to our family's earliest days.

"Rosalie and Emmett were the worst. It took a solid decade before I could stand to be within a five-mile radius of them." It had been obnoxious, really, bordering on impolite. They couldn't even be in the same room with each other without having their hands on one another...and they'd been _loud_, too. Typical Emmett. "Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time stomaching it. They kicked the happy couple out eventually. Esme built them a house, too. It was grander than this one, but then, Esme knows what Rose likes, and she knows what you like."

"So, after ten years, then?" she asked, but sounded a little sceptical. I wondered if that was because she couldn't imagine the sheer lust lasting ten years, or if she couldn't imagine it lasting _only_ ten years. If she felt as I did—and tonight certainly suggested that she did—it was definitely the latter. "Everybody is normal again? Like they are now?"

I smiled again. "Well, I'm not sure what you mean by normal. You've seen my family going about life in a fairly human way, but you've been sleeping nights." I winked at her. "There's a tremendous amount of time left over when you don't have to sleep. It makes balancing your...interests quite easy. There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family, why—besides Carlisle—I've read the most books, studied the most sciences, become fluent in the most languages....Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know-it-all because of the mind reading, but the truth is that I've just had a _lot_ of free time."

We laughed together and she ducked down to kiss me again, rubbing the palm of her hand up and down my ribcage. We were pressed so closely together that our laughter created a lovely sort of friction between our bodies. I had been resting, only semi-hard for a few minutes, but now I could feel myself stiffening again.

"I hope you don't mind that I'll be taking up some of that free time now," she murmured against my lips. "Maybe a _lot_ of it."

"_All_ of it, I hope," I murmured back, sliding my own hand down her waist and over her ass, pressing her into my hardness. She started to wriggle her way up, intent, perhaps, on sliding down onto me.

I had other plans at the moment.

"Hmm...not yet, Mrs. Cullen," I told her, and flipped her onto her back. "There's something _I_ want to try now, too." I climbed down her body, gently pushing her knees apart so that I could situate myself between her legs. I grabbed her right foot and drew it up to my lips, placing a soft kiss on her ankle. She watched me with dark eyes as I kissed my way up her leg, pausing to give special attention to the soft spot behind her knee. She sucked in a sharp breath of air when I reached her inner thigh and opened my mouth to press the tip of my tongue against her skin, tracing a slow circle. I gripped her hip with my hand and let my thumb travel inward, over her slick folds. It never ceased to amaze me how _wet_ she got. For _me_.

I found her most sensitive spot and pressed the pad of my thumb against it firmly, again tracing a slow circle. Her back arched and she threw her head against the pillow.

I chuckled to myself and moved my hand away, earning a low groan of protest from my wife. I ignored it and reached for her left foot, intent on making the same slow journey from ankle to thigh. She didn't lift her head this time to watch, but I heard her breathing accelerate and the scent of her arousal in the air intensified.

_Yes._ There were still signals. They were just different, and I was going to enjoy learning each and every one of them.

When I got back up to her inner thigh again, she reached down to tangle her fingers in my hair. She pulled gently, her other hand grasping for my shoulder. "Edward..." she murmured as she tried to pull me back up her body.

"Patience, wife." I traced my thumb back over the path it had found previously, over the soft skin of her inner thigh to her center, now even wetter than before. I groaned quietly and took a deep breath through my nose. _Intoxicating._ I found the same sensitive bundle of nerves I had previously and her back arched up off the bed in response. Rubbing another slow circle, I let two fingers stroke gently backwards and up into her soft opening. I moved them around experimentally, curling them until I found the small area I was looking for.

"Edward!" she gasped, arching up again at what I hoped was an intensely pleasurable sensation. She moaned and writhed against my fingers.

_Ah, yes. Found it._

I massaged intently for a few moments, watching her reaction for indications of what worked best. She was so wet she was slippery, making it almost difficult to find purchase against her steadily hardening nub. I had touched her this way on the island, as carefully and gently as physically possible, but never with my face so close to her center. I hadn't trusted my ability to concentrate on not hurting her if I put myself so near her femoral artery, which would have been pounding with blood. That, combined with the scent of her arousal, might have sent me over the edge.

Now, however, I had no such concerns. And I planned to put some of the knowledge gleaned however unwittingly from the minds of my brothers and virtually every other sexually active male I'd ever run across into full use.

I continued the motion of my fingers inside her, stroking against her wet inner walls. I used my other hand to grip her right thigh to hold her in place for a moment, then moved my thumb out of the way so I could replace it with my tongue, flattening it tentatively against her engorged nub. _This_ part was entirely new.

_Holy mother of..._I gaspedjust as she did. The _taste_...I hadn't been prepared for the taste of her on my tongue, shocking in its ambrosial sweetness, its husky sexiness, its pure essence of..._Bella_. Different, very different, but as compelling as her human blood had been. It sang to me, drew me in, tempted me onwards.

Suddenly, I couldn't get enough.

I yanked my fingers out of her and gripped both of her thighs, pushing them further apart so I could sink my face between them, diving directly for the source of that _taste_. She gasped again and thrashed against me as I shoved my tongue inside her as far as I could go, tightening my grip on her thighs so I had the best access. I lapped at her almost frantically, barely conscious of the noises she was making, gasps and groans interspersed with the sound of my name deep in her throat. Her hands were back in my hair but they were no longer trying to pull me away—they pressed me forward. I was more than happy to receive the encouragement.

Minutes passed as I continued to tongue her entrance, almost selfish in my focus on that and that alone. It was almost an afterthought when I remembered that I should touch her most sensitive spot, too, and I wasn't particularly gentle when I pressed down on it again with the pads of two fingers. Bella let out something resembling a shriek at the sensation. She ground herself against me shamelessly. "God...more...please, more..." she managed to croak out.

Delighted to accommodate her request, I pressed down even more firmly and then started to trace small circles, still working at her with my tongue, alternating licking her folds and pushing it inside her. There was a taste that I knew wasn't solely hers, and I recognized it as my own release from earlier. The realization made something primal in me groan. I was suddenly conscious of my hardness again and the tightness in my stomach. _This_...was amazing. But I needed to get inside her and come again..._soon_.

"Come for me, baby," I muttered against her, not moving my lips from my place at her entrance. The vibrations coursed up her body and my fingers tightened their circles. Her thighs were starting to shake, which I assumed meant she was close. I dipped my tongue back inside her, waiting, continuing the circles at the same time.

Seconds later, she was muttering darkly, words—_curse_ words—I had never heard her say, ever. I might have been shocked—or amused—if it weren't so unbelievably..._hot_. Her nails dug into my scalp and she cried out my name as her whole body convulsed with the force of her orgasm. The wetness surged against my tongue and I greedily sought out all of it, hurrying because I still wanted to...

In a single quick movement I was back up her body, pressing my chest against hers as I pushed my erection inside her in one smooth, deep stroke. As I had hoped, I managed to catch the last few waves of her orgasm, her inner walls pulsing around me as I pumped into her, hard. At the same time, I clamped my mouth down on hers, shoving my tongue between her lips just as I had shoved it inside her elsewhere moments ago. She groaned and sucked at it furiously.

This wasn't going to last long, but I couldn't make myself care. I was too focused, too intent on finding the release I still saw on Bella's face, even as I felt her tensing up once more, tightening around me yet again.

I wouldn't have believed it possible, but _this_ orgasm, pulsing and pouring inside her as my hips pounded against hers and she screamed my name in my ear, was even more intense than the last...and the last before that. It was impossible, it had to be impossible. Could it be that every time would be that much better than the time before? I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

What would tomorrow night be like? Or next week? Or...next _year_?

Panting, quivering, I collapsed against her, for the moment unconcerned by the heft of my weight on her chest. If it were too much, I figured dazedly, she could shove me off. She was strong enough.

The thought had me laughing—the very idea of my petite Bella, about whom I had spent the last year and a half constantly worrying, left to her own devices to push her oaf of a husband off of her because he was too overcome by his own orgasm to move himself.

And the idea that that oaf was _me_, the very same Edward who had always been so preoccupied by her fragility and her virtue and treating her like the most delicate and precious flower...

How my life had changed.

How _I_ had changed.

It was insane.

But I wouldn't have traded a moment of it for the entire universe.

* * *

**Gah! Anyone else need a cigarette? Anyone else wish they were a vampire?**

**Thanks to katinki for pre-reading this and encouraging me to actually go ahead and post it. That last section was for you, babe...I remembered your special request.**


	26. Chapter 26: Favor

**A/N: Well, hope I didn't scare too many of you away with the smut last chapter! In fact, some of you seemed to like it! : )**

**Thanks, as always, to all who reviewed. You are too kind.**

* * *

As I gently caressed my wife's pale shoulder with my equally pale fingertips, it was tempting to simply stay in bed for the rest of the day. And night. And maybe a day or two – or three – after that. I knew our family would know where we were – and why – and certainly wouldn't mind filling in for us and caring for Renesmee.

But I also knew that Bella had had so little time with our daughter that she would regret not spending the day with her.

There was also the very pressing issue of Renesmee's accelerated growth to consider. While we still didn't know exactly what it meant, there was the very real and very terrifying possibility that it meant her life would be a short one.

Which meant we couldn't waste a moment with her.

I suppressed a shudder at the implications of that thought. My most natural tendency would be to brood over these implications, to wallow in grief and morbidity...but I was determined not to do that. I meant what I had said to Bella the previous night: I now had everything I had ever wanted. I was damn certainly going to enjoy it.

Sliding my fingers from Bella's shoulder and down her arm, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then kissed the spot near her collar bone my fingers had just vacated. Having my face so close to her delicate neck made me want to ravage her all over again, for the umpteenth time in the past six or seven hours. "Renesmee..." I murmured instead, attempting to remind us both of where our priorities lay for the day.

Bella sighed softly. A moment later, I felt her whole body tense.

"It's all right, love," I assured her, having a good feeling I knew what she was suddenly worried about: the same thing that worried me every day since Renesmee's birth. "Get dressed, and we'll be back to the house in two seconds."

She leapt from the bed in one fluid motion but then froze, staring back at me uncertainly. Her head pivoted almost comically as she turned her face in the direction of the main house, then back at me, then back toward the house, then back at me once more. Again, I had a feeling what she was thinking about and couldn't help but smile.

"It's all about balance, love. You're so good at all of this, I don't imagine it will take too long to put everything in perspective."

"And we have all night, right?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at me in the most adorable way.

I felt my smile widen. I loved the idea that our bodies were on the same page, so to speak. "Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren't the case?"

She grinned back and headed for the closet, bravely flinging the door open without even a second's hesitation.

When she saw Alice's handiwork, however, she had no choice but to pause.

The closet really was bigger than our bedroom, and every available inch was stuffed with a garment bag or a shoe box, everything new, everything waiting to be tried on and adored.

Poor Alice. I doubted she would ever get that satisfaction from Bella.

"Which ones are mine?" Bella asked, eyes wide as she took in the scene before her.

I touched the rack to the left of the door, where Alice told me she had included a few things for me. The rest of my clothes were still back at the main house, of course. "To the best of my knowledge, everything but this rack here is yours."

"All of this?"

I merely shrugged, explaining with a single word, "_Alice,_" just as she did. When Bella spoke my sister's name, however, it was more of a sound of consternation, bordering on irritation.

She reached for the nearest garment bag and yanked down the zipper to reveal a floor-length evening gown in a soft pink. It really was lovely and would probably look outstanding on Bella, but it was hardly appropriate for the middle of the day.

"Let me help," I suggested, and paused to sniff the air and see if I could locate the denim. It seemed to be at the back of the room, in one of the built-in dressers. Sniffing again, I opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans.

"How did you do that?"

"Denim has its own scent just like anything else. Now...stretch cotton?" I stepped over to a shorter rack and dug out a long-sleeved white t-shirt.

"Thanks," Bella murmured when I tossed it to her.

We dressed quickly and headed for the forest, running easily toward to the main house. Although she hadn't voiced the challenge, I knew Bella was trying to race me again when she pulled her hand free of mine and increased her pace.

But I wasn't going to coddle her physically any more. I broke into a sprint, passed her, and arrived at the back door a good ten seconds before she did. I said nothing about my victory, but gave her a sly grin. She rolled her eyes and peered through the window.

Renesmee was already awake, sitting on the floor while Rose and Emmett watched, apparently amusing herself by mangling the silverware. She was surrounded by a small pile of twisted spoons. When she saw us through the glass she tossed the bent spoon in her hand to the floor, taking a chunk out of the hardwood. She pointed towards us and Bella bounded through the door joyfully, scooping our daughter up into her arms in an instant. The rest of the family was sitting on the couch, chuckling at the demise of the last spoon.

Renesmee and Bella grinned at each other, although I could see Bella's eyes scanning the child's small frame, looking for evidence of further growth. I could tell there were a few changes since last night, but nothing too remarkable or concerning. In fact, it seemed to me that the changes were less noticeable than yesterday's. I glanced at Carlisle questioningly.

_Yes_, he nodded once, acknowledging my unspoken query. He said nothing aloud, not wanting to alarm Bella. _Her growth is slightly less pronounced than it was yesterday, or the day before. By a fraction of an inch, but it's something._

Renesmee patted Bella's cheek with her tiny palm impatiently. She was hungry. I turned back to the kitchen to find her cup.

"How long has she been up?" I heard Bella ask.

"Just a few minutes," Rose answered. "We would have called you soon. She's been asking for you—_demanding _might be a better description. Esme sacrificed her second-best silver service to keep the little monster entertained." There was a slight pause. "We didn't want to...er, bother you."

She was trying not to laugh, but Emmett was not quite as delicate. He made no sound, but I could tell from his thoughts that his shoulders were shaking with mirth at our expense. _Yeah, Edward, we definitely didn't want to do _that_. God only knows that after all this time, you've earned a few uninterrupted hours. I hope you used them wisely. You knew what to do, right? _

I rolled my eyes and didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. He was like an overgrown twelve-year-old.

_You're certainly relaxed, by Edward standards._ Now it was Jasper chiming in. _So I guess I can assume you found everything successfully...in the cottage, I mean, of course._

I chose to ignore that, too. Brothers.

"We'll get your room set up right away," Bella was saying to Renesmee. "You'll like the cottage. It's magic." More Emmett: _Is that a wise idea? You'll have to put her to bed with earplugs, won't you?_

I heard Bella thank Esme for the cottage, but before Esme could reply, Emmett had burst into a fit of laughter out loud. "So it's still standing? I would've thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?"

Bella chose not to give that a response either. Instead she changed the subject. "Where're the wolves today?"

"Jacob took off this morning pretty early," Rosalie told her. He hadn't told her why, which made her suspicious. He never left Renesmee's side voluntarily, and I got an image from her mind of his face before he left, his mouth pressed into a determined line, features set and tensed. "Seth followed him out."

"What was he so upset about?" I asked as I returned to the room with Renesmee's cup. I had intended to hand it to Bella, but saw her nose wrinkle slightly at the smell of the fresh blood. She held her breath and handed Renesmee to Rosalie wordlessly. Apparently she didn't completely trust her self-control yet.

"I don't know—or care," Rosalie grumbled as she settled Renesmee back in her arms and took the cup. Renesmee was mildly irritated that she was no longer in her mother's arms, but was more interested in the contents of her cup. "He was watching Nessie sleep, his mouth hanging open like the moron he is, and then he just jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger—that I noticed, anyway—and stormed out." She snorted haughtily. "_I _was glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we'll ever get the smell out."

"Rose," Esme chided gently.

Rosalie just tossed her hair. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We won't be here that much longer."

"I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up," Emmett said. Apparently that had been the topic of conversation amongst the family last night. If Jacob had overheard it, no wonder he had been upset. "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn't look like it will take her all that long to be able to handle school." He turned to Bella with a teasing smirk. "I'm sure you'll ace your classes...apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study." _You can help her with that, right, Edward? Since you don't have anything more interesting to do, either?_

Part of me almost wanted to tell Emmett how _interesting_ our evening had been last night so that he would shut up already, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Or embarrass Bella that way. She was nowhere near comfortable enough yet with how open our family generally was with each other. Between our enhanced senses and the gifts Alice, Jasper and I had, not much in the way of privacy was really possible.

I was about to say something else to silence him when I was suddenly interrupted by another mind nearby, someone headed toward our house...someone full of joy and contentment and satisfaction and...

No.

Surely not even _he_ would be that stupid...that presumptuous...that _reckless_.

Unbidden, a growl ripped through my chest. At the same time, Alice leapt to her feet.

"What is he _doing_? What is that _dog_ doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can't see _anything_! No!" She looked at Bella frantically. "Look at you! You _need_ me to show you how to use your closet."

She didn't know the half of it.

I clenched my hands into fists to restrain the urge to rip the front door off its hinges and intercept him in the street so that I could finally tear his idiotic head off. "He talked to Charlie. He thinks Charlie is following after him. Coming here. Today." My voice was a furious snarl.

The thoughts of our family erupted into a chaos of confusion and consternation.

But Alice voiced it best: "_Shit!_" she exclaimed, and raced out the back door. She was headed for the cottage and some supplies for Bella she had left there.

If Bella could have gotten any paler, she would have. "He told Charlie?" she gasped. "But—doesn't he understand? How could he do that? No!"

_No_, I thought bitterly, _the bloody moron does _not_ understand. Even though he always seems to think he knows better than anyone about what's best for them._ My teeth ground together. The fool had no idea what he'd done, how he'd single-handedly endangered Charlie's life—in more ways than one. "Jacob's on his way in now," I growled.

Jacob stepped through the front door without knocking, shaking the rain from his hair and splattering water everywhere just like an actual golden retriever, his mood blood-boilingly buoyant. His grin was infuriatingly wide. Clueless. "Hey, guys."

Similarly uninvited, Leah and Seth slipped in the door behind him in human form. They both knew what Jacob had just done and neither of them agreed with him, but for very different reasons. Leah simply didn't want him to become more involved in our family, and sensed that this unilateral move of his was not going to be received well by us. Seth, the youngest but apparently the most sensible of the lot, hadn't felt it was Jacob's place to do what he had done, and knew that it put Charlie in danger.

Like the rest of us, Renesmee had frozen with the tension in the room. Her thoughts were confused, knowing something was wrong but unable to fathom what it could possibly have to do with her friend, Jacob. She was still when Bella took her from Rosalie and held her tightly. Bella seemed to need to place a barrier between herself and Jacob, to give her hands something to do so they wouldn't reach out and crush his skull.

"Charlie'll be here soon," Jacob announced, as casually as though he were telling us it was raining outside. "Just a heads-up. I assume Alice is getting you sunglasses or something?" He had seen her go sprinting across the back lawn.

My fury was making it difficult for me to maintain a coherent train of thought. He was so very lucky that I had so many decades of practice with my self-control.

"You assume _way_ too much," Bella hissed at him. It was about time she noticed that. "What. Have. You. _Done?_"

Jacob's smile wavered a little, but he was still pleased with his morning's work. "Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning going on and on about you all moving cross-country. Like I could let you leave. Charlie was the biggest issue there, right? Well, problem solved."

"Do you even _realize_ what you've done? The danger you've put him in?"

He snorted. No, he had no appreciation for it whatsoever. "I didn't put him in danger. Except from you. But you've got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind reading, if you ask me. Much less exciting."

I could restrain myself no longer.

I darted across the room until I was right in the idiot's face, snarling at him in my fury. I don't think I had ever wanted to kill him as much as I wanted to right at that moment, and that was saying a _lot_. "That's just a _theory_, mongrel," I hissed, and he leaned away, startled by my anger. _Jeez, Cullen, calm down..._ "You think we should test it out on _Charlie?_" I continued, ignoring his mental entreaty. "Did you consider the physical pain you're putting Bella through, even if she can resist? Or the emotional pain if she doesn't? I suppose what happens to Bella no longer concerns _you_!"

The smile finally evaporated from his face. He seemed to be grasping the significance of what I'd said—and I hadn't even mentioned the danger posed by the Volturi yet.

"Bella will be in pain?" he asked stupidly, the only question he could think of to ask as his mind rolodexed through what he had done this morning.

"Like you've shoved a white-hot branding iron down her throat!" I shouted.

I rarely shout.

"I didn't know that," Jacob whispered.

"Then perhaps you should have asked first," I snapped.

"You would have stopped me."

"You _should _have been stopped—"

Bella interrupted the tongue-lashing I was about to dish out. "This isn't about me. This is about Charlie, Jacob. How could you put him in danger this way? Do you realize it's death or vampire life for him now, too?" Her voice trembled, but I was too furious to go to her and try to comfort her. Besides, she was right. If the Volturi felt Charlie Swan knew the secret...

Jacob's brow creased with his frown, but he wasn't worried about what Bella had said...because the way he saw it, he hadn't actually _told_ Charlie anything. "Relax, Bella. I didn't tell him anything you weren't planning to tell him."

"But he's coming here!"

"Yeah, that's the idea. Wasn't the whole 'let him make the wrong assumptions' thing your plan? I think I provided a very nice red herring, if I do say so myself."

"Say it straight, Jacob. I don't have the patience for this," Bella said, her voice low.

"I didn't tell him anything about you, Bella. Not really. I told him about _me_. Well, _show_ is probably a better verb."

I saw the entire scene as it had unfolded from Jacob's mind, but I certainly wasn't as convinced as he was that what followed would be harmless. And what he'd done...I was surprised Charlie hadn't had a heart attack on the spot. Charlie Swan's was not a mind easily open to the supernatural. "He phased in front of Charlie," I told her, impatient that he get to the point.

"You _what?_" she whispered incredulously.

"He's brave. Brave as you are. Didn't pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should've seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless," he chuckled.

I wanted to knock him through the wall. He had realized Charlie might have a negative reaction to what he planned to do, but _still_ went ahead with it. For all he knew, Charlie _could_ have had a heart attack on the spot.

Bella concluded the same thing. "You absolute _moron_! You could have given him a heart attack!"

"Charlie's fine. He's tough. If you'd give this just a minute, you'll see that I did you a favour here."

"You have half of that, Jacob," Bella growled. "You have thirty seconds to tell me every single word before I give Renesmee to Rosalie and rip your miserable head off. Seth won't be able to stop me this time."

Renesmee's ears perked up at the sound of her name. She still knew something was wrong, but was unable to figure out what it was. She knew Mommy was mad at Jacob but had no idea why.

"Jeez, Bells. You didn't used to be so melodramatic. Is that a vampire thing?" The snarky comment was directed at me, what he'd seen of my past behaviour. My fists clenched even tighter against the urge to rip him to shreds.

"Twenty-six seconds."

Jacob had the audacity to roll his eyes and flop down into a chair. Seth and Leah inched forward so that they stood just behind the chair, on either side of him, ready to phase on a moment's notice. Leah watched Bella through narrowed eyes, almost hoping for the chance to repay her for the anguish she felt Bella had caused Jacob. Seth merely looked nervous. He shot me a quick, apologetic glance. _I tried to stop him, man..._

Sucking in a breath, Jacob started to explain. "So I knocked on Charlie's door this morning and asked him to come for a walk with me. He was confused, but when I told him it was about you and that you were back in town, he followed me out to the woods. I told him you weren't sick anymore, and that things were a little weird, but good. He was about to take off to see you, but I told him I had to show him something first. And then I phased." He shrugged, making the encounter seem like it had been much more casual than it actually had. He was skimming over the confusion and hurt he'd seen on Charlie's face when he'd told Charlie his daughter was back in town but hadn't contacted him. The fact that he'd actually had to grab Charlie when Charlie had turned to dash for his car and make him stand still to watch him phase. The look of absolute shock—and terror—on Charlie's features when the young man in front of him suddenly turned into a horse-sized wolf. That Charlie had actually clutched at his chest and staggered on his feet at the sight.

But perhaps most infuriatingly of all, Jacob knew I was seeing this.

And he was banking on the fact that my desire to avoid upsetting Bella—especially now—would keep me from relaying any of this to her. The one thing he had mocked me for the most, my propensity to shelter her, and he was using it now for his own benefit.

_Oh, I will remember this, Jacob Black. There _will_ be repercussions. _

"I want every word, you monster," Bella hissed through clenched teeth.

"Well, you said I only had thirty seconds..." he started, but backed away when he saw how furious her expression still remained. "Okay, okay. Lemme see...I phased back and got dressed, and then after he started breathing again, I said something like, 'Charlie, you don't live in the world you thought you lived in. The good news is, nothing has changed—except that now you know. Life'll go on the same way it always has. You can go right back to pretending that you don't believe any of this.'

"It took him a minute to get his head together, and then he wanted to know what was really going on with you, with the whole rare-disease thing. I told him that you _had_ been sick, but you were fine now—it was just that you'd had to change a little bit in the process of getting better. He wanted to know what I meant by 'change,' and I told him that you looked a lot more like Esme now than you looked like Renee."

I hissed at the vision in his mind of Charlie's face when he'd said that: the pallor as all the blood drained out of his cheeks, the light sheen of sweat that had broken out over his forehead...and finally, the look of vague comprehension, still tinged with horror.

Jacob pressed on. "After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, 'She wishes she was that cool.'" He chuckled and Rosalie snorted her disgust.

"I started to tell him more about werewolves, but I didn't even get the whole word out—Charlie cut me off and said he'd 'rather not know the specifics.' Then he asked if you'd known what you were getting yourself into when you married Edward, and I said, 'Sure, she's known all about this for years, since she first came to Forks.' He didn't like _that_ very much." He couldn't resist shooting me the briefest of smug glances as he remembered the words that had come out of Charlie's mouth, the things he had said about me. But I retained some satisfaction in the knowledge it was unlikely Charlie would have been any keener on his only daughter marrying a werewolf, either. "I let him rant till he got it out of his system. After he got calmed down, he just wanted two things. He wanted to see you, and I said it would be better if he gave me a head start to explain."

Bella sucked in a deep breath. "What was the other thing he wanted?"

Jacob smiled. "You'll like this. His main request is that he be told as little as possible about _all _of this. If it's not absolutely essential for him to know something, then keep it to yourself. Need to know, only."

A small amount of relief flashed over Bella's features. "I can handle that part."

"Other than that, he'd just like to pretend things are normal."

Bella seemed to contemplate that for a moment. "What did you tell him about Renesmee?" I saw her shoulders relax and her tight grip on the baby in her arms loosen slightly.

"Oh yeah. So I told him that you and Edward had inherited a new little mouth to feed. She's your orphaned ward—like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson." He snorted a short laugh. "I didn't think you'd mind me lying. That's all part of the game, right?" He glanced in my direction, knowing that the family had already had a discussion about how we would explain Renesmee to any humans we encountered. While it would have been simplest of all to tell anyone who asked that she was Carlisle's and Esme's, even when Bella had still been unconscious the idea hadn't sat well with me. I wanted the world to know that she was somehow _ours_, even if it was obvious we were merely teenagers.

Jacob continued. "Charlie was way past being shocked at this point, but he did ask if you were adopting her. 'Like a daughter? Like I'm sort of a grandfather?' were his exact words. I told him yes. 'Congrats, Gramps,' and all of that. He even smiled a little."

I felt my own clenched fists relax infinitesimally at the image of a very real smile on Charlie's face, albeit an uncertain one.

"But she's changing so fast," Bella whispered.

"I told him that she was more special than all of us put together," Jacob said quietly. He stood up and walked over toward Bella, though his eyes were fixed on Renesmee. He waved Seth and Leah off when they moved to follow him. He was back to being quite confident that what he had done was for the best.

Renesmee reached out to Jacob, but Bella squeezed her more tightly against her chest.

"I told him, 'Trust me, you don't want to know about this. But if you can ignore all the strange parts, you're going to be amazed. She's the most wonderful person in the whole world.' And then I told him that if he could deal with that, you all would stick around for a while and he would have a chance to get to know her. But that if it was too much for him, you would leave. He said as long as no one forced too much information on him, he'd deal." He paused, waiting for Bella's reaction.

"I'm not going to say thank you," she said firmly. "You're still putting Charlie at a huge risk."

"I _am_ sorry about it hurting you. I didn't know it was like that." I growled quietly, but he ignored me. "Bella, things are different with us now, but you'll always be my best friend, and I'll always love you. But I'll love you the right way now. There's finally a balance. We _both_ have people we can't live without." He grinned at her. "Still friends?"

We both watched Bella's face. I was still profoundly irritated by his presumption, the risk he'd taken and the jeopardy that Charlie was still in, but I could tell that she had softened considerably. Leaving Charlie had been one of her greatest fears, and it was possible that Jacob had just handed her at least a temporary way around it.

Provided she didn't give in to the urge to drink her own father dry.

The corners of her lips turned up into a very small smile.

The capacity of this woman to forgive and accept never ceased to astound me. I shook my head imperceptibly when Jacob extended a hand to her in a conciliatory gesture and she accepted it, squeezing for a brief moment.

"If I don't kill Charlie tonight, I'll consider forgiving you for this."

"_When_ you don't kill Charlie tonight, you'll owe me huge."

She rolled her eyes at him.

He reached his arms out toward Renesmee. "Can I?"

"I'm actually holding her so that my hands aren't free to kill you, Jacob. Maybe later."

He sighed but didn't ask again.

Alice suddenly burst back into the room from the direction of the kitchen and the back door, a frenzied expression creasing her features.

"You, you, and you," she snapped at each of the wolves. "If you must stay, get over in the corner and commit to being there for a while. I need to _see_. Bella, you'd better give him the baby, too. You'll need your arms free, anyway."

The calmness that had started to settle onto Bella's features evaporated with Alice's words and demeanour. Alice was in _preparation_ mode, meaning that Bella's moment of actually coming face-to-face with her father was almost upon her. I heard her gasp with anxiety. "Take her," she murmured, handing Renesmee to Jacob. He noticed her nervous expression, too, and frowned with concern. He said nothing, however, as he and Seth retreated to a far corner of the room.

Leah didn't move at first. She looked frustrated and uncomfortable, and her thoughts were still tinged with a low level of rage directed at Bella. If I didn't have much larger concerns at the moment, I would have thrown her out.

"Am I allowed to leave?" she muttered darkly.

"Of course," Jacob told her.

"Stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path," Alice added. Leah gave no sign that she had heard her, but stomped directly to the back door and into the forest behind.

I took a deep breath. The situation was what it was now, and I needed to help Bella find her strength. I stepped to her side and stroked her cheek with my palm. "You can do this. I know you can. I'll help you; we all will." She looked at me doubtfully, panic filling her eyes. I didn't blame her a bit for it, but was reassured by Alice. _Those dogs aren't making it easy for me to see, but it was clearer when I was in the forest away from the stench. I think it will be okay, Edward._

I generally didn't bet against Alice, and did my best to find words of comfort for my wife. "If I didn't believe you could handle it, we'd disappear today. This very minute. But you can. And you'll be happier if you can have Charlie in your life." That much was true. And while I couldn't be certain Bella could resist his human scent, there were enough of us here to protect him if things...went off the rails.

Bella nodded and tried to slow her breathing.

Alice handed her a small white box containing contact lenses. "These will irritate your eyes—they won't hurt, but they'll cloud your vision. It's annoying. They also won't match your old color, but it's still better than bright red, right?"

Bella examined the little box. "When did you—"

"Before you left on the honeymoon," Alice shrugged. "I was prepared for several possible futures." I hadn't caught it previously, but was slightly amused now to see that Alice had predicted there was a possibility I would change Bella by myself while we were on the island...perhaps out of frustration if we had been unable to touch each other after all. _Not that I didn't have complete faith in you, brother_, she added half-apologetically.

Bella merely nodded and set about getting the brown-coloured contact lenses into her eyes. She blinked against them furiously. "I see what you mean." She turned to me. "How do I look?"

I smiled. They were nowhere near her human colour, that warm, incomparable chocolate brown. But at least they weren't fiery red. "Gorgeous. Of course—"

"Yes, yes, she always looks gorgeous," Alice interrupted impatiently. _Save your ogling for later, Edward._ "It's better than red, but that's the highest commendation I can give. Muddy brown. Your brown was much prettier. Keep in mind that those won't last forever—the venom in your eyes will dissolve them in a few hours. So if Charlie stays longer than that, you'll have to excuse yourself to replace them. Which is a good idea anyway, because humans need bathroom breaks." She looked over at our adoptive mother. "Esme, give her a few pointers on acting human while I stock the powder room with contacts."

"How long do I have?"

"Charlie will be here in five minutes. Keep it simple."

Esme nodded and stepped forward to take Bella's hand. "The main thing is not to sit too still or move too fast."

"Sit down if he does," Emmett interjected, trying to help. "Humans don't like to just stand there."

"Let your eyes wander every thirty seconds or so," Jasper added. "Humans don't stare at one thing for too long."

"Cross your legs for about five minutes, then switch to crossing your ankles for the next five," Rosalie chimed in.

Bella looked from face to face as they spoke, nodding.

"And blink at least three times a minute." It occurred to Emmett that a human family wouldn't just be sitting around in a big group staring at each other on a Saturday. He darted off to find the television remote and turned it on to a college football game.

"Move your hands, too. Brush your hair back or pretend to scratch something," Jasper told her.

"I said _Esme_," Alice muttered when she returned to the room. "You'll overwhelm her."

"No, I think I got it all," Bella nodded again, her expression one of concentration. "Sit, look around, blink, fidget."

"Right." Esme smiled reassuringly and gave her a squeeze around the shoulders.

Jasper thought about what he usually did when there were humans around. "You'll be holding your breath as much as possible, but you need to move your shoulders a little to make it _look_ like you're breathing." He often had a hard time with that one himself, and it made him look rather rigid and uncomfortable to the outside eye.

Bella took a deep breath and gave another nod. I hugged her from my place at her side. "You can do this," I murmured into her ear.

"Two minutes," Alice announced. "Maybe you should start out already on the couch. You've been sick, after all. That way he won't have to see you move right at first." Alice pulled Bella to the sofa.

"Jacob, I need Renesmee," she said, and Jacob frowned. He didn't want Renesmee in the path of fire if Bella actually _did_ lose it with Charlie around.

How irritating that he should think of these things _now_. Unbelievable idiot.

Alice shook her head in protest. "Bella, that doesn't help me see."

"But I _need_ her. She keeps me calm." And would give her something to do with her hands.

"Fine," Alice groaned. "Hold her as still as you can and I'll _try _to see around her." Reluctantly, Jacob brought Renesmee to Bella, then retreated back to his corner when Alice glared at him.

I sat down next to Bella and wrapped my arms around both her and our child in her lap. I leaned forward and looked at Renesmee seriously. I hoped she would fully understand what I was about to tell her. "Renesmee, someone special is coming to see you and your mother. But he's not like us, or even like Jacob. We have to be very careful with him. You shouldn't tell him things the way you tell us."

She reached up and put a palm on my cheek. _Not this?_

"Exactly. And he's going to make you thirsty. But you mustn't bite him. He won't heal like Jacob." She had a fleeting vision of her teeth marks in Jacob's forearm, the crescent-shaped wound sealing over within a few seconds.

"Can she understand you?" Bella whispered.

I knew from Renesmee's thoughts that she understood enough. She may not know why this new person was different, but she knew already that there were differences between the rest of our family, herself and Jacob. That someone else would be different again wasn't a surprise to her. She also understood from my tone that what I was saying was very important. "She understands," I said. "You'll be careful, won't you, Renesmee? You'll help us?"

She touched my cheek again unnecessarily. She hadn't figured out yet that this wasn't needed with me. She showed me the same vision of her teeth marks in Jacob's forearm and looked at me questioningly. _Okay?_

"No, I don't care if you bite Jacob. That's fine."

Jacob chuckled, reminding me yet again of his presence.

It seemed to me that he'd done more than enough for one day. "Maybe you should leave, Jacob," I said flatly, glaring at him. This situation was hardly resolved. Even if Bella didn't actually harm Charlie, she'd be feeling the burn in her throat worse than she had yet. I knew what that pain was like. I wasn't even looking forward to the proximity of a human in the room, and I'd had years and years to get used to it.

"I told Charlie I'd be here," he protested. "He needs the moral support."

"Moral support," I snorted. "As far as Charlie knows, you're the most repulsive monster of us all."

"Repulsive?" he repeated. _At least I don't drink blood, bloodsucker. At least I have body heat. And I don't feel like I'm carved out of marble._ He laughed quietly to himself but didn't move from his spot in the corner.

We heard tires turn from the highway onto the long driveway that lead to the house. Bella's breathing quickened again, but otherwise she remained still. In a moment or two, she seemed to have her breathing back under control.

I wasn't sure what she had done to calm herself, but Jasper felt it, too. "Well done, Bella," he whispered.

I tightened my arm around her shoulders.

"You're sure?" she asked again quietly.

"Positive," I assured her. "You can do anything." I smiled and couldn't resist the urge to kiss away the anxious turn of her soft lips. The usual bolt of electricity coursed through me when our mouths touched, and she seemed to feel it, too: her breathing sped up again, but this time for an entirely different reason.

Jasper cleared his throat quietly. "Er, Edward, you might not want to distract her like that right now. She needs to be able to focus."

I pulled away sheepishly. "Oops."

Bella chuckled at the fact that I was stealing her line, her "oops" from the very first time we had ever kissed and she had nearly cracked my self-control with her unexpected show of eagerness. "Later," she whispered.

"Focus, Bella," Jasper insisted, and I wondered what he was sensing. I thought I had a good idea, but it was so much harder to tell when I couldn't measure her heart rate or watch her flush.

Nonetheless, I was filled with a sudden sense of pride that I could make her react that way. The only difficulty was that she made me react that way, too. _Focus, Edward._ Jasper didn't say it aloud, but the direction was more teasing than it had been for Bella.

Bella muttered something in response to Jasper that I was too distracted to hear, but he had to remind her again less than a second later. "Bella."

"Sorry, Jasper."

_You must be more distracting—and talented—than I would have given you credit for, Edward_, Emmett teased, laughing at his own joke.

We heard the car cruise closer and closer to the house, everyone in the room silent, waiting. When it pulled up out front and stopped, the engine idled for a few seconds before it cut off. There was another second or two of silence, then the door opened and slammed shut. Footsteps crossed the driveway and up the front steps. There was more silence, the sound of two deep breaths being taken outside the door, then knocking.

Charlie Swan's thoughts had never been entirely clear to me, partly, I assumed, because he was one half of whatever genetic combination had created the silent mind that was Bella's, and partly because he was such a quiet and reserved person anyway that I had to focus to find his mind in a crowd. Unless the thoughts were particularly forceful and clear, directed right at me—as they had been when I had returned with Bella from Italy, for example—I was restricted to picking up more of a sense of what he was thinking rather than individual words and images.

Right now—he was nervous. He had no idea what he was about to see, and while he was prepared to face it for the sake of his only child, he was still on edge.

Bella took a last deep breath of her own and Renesmee snuggled into her arms, hiding her face in her mother's long hair. After my warning, she was a little nervous about the stranger coming, too. I stroked her bronze ringlets with my free hand and she relaxed slightly under my touch.

Carlisle, who had remained largely quiet all morning, his thoughts a tumult of concern and advanced planning, figuring out a course of action for the family should everything suddenly fall apart, rearranged his features and stepped up to answer the door. "Hello, Charlie."

"Carlisle," Charlie's greeting was stilted. He was annoyed at the entire family, knowing now that we hadn't been honest with him when we'd had the welfare of his daughter in our hands. "Where's Bella?"

"Right here, Dad," she spoke up without hesitation.

Charlie seemed confused. He recognized the voice that had called out to him...yet didn't. It wasn't the same. He wondered what she'd changed into. A pixie? A unicorn? No...Jacob had said no animals.

His eyes scanned the room and found Bella's. They widened in shock, and his facial features twisted rapidly through a range of emotions. I could pick them up from his mind, but they were more than obvious from his expression: Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain.

But also some relief. At least she was alive. I was relieved myself to find that it hadn't occurred to him she...wasn't.

"Is that you, Bella?" he finally whispered.

"Yep. Hi, Dad."

Charlie took another deep breath.

"Hey, Charlie," Jacob said cheerfully from his spot on the floor in the corner. "How're things?"

Charlie just glared at him and shuddered. It was petty of me, but I was rather glad to see Charlie react to Jacob Black for once the way he usually reacted to me.

Charlie turned his gaze back to Bella, and slowly started across the room toward her. He stopped a few steps away, pausing to direct a glare my way this time. At least I was used to it. He seemed to sense that this was all my fault in some way, but had absolutely no clue as to how that could be. As Jacob had said, it was equally clear that he really didn't want to know, either.

His eyes turned again to Bella. "Bella?" he asked uncertainly. It was her, he knew it was her. She looked enough like her old self that it would be impossible not to recognize her, but the changes were equally obvious, even to a human eye.

Bella replied in a lower, quieter voice, perhaps sensing that it no longer had the same timbre it once had. "It's really me." When he just continued to stare at her, she spoke again. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Are you okay?" he demanded, again darting a suspicious look my way.

"Really and truly great," she replied. "Healthy as a horse."

He stared some more. He was having a hard time coming up with any kind of explanation for what he was seeing. She wasn't an animal, that much had been true, but she wasn't the same Bella, either. His mind flickered to a few images of Jacob from the last year or so, one minute a gangly adolescent, the next minute so much taller and more muscular. At the time, Charlie had been able to chalk that up to some kind of spectacular growth spurt, but now he was second-guessing.

"Jake told me this was...necessary," Charlie finally said. "That you were dying."

Bella tensed and leaned further into the arm I still had around her shoulders. I knew she had run out of air from the last few words she'd spoken, and would need more to be able to speak again. I dug my fingertips into her shoulder, trying to keep a hold on her without being too obvious about it. She took a long moment to gather herself together, and I could feel the waves of calm emanating from Jasper as he did what he could to help them both.

"Jacob was telling you the truth," she eventually managed.

"That makes one of you," her father growled. He wished that someone had told him some part of this sooner, before so many weeks of such stress and grief.

He wondered what he was going to say to Bella's mother. Whether we would ever tell her, too.

It was hardly a moment for levity, but I couldn't help being amused when he concluded that Renee just might not have too much of a problem with it. She'd always been a little 'out there' herself, as he called it.

I heard Renesmee sniff the air from her spot under Bella's long tresses. The human scent in the room hit her, too, not as strongly as it hit the rest of us, but she was certainly curious. It made her thirsty, just as I had told her it would.

Bella's hold on the baby in her arms tightened, and Charlie looked down. "Oh," he managed to squawk, and all traces of irritation about being lied to drained from his face. Now he merely looked shocked again. "This is her. The orphan Jacob said you're adopting."

"My niece," I lied. I knew he would see the resemblance between her features and mine, especially her bronze-coloured hair. It was too unusual to leave unexplained.

"I thought you'd lost your family," Charlie said, the first words he had directed my way.

"I lost my parents. My older brother was adopted, like me. I never saw him after that. But the courts located me when he and his wife died in a car accident, leaving their only child without any other family." I was a little disgusted with myself as I listened to the words roll off my tongue. I was way too good a liar. It wasn't an admirable trait.

Renesmee leaned forward just enough to peek up at Charlie, then quickly hid her face again.

"She's...she's, well, she's a beauty," Charlie murmured, turning his attention back to her. He hadn't gotten a very clear look at her face, but he was admiring her long ringlets and chubby fists.

"Yes," I agreed.

"Kind of a big responsibility, though. You two are just getting started."

"What else could we do?" I reached out to stroke my daughter's cheek gently, hoping to reassure her. She was still nervous, confused about the tasty-smelling stranger she wasn't allowed to bite. I pressed my fingertip to her lips briefly to remind her of that. "Would you have refused her?"

"Hmph. Well." Charlie grunted and shook his head, not prepared to answer that question. He was full of questions about the implications of this new life with ours, whether it would interfere with Bella's plans for college, her future. "Jake says you call her Nessie?"

"No, we don't," Bella replied immediately, with a sharp edge to her voice. "Her name is Renesmee."

Charlie looked at her with a frown. He wondered whether this was something else I was forcing her into. "How do you feel about this? Maybe Carlisle and Esme could—"

"She's mine," Bella interrupted. She almost snapped at him. "I _want _her."

His frowned deepened. "You gonna make me a grandpa so young?"

I mustered a smile. "Carlisle is a grandfather, too."

That made him think. He glanced over at Carlisle, young, blond, fresh from the pages of a fine menswear catalogue. He snorted and then laughed at the idea of Carlisle as a grandfather. "I guess that does sort of make me feel better." He turned his eyes back down to Renesmee. "She sure is something to look at."

Renesmee caught another full whiff of Charlie's scent, wafted her way by a slight draft in the room. She leaned forward again reflexively, this time far enough that she fully emerged from the protection of Bella's hair and looked him full in the face for the first time.

Charlie gasped sharply. It was her eyes—Bella's eyes, _his_ eyes—chocolate brown, shaped exactly the same way, as though they'd been Xeroxed from her mother's face and reproduced on her own. _What the...?_ He was so shocked, the words were loud and clear from his mind.

He started to hyperventilate as he forced his mind to compute the number of weeks since he'd last seen Bella, what she'd looked like in her form-fitting wedding gown and then the going-away outfit she had had on when we left the reception for our honeymoon. His lips were trembling as he counted. _Impossible! Impossible!_ his mind screamed. His eyes were frozen open, unblinking as he stared from Bella's face to Renesmee's to mine and back again.

The resemblance to both of us was too much. He knew Renesmee was ours. He just couldn't make it make sense.

Jacob stood and came over to pat Charlie gently on the back. "Need to know, Charlie. It's okay. I promise," he whispered in Charlie's ear.

Charlie swallowed hard and nodded. He gave his head a quick shake and took a step toward me with his fists tightly clenched. He couldn't yell at Bella, not when he was seeing her for the first time after being so worried about her, but he didn't mind directing his anger at me. "I don't want to know everything, but I'm done with the lies!"

"I'm sorry," I told him, keeping my voice calm. I decided to answer him as honestly as I could, while respecting his wishes to be told only what he absolutely had to know. And what would hopefully insulate him from the wrath of the Volturi. He deserved that much. "But you need to know the public story more than you need to know the truth. If you're going to be part of this secret, the public story is the one that counts. It's to protect Bella and Renesmee as well as the rest of us." I looked at him evenly. "Can you go along with the lies for them?"

No one moved or breathed, waiting for his reaction.

I expected Charlie to be conflicted, at least for a few minutes, but his decision was instantaneous. He knew what his choices were: either he had to accept this without question, or we would have to leave. He huffed and then turned his anger to Bella. "You might've given me some warning, kid."

"Would it really have made this any easier?" she asked.

He frowned and then knelt on the floor in front of her. The scent of his blood, only a few shades less delectable to me than Bella's had been, was overpowering from this close. Renesmee really wanted to give him a bite, and I knew Bella would be struggling even more.

Renesmee smiled at him shyly and reached toward him with one little hand. Bella restrained her, so she reached up and placed her other palm on Bella's neck. She was thirsty and curious, but still had my warning in mind.

"Whoa," Charlie gasped once again, having noticed Renesmee's perfect set of baby teeth. "How old is she?"

"Um..." Bella looked at me with wide eyes, unsure what to say.

I already knew from discussions with Carlisle what the appropriate answer would be by human standards. "Three months. Or rather, she's the size of a three-month-old, more or less. She's younger in some ways," _like chronologically_, "more mature in others."

Renesmee's smile widened at the attention she was getting from the new stranger. She waved at him tentatively.

Charlie could only blink.

"Told you she was special, didn't I?" Jacob said, elbowing him. An image of the horse-sized wolf flashed through Charlie's mind and he cringed at Jacob's touch. "Oh, c'mon, Charlie," Jacob groaned. "I'm the same person I've always been. Just pretend this morning didn't happen."

Charlie pressed his lips together tightly. He nodded once. "Just what _is_ your part in all this, Jake? How much does Billy know? Why are you here?" He looked at Jacob's face, but Jacob was fixated on Renesmee adoringly.

_Ugh._

"Well, I could tell you all about it—Billy knows absolutely everything—but it involves a lot of stuff about werewo—"

"Ungh!" Charlie clapped his hands over his ears. The less he heard, he figured, the less he had to believe it, despite what he saw right in front of his own eyes. Bella had been right: he preferred blissful ignorance, even if it was self-imposed. "Never mind."

Jacob grinned. "Everything's going to be great, Charlie. Just try to not believe anything you see."

Charlie muttered something under his breath. It wasn't really intelligible, but from his thoughts I sensed that it was just a string of profanities.

"Woo!" Emmett called out suddenly from his spot by the TV. He had decided Charlie needed distracting. Grounding. Football was something he could wrap his head around easily. "Go Gators!"

Charlie had been startled by the sound of Emmett's voice, but he quickly recovered. He glanced at Emmett over his shoulder. "Florida winning?"

"Just scored the first touchdown," Emmett nodded. He waggled he eyebrows at Bella and me suggestively. "'Bout time somebody scored around here."

Bella tensed, embarrassed, but Charlie hadn't even noticed the innuendo. He took in yet another deep breath, stood up, and marched around Jacob to collapse into an armchair next to Emmett's. "Well," he sighed, relieved at the distraction. "I guess we should see if they can hold on to the lead."


	27. Chapter 27: Shiny

Charlie stayed at the house for the rest of the afternoon, although he never really moved from his chair beside Emmett and never really seemed to relax. He watched two football games absently but frequently darted his eyes from the screen to Bella and Renesmee...and to the rest of us, including Jacob. He couldn't seem to keep his mind from analyzing our appearance and our movements, the sound of our voices and the way we interacted. Each time he caught himself doing so, however, he would force his thoughts back to the game, actively refusing to wonder too much, and especially refusing to draw any conclusions.

He had always known there was something slightly odd about me and my family, and now he knew that Bella had somehow become like us. But he refused to know what it was that made us—and now his only child—so different.

When he couldn't focus on the game, he also distracted himself by pondering what was the _same_ about us. Emmett enjoyed and knew as much about college football as any of Charlie's fishing buddies, bantering and joking amiably. Alice was as sweet and charming as any of Bella's girlfriends. Carlisle was every bit the family patriarch, and Esme every bit the caring mother, and now, grandmother. Rosalie was a doting aunt, occupying herself with Renesmee's every move and arguing lightly with Jacob as to whose turn it was to hold her or feed her or do something else for her. Bella and I were typical newlyweds, always in some kind of physical contact, usually whispering to each other and making each other smile.

We were almost the same as any other all-American family on a Saturday afternoon.

Except that we weren't. And he knew it.

Although he never quite relaxed, Charlie didn't appear to be in a hurry to get away from us, either. He wanted to see the environment in which his baby was now living, wanted to know if she was happy. Grudgingly, as he watched her interact with me and Renesmee and the rest of the family, he concluded that she was.

He didn't like whatever it was she had gone through in the past month or so, but he had to admit to himself that Bella was as content as he'd ever seen her. Moreover, he had to admit that she loved me. I knew she did, too, but it was strangely gratifying to have Charlie draw the same conclusion.

When it neared what humans would consider dinnertime, Charlie finally announced that he was going to have to leave. He and Billy Black were having dinner at Sue Clearwater's. I was amused to find that while he was anxious about the dinner now that Jacob had told him Billy knew "everything", he was looking forward to a home-cooked meal so much that that pretty much trumped all other considerations.

To give him and Bella a few moments alone while they said their goodbyes, I drifted over to the piano and started to play softly, absently testing out a few melodies that had been floating through my brain off and on ever since Renesmee was born. I could still hear them talking, of course, as could everyone else in the room.

"I don't know how much we should tell Renee about this," Charlie speculated as he paused in the doorway. While part of him theorized that she was just wacky enough to accept it without blinking, the other part theorized that she was just wacky enough it would send her right over the edge.

I could see Bella nod from the corner of my eye. "I know. I don't want to freak her out. Better to protect her. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted." She was far too used to having the role of parent with Renee.

"I would have tried to protect you, too, if I'd known how," Charlie replied. "But I guess you've never fit into the fainthearted category, have you?" _No, Charlie_, I thought with an wry smile. _She certainly does not._

When Bella didn't reply, he patted his stomach absently. "I'll think of something. We've got time to discuss this, right?"

"Right."

There was a moment of silence as Charlie looked at Bella and Renesmee, asleep in her arms. He knew Seth was outside waiting for him for the trip to Sue's, but seemed reluctant to leave.

He was concerned we wouldn't be here tomorrow.

"Jake says you guys were going to take off on me," he said to Bella quietly.

She sighed. "I didn't want to do that if there was any way at all around it. That's why we're still here."

His mind raced through a number of scenarios, reasons why we felt we would have to leave. The answer was somewhat obvious just from the strangeness, the difference in Bella's appearance and the presence of Renesmee...but he again refused to add that up into an articulate reason why it would mean we would vacate Forks.

"He said you could stay for a while, but only if I'm tough enough and if I can keep my mouth shut."

"Yes...but I can't promise that we'll never leave, Dad. It's pretty complicated..."

Bella's tone was rueful and it made my dead heart clench. No matter how necessary it had been, no matter how much it was her choice, I knew that part of me would never forgive myself for taking her human life away from her, and all that meant in terms of her relationships with her own family.

"Need to know," Charlie muttered, apparently hoping she wasn't going to try and explain any more than that.

"Right."

"You'll visit, though, if you have to go?"

"I promise, Dad," she said firmly. "Now that you know _just_ enough, I think this can work. I'll keep as close as you want."

Charlie hesitated for a moment and then extended his arms toward Bella cautiously, not sure he wanted to touch her but at the same time unable to resist. Ironically, I remembered experiencing a similar feeling not too long ago. But for very different reasons, of course.

Bella shifted Renesmee's weight to one arm and carefully reached out to hug Charlie with the other. Everyone else in the room froze imperceptibly, confident Bella could do it but at the same time braced for the worst. She'd been doing amazingly well all afternoon but I knew from the burning in my own throat that it was far from easy.

Charlie's mind raced at the coolness of Bella's skin and the hardness of her flesh, recognizing it from the times he had shaken hands with me or Carlisle or my brothers, but he continued to refuse to draw a conclusion as to what it meant.

He focused instead on the fact that this was still his Bella. "Keep real close, Bells," he murmured. "Real close."

"Love you, Dad," she whispered. We all exhaled at the same time when the quick embrace was over and both Bella and Charlie took a half step back from each other.

"Love you, too, kid. Whatever else has changed, that hasn't." He tentatively reached out a finger to touch Renesmee's soft cheek. He didn't miss the fact that she was warm, but again refused to speculate as to what that meant. "She sure looks a lot like you."

"More like Edward, I think," Bella replied, and I couldn't suppress a small smile at the idea. I knew that the resemblance between my daughter and me was actually quite striking, but it remained something I somehow struggled to wrap my head around. I had a biological child. Who looked like me. After ninety years of accepting that that would never happen, the fact that it _had_ was going to take some getting used to.

It made me want to rush over and pull both her and Bella into my arms, but I resisted the urge.

"She has your curls," Bella added. Though she couldn't read his mind in even the limited way I could, Bella knew there was no point pretending Renesmee wasn't ours, even if she didn't say it directly to Charlie out loud.

Charlie let out a surprised noise. "Huh. Guess she does. Huh. Grandpa." I could see him shake his head in believing disbelief. "Do I ever get to hold her?"

Again, everyone in the room froze imperceptibly. Rosalie and Jacob both took several steps toward the front door, as quietly and subtly as they could...just in case.

Bella seemed to hesitate for only a few seconds. She glanced down at Renesmee, presumably reassuring herself that the child was still asleep. It was one thing to test her own limits, but to push Renesmee would be another matter altogether. I heard Rosalie suck in a quiet breath when Bella said, "Here," and made a move to hand Renesmee over.

Charlie made an awkward cradle with his arms but eagerly received the sleeping child. He was quiet for a brief moment. "She's...sturdy. Sturdy is good." When he rocked her back and forth a little and Renesmee remained asleep, we all relaxed for the second time. "Prettiest baby I ever saw, including you, kid. Sorry, but it's true."

"I know it is," Bella answered.

"Pretty baby," Charlie repeated, directing it this time at the tiny person in his arms. I was trying not to be obvious by looking up to observe the expression on his face, but Rosalie and Jacob were still watching him carefully. From their minds I could see that he wore a look of adoration...the look we all seemed to wear when we saw Renesmee.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" Charlie asked after a moment or two of gazing down at the little girl's face.

"Sure, Dad. Of course. We'll be here," Bella said.

"You'd better be," he grumbled, but his eyes were apparently still trained on Renesmee's face. "See you tomorrow, Nessie."

"Not you, too!" Bella snapped. Jacob chuckled and I suppressed the urge to slap him in the back of the head. He had been presumptuous in the extreme in doing what he had done with Charlie, but I couldn't dispute the fact that so far at least, it had turned out well. Bella was able to salvage her relationship with her father, at least for now. I couldn't dismiss how much that would mean to her.

"Huh?"

"Her name is _Renesmee_," Bella insisted. "Like Renee and Esme, put together. No variations." I heard her suck in an annoyed breath. "Do you want to hear her middle name?"

"Sure."

"Carlie. With a C. Like Carlisle and Charlie put together."

I was surprised by the burst of pure emotion that emanated from Charlie at hearing that bit of news. He broke into just about the widest smile I had ever seen on his face. "Thanks, Bells."

"Thank _you_, Dad. So much has changed so quickly. My head hasn't stopped spinning. If I didn't have you now, I don't know how I'd keep my grip on—on reality." Although I continued tinkering on the piano as if unphased, Bella's words shook me a little. Of course I knew that she'd been through an astonishing number of changes in the past month or so, and it wasn't surprising that she would have some difficulty adjusting. I supposed I had just hoped that it would be me who was able to ground her and help her through it. I felt like I had perhaps failed her a little, possibly by my own preoccupation with everything that had been happening?

I was resolved to change that immediately. She needed to know I was here for her, no matter what her fears were. I certainly owed her that for everything she had given up to be with me.

Even over the sound of the piano I heard Charlie's stomach growl for at least the second time.

"Go eat, Dad," Bella said with a short chuckle. "We _will_ be here."

I saw Charlie nod and then hand Renesmee back to Bella carefully. The child was so used to sleeping in someone's arms, she barely stirred at the movement. In doing so, he cast another long look back into the living room, where our family was spread out and occupying themselves with various pursuits. We weren't still and what each of us was doing wasn't unusual in itself—Carlisle reading a book, Esme sketching designs in a notebook, Alice and Jasper lounging on the stairs, Rosalie and Emmett working on some kind of house of cards—but Charlie nevertheless seemed to find something odd about the scene before him. He couldn't put his finger on it—and perhaps didn't really want to—but it occurred to him once again that we were just _different_.

And now his only daughter was very much a part of that 'otherness'.

Although I was only barely getting used to the role, as a father myself now, I could appreciate how that might be difficult to accept.

After a few seconds, Charlie sighed. "See you tomorrow, Bella. I mean, it's not like you don't look...good." I nearly growled at the gross understatement. "I'll get used to it."

"Thanks, Dad."

As he finally turned and walked away, Bella stood in the doorway, watching him get into his car and steer down the driveway. "Wow," she whispered to herself, and I practically launched myself off the piano bench to make my way to her side. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulder, squeezing her against me. It felt like it had been far, far too long since I had last held her.

"You took the word right out of my mouth," I murmured in her ear, placing a soft kiss on her earlobe.

"Edward, I did it!" she said happily, looking up at me with a wide smile.

"You did. You were unbelievable. All that worrying over being a newborn, and then you skip it altogether." I chuckled to myself quietly as I kissed her neck this time. I was starting to wonder if my amazing Bella would ever cease to amaze me.

"I'm not even sure she's really a vampire, let alone a newborn," Emmett teased from his spot on the floor next to Rosalie. "She's too _tame_." Bella snarled in response, getting a laugh from Emmett. "Oooo, scary." In true Emmett fashion, he'd been dropping innuendo-laden comments all afternoon, not caring in the least that Bella's father was present, even when the comments were overtly sexual, filled with speculation about the state of the cottage and its furniture, marvelling at the success of our honeymoon as evidenced by the appearance of Renesmee, and so forth. He was trying to provoke us both, but I was far more used to ignoring him than Bella was.

Bella hissed and Renesmee started to stir in her arms. The little girl blinked a few times, casting her sleepy, chocolate brown eyes around the room to see who was doing what. At the sight of those eyes, I thanked fate and the powers that be once again that they had been preserved for me, and in such an incredible way. I grinned at her but she was distracted, searching for the tasty-smelling stranger. She put a palm against Bella's cheek inquisitively.

"Charlie will be back tomorrow," Bella assured her, ignoring Emmett for the moment.

He, however, was too stupid not to poke the sleeping lioness with a large stick. "Excellent." He laughed at the potential for more opportunities to embarrass Bella in front of her father.

"Not brilliant, Emmett," I shook my head, reaching at the same time to take Renesmee from Bella. I had suddenly had an idea as to how she could get revenge on Emmett for his earlier comments. She seemed confused for a moment that I wanted to remove our daughter from her arms, so I gave her a little wink.

"What do you mean?" Emmett demanded.

"It's a little dense, don't you think, to antagonize the strongest vampire in the house?"

Emmett threw his head back and let out a loud, snorting laugh. "_Please!_" I knew that would get his attention.

"Bella," I murmured, knowing Emmett could hear everything I was saying. "Do you remember a few months ago, I asked you to do me a favour once you were immortal?"

She stared back at me, still confused. I could almost hear the gears turning in her mind as she tried to remember what I was talking about. It was clear from her face when she suddenly figured it out. "Oh!"

Alice started to laugh, knowing exactly what was coming—and how it would turn out.

Exactly how I expected it to.

"What?" Emmett growled.

Bella looked at me uncertainly. "Really?"

"Trust me," I told her. Renesmee now had her palm to my cheek, asking what was going on.

Bella took in a deep breath. "Emmett, how do you feel about a little bet?"

Predictably, he was on his feet immediately. "Awesome. Bring it." He didn't even know what the bet was going to be yet, but didn't care. _Don't know what you've put her up to, Edward, but you know I can take it, _he thought smugly_. _Apparently he hadn't clued in to Alice's laughter.

This was going to be _great_.

A flicker of uncertainty crossed Bella's features, and Emmett did not miss it. "Unless you're too afraid...?"

Wrong move. He was such an abject fool sometimes.

His reaction had Bella straightening her shoulders in challenge. "You. Me. Arm-wrestling. Dining room table. Now."

Emmett grinned in anticipation.

Alice had a sudden vision of the dining room table being shattered into splinters. "Er, Bella...I think Esme is fairly fond of that table. It's an antique."

"Thanks," Esme mouthed gratefully, although she was still amused at what was unfolding.

"No problem," Emmett announced, his grin widening. "Right this way, Bella."

We all followed him outside, toward the garage. He was headed for a large boulder near the river, set on using that instead of Esme's table.

Without hesitation, he sidled up to the rock and placed his right elbow on it, waving Bella over.

Bella seemed anxious again as she looked at him, but I wasn't concerned in the least. Emmett ought to have known that if I was encouraging her to do this, I must have been rather convinced of the result. However, his natural cockiness, especially where his strength was concerned, didn't allow him to even consider the possibility of defeat.

Regardless of whatever doubts she had, Bella approached the rock and settled herself across from him, placing her own elbow down and positioning her arm at the ready.

"Okay, Emmett. I win, and you cannot say one more word about my sex life to anyone, not even Rose. No allusions, no innuendos—no nothing."

I smiled to myself. A bet my foolish brother definitely could not resist.

"Deal," he said, without hesitation. "I win, and it's going to get a _lot_ worse." He was already plotting his words for the next time Charlie was around. If I had been capable, I might have blushed myself...except that I was actually a little turned on by the particular _act_ he was thinking of.

I pushed that thought out of my head immediately. _Not appropriate for family time, Edward..._

Emmett sensed Bella's anxiety at his words and grinned deviously. "You gonna back down so easy, little sister? Not much wild about _you_, is there? I bet that cottage doesn't have a scratch." He laughed, taunting. "Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?"

I saw her nostrils flare slightly, then she grabbed his hand, her delicate fingers immersed completely in his big, meaty paw. My breath caught in my throat for a moment. It was so counter-intuitive to stand by while my Bella engaged in a physical confrontation of any kind.

"One, two—" she started.

"Three," Emmett finished with a grunt and started pushing his hand against hers.

The surprise in his mind when the battle wasn't over—and in his favour—in an instant was so comical I couldn't help laughing out loud. Renesmee glanced up at my face curiously, unsure what was so funny. I pointed toward her mother and uncle. "Watch, sweetheart. Mommy's going to make Uncle Emmett look silly."

Bella and Emmett appeared not to notice, each focused on the task at hand. Emmett increased the force he was using, but Bella met it with no obvious difficulty. A string of profanities rolled through my brother's mind as he continued to increase his effort. He grunted with the exertion and his forehead creased in concentration. His body had gone rigid, the strain in his muscles clear.

Bella, by contrast, looked quite calm and collected. If anything, her facial expression suggested that she was enjoying the opportunity to test her strength.

After a few moments where neither hand moved, Bella flicked her wrist slightly. Emmett lost ground, his hand an inch closer to his side of the rock. She laughed and he snarled in response through gritted teeth.

At this point, he was using every ounce of strength he could muster, and he was astonished that Bella barely blinked at the force he must have been exerting against her.

"Just keep your mouth shut," she said finally, and with another flick of her wrist, she smashed his hand down into the boulder. With an ear-shattering crack, the granite shuddered and then split, a sizeable piece separating from the rest and falling to the ground—right on top of Emmett's foot. Bella snickered, but both Jacob and I laughed out loud. The rest of the family was trying to suppress _their_ laughter, while Renesmee was simply delighted by the amusing scene unfolding in front of her. She enjoyed the sight of her mother causing the huge rock to break, and the look of exasperation on her uncle's face as he kicked the piece of rock off his foot and across the river. The force of the kick caused the rock to split through a young maple before slamming into the base of a large fir—which itself shuddered, then fell over into another tree.

"Rematch. Tomorrow," Emmett grumbled.

"It's not going to wear off that fast," Bella retorted. "Maybe you ought to give it a month."

Emmett growled. "Tomorrow."

"Hey, whatever makes you happy, big brother."

Emmett turned to stomp away, but not before he punched the huge boulder, kicking up a spray of rock fragments and dust. Bella watched the fragments settle for a moment, then placed her palm against the boulder's surface, spreading her fingers wide. She seemed fascinated as her fingers easily dug into the stone, crushing it to gravel in her grasp. "Cool," she murmured.

With a smile, she straightened up and then brought the side of her hand down against the stone in a karate-chop motion. It shrieked in protest, then split in two. She started giggling, apparently fascinated by what her body was now capable of. The rest of us chuckled in amusement at the sight of her punching and kicking the two pieces into smaller and smaller fragments. We each remembered the horror of waking up as vampires, but we also had memories of doing exactly this: testing our new bodies and our new limits, taking perverse delight in what we could now do—despite the fact that it so strongly signified the end of our humanity.

I delighted along with her as we watched, but of course I wouldn't have been me if I didn't also find it at least slightly disturbing. She was my physical equal now, and that meant nothing but good things for me, personally, and our future.

But it also meant that the Bella Swan I had fallen in love with was gone. Forever.

The thought made me a little melancholy, but the feeling quickly dissipated when the child in my arms giggled, a light, lilting, innocent giggle at the sight of her mother playing without restraint.

It was hard to be sad when everything Bella—and I—had been through had resulted in this incredible new life.

Bella turned toward us in astonishment. "Did she just laugh?"

Everyone had frozen at the same time, all staring at Renesmee in shock. It was the first time any of us had heard her laugh. The pride swelled in my chest as I cuddled her closer to me. "Yes."

"Who _wasn't_ laughing?" Jacob muttered, rolling his eyes. He was teasing Bella about her antics, so I decided not to be irritated by him.

"Tell me you didn't let go a bit on your first run, dog," I challenged.

"That's different." To my surprise, he made as if to punch me on the shoulder, the way Emmett did when he was joking around. It was an oddly fraternal, familiar and light-hearted gesture for him to display toward me. "Bella's supposed to be a grown-up. Married and a mom and all that. Shouldn't there be more dignity?"

Renesmee's palm was suddenly against my cheek again. She wanted to know why all the fun had suddenly stopped.

"What does she want?" Bella asked.

"Less dignity," I grinned, and couldn't resist squeezing my little girl against me again. "She was having almost as much fun watching you enjoy yourself as I was." _My little girl._

Bella darted forward with a smile, wanting to sweep Renesmee into her arms. "Am I funny?" she asked, holding out a shard of rock. "You want to try?"

Renesmee gave a dazzling smile and took the stone in both chubby little hands. She squeezed, the lines of concentration in her forehead quite hilarious. She managed to grind off a little dust and frowned at it, handing it back to Bella.

"I'll get it," Bella smiled, and easily crushed the fragment to dust in one hand. Renesmee clapped and laughed again at the sight, the loveliness of the sound making all of us laugh in turn.

As we stood on the lawn, the sun suddenly broke through the drifting, fluffy clouds, casting long beams of light over us. It was the first time I'd seen Bella in the sunlight since she had changed, and the sight of her skin sparkling, diamond-like, stunned me silent. Had I appeared that way to her the first time, otherworldly, ethereally beautiful?

Renesmee glanced around, immediately noting that everyone sparkled except her and Jacob. She stretched her arm out next to Bella's, and saw that where Bella gleamed, her own skin simply reflected the light with a faint, pretty luminosity. She wasn't happy that she didn't sparkle, too.

Bella smiled down at her. "You're the prettiest."

I was still captivated by the sight of my beautiful Bella, shiny, dazzling. "I'm not sure I can agree to that," I murmured, giving her a crooked smile when she turned to face me.

Jacob lifted his hand to his eyes as if shielding himself from the glare. "Freaky Bella."

"What an amazing creature she is," I said, unable in that moment to take even his joke as anything less than a compliment. Anything but a compliment directed toward the sight before us was unthinkable.

It was hard to imagine, especially since I continued to mourn the loss of Bella's humanity and assumed that I always would in some way, but in this moment, seeing her in the sunlight, our perfect daughter in her perfect arms...I couldn't help but speculate that maybe, just maybe...she had been meant for this.

She had been meant for this, and meant for me.

I was suddenly ready to take her and Renesmee back to our cottage for an evening to ourselves.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**A/N: Hello, all. Apologies to any who have been waiting for an update from me. I've been back in trial, and I got distracted as well for a couple of weeks working on a bit of a one-shot, which I've posted on Fan Fiction (for those reading this on Twilighted, it's under my Scooterstale pen name). It's a retelling of Chapter 20 of Eclipse, the proposal scene...and it comes with a warning – I took some liberties in the retelling, telling it the way **_**I**_** would have liked it to have appeared in the original...and with a liberal dose of citrus! The faint of heart may want to avoid it...but it's there for anyone who's interested!**

**I'll be on vacation overseas now until early June. See you then!**


	28. Chapter 28: Travel Plans

**A/N: Yes, I'm alive! Thanks to all of you who are still reading despite my long and unexplained hiatus. I have no excuses other than a wicked case of writer's block, busyness at work and a general lack of motivation. But I promised to finish this beast of a project, and I will. I truly appreciate all those of you who have still been reading, favouriting and kindly reviewing during my absence. **

**And extra thanks to my ficwife extraordinaire, katinki, for gently encouraging me to keep going with this without ever getting bossy about it. **** *hugs***

"Edward," Bella moaned quietly. "That's it exactly...right there...don't stop..."

A smug grin creased my face of its own volition as I hoisted one of my wife's legs higher up my shoulder and watched her eyes roll back in her head, her eyelids fluttering closed immediately after. As it turned out, I was a very quick learner when it came to discovering what would make her new body react in certain ways, and easily committed to memory each angle, each touch, each variation in speed and what the approximate result of every change and stroke would be. She was deliciously responsive, and had so quickly seemed to let go of any inhibitions or self-consciousness that may have lingered from her human life.

And to my great benefit, not only was she responsive to me, she was as eager to please me and learn my body as I was to please her and learn hers. So far, our desire for each other had been equal in its intensity and frequency: we were both virtually insatiable, and the fact that we never tired and never physically ached meant that we could spend many long hours giving in to that desire.

In fact, if it hadn't been for Renesmee and our obligations to the family and to Charlie, I suspected that Bella and I may have disappeared to our cottage in the woods indefinitely, emerging only to hunt. There weren't enough hours in the day for me to satisfy my physical need for her. Given the decades I had gone without sexual contact without exactly missing it, it surprised me a little to find that I had so quickly become so..._horny_, as Emmett might say. I had enjoyed making love with Bella when she was still human—_immensely_—but now that I could love her without restraint, holding nothing back, the experience was in a different league altogether.

I simply couldn't get enough.

Emmett in particular found this change in me quite hilarious, and enjoyed teasing me about it almost as much as he enjoyed trying to embarrass Bella. "I _knew_ you had it in you," he'd cackled the third morning after Bella's awakening as a vampire, when we'd appeared at the main house to get Renesmee's breakfast still dishevelled from the night before. "You just had to break the seal."

The rest of the family was a little more dignified in their observations, noting primarily that I seemed much more relaxed than I had ever been, and that both Bella and I were nothing short of blindingly happy. Sickeningly saturated with bliss.

The reasons for that were more than just sexual, however. More than anything, I was beyond ecstatic at Bella's contentment, her joy with her new life. Ever since I had agreed to change her, I had always worried that she would regret it, that she would hate becoming a monster and resent me for my role in it. She had repeatedly assured me that that would never and could never happen, but I had reserved final judgement for when she had actually _been_ changed, and would know first hand all that that meant. I had doubted she could appreciate it until it actually became her reality.

But she had adjusted beautifully, beyond my wildest dreams.

So her euphoria was mine also. I was starting to accept that perhaps she really was meant for this life...meant for _me_. As I was meant for her. And without this rather unique confluence of circumstances, we would never have met, never have found each other.

For the first time in over ninety years, I was learning to appreciate what I had become so long ago. I was learning to appreciate Bella's choice. And since I couldn't think of her as a monster, I was learning to let up on my instinctive self-condemnation as well.

I wasn't there yet. But I felt as though one day I could be.

Some of this was also, of course, attributable to Renesmee, a dream too wild for me ever to have had. In my many years, I had never had even the remotest appreciation for the depth of the joy I would feel at being a parent, at sharing that experience with my wife and knowing that we had created this miracle of a child together when we had never expected to be able to do so. Her every gesture and every thought moved me in a way I hadn't thought possible. She was a blessing in every sense of the word.

When I had first realized that I was in love with Bella, I had thought my dead heart would never be capable of holding more than that profound, all-encompassing love. But with Renesmee, I found that my heart had simply expanded to accommodate this new love, so different from what I felt for my wife.

And Renesmee had been more than a gift in the lives of her parents. The Cullen family, unaltered for so many years, bound by the inevitable sameness of our unchanging existence, was positively transformed. They couldn't get enough of our child and the newness she brought to each day as she grew and learned about the world and its possibilities. The freshness of her observations and reactions let us experience it anew, too, particularly when we could share it with her as she saw it, through the gift of her ability to let us into her mind.

Renesmee had kept Charlie in Bella's life, too, and led to even greater stability in our relations with the wolf pack. Charlie visited whenever he wasn't working, and Sue Clearwater accompanied him most days. She of course knew more about our world and what we were than Charlie would let himself understand, and she remained somewhat uncomfortable around us most of the time. She had been raised to mistrust vampires, and couldn't quite get past her prejudices. She was careful not to voice them aloud to Charlie, however, and he simply attributed her reservation around us to the inherent quietness of her nature. Her silence and calm were among the things he liked best about her.

Happily, the rest of the pack—apart from Leah Clearwater—were more accepting than Sue. Since Jacob couldn't resist being around Renesmee, the other wolves were at the Cullen house often as well. Quil and Embry were as easy-going as Seth, and even Sam Uley and his Emily were more than cordial. A _detente_ had definitely been achieved, and it could be credited to Renesmee.

Not that the idea Jacob Black had imprinted on my daughter still didn't cause me many moments of consternation. His thoughts about Renesmee always remained pure and concerned above all with her happiness and well-being, but on occasion he couldn't help his mind wandering to the future—what she might look like then, what their relationship might be then.

Fortunately for him, he was respectful enough to quickly bring his thoughts back under control and shoot me an apologetic glance when he heard my low growl on those occasions, indicating he knew I had caught him speculating. Bella would look at each of us with narrowed eyes, knowing something was up but unwilling to hear the details. The idea of Jacob as her future son-in-law was something she wasn't ready to try and wrap her mind around just yet.

Quite frankly, neither was I.

"Oh...oh!" Bella managed to croak out beneath me. I sensed her inner walls starting to clench down around me, a sign that her orgasm was mere seconds away. I increased the pace of my thrusts slightly and began to let my own body relax into the sensation, knowing I didn't need to hold back for much longer before we could topple over that precipice together. She dug her short nails into my back in response, and I had to bite my lip to keep from roaring aloud.

"That's it, love..." I murmured, watching as her euphoria transformed her facial expression. She was never more beautiful to me than she was like this, in my arms, taking pleasure from my body. "That's right. Let—"

_Daddy? _

Reflexively, my rhythm faltered at the voice in my head, interrupting the quiet that had been punctuated only by our low moans and soft words for hours. I hadn't even noticed it, but the sun was already up.

Renesmee was awake. It hadn't taken her long to figure out that I didn't need her to touch me in order for me to hear her mind, so despite her newfound ability to speak, her preferred method of letting us know when she woke in the morning was to call out to me silently.

Sensing my momentary hesitation, Bella's eyes snapped open. "Renesmee?"

I nodded and bit down harder on my lip as I resumed the previous motion of my hips, circling to meet Bella's and give her friction in the exact spots she needed. We were both so close, I was determined Renesmee could wait for another few seconds.

_Daddy?_

Her calls were distracting, but I didn't falter again...the tightening in my lower abdomen was too intense, the draw of my impending release too compelling...I had been bringing us both close to the edge and then teasingly pulling us back for the past hour, and I had no intention of abandoning the race to the finish line now.

"Edward," Bella murmured, looking at me now and no longer moving to match my thrusts. "We'd better..."

Rather than answer her, I shifted so that I could reach down between us and rub her most sensitive spot with the pads of two fingers. Her words died in her throat as her eyes rolled back again and her body clamped down around me.

"God, _yessss_..." I hissed as quietly as I could as I came just a moment after she did, burying my face in her neck to muffle the sounds I couldn't help making while I released inside her. Renesmee's hearing was almost as good as ours.

_DADDY! _

Although my legs were still quivering, I chuckled. Renesmee, like me, was not terribly patient.

"Something funny, Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked wryly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I could swear she knows sometimes...the exact wrong moment to be awake, that is."

"Well, given how we spend our nights, any moment she wakes up is likely to interrupt _something_."

"I suppose that's true." I pressed my lips to her neck. "And I'm incredibly grateful for it."

"We aim to please," she smiled, turning her head for a kiss.

I had just slid my tongue into her mouth when a voice called out from across the hall. "Momma? Momma, are you there? Where is Daddy?"

We broke apart and looked at each other in surprise. Although we had all only recently discovered that Renesmee could speak, she didn't do it that often, and had never actually called out to us in the morning like that before.

"I guess she's getting more comfortable using her words," Bella said.

"So it would appear." I pulled out of my wife's body gingerly, sighing inwardly a little at the idea that it would be at least another twelve hours before I would have an opportunity to get back there again. "I'll be right there, Renesmee," I called in a louder voice.

_I'm hungry!_ was the response. Oops...a quick scan of her thoughts told me that she had actually been awake for a while, and had simply lain in her bed watching the birds through her window until she had decided it was time for breakfast. I had been too preoccupied to notice that her mind was awake until she had actually called for me.

I decided to keep that information to myself. Bella was already slightly paranoid about Renesmee hearing us.

I climbed out of bed and reached for my jeans from yesterday, which had been hurriedly discarded on the floor at some point last night. At least they appeared to be intact for once; Bella and I had both been going through an inordinate amount of clothing the past few weeks, seldom exercising enough patience to get whatever we wearing off of one another in one piece. Alice rolled her eyes at us teasingly when we sheepishly confessed what we needed, but was more than happy to shop for us every day or two at the same time as she shopped for Renesmee.

In Renesmee's case, of course, it was her extraordinary rate of growth that dictated her need for new clothes every few days. She seldom wore anything more than once. This was partially because her aunts took hundreds of pictures of her each day in an attempt to create a baby album that appeared to cover many months rather than just a few short weeks and wanted her in different clothing to maintain the illusion. But it was primarily because she grew out of everything so quickly.

It was her rapid development, in fact, that was the only wrinkle in the fabric of our family's contentment: the unknown that was her future. Not her future with Jacob Black or any other suitor, but her future at all—specifically, the length of her life.

While according to Carlisle's measurements Renesmee's growth had slowed down at least somewhat, she was still remarkably advanced for her age, and it suggested a maturation that would bring her to adulthood within a matter of a few short years. We could only speculate as to what that might mean for her life expectancy.

As a result, whenever she did something that was well beyond her chronological age, it was met with admiration forced solely for her sake, barely camouflaging our fear. When she had spoken her very first words at the age of one week, for example—in a complete sentence, no less—everyone in the room seemed to get impossibly paler. Only Bella had been able to quickly swallow her concern and answer our daughter's question without letting on that anything was amiss. Jacob had actually left the house for a few hours directly afterwards, carefully hiding his thoughts from me before he phased into wolf form and disappeared at a run into the forest.

I didn't need to read his thoughts to understand the depth of his concern. It was a faint shadow of my own.

As I hastily yanked my jeans on, Bella watched me from the bed, where she still lounged amidst the tangle of the sheets. Her long hair was a mess, tousled and knotted around her face and fanned out across the pillow. Her pale skin glowed in the faint morning light streaming around the curtains over the windows, and she gave me a lazy half-smile. My heart skipped at the sight of her so relaxed and beautiful.

"What?" I asked, returning her smile with a smirk of my own.

"You," she asked, sighing the single syllable. "I don't know if I'll ever get over how gorgeous you are."

"Funny," I chuckled as I perched next to her on the edge of the mattress, reaching down to stroke her cheek with my fingertips. "I was just thinking the same thing about you."

"In that case…" she began, but was interrupted by the impatient wail from the other room.

"Daddy! I'm still _hungry_!"

I chuckled and gave my wife a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'd better go get our spoiled child before she decides to test her strength on the crib."

"Do you mind if I take a shower and meet you at the main house in a few minutes?"

"Of course not, love. Take your time," I told her, trying not to think about her standing in a hot shower, water pouring over her shoulders and the tight planes of her…

"DADDY!"

I shook my head and chuckled, reaching for a t-shirt as I headed out the door to Renesmee's bedroom.

I found my little girl standing on her mattress, clutching at the wrought iron railing of her crib. It wouldn't be long before she was able to climb right out of it, and I made mental note of the fact that we would have to look for a child's bed for her soon—and a lock for the master bedroom door. Her face lit up with a beatific smile when she saw me. "Good morning, Daddy."

As always, I pushed away the sense of unease I felt when she spoke a full sentence, sounding so much more like a toddler than an infant barely a month old. I focused instead on her beautiful face, framed by bronze ringlets tousled from sleep. "Good morning, my little love. You're ready for breakfast, I take it?" She reached out for me as I reached for her to lift her from the crib and placed her soft palm against my cheek, still her preferred method of communication. I saw exactly what she had in mind for her meal: human blood from her favourite cup.

As yet, we weren't having much luck convincing her to make the switch from the human blood Carlisle managed to obtain from the hospital to animal blood. She wanted what she wanted.

"We'll see, sweetheart," I told her, cuddling her warm body against my cold chest. "Aunt Rose probably has something waiting for you already."

Within moments we were at the main house. As usual, I hadn't bothered to brush Renesmee's hair or change her out of her pajamas—Bella and I had quickly learned there was little point to that exercise in the morning when either Alice or Rosalie would inevitably change her again and do something else with her hair once they got their hands on her anyway.

"_There_ you are," Rosalie sighed as soon as we stepped through the back door into the kitchen. She swooped to my side instantly, already pulling Renesmee from my arms. "I was starting to think you and Bella were planning to keep her to yourselves today."

"We wouldn't dare," I replied with just a touch of sarcasm. Bella and I had decided to spend a couple of extra hours at the cottage enjoying our little three-person family unit on only two mornings to date. On the first, we'd been hounded by our cell phones ringing every five minutes with someone anxiously demanding to know where we were and when we'd be by. On the second, we'd found Jacob and Rosalie not-so-subtly lurking—_hunting_, as they had insisted, ridiculously expecting us to believe that they'd go on an outing together voluntarily—about fifty yards from our front door. After that, we'd decided to give up and simply resign ourselves to sharing our daughter's time with everyone else who loved her.

Though we didn't say it aloud, it was difficult to be selfish when none of us knew how much time we might have with her.

"Ah, Edward..." Carlisle looked up from his chair at the kitchen table pleasantly. Several books and a stack of haphazardly-arranged papers were spread out in front of him. "I think I've come across something new you might want to have a look at. It concerns the Ticuna legends we discussed."

He pushed one of the books toward me as I pulled out a chair and sat across from him. I knew immediately from his thoughts that he had found a book about the ancient tribes of South America, a chapter of which was an account of certain tribal legends. One of them concerned the _Libishomen_ and, surprisingly, a vague allusion to their ability to procreate with human women.

Carlisle and I—with help from Jasper and Emmett both on occasion—had spent much of the last month buried in research, digging for hours through primary and secondary sources written in various languages over the span over centuries, hoping for any mention, even the slightest clue that might assist us with the mystery that was Renesmee as a half-human, half-vampire child. So far we had found precious little other than the odd reference to the legend of the incubus and bold pronouncements from the superstitious that were such a human-vampire hybrid ever to exist, it would have to be exterminated immediately as an abomination in the eyes of God. The texts were concerned primarily with the best methods for accomplishing that goal.

Nothing we hadn't known before, and certainly not helpful.

And nothing that would help us understand what to expect as our daughter grew, how she might develop, what her needs might be.

How long she might live.

I skimmed the excerpt Carlisle pointed to, tapping the page with his fingertip. We knew from my conversation with Kaure on Isle Esme and the thoughts I'd been able to pick from her mind that the Ticuna had old stories about the possibility of a vampire impregnating a human woman, but as far as Kaure had been aware, neither mother nor child ever survived childbirth. This particular book recounted the legend of a vampire-human who _lived_—lived to terrorize the village, of course, but still...it was the first mention we'd come across of such an individual reaching adulthood.

"It's just a story, of course," Carlisle shrugged when I finished reading and looked up at him with what I'm sure was a hopeful expression. "But it's the first reference we've seen to such a person surviving."

"I certainly think it's worth checking out," Alice chirped as she floated into the room with a vase of fresh flowers, pausing where Rosalie sat with Renesmee on her lap to kiss my daughter's soft cheek. _Carlisle told me about this book earlier, Edward. And no, I don't know what you find out if you go down to Brazil...the Ticuna have to decide to talk to you first, and that might be difficult if they recognize what you are and are afraid of you_, she added silently. _But I still think it's worth a try._

"Absolutely it is," Rosalie stated flatly, adjusting Renesmee's position on her lap.

"It can't hurt," Carlisle nodded. "Esme and I could go, make a bit of a holiday of it, check the place on the island..."

"Not without me. I am definitely going with you, Carlisle," I said, just as Bella stepped through the back door, hair still damp from her shower.

"Going where?" she asked lightly, smiling when she saw that Renesmee had noticed her come in and was already reaching out her arms to be held by her mother.

Carlisle and I exchanged a look. He knew I was reluctant to get Bella's hopes up but firmly believed she should know everything we knew when it came to our child. I agreed with him, but had to fight against my natural inclination to shelter her from anything that could be remotely negative.

"Brazil," I answered after just a moment's hesitation. "Carlisle's found something about a Ticuna legend...about someone like Renesmee." I suppressed a shudder at the comparison. The monster described in the legend, attacking the people in their beds while they slept and savagely draining them of blood before they even woke was _not_ like my sweet, good-natured daughter.

"Ticuna?" Bella's brow creased, presumably trying to search her faint human memories. "Weren't those people on Isle Esme Ticuna, the housekeepers?"

"Gustavo and Kaure, yes," I nodded. "The Ticuna are a tribe in Brazil, on the mainland."

"And you think they might know something?" her eyes lit up, hopeful.

"It's a possibility, Bella, but we don't know for sure," Carlisle told her gently. "The idea would be to go talk to the elders there and see what they really know, if anything."

"When?"

"Well, I'd like to do a little more reading first. To see if I can find anything else out. I'd like to be as well-prepared in advance as possible, in case they're reluctant to talk to us."

"Why would they..." she began, then stopped suddenly, glancing around the room at us and then down at her own pale, cold hands. "Of course. They may be frightened."

I rose to my feet and went to her side, wrapping my arms around both her and Renesmee. "I know _you_ never saw us as scary monsters, love, but _they_ might." I kept my voice light and kissed the top of her head, hoping to alleviate her tension at realizing not everyone was as accepting of our kind as she had been.

Bella chewed her lip for a moment, her eyes fixed on Renesmee's beautiful face. "Hmm. Their loss," she muttered. I grinned and hugged her closer to my chest.

The sound of the front door opening and closing and heavy footsteps halted the discussion. Emmett's booming voice rang out from the other side of the house. "Hey, I'm just saying, man..._I _think it's awesome. But the chances of the girls thinking it's appropriate are pretty slim..."

"She's not a china doll, for pete's sake. I think she can handle a game of catch..." we could hear Jacob reply.

"Oh, goody, the dog's here..." Rosalie grumbled quietly. Renesmee's face, by contrast, had lit up with joy at the arrival of her friend. She was patting Bella's cheek with her palm anxiously, asking to be taken to see him. Bella chuckled and started toward the living room once I released her from my arms.

"Good morning, Cullens," Jacob's face broke into a wide smile when we entered, his eyes all for Renesmee. He held something in his hands, and I smirked at realizing what it was and what he and Emmett had been debating. I had to agree with Emmett on this one...while Bella might think it cute, the chances of Alice and Rosalie acquiescing without an argument were slim.

"Hi, Nessie!" he cooed, getting a giggle from her when he tapped her on the end of her nose with one large fingertip. "Have you had your breakfast already?" Bella wrinkled her nose at the nickname but Renesmee beamed at him, reaching out to put her hand on his arm so she could tell him everything about her day so far. I got a perverse sense of satisfaction when he winced as she got to the part about how long it had taken me to come get her from her crib this morning, putting the pieces together quickly to figure out why I had been delayed.

"Well, that's good!" He recovered quickly and focused on the rest of Renesmee's story, finishing with the fact that she had indeed had her breakfast—a blend of deer and human blood she found only marginally less appetizing than a cup of pure deer blood. "Because I brought you something!" He grinned and held up a small t-shirt styled like a football jersey, and a small football, bright blue and plush, just like a stuffed animal. "Do you want to learn how to throw a perfect spiral?" He gave the little football a squeeze and it squeaked, getting another giggle from Renesmee.

Suddenly Rosalie was between them, her hand a blur as it snatched the football from Jacob's fingers. Her eyes were wide with outrage. "Is this a...Did you bring a...Is this your idea of a _joke_?" she spat. "You brought my niece a...a..._dog toy_?"

Jacob scowled. "Well, what did you expect? An official NFL pigskin? She could get hurt with something like that! This is the only soft one I could find small enough for her hands. I thought we could..."

"You thought _wrong_!" Rosalie screeched, flinging the toy across the room so hard it hit the wall with another sharp squeak. Renesmee giggled again, squirming in Bella's arms now so she could get down and investigate this new toy.

"Oh, Rose," Bella chided her with amusement as she set Renesmee down on the floor. Like a shot, Renesmee crawled quickly in the direction the football had taken. "It's just something to play with. What can it hurt?"

"_That_ abomination will hurt my eyes if it gets put anywhere near her, much less _on_ her," Alice sniffed, glaring at the little t-shirt. Typically, she was more concerned about the possibility of a fashion crime than her niece playing with a dog toy.

Jacob rolled his eyes while Emmett chuckled, singing _I told you so_ under his breath. "Fine. She doesn't have to wear the shirt. But she likes the football. Look!" Renesmee sat on the floor near an armchair, having already found the ball where it had landed under a large plant. She squeezed it experimentally, laughing when it squeaked. Mirroring what she had seen Rosalie do, she threw it in Jacob's general direction and clapped when he caught it with one hand. She missed it when he tossed it back to her with a soft underhand throw, but didn't hesitate to crawl after it.

Rosalie grumbled something about a dog teaching others to play fetch, scowling even more when Emmett eagerly joined the game, taking a spot on the floor at Renesmee's level so he could throw to her more easily. Alice merely sighed and shook her head, then went back to what she'd apparently been doing before—flower arranging. A big box of fresh blooms sat on the coffee table, and she gathered armloads to fill the various vases Esme had around the room.

Bella reached for my hand and pulled me to one of the sofas so we could watch Renesmee play with Emmett and Jacob. I nestled into a corner and tucked her against my chest. "So...back to Brazil, huh?" she murmured quietly.

"It appears to be our best option for information at the moment, yes," I nodded, pressing my lips into her hair. As always, it smelled faintly of strawberries and strongly of pure Bella.

"Do we do that before or after I go to Italy?"

I stiffened at her mention of Italy, the source of the only argument we'd had over the past month. The goddamn Volturi, yet again.

While we'd been on our honeymoon, Alice had had a vision of a group of the Volturi guard visiting Forks, coming to see Bella to check and ensure that the edict we'd been given our last trip to Volterra had been followed and that Bella had indeed been changed as we had promised. In an effort to delay their visit, Alice had sent them a wedding announcement, and two weeks ago a package had arrived in the mail for Bella, from Aro himself. Inside an ornate and ancient carved wood box inlaid with pearl and both precious and semi-precious stones had been a necklace: a single, massive diamond the size of a golf ball hung from a thick gold chain. Carlisle had recognized it as medieval, probably one of the original English crown jewels.

Accompanying the extravagant gift had been a single piece of paper, a brief note of congratulations addressed to us both, innocuous enough in its handwritten message apart from the parting line: _"I so look forward to seeing the new Mrs. Cullen in person."_ Although she didn't know Aro as Carlisle or even as I did, Bella had recognized the threat: he was planning to ensure his command had been obeyed, one way or the other. Her answer? Show him she had been changed by travelling to Italy. Alone.

We had argued bitterly over her plan. I could not fathom for a moment the possibility of her doing something so incredibly dangerous as to present herself to the Volturi alone, and forbade it immediately. Anything could happen. Aro was not only a conscienceless killer, he was eccentric to the extreme—bat shit crazy as Emmett said, not to put too fine a point on it—given to vagaries of mood and unpredictable impulses. What if she offended him inadvertently and he decided to kill her? What if she _didn't_ offend him and he liked her so much he decided to keep her? What if that was his way of finally acquiring me and Alice for the guard? Although Carlisle thought it unlikely, he couldn't put it past Aro entirely.

But to Bella's way of thinking, it was the only way to protect Renesmee. Bella was the only one of us whose mind Aro could not read, who wouldn't betray the fact of Renesmee's existence inadvertently. And if Aro learned of her existence, Bella feared, Aro would want her, too. She had a gift, and she was unique—probably the only one of her kind in the world. Exactly the sort of possession Aro coveted most.

I couldn't disagree with Bella's assessment of the situation, and neither could Carlisle. But I still couldn't find it in myself to agree that she do something so fraught with peril. There _had_ to be another way, and until Alice actually saw Aro planning another visit to Forks or any other reason to decide otherwise, I was determined to put any such trip off until we figured out what the better answer was.

We still hadn't come up with one.

I was about to reply to Bella's comment about Italy, but movement across the room caught my eye. Alice had glided over towards where Jacob, Emmett and Renesmee all sat on the floor tossing the stuffed football back and forth. Her arms were full of another load of flowers, and she reached her destination gracefully, shifting the bouquet to one arm so she could grab the large crystal vase sitting empty on a side table. Renesmee was watching her aunt intently, tiny brow furrowed in concentration. Jacob lobbed the ball in her direction but it flew over her head, landing several feet behind her. She turned to look at where it landed, then simply rose to her feet and walked across the floor to retrieve it.

Both Jacob's and Emmett's lower jaws dropped open, so perfectly synchronized in their reaction that it would have been comical if what had provoked that reaction weren't so...disturbing. It wasn't just that Renesmee had walked, on her own, with no coaching and no hesitation whatsoever.

It was that it was yet another indication of her alarming rate of development, and evidence of how little we knew about what to expect with her.

I glanced at Bella and saw that she, too, had watched what Renesmee had just done, and was as astonished and, frankly, _frightened_ by it as I was. The silence in the room was, as they say, deafening, and seemed to stretch on for a long and uncomfortable moment.

In fact, it was probably only a second or two before Jacob had the presence of mind to react to what we'd all just witnessed, and in the only way that wouldn't scare Renesmee: he burst into applause. After another few seconds, the rest of us joined in. Even Bella managed to force her hands to clap together, though the panic in her eyes was unmistakeable.

Renesmee, fortunately, did not appear to notice. Her lips curved up into a pleased smile at our reaction, and she made a point of gracefully stepping back over to her spot on the floor, clutching the football as though it were the prize for her performance.

I turned toward Bella and met her eyes as she turned toward me. "Brazil," I murmured quietly. "And soon."

**A/N: Yes, I'm aware that this is not where this chapter ends in Breaking Dawn. However, I felt that the original skimmed over these months too quickly, so I wanted to fill them in a little. I'll pick up with Irina seeing Ren in the forest next chapter...**


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